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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Why doesn't my brother want me to visit him?
Q. i am 19 and my 13 year old brother has anorexia and he has been hospitalized as his heart rate is very low so he has to stay in there for 2-3 weeks. I was going to see him today but he told my mom that he didn't want me to go. I know he is unwell ...
A. 26 April 2010: You should do your best to forgive him for not feeling well enough to see you. I think he probably is embarassed at being in the hospital. One of the awful things about being in a hospital is that you have no control over your life. You are on ... (read in full...)
How can I catch my wife out?
Q. i am in uk. my wife living in her mothers home in india along with her brother. i am suspecting she is doing sex with her own brother while i am doing phonesex with her. how can i caught her please help me....
A. 26 April 2010: Have a friend call her brother while you're on the phone with her.
Is it just me, or are there a lot of questions from India involving sex with immediate relatives?... (read in full...)
I'm 18, she's 14 and may be pregnant. Could her dad file charges?
Q. I'm 18 and she is 14 turning 15 in less than two months she might be pregnant?Her mom has legal custody her dad doesn't,does that mean only her mom can determine whether to press charges,but her mom is okay with me and her daughter.Help me? what do ...
A. 26 April 2010: Okay, this question now has a lot of answers and attention. OP, if you would like to followup, please PM me and I will arrange that. Otherwise the question is now closed. Thanks.... (read in full...)
Is she cheating?
Q. i recently found out that my girlfriend dont want me to read her smses nor listen when she talks on her cellphone.when i asked her about it she said its a dude that wants her.they stay in the same town while im at university,should i dump her?...
A. 25 April 2010: Not the best sign, is it? I wouldn't be feeling good about this either. Maybe give her some space to figure things out. And you keep yourself busy and a bit unavailable to her. She may realize that she's going to lose you.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Why is she even with me?
Q. Ok, I'll try to summarise this as best I can. We've been dating almost a year, and within the past 4 or 5 months, my girlfriend seems to have actually grown to detest me. She refuses all physical contact, I can't even kiss her on the cheek nowada...
A. 25 April 2010: I got halfway through the second paragraph, I had already broken up with her myself.
May I change the title of the question for you? "Why am I dating this girl?" would be more accurate.
Have you talked with her about this change in your relation... (read in full...)
I don't think about sex when I masturbate?
Q. First of all, sorry for the explicit nature of this question. I'm just wondering if anybody else feels the same way. I'm a virgin (female) and when I masturbate, I can't think about having sex or doing sexual things with another person. Well, I ...
A. 25 April 2010: Nope. Not weird, not at all. You are normal! Don't worry, you are fine.
Masturbation and fantasies are really no one's business but your own. What works for you is one thing, what works for someone else might be another. But no one needs to comp... (read in full...)
What is this mysterious bulge in my lower abdomen?
Q. About a week ago, I had my period. (This is nothing new to me). My period lasts generally 3-4 days at most, then has a day of a little bit of darker, old blood (from old periods. not concerned since this is normal.) However, one of the days, I l...
A. 25 April 2010: Go to http://plannedparenthood.org and use their doctor finding tool. They can help in finding a low cost or free clinic for those unable to pay.
You got some good advice here. I hope you find out what things are! Good luck.... (read in full...)
How do I tell his mum I would prefer my OWN engagement ring and not this family heirloom?
Q. Hi, I have a bit of a dilemma and i could do with some input. My boyfriend's mum phoned me today and we had a lovely chat for over an hour, in which she asked me whether myself and my boyfriend were planning on getting married. I told her that it ...
A. 24 April 2010: Is it possible to turn one ring into the wedding band and the other as the engagement band? That way you get both the old and the new, the past and the future together as one.... (read in full...)
My emotionally unstable ex-girlfriend wants to get back together, how do I say no without crushing her?
Q. Okay, so, I ended a long distance relationship that I had with a girl the next state over from me, we were together for 3-months, I ended it in February. I ended it for a number of reasons, the main one being that I couldn't cope with the distanc...
A. 24 April 2010: I'm happy to hear she doesn't sound like a suicide risk at the moment. Nonetheless, she has verbalized thoughts of suicide and that is not what emotionally and mentally healthy, balanced people do. They do not utter those words. If they DON'T intend ... (read in full...)
I had sex the day I was supposed to start my period. Could I be pregnant?
Q. Could I be pregnant if I had sex the day I was supposed to start period but it never came? I'm 16 please help...
A. 24 April 2010: If the egg was still hanging out and the sperm met up with it, yes, it's possible.
Watch this video for more information: http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
There's more informat... (read in full...)
Was my husband having lustful thoughts?
Q. myself and my husband we had been out for a picnic with a group of friends and their was a female who had worn revealing clothes my husband would look at her in breaks as we were together all the time eating and drinking does this show he was ...
A. 24 April 2010: Seema, you've asked this question or very similar about five times now. Have you read or heard any of the advice you've been given already?
I think you need to see a professional counselor for your self-esteem issues now.... (read in full...)
She doesn't want me to see her sick from her chemo treatments!
Q. My gf and I have been friends for 4 years, dating for 14 months now. Shw was recently diagnosed with cancer. She was really open about it at frist telling me about her fears, wanting me to be there for appointments etc. She started chimo ...
A. 24 April 2010: How is your girlfriend doing? I was just wondering about you and her outcome? All the best.... (read in full...)
My husband farts on me and thinks its funny
Q. My husband farts on me. He thinks its hilarious, and its really annoying to me. It makes me feel like I am one of his frat buddies instead of his wife, who he might like to have sex with again at one point or another. I don't know how to make him ...
A. 24 April 2010: Big chart on the wall. "Sexual encounters with wife" and a number for the month. "Special note: one encounter is removed for each fart". Then do the countdown: 15 minus 3 farts = 12.
That should be hilarious, and effective, if you stick to the coun... (read in full...)
Could my girlfriend have got pregnant?
Q. Hi there, I am really scared so let me just get right too it. My girlfriend and I were in the shower messing around...and she lathered me up with soap so I was nice a nd slick then jerked me off...I came on her side. I didn't really pay attention ...
A. 24 April 2010: Oh, I'm sorry you're scared. Your level of scared is about 1/1000th of how scared she'll be if she gets pregnant.... (read in full...)
Could my girlfriend have got pregnant?
Q. Hi there, I am really scared so let me just get right too it. My girlfriend and I were in the shower messing around...and she lathered me up with soap so I was nice a nd slick then jerked me off...I came on her side. I didn't really pay attention ...
A. 24 April 2010: Oh please don't tell me I spent time answering another troll.
You have to tell her. You can't give her a drug without her knowledge. That is unethical to the extreme and may harm her.
Look. You're having sex. This means that theoretically you are ... (read in full...)
Could my girlfriend have got pregnant?
Q. Hi there, I am really scared so let me just get right too it. My girlfriend and I were in the shower messing around...and she lathered me up with soap so I was nice a nd slick then jerked me off...I came on her side. I didn't really pay attention ...
A. 23 April 2010: One more link: http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
I love this video. It's cheesy, it's corny, it's mildly amusing, and very educational.... (read in full...)
How do I get this girl to hang out with me?
Q. There’s this girl I work with who I have a crush on (we’re both grad.-student/teachers). I never see her at school, but we talk on Facebook chat frequently--I usually initiate the conversation. At any rate, she seems receptive, and always has a ...
A. 23 April 2010: I apologize, I have read a very similar question at least twice in the last week. Perhaps that is how you found DearCupid through Google.
She may indeed have a boyfriend. She may have issues with dating someone in the workplace/at school. She may ... (read in full...)
How can I stop his wandering eye?
Q. hello.. I am married and i know my husband loves me and we have good times together but i get insecure when i find my husband looking at women who dont look all that great but their neckline is low or wearing short skirts and I am ok that my husband ...
A. 23 April 2010: Seema, perhaps if you tell your husband that you understand that men like to look, but that looking again and continuing to look makes him less of a gentleman and eats away at your love for him. Tell him it makes you sad and unhappy when he looks ... (read in full...)
Could my girlfriend have got pregnant?
Q. Hi there, I am really scared so let me just get right too it. My girlfriend and I were in the shower messing around...and she lathered me up with soap so I was nice a nd slick then jerked me off...I came on her side. I didn't really pay attention ...
A. 23 April 2010: Last night, you say? Look, if it's at all possible you put a semen-covered finger inside her, then you have delivered sperm into her vagina.
I think you might want to consider getting her the morning-after pill TODAY. Go see the pharmacist and ask ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him rough sex hurts sometimes???
Q. Me and my boyfriend are in a relationship of 3 years, we have sex very often, all the time he likes having rough sex and I don't know how to tell him that he hurts me sometimes without making him feel bad? What do I say?...
A. 23 April 2010: He'll feel worse finding out later that you are being hurt. Just be honest. "Ouch!" is perfectly acceptable to say if it hurts.
When you say, "all the time he likes rough sex", do you ever have sex the way YOU like it? Do you ever talk about what... (read in full...)
He won't tell me what STI I'm supposed to get treatment for!
Q. hi everyone l real need some advice.l had sex with my bf and after 1 week he send me an a sms saying that l infected him with some kind of sickness l must go for a treatment. l went to de clinic to get help then the nurse told me that they can...
A. 23 April 2010: This sounds like a horrible lie to you. Are you sure it was your boyfriend? Could it be someone who is jealous and got hold of his phone?
Anyway, the clinic should be able to test you for all kinds of STIs, though I doubt you actually have one. Here... (read in full...)
How do I get this girl to hang out with me?
Q. There’s this girl I work with who I have a crush on (we’re both grad.-student/teachers). I never see her at school, but we talk on Facebook chat frequently--I usually initiate the conversation. At any rate, she seems receptive, and always has a ...
A. 23 April 2010: Garm, you've asked this question before, haven't you?
The short answer to your question "how do I either get her to hang out or seduce her?" is this: you can't.
You're getting to sound really kind of creepy, stalkerish and unappealing.
When a gi... (read in full...)
In love with my friends mom but getting mixed signals!
Q. Hi Im 32 Ok what started out as a crush , over the last few years I developed feelings for my friends mom 53 at first it was innocent . I once left my cell with her because we cant talk in private because her husband found out I slept with one of ...
A. 23 April 2010: Tell them you have become extremely busy and don't have the time to spend with them, alas. So what if he calls? Say you're busy, hang up and go volunteer at a soup kitchen. Stop buying her chocolates.
What part about "she's married" are you havi... (read in full...)
In love with my friends mom but getting mixed signals!
Q. Hi Im 32 Ok what started out as a crush , over the last few years I developed feelings for my friends mom 53 at first it was innocent . I once left my cell with her because we cant talk in private because her husband found out I slept with one of ...
A. 23 April 2010: She's married. Wait for her to be single, and then you can pursue things. Otherwise, you're just adding drama to her life and your own.
... (read in full...)
I'm tired of playing games with women
Q. Is it a good idea for me to isolate myself from women forever? I don't think anything good can come out of a relationship for me, and I often worry about catching STDs. I have had it off with prostitutes before. I don't think I have any STDs...
A. 23 April 2010: Bruce, you said you had Asperger's Syndrome in another post. Don't you think that might have something to do with it? How are you managing that? Do you have friends who can give you feedback on your social interactions with them?... (read in full...)
How do I make myself seem sick so I don't have to go visit his family?
Q. I am supposed to go up north (Michigan) with my boyfriend's dads side of the family. i don't want to go because he has never been close with them and it's uncomfortable. The last time i went i had a horrible time. I want to make my boyfriend think i ...
A. 22 April 2010: You're getting great advice. I'm wondering about what "uncomfortable" means. Also could you explain what you mean by you "had a horrible time"? A little more detail there might clarify things for us. Thanks!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend went out with this girl, and said it wasn't a date, but it sure sounds like a date!
Q. So uhm, I had recently broken up with my bf because i was having this strange feeling that he was flirting with his crush, who, by the way, is less pretty, smart, talented and appealing than i am. So i would get really mad whenever id think about ...
A. 22 April 2010: Good for you. Well done. First step. Now you get to grieve the end of the relationship which might not be too much fun, but at least you'll be moving forward. Good luck.... (read in full...)
I'm 18, she's 14 and may be pregnant. Could her dad file charges?
Q. I'm 18 and she is 14 turning 15 in less than two months she might be pregnant?Her mom has legal custody her dad doesn't,does that mean only her mom can determine whether to press charges,but her mom is okay with me and her daughter.Help me? what do ...
A. 22 April 2010: Actually, I think it's the state that presses charges, not the parents. The parent cannot consent to a crime, if you understand me, the age of consent doesn't depend on parental consent to allowing a minor to have sexual contact. In most states the ... (read in full...)
Had sex with a co-worker, should I tell my fiance
Q. My fiance has been in jail going on three months now, his date to be released is May 28th. I love this man with all my heart and soul. We have been through so much with his probation officer and his time. I was able to see him twice a week and talk ...
A. 22 April 2010: Thank you for letting us know. As you seem to have resolved the issue and are finding further answers unhelpful, this question is being closed. Poster, PM me if you would like that to be changed. Good luck to you in the future.... (read in full...)
Is visiting a live porn room with cameras the same as watching porn videos?
Q. How do I interpret the fact that my boyfriend of over 10 years visits live porn rooms? I found out about the online porn videos and live rooms 5 o 6 years into our relationship and found it in my heart to get past it after he agreed not to visit ...
A. 22 April 2010: Thank you for that excellent explanation, Yos, that was really helpful.
Yep. That's over the line. No question. And he's paying for it too? Nope, that's not acceptable to me.... (read in full...)
Is visiting a live porn room with cameras the same as watching porn videos?
Q. How do I interpret the fact that my boyfriend of over 10 years visits live porn rooms? I found out about the online porn videos and live rooms 5 o 6 years into our relationship and found it in my heart to get past it after he agreed not to visit ...
A. 22 April 2010: I can't help you with answering the question about the compulsion. I assume he finds it erotic or stimulating, that would be fairly obvious.
For me, a live room would be going too far in the porn viewing. That's too close to actual interaction with... (read in full...)
Boyfriend told he his fantasies, and asked about mine. But I don't know if I have any! Help!
Q. my boyfriend has a few fantasies and told me them. he asked me if i had any. thing is he is one of my first boyfriends so i don't really know any. what are some of them?...
A. 22 April 2010: You don't "know" fantasies. You would simply have them. What do you daydream about when it comes to sex.
Actually, this is a pretty typical male/female difference at your age. Guys spend a lot of time thinking about sex and imagining what they woul... (read in full...)
Had sex with a co-worker, should I tell my fiance
Q. My fiance has been in jail going on three months now, his date to be released is May 28th. I love this man with all my heart and soul. We have been through so much with his probation officer and his time. I was able to see him twice a week and talk ...
A. 22 April 2010: Actually, we do need to know more about him. Is he mentally stable? Why is it that he re-offended? Why did he get caught?
I applaud you for your loyalty to him. But are you throwing pearls before swine, as the saying goes?
You seem to be able to ... (read in full...)
Had sex with a co-worker, should I tell my fiance
Q. My fiance has been in jail going on three months now, his date to be released is May 28th. I love this man with all my heart and soul. We have been through so much with his probation officer and his time. I was able to see him twice a week and talk ...
A. 22 April 2010: Q spotted the question in my answer, which was "can he handle the truth?" We don't know him. You do. So you have to tell us about him. You didn't answer my question. Do you feel able to talk about your feelings with this man?... (read in full...)
Is taking a break a good idea for a relationship?
Q. *Op's own title* My relationship has reached a point where I am very vulnerable to cheating on my girlfriend. The truth is that she didn't take care of me (and she acknowledges it) and avoided the subject for far too long. After our conv...
A. 22 April 2010: What do you mean, she didn't "take care" of you? What did or didn't she do?... (read in full...)
Flat mate got me pregnant, dumped me, and moved away!
Q. i have a problem. i live in a flat and theres this guy who used to live there. im 17 and he's 21. we had sex a few times and now i might be pregnant. i fell in love with him really quick. but then he dropped me and now hes moved away :(. i dont know ...
A. 22 April 2010: First, find out if you are pregnant. Buy a test or go see your doctor. If you are not, then perhaps you need to explore obtaining contraception for yourself.
If you are pregnant, then you need to see if you can find him to financially support his ... (read in full...)
It's my birthday, ..and I'll invite who I want to!
Q. I'm organising a meal for my birthday this month and I have a huge group of people coming- some are friends from school, some current and ex colleagues etc... Now i have invited an ex colleague if mine who I often see out of work. She was only a ...
A. 22 April 2010: You invite who you want at your party and let them choose to accept the invitation or not. You can't change their attitudes, you can only change yours. If they want to bitch about it, you can choose not to listen. Excuse yourself politely and exit ... (read in full...)
My emotionally unstable ex-girlfriend wants to get back together, how do I say no without crushing her?
Q. Okay, so, I ended a long distance relationship that I had with a girl the next state over from me, we were together for 3-months, I ended it in February. I ended it for a number of reasons, the main one being that I couldn't cope with the distanc...
A. 22 April 2010: "I'm really at a loss for what to do, I feel like I should call up her parents and tell her family that she's been having suicidal thoughts and that she might need help/ counselling, but I'm just not sure. I can't handle these situations very ... (read in full...)
Teacher avoiding me like the plague
Q. ...Okay im confused. Suddenly one of my teachers that i talked to all day almost each day is avoiding me like the plague...I know it, its obvious. He wouldnt talk to me anymore. He just nodded to me and hurry and walk away, when I called his name. ...
A. 22 April 2010: Another possibility is that he's had some bad personal news. Someone close to him may be very ill; he may have some bad medical news himself. Someone he cares for may have died. There are all kinds of personal tragedies and situations that could ... (read in full...)
More turned on by sexting than by me!
Q. Help! after 3 years of marriage i recnetly discoverd my husband has been texting sex text line for the last 2 years, i caught him out 5 months ago,discovered he has spent £16,00 on them. After weeks of emotional turmoil i decided to make it work, ...
A. 22 April 2010: Oof, that's a bad situation. I hate to be negative, but he doesn't sound like a good prospect for recovery. I guess it depends on whether he wants to work on things with you or not. His being a virgin at 40 isn't the cause of this, it's one of the ... (read in full...)
Teacher avoiding me like the plague
Q. ...Okay im confused. Suddenly one of my teachers that i talked to all day almost each day is avoiding me like the plague...I know it, its obvious. He wouldnt talk to me anymore. He just nodded to me and hurry and walk away, when I called his name. ...
A. 22 April 2010: Perhaps he's been told his job is on the line. His career, his livelihood, all about to go away. He'll have to go find a new job, probably not in teaching and he's probably still paying his student loans back.
This guy is in a no-win situation with... (read in full...)
Had sex with a co-worker, should I tell my fiance
Q. My fiance has been in jail going on three months now, his date to be released is May 28th. I love this man with all my heart and soul. We have been through so much with his probation officer and his time. I was able to see him twice a week and talk ...
A. 22 April 2010: You were angry at your boyfriend for his third violation of a non-aggressive but sexual offense. He gave in to his desires and lust. So I think you have a reasonable defense, you gave in to your desires and anger. He should be able to understand ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend went out with this girl, and said it wasn't a date, but it sure sounds like a date!
Q. So uhm, I had recently broken up with my bf because i was having this strange feeling that he was flirting with his crush, who, by the way, is less pretty, smart, talented and appealing than i am. So i would get really mad whenever id think about ...
A. 20 April 2010: You are allowing him to play with your emotions. Take control back. "He won't let me move on."
What would I say to that? "Tough t*tty. Sorry, dude, it's over, we had a chance but it is now over." Then ACT like it, and move on. Read q1605's answ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want me to see her sick from her chemo treatments!
Q. My gf and I have been friends for 4 years, dating for 14 months now. Shw was recently diagnosed with cancer. She was really open about it at frist telling me about her fears, wanting me to be there for appointments etc. She started chimo ...
A. 25 July 2009: One more thing, you are now technically a co-survivor. That means that you need support too. Sounds dopey, but there it is. Let people help you and support you too, don't put more stress on yourself by trying to solve everything. You can't.
In the ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want me to see her sick from her chemo treatments!
Q. My gf and I have been friends for 4 years, dating for 14 months now. Shw was recently diagnosed with cancer. She was really open about it at frist telling me about her fears, wanting me to be there for appointments etc. She started chimo ...
A. 25 July 2009: Oh you poor dears. I feel for you and your girlfriend, I have a close family member just getting through this process. It is sooo hard on everyone involved, it truly is.
I think the thing to recognize is that this cancer is about her, not about you ... (read in full...)
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