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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
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14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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All I've ever done is stand by him but I cant take any more of his behaviour!
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years now, he is a bit controlling if i ever say im going out for a bit he will accuse me of cheating on him, so in the end i end up not going out, it has now come to the stage that i will not feel ...
A. 3 June 2010: You have been sucked into the awful world of an abusive man. You can't fix him by changing your behavior; that's not what's driving him. What drives him is the need to control you and he will continue to do so no matter how docile and obedient and ... (read in full...)
He cheated and then almost killed himself! Do I give him another chance?
Q. hello. i need help.... MY boyfriend of 8 months has been cheating on me with his ex.. on day i was hanging out at home when his ex girlfriend came to my house and told meh everything. ill tell u the convorsation " Yeah. hes been h...
A. 2 June 2010: He sounds like a loser. Lying to her AND lying to you. Yuck. If he'd been my boyfriend, he'd now be my ex-boyfriend. Buh-bye.
And the ridiculous self-harming scene? That's really low emotional blackmail, IF it happened. It's more likely HER curr... (read in full...)
Should I stay or should I go???? He says he loves me but is not in love with me
Q. if a man that you have been with for 3 years tells you he Loves you** but, not in Love with you. should i stay or should i go. a man takes his shower soap to work and then says he is washing up after working in a HOT department in the wareho...
A. 2 June 2010: The very first line had me right out the door. Sadly, but gone. The rest is just icing on the ugly cupcake. I'm sorry.... (read in full...)
How can I make my leg muscles stronger and bigger?
Q. ok so i'm 5' 4'', female, 16 yrs old and about 90-93 pounds...my legs are sooo small like skinny and it honestly does not go with the rest of my body, so i figured i'll work out get some muscle cuz that makes you "appear" bigger, what kinda of ...
A. 2 June 2010: Weight training. Squats, lunges, leg presses, leg curls, calf raises. Go to a gym and get a personal orientation to the machines and free weights by the staff or a trainer.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Sex is so painful with my new husband... how can I broach this subject with him?
Q. hi please i really need you guys to answer this and help me as i am becoming depressed and dont know what to do.. i have been married for almost a year now, me and my husband had sex only the first nite but not properly... after that i have been...
A. 2 June 2010: You really have to go see a gynecologist. I'm afraid you may have a medical condition that is causing this and you will need to be examined. If you want a family someday, I'm afraid you have no choice.
If you are having mental issues involving bein... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong of me to see two different men?
Q. I was involved with a married man a little over a year ago. (His wife knew and approved of the relationship.) He went away for work so I began to persued another relationship with a different man. The second man and myself are in what can be ...
A. 1 June 2010: I'd just be firm but positive with guy #1; "look, I enjoy your company and want to be with you. The current sitation just isn't working for me; I feel as though I am being taken advantage of and I dislike being a 'secret.' When you are able to be ... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong of me to see two different men?
Q. I was involved with a married man a little over a year ago. (His wife knew and approved of the relationship.) He went away for work so I began to persued another relationship with a different man. The second man and myself are in what can be ...
A. 1 June 2010: If the commitment isn't there on behalf of the one guy, then he isn't in a position to demand exclusivity. I think I would make that crystal clear to him, and then you will be free to date whomever you choose. Just as long as no one is being lied to ... (read in full...)
How do I make him see I am sorry for pushing him away and I love him?
Q. I pushed my partner of almost three years away. I have anxiety issues due to the phobia Emetophobia which is basically I am petrified of being sick and others being sick. I went through a bad patch last year and I couldn't be without him. I was ...
A. 1 June 2010: I think you would begin to feel better right away if you took positive steps TODAY to begin healing. Call your doctor and get an appointment or a referral. It will set your feet on the right path and hopefully your head and heart will follow right ... (read in full...)
How do I make him see I am sorry for pushing him away and I love him?
Q. I pushed my partner of almost three years away. I have anxiety issues due to the phobia Emetophobia which is basically I am petrified of being sick and others being sick. I went through a bad patch last year and I couldn't be without him. I was ...
A. 1 June 2010: Has he asked you to seek professional help? Did he suggest counseling or medication? Have you pursued getting those?
It seems the root of the relationship issue is your fear and desperation and that is what needs to be addressed in order for anyt... (read in full...)
I just got married, but I feel neglected! Help!
Q. Hi all, I just got married on May 10th. I know it's supposed to be a happy, joyous occasion, however with my husband working 2 jobs, and going to school full-time, I just sit here all day in our house, with nobody to talk to. So when he gets home, I ...
A. 27 May 2010: Hey, there's a whole lot of settling that happens after the wedding and it isn't all snuggles and roses.
On my honeymoon, I came out of the restroom at a world famous museum only to find him checking work voicemail from the payphones. I wasn't too ... (read in full...)
Are we heading for a rocky end?
Q. me and my bf have been together for 3 years now. I love him to pieces no-one makes me laugh, feel safe and creates that sparkle in my eyes the way he does. I know he loves me very much 2. We have had the usual ups and downs that couples have but ...
A. 27 May 2010: You're a little stressed right now with all your schoolwork but I highly recommend that the two of you locate your senses of humor. HumoUr, sorry. You two also need to practice some communication skills.
Is this keeping you hanging a one-time thin... (read in full...)
I just got married, but I feel neglected! Help!
Q. Hi all, I just got married on May 10th. I know it's supposed to be a happy, joyous occasion, however with my husband working 2 jobs, and going to school full-time, I just sit here all day in our house, with nobody to talk to. So when he gets home, I ...
A. 27 May 2010: You sound like you have the right attitude, you just need to turn your focus elsewhere for a bit. If he perceives that he's losing your attention, I'll bet he'll sit up and take notice. Make him miss you a little bit.
The other thing for you righ... (read in full...)
She broke my heart, Should I meet up with her?
Q. I'm lesbian. And when I was a young I developed a crush for my best friend. We were riends for 13 years and I never told her. She broke my heart when she was dating people partly because I was in love with her but mostly because she stopped hanging ...
A. 27 May 2010: If you feel able to cope with it not going really well, why not meet her for lunch? Look, it's not her fault she couldn't love you back in the way you wanted. It just is what it is. So perhaps some forgiveness, on both parts, is in order here?
I... (read in full...)
I just got married, but I feel neglected! Help!
Q. Hi all, I just got married on May 10th. I know it's supposed to be a happy, joyous occasion, however with my husband working 2 jobs, and going to school full-time, I just sit here all day in our house, with nobody to talk to. So when he gets home, I ...
A. 27 May 2010: The real problem is that you are not getting enough social interaction with other people, so you are relying on your new husband (congrats, by the way) to provide for all of that. That's really not fair to a man holding down 2 jobs and going to ... (read in full...)
Two years and I still cant make her orgasm....help me someone!
Q. Hey everyone, Well here's the situation, me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years and im not sure if ive ever really given her a true orgasm... The other day we were completely alone and i set out rose petals, turned on romantic music, ...
A. 27 May 2010: She should know when she has one. It's kind of unmistakable. There will be some rhythmic contractions of her vagina.
Perhaps you're focusing too much on her clitoris. It can get over-sensitive. Or she just needs to allow the tension to build to the ... (read in full...)
How good are older men 45 and up in bed?
Q. I have read in many articles that men's performance during sex becomes worse as they get older, due to menopause and other factors. Does age really matter in how well a man performs? For ex, is a 30 year old better in bed than a 48 year old?...
A. 27 May 2010: Oh, I think a 48 year old, if he's been paying attention, can be a whole lot better in bed than a 30 year old. He's figured out what works for his woman, and for him.
If you mean erections and refractory periods between them, ah well, youth does... (read in full...)
I'm getting the feeling she's just ignoring me, but I have no idea why
Q. I've been talking to this girl for a while now and I really like her. I thought she liked me as well, so I told her how I felt and it turned out she wasn't looking for a boyfriend and she said she was sorry if she gave me the wrong impression. ...
A. 27 May 2010: You're right, it would have been civil of her to tell you why she's not responding. But she's not, so perhaps she's a coward? Or mean? Or busy.
Whatever she is, you need to let it go. You are worrying this thing like a terrier with a rodent.
No cl... (read in full...)
The 'break' is going to be permanent. Do I tell her there's someone else?
Q. I initiated a "break" with my girlfriend about two weeks ago. Since then, I have started seeing and sleeping with a co-worker. I really like this new girl, and it seems the feeling is mutual. I am meeting with my "ex" in a few days. A chance f...
A. 26 May 2010: Why did you go on a "break" when you knew full well what you were planning to do? That's where you lied in the first place.
Be honest with her, she might as well know the truth, as it will crystallize for her the fact that you have indeed moved on. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be married and have crush like this?
Q. My work frined and I are deeply attracted and connected to each other and i'ts driving me mad, I'm losing my concentration! I am having good days when we are together and bad days when we're not. The problem is that we are both married. We ...
A. 26 May 2010: Oh, I think crushes like this happen a lot. It's what you do next that could make or break your career or marriage. It's so much fun to have the giddy feelings and feel like a teenager again, but unless you have some sort of passive-aggressive thing ... (read in full...)
Little things in our relationship are starting to bother me.......
Q. Alright, my boyfriend and I have been together now for almost a year, and before that we were friends for just over a year. We have a really great relationship, lots of trust, honesty, and friendship and have only in our year span gotten into one ...
A. 26 May 2010: Hi, sorry for the really long delay in getting an answer to you. Things get very busy around here sometimes and questions just miss getting answers. I hope you are able to get my message.
Okay, what is so scary about saying to him, "George, we'v... (read in full...)
Is my married neighbour interested in me?
Q. hi, i like one married women , she is my neighbor , that women so many time drank with me but ya she all ways with her hubby,, in last party i give her birthday gift and her hubby also give to her but she like my gift much and when i get chanc...
A. 26 May 2010: She doesn't sound interested in you, sorry. She would take your calls if she were. You probably were too forward and she didn't like it. I don't think she was playing with you either, I think you might have misinterpreted her actions.
If she is a... (read in full...)
I'm getting the feeling she's just ignoring me, but I have no idea why
Q. I've been talking to this girl for a while now and I really like her. I thought she liked me as well, so I told her how I felt and it turned out she wasn't looking for a boyfriend and she said she was sorry if she gave me the wrong impression. ...
A. 26 May 2010: You changed the dynamic of the relationship when you told her you had feelings for her. She probably tried to keep on talking to you as a friend but couldn't shake that image of you being upset. And she probably feels a bit guilty and sad that she ... (read in full...)
I'm getting the feeling she's just ignoring me, but I have no idea why
Q. I've been talking to this girl for a while now and I really like her. I thought she liked me as well, so I told her how I felt and it turned out she wasn't looking for a boyfriend and she said she was sorry if she gave me the wrong impression. ...
A. 26 May 2010: Maybe she just decided it was easier not to talk to you anymore, as school was ending, and was too scared or couldn't be bothered to tell you not to text her any longer. She may just feel awkward.
I think you should just leave it. She knows how to c... (read in full...)
Why is sex painful?
Q. why does it hurt when he does deep inside of me ( my leg on his shoulders) but it does not hurt when it is not hitting the end ( my legs open at th side of his arms while he is on top of me ). is thr somethng wrong? ...
A. 26 May 2010: Your doctor should examine you and make sure you don't have an injury or other problem. Especially as you are really too young still for sex. You may just not be physically mature enough, despite looking grown up on the outside.
Take care of your... (read in full...)
How good are older men 45 and up in bed?
Q. I have read in many articles that men's performance during sex becomes worse as they get older, due to menopause and other factors. Does age really matter in how well a man performs? For ex, is a 30 year old better in bed than a 48 year old?...
A. 26 May 2010: What exactly do you mean by the word "performance"?... (read in full...)
How do I tell my husband I just want to be friends?
Q. I knew before I ever met my husband that I didn't ever want to be anybody's 'wife'. He is a good man and my best friend, but after 9 years of marriage I still don't like the role of wife. How do I get back to just being friends without the pressure ...
A. 26 May 2010: The word you seem to be looking for is divorce. That generally ends the sexual and financial commitments and partnership, depending on children and joint property. It could be that he will feel able to be friends, but that is his call.
Is he awar... (read in full...)
I'm being blackmailed into sex, help!
Q. well uhm, i'm being blackmailed. I feel pretty low about it, but i can't get out of it. Basically this guy who i've been friends with for two years has always been there for me, and now he's being all lovey dovey and sending me innopropriate texts. ...
A. 26 May 2010: If he's threatening selfharm, you have no choice but to tell a responsible adult. Your parents, his parents, a teacher, the school counselor, someone who can get him help.
Don't worry about all the other stuff, all of the adults were teenagers once... (read in full...)
I am ginger with glasses, how do I make myself more attractive?
Q. I am ginger with glasses and people give me a har time over it. How do I make mysel more attractive without dyeing my hair (I love my hair as it is) or getting contacts....
A. 25 May 2010: A really good haircut and a great pair of glasses. Clean smelling, well-fitting, stylish clothes. Clean fingernails, always. Clean clothes, clean undies. They don't have to be ironed but not masses of wrinkles either.
Men underestimate the powe... (read in full...)
Warn the Cheating Ex's New Girlfriend?
Q. My ex was cheating on me. For more details you can go here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-checking-a-partners-internet-activities-a-violation.html I have since the break-up been breaking my own rule and checking his Facebook. I alre...
A. 25 May 2010: What's your plan? Just to warn the one girl? Then leave him be? Or could it be that you might continue to stalk him and warn any girl who gets anywhere close to him? Where does this end?
I think you are still very angry at him and are trying to find... (read in full...)
I am ginger with glasses, how do I make myself more attractive?
Q. I am ginger with glasses and people give me a har time over it. How do I make mysel more attractive without dyeing my hair (I love my hair as it is) or getting contacts....
A. 25 May 2010: Guys. This is a boy asking, from the little note "A male, aged..."
Make up and long hair probably aren't what he's looking for....... (read in full...)
Unknown Infection. Please help!
Q. For the past few days I have had itching around my vagina. I noticed that my discharge is alot more white than usually as well as having white clumps in it. These white clumps have been contineous. I noticed my boyfriend also has the same problem...
A. 25 May 2010: If this is your first yeast infection, you should be seen by your doctor to confirm it is that, before you start self-diagnosing and self-treating. What if it is something else, like an allergy to latex? It is not a good idea to take these chances ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to pass on thrush to your Boyfriend?
Q. I have some symptoms that are quite like thrush. However my boyfriend and I had sex sunday night and now he appears to have the same symptoms. Red gentils, itchiness, White clumps, odour etc. Is it possible that I could have thrush and passed i...
A. 25 May 2010: It could be what we Americans call a yeast infection, you call it thrush. Candidiasis is probably a more accurate term.
Either way, if you have these symptoms, and now he has these symptoms, it doesn't take a rocket scientist (which I am NOT) to s... (read in full...)
I am gay, he is straight, should I tell him how I feel?
Q. I'm a 15 year old guy and I'm gay. I've always known that so that isn't the issue. I've been having REALLY strong feelings for another guy, but he's straight. I don't know if it's love (I doubt it) but they're strong enough feelings to make me ...
A. 25 May 2010: He is technically unavailable to you because he is straight. You approaching him knowing this is just kind of selfish. You're just going to make him feel uncomfortable to be around you.
Picture this: a really good girl friend has fallen in love with... (read in full...)
My long distance relationship has reached breaking point, what should I do?
Q. Hello everyone, I'm 23, my girlfriend and I have a long distance relationship. We've been together 4 years and her communication with me has broken down completely. She's always had 'rules' that I have to follow, like I am not allowed to phone...
A. 25 May 2010: She clearly thinks that she is the one who decides what happens in this "relationship." You apparently aren't qualified to end the farce, in her way of thinking. I'm sure she's quite confused that you've actually shown a bit of backbone and have ... (read in full...)
Family treats me like I"m 11 and I want to move out
Q. hey there i have a few problems actually alot so if you could help me out with them that would be great ok so first off is i have a wonderful boyfriend and we have only been dating for about two months but we have so much in common! i sleep over at ...
A. 24 May 2010: Wow, that's quite a list. I wish I was 17 again and had the whole summer stretching out in front of me.
I have been there. I have had the boyfriend who lived too far away; I have lived in the town where I didn't know anyone; I have felt so unha... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 24 May 2010: Have you verified for yourself with his wife that he is in an open relationship? Because if he is, then she shouldn't mind knowing.
I sincerely doubt he is telling you the truth.
I have given my advice and it is up to you whether or not to take it.... (read in full...)
Our break up has ruined their friendship, how I can I fix this?
Q. my boyfriend dumped me, and didn't make an effort to contact me afterwards despite saying he wanted to remain friends. i ran into some of his friends at a bar we frequent about a week after the break-up, and they asked me what happened, because my ...
A. 23 May 2010: You honestly should just leave it alone. They're presumably adults? Let them sort their own problems out without any help or interference from you. I wouldn't feel too guilty either, you've already had your share of toxic emotions. Just leave it be ... (read in full...)
He says it's over -- is it?
Q. Ok, this is going to be a long one but I really need as much advise as I can get. So, I was with this guy for over a year. In this year we got very serious. We lived together, had a boat, a dog, a quad. Our friends are even the same people. We moved ...
A. 23 May 2010: You wouldn't bother trying to analyze why a four year old throws a tantrum, would you? You wouldn't blame his tantrum on your over-controlling or your insecurities or yourself at all. He's a four year old, he's not developed or matured enough to ... (read in full...)
My job, car, and house suddenly don't seem good enough to ask for her hand!
Q. Hi, I am under a little bit of stress over my relationship. We have been together for 3 years and had plans real soon of asking for her hand; however all of the sudden my job, car and where I live gets brought up. Funny thing is that it wasn't ...
A. 22 May 2010: A number of years ago, my husband and I had the opportunity to live overseas. He had a three-year assignment with his company. We sold our cars and found a renter for our house and moved over to start this new adventure.
We needed to buy a car and ... (read in full...)
They're not fake. Really.
Q. My question involves my breasts. I was really blessed... i guess with my dads metabolism and my moms big boobs. They are 34DD and still growing. i'm 18 and 5'10" and very small waisted. People (mostly guys) think my boobs are fake... how would i get ...
A. 22 May 2010: I think the thing to do is to convey how rude, immature and grossly insulting that they're making it public what they think of your body. "What on earth is the matter with you? Do you realize how rude that comment is? Do me a favor and keep your ... (read in full...)
How can I stop finding fault in other people?
Q. Hi everyone. I have a unique problem and I want to do something about it, but it's not easy. I manage to find fault in people all the time. Not a day goes by where I don't think about something someone did that has upset me. Just a few minutes ago, ...
A. 22 May 2010: You REALLY must read that book I recommended in another post.
Interrupt your thought process. So the next time you find fault with someone, stop, think of 3 positive things about them. For each negative thought, consciously come up with three posi... (read in full...)
My long distance relationship has reached breaking point, what should I do?
Q. Hello everyone, I'm 23, my girlfriend and I have a long distance relationship. We've been together 4 years and her communication with me has broken down completely. She's always had 'rules' that I have to follow, like I am not allowed to phone...
A. 21 May 2010: This is a line from a classic song: You can't always get what you want. In this case, I doubt face-to-face closure will be possible.
I want to point something out to you: you have ceded control of this relationship to her. Take it back. Take back... (read in full...)
My long distance relationship has reached breaking point, what should I do?
Q. Hello everyone, I'm 23, my girlfriend and I have a long distance relationship. We've been together 4 years and her communication with me has broken down completely. She's always had 'rules' that I have to follow, like I am not allowed to phone...
A. 21 May 2010: You've kept yourself from living for the past three years for a girl who can't see you, who cheats on you and who doesn't return your love in the same way.
I don't know how to put this in a gentle way, so here it is: you are wasting your life. You ... (read in full...)
My long distance relationship has reached breaking point, what should I do?
Q. Hello everyone, I'm 23, my girlfriend and I have a long distance relationship. We've been together 4 years and her communication with me has broken down completely. She's always had 'rules' that I have to follow, like I am not allowed to phone...
A. 21 May 2010: Have you sent her any money during these past 4 years?... (read in full...)
He says it's over -- is it?
Q. Ok, this is going to be a long one but I really need as much advise as I can get. So, I was with this guy for over a year. In this year we got very serious. We lived together, had a boat, a dog, a quad. Our friends are even the same people. We moved ...
A. 21 May 2010: Hey, I think I just answered your other question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-my-ex-going-out-of-his.html
... (read in full...)
He says it's over -- is it?
Q. Ok, this is going to be a long one but I really need as much advise as I can get. So, I was with this guy for over a year. In this year we got very serious. We lived together, had a boat, a dog, a quad. Our friends are even the same people. We moved ...
A. 21 May 2010: There was an interesting comment in that link about how someone is trained to be with a narcissist, usually by another narcissist. Perhaps that why the families love each other?
That's a peculiar thing to happen to a boy in childhood, to be sent... (read in full...)
He says it's over -- is it?
Q. Ok, this is going to be a long one but I really need as much advise as I can get. So, I was with this guy for over a year. In this year we got very serious. We lived together, had a boat, a dog, a quad. Our friends are even the same people. We moved ...
A. 20 May 2010: Google "borderline personality disorder." I don't know enough about it to know if that's his problem, but from what I've heard, it could well be.
He sounds like a guy who is used to getting what he wants and becomes petulant and angry and mean when... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 20 May 2010: Why are you afraid of seeing someone who can actually help you?
To get over this feeling, you need to start to examine why you got to this point. What is going on in your life that you made this choice? What is your relationship with your fath... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 19 May 2010: I'm curious, what did you think would happen? Because I don't think you would have slept with him if you hadn't been thinking about it. I think you have built up a fantasy surrounding this guy, and now the cold hard brutal truth is that he is not ... (read in full...)
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