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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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How can I change her mind? My wife has unexpectedly said she wants a divorce!
Q. My wife and I have been married for four years. I thought these were happy times for her, because we had just recently purchased a house together. I am attending school again, and working. We both are making good money and everything is was good. ...
A. 1 December 2011: I'm sorry you didn't reach the conclusion you wanted with your wife but at least you are on the road to your own happiness. It sounds like you're doing fine and will come out of this a bit wiser. I hope you find someone who will make you happy! Good ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 10 October 2011: Hi popeye, it sounds like you have managed to overcome your RJ in a very successful and positive manner. I certainly know no one WANTS to feel RJ or suffer from it; it is not a conscious choice. I guess though that your example and that of other ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 10 October 2011: Hi idea, I'm sorry I've just seen your comment here. If you have a question, it's a good idea to post it on the site here: http://www.dearcupid.org/ask
Otherwise, just take a look around and scroll through the questions in various categories. You ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 28 July 2011: Thanks for the new additions to the thread, I really think this is a good way for these topics to be covered in a respectful manner. I often see anons posting such bitter and angry words, using the words 'slut' and 'whore' and would invite them to ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 19 July 2011: I just HAD to copy/paste this answer to another thread. It was a personal distillation by an anon poster as she struggled to come to terms with her boyfriend's RJ. I really like how she breaks it down into concrete chunks so we examine each piece of ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 14 January 2011: Hi somewhatdamaged, it sounds to me as though you should seek counseling immediately if you are having suicidal thoughts. I would recommend that you see your physician and get an appropriate referral immediately. There are treatment modalities ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 19 December 2010: You're welcome! Thank Yos and other aunts who came before you and made me realize I did not know how to help. So here's the safe place to discuss it. I'm delighted to have been of help to you. A real day-brightener!
Best wishes to you and your girl... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 20 August 2010: This actually kind of illustrates one of the things I wrote in the original post:
"BUT, it must be respectful of the aunt holding a differing viewpoint. You must keep in mind that you may disagree with another aunt, but keep it cordial. If you can'... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 9 August 2010: @Stonemason, thanks for posting. No, your situation wasn't one of the ones I was referring to. I've been on DC for a while now and the situation I see again and again is the man who posts that he's just found out his wife wasn't a virgin, or that ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 31 July 2010: PM, thank you so much for contributing that good insight about the loss of trust issue. This is definitely something that people have to work through and it's not made easier by unspoken assumptions. I hope that anyone reading this has a good think ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 27 July 2010: @Serpico, no problem. If you don't think that this will be helpful to anyone, there's no need for you to link here.
It's like Q just said, we have seen post after post turn into unhelpful and possibly hurtful debate, rather than focusing on the ... (read in full...)
Ready to throw in the towel!!
Q. I have known my girlfriend for 15yrs, we have been in a relationship for 6yrs. this month I asked the big question and bought her an engagement ring. My co worker family owns a jewelry store so i bought a second hand ring that has been appraised for ...
A. 27 July 2010: I just googled solitaire diamond engagement rings, and you can buy a 1 carat diamond solitaire for somewhere around $2.2 K, so either you were ripped off by your friend, or you haven't actually come clean on how much you actually spent.
... (read in full...)
Ready to throw in the towel!!
Q. I have known my girlfriend for 15yrs, we have been in a relationship for 6yrs. this month I asked the big question and bought her an engagement ring. My co worker family owns a jewelry store so i bought a second hand ring that has been appraised for ...
A. 27 July 2010: Just to doublecheck something. You said it was a .69 ct ring appraised at 5K. Does this mean that it is a .69 solitaire diamond that you paid $5K for, or did you spend closer to $2K? Or even less?
There's the appraisal, which is essentially wort... (read in full...)
Her parents want us to take a test to see if we had sex
Q. MOD NOTE: All signs point to the fact that the poster cannot be 33. okay i had sex with this girl and her parents kinda know so now they want us to go take a test to see if we did and i never cum in her would they still find out?...
A. 26 July 2010: How old are you?... (read in full...)
Ready to throw in the towel!!
Q. I have known my girlfriend for 15yrs, we have been in a relationship for 6yrs. this month I asked the big question and bought her an engagement ring. My co worker family owns a jewelry store so i bought a second hand ring that has been appraised for ...
A. 26 July 2010: Okay, I'm going to play devil's advocate here. The opinion expressed next is not necessarily that of the aunt known as Tisha. Now that we have the legalities out of the way, allow me to explain.
In thinking about this, my first reaction was to get ... (read in full...)
We didn't do anything so how could I be pregnant?
Q. I come from a christian family and so does my boyfriend. We didn't have sex though. We both decided not to do anything that would ruin our stands as Christians. But I think I'm pregnant now.. One night I was spending the the weekend with him and his ...
A. 26 July 2010: You must be very confused and worried. If any of his semen made it to your vulva at the right time and you were fertile, this could have resulted in a pregnancy, even if you didn't have sexual intercourse.
There's an educational video about it here... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me my legal consumer rights please?
Q. I ordered a phone from T Mobile to upgrade my handset. I was told over the phone that I could try if for 7 days, if I dont like it that there was no obligation and I could just return it. I received the mobile and didnt like it so I called them to ...
A. 26 July 2010: http://support.t-mobile.co.uk/resources/sites/TMOBILE/content/live/DOCUMENTS/0/DO187/en_GB/MC-19265-0609%20ComplaintsPolicy%20WEB.pdf
(you'll have to copy/paste that whole thing)
If you ordered it with a credit card you could try to have the cred... (read in full...)
Risk of diseases from anal sex
Q. Hey guys, whats the risk of diseases of doing anal sex? by the way im (13). My boyfriend (16) wants vagina sex but im not ready so we do anal and i want to know what risks there are of doing it? Im also really horney all he time and he wants me ...
A. 26 July 2010: There are risks of STDs whenever you have sex. To your question, I found this link with some great information: http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/menshealth/sexlife/analsex.htm
Technically, you are underage and this kind of sexual contact is ille... (read in full...)
He's brought up having a threesome with a woman. Only he's already had a threesome with her and his exwife!
Q. So i just moved in with my boyfriend of over a year, and we have a fantastic sexual chemistry. We have talked about having a threesome. Over the weekend he was approached by a friend of his, she asked about having a threesome with us. So he told me ...
A. 26 July 2010: I'm sorry, I just reread your post again and I see that I missed a major part of this. That you are suffering from retrograde jealousy (also called retroactive jealousy) due to uncontrollable images and thoughts of his sexual history. Now that's a ... (read in full...)
I finally get to ask her out... and she says no!
Q. Hey I'm 13-14 years old and there is this really cute girl in my class and she has broken up with her boyfriend a month or two back and I've already asked her to go out but she said no and she just wants to be friends I've liked her since mid ye...
A. 26 July 2010: Okay, that makes things a little clearer. You were afraid of rejection and then you wanted to be the good guy and do the right thing. That's a good start.
This girl sounds like she changes her mind a lot. It's kind of common in teenage girls not ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 26 July 2010: Q and Miamine, you both understand what it is I'm trying to create here, thank you both for your help and input and insight! It is much appreciated.... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 26 July 2010: "a person deserves the chance to choose, say one partner was a molester ten years ago wouldnt you want to know the whole deal so that what ever consequences that come from it, it was your choice?"
I agree that a person deserves to know whether the ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 26 July 2010: Some good posts on this thread about the topic: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-forget-about-my-wifes-past.html
... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's behaviour getting weird?
Q. Would like to get some opinions on whether my boyfriend's are normal We have been together for 2 months. He only kissed me lightly on the lips ONCE and most of the time he wanted me to neck him and to stroke his penis. There were also times when ...
A. 26 July 2010: It's normal for a man to be attracted to a woman and to want to do sexual things. How old are you? Your age range is listed as 26-29, so I'm just wondering if this if your first boyfriend or first sexual contact?
While his approach may be some... (read in full...)
I'm still married to the man that molested my daughter!
Q. I am married now for 33 years. I thought i was the luckiest woman alive! Happy family 3 sons and a daughter and a wonderful husband. A year ago i found out that my husband molested my daughter since she was 3 years old. She is now 25. S...
A. 26 July 2010: I hate to bring in the law but you are breaking the law in South Africa if you do not report this. You must take steps to protect your grandchildren. Here is a link for you that can get you started. http://www.childlinesa.org.za/
Here is a copy of t... (read in full...)
Could it be that my wife was not a virgin when we married 6 months ago?
Q. Hi, My Name is Premkumar. I have got married six months before. My wife is 19 years old, she is very healthy, according to her age her weight is more. her weight is approx 65 kg. on my first night with my wife while intercourse blood does not f...
A. 26 July 2010: The best way to find out if she is satisfied is to ask her. If she doesn't appear to have an orgasm as you do, then she probably has not had an orgasm. Are you doing lots and lots and lots of foreplay with stimulation of her clitoris? I have so... (read in full...)
Would you care if if your boyfriend was circumsized or not?
Q. Ok, a few weeks ago i had the opportunity to have sex with a girl for the 1st time, but i held out...because I am un-circumcised and was afraid of what she would think because i know most people are circumcised and i know she had been with a couple ...
A. 26 July 2010: Nah, it's more about the guy than if he's been circumsized. Is this the girl who has a big mouth and would talk to people about your first sexual intercourse? I advised you not to have sex with her unless you were prepared to have your "performance" ... (read in full...)
My wife was a prostitute, but she's mad at me for confronting her.
Q. I've posted here before about the agony of my wife running away at the age of 14 and having sex with strangers on the way or while she was there, she was somewhat shortcoming of the details. After a certain coincidental set of circumstances, I...
A. 26 July 2010: Counseling to me has been the equivalent to talking to a mirror. "So why do you think you feel that way??
"Why would you want to imagine all these horrible thoughts?"
And you don't want to answer those questions? Mirrors make it possible for ... (read in full...)
I finally get to ask her out... and she says no!
Q. Hey I'm 13-14 years old and there is this really cute girl in my class and she has broken up with her boyfriend a month or two back and I've already asked her to go out but she said no and she just wants to be friends I've liked her since mid ye...
A. 26 July 2010: What do you mean, "is there anything else I must do?"
Um, she said no. I'm sorry you are experiencing rejection, but it happens to just about everyone. You learn to live with it, it is part of growing up, I think.
The only thing you "must do" is a... (read in full...)
He's brought up having a threesome with a woman. Only he's already had a threesome with her and his exwife!
Q. So i just moved in with my boyfriend of over a year, and we have a fantastic sexual chemistry. We have talked about having a threesome. Over the weekend he was approached by a friend of his, she asked about having a threesome with us. So he told me ...
A. 26 July 2010: So you moved in, talked about having a threesome and then suddenly this ex-sex partner shows up asking about threesomes? Hm. Very strange.
I think in an ideal world, a guy who wanted threesomes with his girlfriend would have worked out all the grou... (read in full...)
Why did she stare at my penis area for so long??
Q. Hey guys and girls, has anybody ever seen a girl completely stare at the location of your penis buldge before?(for at least 10 seconds) What does this mean? Is the girl trying to see the size of my penis through my pants(is that possible?) Its ...
A. 26 July 2010: So she was in her car, sitting in the driver seat, and you were right there standing by the car? hm.... (read in full...)
He seems confused, he loves me, he doesn't, any suggestions as to why??
Q. i have been dating this guy for over a year now and he says he doesn't love me, but the strange thing is he said " i love you" first, so finally I got the courage to ask him why he doesn't love me anymore, and he said it's because we had sex to ...
A. 26 July 2010: If I were you, I'd drop him, he's playing dopey mind games with you. There are plenty of guys out there who would appreciate you--why waste another second on a guy who doesn't love you???... (read in full...)
My marriage and my husband are boring me to pieces, what can I do, give up??
Q. My God. The boredom I am feeling these days is unrelenting. Well - I have been married to my husband for 2.5 years and we dated for 10 months before that. We were BEST OF FRIENDS and we got along famously. I've had better bedbuddies - but I ...
A. 26 July 2010: Could you tell us why you married him?... (read in full...)
I have an attraction with the other woman...
Q. I recently met a woman who I started dating. I was rather unimpressed with her so over weight and that she was not really a good looking person. We have no plans to extend this into a relationship as we agreed that we were just dating. I do like her ...
A. 26 July 2010: It would have been so much easier if he wasn't going for a friend of his FWB. Only I don't think his FWB thinks she's an FWB, I think she thinks she's a GF. Which is where the problems fits in.
He has to end the FWB first, before he can date the ... (read in full...)
Why did she stare at my penis area for so long??
Q. Hey guys and girls, has anybody ever seen a girl completely stare at the location of your penis buldge before?(for at least 10 seconds) What does this mean? Is the girl trying to see the size of my penis through my pants(is that possible?) Its ...
A. 26 July 2010: Did you doublecheck to make sure you weren't accidentally exposing yourself? Or that you didn't spill something on your crotch or had a tear in your trousers?
Who was the girl?... (read in full...)
Can women determine genital size just by looking at a guy??
Q. Can women tell if you are well endowed just by looking at you or a part of you? Or what are some things women look at on a guy to try and guess what size a guy is?...
A. 26 July 2010: You have to love the defenses some of the male commenters tried. "Uh dude it was about the strike zone.... yeah, that's it, the strike zone...'
... (read in full...)
Can women determine genital size just by looking at a guy??
Q. Can women tell if you are well endowed just by looking at you or a part of you? Or what are some things women look at on a guy to try and guess what size a guy is?...
A. 26 July 2010: Is this like how men look at a woman's bust and try to guess what size she is? "She's a B cup!" "Nah, man, she's at least a D cup!"
So, then, some girls might be very into looking at a guy's crotch and making value judgements as to his wort... (read in full...)
Should I not be interested in a man who is trying to break up with me?
Q. Hi I'm very confused and hope some of you can help by offering an outside perspective. I've been seeing a man for a year now. He's absolutely great - lovely, kind, sweet, intelligent, caring, sexy handsome, great job, generous. He's not perfect ...
A. 26 July 2010: Let him go. He's looking for reasons to break up; you are now just prolonging the inevitable. I think he's trying to make this very painless for you, to his credit. It was going to happen sooner or later, it's sooner than you expected, is all. ... (read in full...)
I have an attraction with the other woman...
Q. I recently met a woman who I started dating. I was rather unimpressed with her so over weight and that she was not really a good looking person. We have no plans to extend this into a relationship as we agreed that we were just dating. I do like her ...
A. 26 July 2010: Oh good grief. Here I am betraying my half of our species, going against the woman-code. Blame Q.
Describe for me please how close a friendship they have. And tell us when the last sexual encounter with the date occurred?... (read in full...)
How can I change her mind? My wife has unexpectedly said she wants a divorce!
Q. My wife and I have been married for four years. I thought these were happy times for her, because we had just recently purchased a house together. I am attending school again, and working. We both are making good money and everything is was good. ...
A. 26 July 2010: So did you actually talk to someone about the 'ducks'? Or was your comment more meant to keep me from asking more? What concrete steps have you taken to protect your interests, financially?... (read in full...)
She became distance and wouldn't even hug me everytime we tried to rebuild our relationship. I still want a future with her
Q. I need help. I dated my girlfriend for a year and a half, and it didn't take me that long to realize she was the one. On top of that, she would always talk about "when we got married" and how I was "too good to be true." Needless to say, she was ...
A. 26 July 2010: I'm sorry, I misread your followup. You don't think she is getting the help she needs. That's worrying and very discouraging. You have to consider that this isn't about you failing as a boyfriend or good friend--this is a about her and her mental ... (read in full...)
My wife was a prostitute, but she's mad at me for confronting her.
Q. I've posted here before about the agony of my wife running away at the age of 14 and having sex with strangers on the way or while she was there, she was somewhat shortcoming of the details. After a certain coincidental set of circumstances, I...
A. 26 July 2010: Is there some reason you haven't sought professional counseling? Because this is beyond us ordinary little amateur aunts. You're going to have good days and bad days. The facts of her life remain. The fact that you are having trouble coping remains. ... (read in full...)
She became distance and wouldn't even hug me everytime we tried to rebuild our relationship. I still want a future with her
Q. I need help. I dated my girlfriend for a year and a half, and it didn't take me that long to realize she was the one. On top of that, she would always talk about "when we got married" and how I was "too good to be true." Needless to say, she was ...
A. 26 July 2010: Well, if she's getting help and still has trouble, I think this is beyond your skills, well-meaning though they are. I'd let her get herself together, trying to force a relationship on her isn't actually the best thing for her.
I'd advise you to g... (read in full...)
My ex is trying to take my daughter!
Q. So I have an ex that was emotionally abusive and still is to this day. It's been since July of 2008 that we have broken up and have a 3 yr old daughter. After we broke up he turned into a rage freak, threatened me, harassed me, etc. I had to get dcf ...
A. 26 July 2010: Please see an attorney for some legal advice. We're not legal experts here and you wouldn't want to lose your daughter by following someone's well-intentioned but wrong advice, now would you? Good luck.... (read in full...)
What does "I love you but I don't want you back" mean???
Q. I spoke with my ex and she has told me two things as she spoke in riddles and I want to know what does she mean by. "I love you but I don't want you back"? and "I love speaking with you as youve done alot for me but I don't want to see y...
A. 26 July 2010: I think it means she cared about you and still does wish you happiness, but she doesn't have any interest in being your girlfriend. I would give this up as a lost cause. She's trying to be nice, but she is done with you. Sorry.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't do anything new in bed!
Q. Can you help me my girlfriend doesn't do anything in bed that we plan to try for fun yet will bite my head off if I ask why I could understand if she was nervous because she hadn't done it before but guess what her exs got to do it all with her ...
A. 26 July 2010: Hi there, it sounds as though you are really struggling in your sex life. "my girlfriend doesn't do anything in bed that we plan to try for fun yet will bite my head off if I ask why" So you have talked about things and have agreed to do them and ... (read in full...)
What does a women look for in a man?
Q. What is one of the first things or characteristics a women sees when looking at a man for the first time(potential boyfriend)?...
A. 25 July 2010: I can tell you the things that have put me off men.
Arrogance. Smelling bad (yes, I'm that shallow). Being physically unhealthy or extreme (obese or overly muscular). Underconfidence (yes, difficult balance between arrogance and this). Loner stat... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's dad died a while ago... how can I get him to talk?
Q. My boyfriend's father committed suicide two years ago. I know the story of how and why.. but I want to know more about him. Like what he was like when he was around and their relationship. But I don't know how to get him to open up and talk about ...
A. 25 July 2010: I would let it go. You could say something like this, "if you ever want to talk about your Dad, I'm here to listen, but it's entirely up to you. I'm here for you whatever you need."
Trying to get him to talk about such a painful thing may not be a... (read in full...)
She became distance and wouldn't even hug me everytime we tried to rebuild our relationship. I still want a future with her
Q. I need help. I dated my girlfriend for a year and a half, and it didn't take me that long to realize she was the one. On top of that, she would always talk about "when we got married" and how I was "too good to be true." Needless to say, she was ...
A. 25 July 2010: She sounds like a confused soul, honestly. I think if I were you, I'd probably just let her reach some sort of equilibrium, make sure she was getting help for her depression and then think about dating her after she had had some professional help. ... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend said eeeew referring to me in a bikini. Do I confront him?
Q. Well, me and my best fried were swimming and having a wonderful time, when my boyfriend texts me I get her phone, because mine was practically dead, and when I get her phone she gets a text message from her boyfriend and he is talking about me, I go ...
A. 25 July 2010: I want to add that I completely agree with Honeypie's answer. She reminded me of the fact that he is your ex and chose to date your best friend. Neither are very considerate of your feelings.... (read in full...)
My partner can't satisfy my sexual needs, but everything else is good. Is it a deal breaker
Q. Ok , if u were n a relationship and everything Is good except for the sex, and u even expressed to ur partner Tht ur not happy sexual and even tried to explore new ways wit Ur partner 2 try 2 make it work but they jus can't satisfy u Sex...
A. 25 July 2010: If sex was an important thing to me, then it would be a deal-breaker. Imagine 60 years with the partner, the amount of resentment that would build up would be intolerable.
Alas, not everyone is compatible.... (read in full...)
Everyone is rude to me!
Q. I live in the Greensboro/High Point area of North Carolina, and I've gotten to the point where I can't stand it. People here are obscenely rude to me on a regular basis, and I don't tolerate it. It happens to me several times a day! For exampl...
A. 25 July 2010: Oh wait, there was this other time, when another driver tried to pull in front of me at a very long line at a toll booth (I was on my way down to NC) and I was SO annoyed at him. But I looked in the rearview and thought, oh well, this guy doesn't ... (read in full...)
Everyone is rude to me!
Q. I live in the Greensboro/High Point area of North Carolina, and I've gotten to the point where I can't stand it. People here are obscenely rude to me on a regular basis, and I don't tolerate it. It happens to me several times a day! For exampl...
A. 25 July 2010: I love NC. I have wonderful experiences there and enjoy my visits whenever I go. That being said....
I had a flat tire incident in Cincinnati, OH. This guy drove alongside me for a mile or two, waved at me until I realized he was telling me ther... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 25 July 2010: "what if the partner lies before marriage about sexual past?" Good question! What if that happens? What should the question be back to the one who lied?
"Why is it we always come up excuse that they must have had a good reason for lien to there part... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 25 July 2010: Just to add to the original article, when I first read posts about people troubled by their partners' sexual pasts, I had the same initial reaction as many people. That is "get over it, that was long ago and doesn't have any bearing on your ... (read in full...)
I finally get to ask her out... and she says no!
Q. Hey I'm 13-14 years old and there is this really cute girl in my class and she has broken up with her boyfriend a month or two back and I've already asked her to go out but she said no and she just wants to be friends I've liked her since mid ye...
A. 25 July 2010: You have to respect her 'no' answer. To keep asking her out now will only make her dislike you.
I think your best strategy is to get her friends to see you as very date-able. Win over her friends and you stand a chance. ... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend said eeeew referring to me in a bikini. Do I confront him?
Q. Well, me and my best fried were swimming and having a wonderful time, when my boyfriend texts me I get her phone, because mine was practically dead, and when I get her phone she gets a text message from her boyfriend and he is talking about me, I go ...
A. 25 July 2010: And just to think this through a little further, if you're still in love with the ex, don't you think confronting him about his stupid comment will only make you look like a snoop (for going through your friend's phone), insecure (for doubting that ... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend said eeeew referring to me in a bikini. Do I confront him?
Q. Well, me and my best fried were swimming and having a wonderful time, when my boyfriend texts me I get her phone, because mine was practically dead, and when I get her phone she gets a text message from her boyfriend and he is talking about me, I go ...
A. 25 July 2010: But you can still hang out with her and have a wonderful time? Gosh, I would have probably kept my distance then, she doesn't sound like she actually fits the definition of a best friend to me.
I think I'd ignore the ex and the bestie for being so i... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend said eeeew referring to me in a bikini. Do I confront him?
Q. Well, me and my best fried were swimming and having a wonderful time, when my boyfriend texts me I get her phone, because mine was practically dead, and when I get her phone she gets a text message from her boyfriend and he is talking about me, I go ...
A. 25 July 2010: How old are you exactly? This is sounding more like the early teens than later ones.
If you are still in love with him, why do you have a boyfriend and why is your bestie dating your ex?... (read in full...)
My wife was a prostitute, but she's mad at me for confronting her.
Q. I've posted here before about the agony of my wife running away at the age of 14 and having sex with strangers on the way or while she was there, she was somewhat shortcoming of the details. After a certain coincidental set of circumstances, I...
A. 19 July 2010:
Either we work it out or we split up. I can't continue to go through the days to come with this consuming my life.
--
Are you her advocate or her adversary?
Quick answer, don't think too much. Advocate for her? On her side? Yes? No?
... (read in full...)
My wife was a prostitute, but she's mad at me for confronting her.
Q. I've posted here before about the agony of my wife running away at the age of 14 and having sex with strangers on the way or while she was there, she was somewhat shortcoming of the details. After a certain coincidental set of circumstances, I...
A. 19 July 2010: What would I do? I'd freak out, probably, and then try to find some compassion for a raped, abused, sad and unhappy 14 year old.
You're going to have to find your own closure. She's had enough. She's the primary victim. You're the secondary vict... (read in full...)
How can I change her mind? My wife has unexpectedly said she wants a divorce!
Q. My wife and I have been married for four years. I thought these were happy times for her, because we had just recently purchased a house together. I am attending school again, and working. We both are making good money and everything is was good. ...
A. 13 July 2010: Thank you for the update. How are those ducks?... (read in full...)
How can I change her mind? My wife has unexpectedly said she wants a divorce!
Q. My wife and I have been married for four years. I thought these were happy times for her, because we had just recently purchased a house together. I am attending school again, and working. We both are making good money and everything is was good. ...
A. 7 July 2010: It occurred to me that she might be keeping tabs on you through other people and knows more about your state of mind than you think. If you've been open about your feelings of desperation, then she knows you're still off balance from this.
I want... (read in full...)
How can I change her mind? My wife has unexpectedly said she wants a divorce!
Q. My wife and I have been married for four years. I thought these were happy times for her, because we had just recently purchased a house together. I am attending school again, and working. We both are making good money and everything is was good. ...
A. 7 July 2010: My husband says I'm a lateral thinker. Whatever that means. But I just started wondering about mutual friends. Who were her friends here in the US, are you talking to them and are they in contact with her?
I'm sorry, the fact that she's gone home... (read in full...)
How can I change her mind? My wife has unexpectedly said she wants a divorce!
Q. My wife and I have been married for four years. I thought these were happy times for her, because we had just recently purchased a house together. I am attending school again, and working. We both are making good money and everything is was good. ...
A. 6 July 2010: I know I'm late to this discussion, but have you seen a divorce lawyer yet?There's a lot of things that could sneak up and surprise you financially. I'd go just to develop a strategy to maintain the best financial outcome for you. Plan for the ... (read in full...)
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