A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I feel like I'm being discriminated against at work but it's the restaurant owner! I messed up in the past and felt VERY lucky to have gotten the job I did. Right after my arrest, I applied for every job I could and landed a job as a barrista in a local-owned coffee shop. It's less than a year old and mostly family members. A classmate let me use him as a reference. It's owned worker, his wife, R.A. their daughter M.B. and her husband K. I answered honestly that I had NOT been convicted of a felony. I had in fact LATER been convicted of a misdemeanor. AFTER I was hired. I put on there that I knew my reference for a year because I had: he has ended up in at least one class with me each semester.That's important because for the first three months I thought everything was fine until they pulled me into the office and asked about my conviction. I had been given two years probation and NONE of my court dates or probation meetings interfere with work. Apparently, "someone" had come in and told them how nice it was for them to give me a chance. They refused to say who and I found out it was my sister! I tried confronting her but our parents immediately took her side and told me that she had every reason to assume they knew and that I had basically misrepresented myself on the application.K (the one who pulled me into the office) basically let me know that I was on VERY thin ice but since I had TECHNICALLY not lied they couldn't do much. He also told me that they were under the impression I knew reference well. So then I was being watched extra carefully and being called out for anything. I lost count how many times I've been pulled into the office for talking too much, being "too friendly" with male customers, changing my gloves too much and so on. I do great with barrista work but for some reason struggle with speed in the kitchen. I'm being put there more and more often though, almost like they're looking for a reason to fire me.Ever since being admonished again for talking too much and being too friendly with males, I just bit my tongue and ONLY talked when necessary. I laughed at something a co worker said to me (we were alone in the kitchen) and I said, "yeah, really". (Was I supposed to snub my co worker?) I was immediately pulled into the office and told to stop talking so much and that was my "final warning of the day". Ever since, I have ONLY been put in the kitchen, down the basement doing inventory or cleaning.Today, I was pulled into the office because my Bible reading during my lunch break was making people uncomfortable. I've been doing that since I worked there! I don't take up anymore space than anyone else and it's during BREAK. I'm not reading aloud or dragging people into discussion. CUSTOMERS hold their own Bible discussion and no one says boo! Of course, in order to protect the person complaining they refuse to tell me who complained. Apparently it's more than one person. I was told my reading made me look unapproachable and gave an impression of the business they didn't want. I don't know what to do!Obviously look for a new job but this one definitely wouldn't give me a good reference and before that I always did babysitting, dog sitting, housekeeping and I've asked: no one feels comfortable giving me a reference. Even my family says they wouldn't hire me either! I'm trying to go through temp agencies but no one will bite!Am I totally wrong here?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2016): I am going to respond to your post backwards:You know you will not get any support or good references from your family or the people you helped out. More disturbingly, they seem almost gleeful to see you suffering so much. Sounds like they could use your bible and read about how Saul went from the nastiest men in the bible to become Paul, one of the greatest men. Might teach them something about second chances!And on that note, asking you to put away your bible when you're reading it off the clock makes no sense! When you are off the clock you're essentially a customer! If you're not preventing anyone from minding their own business what business is it of theirs? Also, why complain that it makes you unapproachable if they also think you're over friendly? You said you barely talk and even two words is too much for them? Purposely taking you away from where you were good and putting you where you struggle? Sounds like they want you to fail.Also, telling you you "technically" didn't lie so they "couldn't do anything" and in the same breath said they were "under the impression" you knew your reference well? Wow. Just wow.Please, listen to YouWish and HoneyPie and ALSO talk to your PO. Could he/she give you good reference? What about your drug/alcohol counselor if you have one? What about AA supports? Do you go there still? They don't have to identify themselves as AA. AND your PO will probably have plenty of advice on helping you rebuild trust in yourself and write a letter of explanation. This is where you explain what you are doing to REMEDY your mistakes.Good luck to you
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (28 June 2016):
 I think YouWish gave excellent advice and I hope you follow it.
DOCUMENT all the little digs at you at work.
Look out for the various programs you might be able to use to find a new job. Keep looking WHILE keeping your head down at your current job.
These link might give you a little info to help you:
http://ctlawhelp.org/criminal-record-keeping-you-from-working
http://www.snagajob.com/resources/i-have-a-conviction-on-my-record-will-anyone-ever-hire-me/
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 June 2016):
 Families get pretty screwed up over not allowing someone to turn their lives around. They're there to remind people of the mess they've made of their lives in the past, especially if some of that was you stealing from them (a lot of drug addicts burn bridges with their families by stealing money or pills or stuff to feed their habit).
Your sister was in the wrong to discuss your criminal record with anyone. If she's younger than you and a minor, you should have gone to your parents first and then confronted her. If she's older than you, your parents needed to butt out because it was between you and her. Why would she even do that anyways?! Revealing a criminal record is like talking about your medical record. It's nobody's business.
Employers run their own background checks on people, and misdemeanors do show up. They will affect your record if they have to do with retail issues such as petty theft or assault or DUI. The older they are, the less important they are to employers.
You just need to be patient, keep your head down, ask your employer about how to best do your job. Don't get any attitude, and if they have issues about you talking to males, then don't talk to them!
Have you been written up by your employer?? If their application asks whether or not you've been convicted of a felony, you don't have to reveal that you've been convicted of a misdemeanor. You didn't lie to them.
Document everything. If you're wanting a good recommendation, then find something other than the bible to read on your lunch break. Either that, or get an audio version and listen to it on headphones. Getting into a legal battle with your employer will not get their recommendation.
They're trying to make it hard for you and make you want to quit your job. Unless they're writing you up and citing you for handbook infractions, they can't do anything that you can't take recourse for.
You screwed up. You got arrested. You're paying your debt to society. Go to your state and find out what services they offer for helping with jobs and careers. You're an adult, and many services are for felons who wish to turn their lives around. Many offer advanced education as well. Other places such as career centers will connect you with job fairs and employers looking for people. Be patient and don't screw up your life again! A misdemeanor is not forever.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2016): I got an OVI (operating a vehicle while intoxicated). I blew a 0.19. I didn't lie on the application and no one got hurt. But because my sister opened her mouth she brought it to their attention. I was sentenced about a month ago but the online record states my ARREST date so it LOOKS like I lied. It wasn't stealing and I haven't drank since so I don't know why it matters!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (28 June 2016):
 You're not wrong, but this happens when you make a bad decision and get arrested - it follows you for quite some time and this is still very recent. It's hard for people to trust you, right now.Keep looking for another job and *always* be upfront about the conviction - was it pretty bad?You seem to be hard-working, so you just have to put up with it until you can get something else or quit and flounder a little until you can get something else. See what jobs other people in your situation get.
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