A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I met my bf almost a year and a half ago and we imediately hit it off great. Then I weighed about 150lbs. The first 4 months were great and he was so caring and attentive always surprising me with my favorite snacks or ice cream and taking me out to eat. It wasn't long before I realized from all this that I'd put on 20lbs. I told him I'd gotten fat and was going to try and lose weight. He tried to discourage me and said I looked perfect and had nothing to worry about but I tried anyways. Within a couple months I was able to drop 10lbs. During this time he became very mopey and depressed but wouldn't tell me what was wrong. Eventually I got him to tell me and he said he has a fat fetish. He said he finds it a huge turn on when I gain weight and finds bigger women attractive. We talked about it a little bit more and eventually I asked him if he wanted me to gain weight. He said yes and convinced me to gain back the 10lbs. When I reached that goal, he asked if I would gain 20 more lbs. He said it would make him go crazy for me and I eventually caved and thought it couldn't hurt all I have to do is eat. So I agreed and after that he started getting me to eat way past when I was full at each meal. It got to the point I could eat way more at each meal than before. To gain weight I also started eating constantly all day. On top of this we would sometimes wake up at night for me to eat as much ice cream as I could. I was eating a rediculous amount of food and before you knew it I was 190lbs. I felt heavy and looked heavy but he made me feel gorgeous and sexy despite my weight so I didn't think much of it. He didn't ask me to gain any more weight but it turned out he didn't have to...I had developed so many bad eating habits and so after that everything just continued and I kept gaining. I have just started really realize how big I've gotten because honestly it's getting hard to walk far distances a d I ra do my weighed myself and was astonished to learn I'm 100lbs heavier than when I met him weighing 250. I don't like how I feel when I'm walking or doing anything really because of how jiggly I am so he generally offers to do everything for me and let's me just sit and rest or sleep or watch tv while I eat. Because of this excercize is almost impossible and embarressing. I talked to him about it but he wants me to keep gaining more?!?! Should I just keep going because if I don't think about it then it doesn't bother me and we are happy? Im hoping I can just like being fat or something.
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female
reader, advice_giverF4T  +, writes (4 December 2017):
I rekon do it.. just a little bit longer. If you are entirely uncomfortable, tell him. I personally like gaining, but only advise people to do it if they want to do itWith love,Trolla Hacker
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2017): In a relationship it is about you and if you want to keep gaining you can but if you don't want to tell you don't or tell him you like a chunky man and get him to gain
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2016): Lose the weight and while you're at it, lose the guy, too.
That's my best advice.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 June 2016):
 His fetish is not just getting with a fat woman. It's the process of fattening someone up. The more weight gain, the more better for him. Fetishes are not all equal. Some are fun and harmless, others are dangerous and gross. The most extreme of it involves cutting someone up, or having sex with a corpse. Some people can only be aroused with the scent of feces. Love is not going to make someone enjoy a fetish if you don't feel it.
It will only work if you have a fetish in which you feel very happy and sexy with being fat, but you don't sound like it because you have to convince yourself. Sure some people don't stop when they are over 600 pounds and proud of it. You don't want to get there. It's only normal that we don't want to be fat. Some animals like walruses and sea lions are naturally fat to insulate themselves from icy water. Humans are not supposed to be fat. You get really bad body odor. People with weird fetishes that interfere with real lives have issues and are pathologically selfish. It will be stupid to sacrifice your health to make someone happy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2016): This is abuse, plain and simple. STOP now...he's controlling and manipulating you. Honestly, sounds like an animal being readied for slaughter.
Secondly, think of your health and all the harm this extra weight is going to bring to you.
This man is abusive and will not stop, please extricate yourself from the situation ASAP.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2016): You don't want to fall prey to an eating disorder. Disorder a cake. Disorder a pie. Disorder a pizza.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (24 June 2016):
 Stop it - stop it now!Break up with him; I mean it!Look, OP, I'm overweight due to a medical condition and the result of my entire childhood being abusive at school and home. Don't *ever* gain weight for anyone else - it's easy to gain and hard to lose, once you get to a certain point. I've been desperately trying to lose some for *years* - it's not something you go into willingly, especially not for someone else. I have been desperate for it to have been a choice, so that I could have not done it - don't choose to make yourself worse; you'll live with it for years.Please dump the guy, see your doctor and get back to a healthy lifestyle. This isn't about losing loads of weight; this is about being healthier.He's controlling you and feeding you up, disregarding your health. That's not a good boyfriend - he needs to go for someone already overweight; even then, there are people like him who just keep feeding their partner until they are 300lbs - 400lbs. They don't care that the person is no longer healthy and they often like that the person is only happy with themselves while they are with them; when they break up, the reality of the weight hits them and their self-confidence plummets.Please save yourself from it now, OP. Do not stay with this guy.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (24 June 2016):
 I'm fully with YouWish.
He may have a fat fetish, but it's about control. CONTROL over you. CONTROL over your body.
Don't ruin your health like this to please a guy. Losing over 100 lbs in a few months? VERY VERY unhealthy. Gaining weight fast too? VERY bad for you.
To quote YouWish..
"You will now learn that you don't go to any length to make some guy happy; while he's methodically destroying your self-esteem, ruining your health, and hoping you're less attractive to other men. Yes, all of the above!"
The older you get the harder it will be not only to leave this guy, but to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
All of it doesn't make me think he LOVES you. It makes me thin he loves HIMSELF, HIS needs, HIS wants, and toe whole control factor.
What do you think will happen when you get diabetes and needs either a pump attached or to inject yourself with insulin?
What happens when you can't walk without having to stop every 50 steps? Can't work? Can't join others in fun stuff? All you can do is waddle or sit?
Come on, girl. PUT yourself first.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 June 2016):
 If you look around for fat fetish sites, you’ll see that guys with a fat fetish are well, rather common. It’s not new territory at all.
That being said, if you look around for men who put their beloved’s health and well-being ahead of their penises, well, it appears you aren’t familiar with that type of man. And they are out there, in droves.
You can’t walk very far, you’re 250. Didn’t your doctor notice? Your mom? Your dad? Your family? Based on this post, you’ve been consuming somewhere in the order of 1000 calories extra each day just to reach that “goal.”
I guess the real question for you is are you are fully committed to dying younger just so your dime-a-dozen fat fetish boyfriend--- oops, I meant, super special boyfriend who cares more about your health and wellbeing than his, wait, no, wrong boyfriend, I meant the common fat fetish boyfriend, apologies---- can get his rocks off from time to time? Is that your personal life goal? Is that your highest aspiration?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 June 2016):
 If he really had a thing for weight and obese women, he would have looked for a woman who already was heavy. This isn't about a fetish. It's about control. Every pound you have gained is another link in the chain he's putting on you.
THink about it. When you met him, you were at an optimum weight, meaning you were desirable to a lot of men, and were healthy enough to enjoy life, move around, and had lots of options all across the board.
By becoming heavy, he is isolating you from competition that are NOT turned on by such unhealthy weight gain. He's also impaired you from becoming financially independent, because while overweight women get jobs all the time, they are, unfortunately, discriminated against when it comes to jobs where image is everything, thus cutting you off from competition AND being self-sufficient.
He wants you dependent on him. That's why he wants you in prison on the chair and feeling bad for getting healthy again.
You better hurry and get healthy before the destruction you're doing to yourself becomes permanent, like stretched skin, diabetes, osteoarthritis, and a host of other things.
This isn't a fetish for fat. It's one for control and mutilation.
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A
male
reader, devont +, writes (24 June 2016):
 I'm no expert on fat fetishes, but from what I understand, one of the main parts of it is enjoying the actual process of weight gain and watching someone overeat, not just being attracted to people that are fat. My point is, you could put on 300lb and he would still want you to put on more - it is likely he would rather you put on weight consistently rather than got to a certain point and stopped. Which means you will be putting your health more and more at risk to please him. This isn't like a rubber fetish - you can't take the suit off when you don't want to wear it anymore! I recently went on a first aid course and the first thing they said was, look after YOU first. In a first aid context it meant that you can't help someone else if you get hurt yourself. With relationships, it is so hard to love someone if you don't love yourself. Think about you. Think about yourself outside of this relationship, because you might come out the other side with regret. For health reasons, I would suggest to try and lose weight, to a point where you feel comfortable and healthy. Where you can run around the park with your dog or go for a swim in the sea and not feel exhausted. What about your boyfriend in all of this? Well, you need to have a talk with him. You need to explain that you want to lose weight and you expect him to be supportive. He might find it hard at first, but he liked you before when you were lighter, why not again? And if he can't accept it, then you need to stop and reassess the relationship, because either way one of you will be unhappy. All the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2016): You're merely 18, or just under 21. Apparently mama never told you that you don't go to such extremes to please some guy with his head on backwards. You're feeling worse by the day, and eventually this is going to adversely effect your health. It's fortunate you're so young.
So my dear, what's the plan if boyfriend just decides to up and dump you? Leaving you pounds heavier, with bad eating habits, and extra weight that's hard to loose?
Sweetheart, you've gone far beyond foolish at this point. You're laboring to please him. He's into weird sh*t, and everything comes at your expense.
This is going to be a major learning experience for you.
You will now learn that you don't go to any length to make some guy happy; while he's methodically destroying your self-esteem, ruining your health, and hoping you're less attractive to other men. Yes, all of the above!
I recommend you go back on a diet to lose the weight. Be your own woman. He either loves you for who you are, or you find someone who will. You've either ignored the advice of those who truly love you, or you're driven to please other people at any cost. I'm sure family and friends have noticed the change and are concerned for you. Most of all, you're now concerned enough to write a group of strangers; when you now all the answers already.
Dump the boyfriend. Use your brain and stop allowing your heart to make bad decisions for you. He's turning you into his over-blown blow-up doll; and you're no happier for doing it.
Find a nutritionist and get yourself back into good eating habits, get a thorough medical examination to determine what damage has been done; since you've mentioned how you can only walk for short distances. Your health is at stake here; so take all the advice you will be given seriously.
My heart goes out to you, my dear. You are capable of giving love at any cost. But it should never cost you your health and happiness. Always see yourself as any man's equal. Don't place his needs and desires above your own, or push yourself to lengths that do you damage. There are things that others have no right to ask of you, and you should have enough common-sense to set some boundaries.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 June 2016):
 This was, as you already know, a bad idea. It's like asking you to start smoking because he finds it sexy. But you are the one ruining your body and your health for his sake. You need to stop putting men at the center of your life. They do not deserve that place. YOU need to put YOURSELF first, always!
Your life is about YOU. Has he married you? NO. Then be assured, he can one day just walk out of that door, and he will NOT be taking your fat with him. That fat, and all those bad habits, will stay with YOU and it will be for you to struggle with for the rest of your life.
You are still young. Change your life. It is NOT ALL ABOUT MEN. It's about YOU and putting yourself first. No man is worth you sacrificing your health, body, self esteem or any dream you might have. You are not happy with yourself, and he is blocking your happiness. He's not there loving YOU, he is there loving you being fat and the fact that he can control when you eat and how much you move. If he truly loved you, he wouldn't have encouraged you to gain all this weight and develop such bad habits like eating all you can and eating in the middle of the night etc. Why can't he just go out and find a woman already fat, and leave you so you can find a man who actually loves YOU, the person, and not just the extra kilos?
Really, you are young and naive, and I was too when I was your age, and I also gave up dreams and made sacrifices for the man I was with, thinking it was normal, thinking it was what I had to do for "love". Turns out, this isn't love at all. This isn't what love is like. This is something entirely different, this is a fetish of his, not love. When you grow older and get more experience in what it means to have someone love you, you will know that everything they want is for you to be happy... a person who loved you would never ask you to risk your health and develop bad habits.
You need to put yourself before him!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 June 2016):
 Re-read your submittal 3 times.
After that, ask yourself if you would chain-smoke cigarettes all day, if he asked you to do so....
This guy has a sinister way of abusing you... and you've fallen for it....
Please consider to make a break from him, and never look back....
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (24 June 2016):
People gain weight all the time because of bad habits, medical reasons, and mom's to be. In fact, a nice rose plump mom to be is blessed sight. :)
Gaining 100 lbs to please a man??? Screw it...Gaining weight to please anyone... is foolish. Sorry.
The very fact that you are here bringing this problem to others says one thing...You know to yourself it is wrong.
Doing wrong things to please other people, to please even yourself...is foolish.
See...so many women are fighting to stop men from abusing them...very hard to fight for those who purposely abusing themselves, for what the call love.
If you love you, then this should never happen. Love yourself before you love any man.
Ask yourself this...You know the health problems that comes with being too overweight. IF...something was to happen to you, and it cause a long term health issue. Do you really think your boyfriend is going to stick around for years and wait for you to get better??? NOPE !!!
Also...note something VERY important... your boyfriend said...
"He said he finds it a huge turn on when I gain weight and finds bigger women attractive."
He finds bigger WOMEN attractive...Note...WOMEN!!! So you are not the only big woman he is attracted too. So you could gain all this weight to please him, and someday...oops...I found someone else. Now you are left alone with all that weight, and for what?? A man?
Then you are single, and now you are complaining that no man wants you, because you are to big. Yourself esteem goes down hill, you feel like crap, and why?? Because you thought you love this guys so much, you were will to screw up your life for him.
LOVE my dear melts your heart...not your brain.
Think wisely.
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