A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel restricted by society. As a male I am told to be confident. But when I walk with my head held high, with chest out I am judged and labeled arrogant. Told that if I am submissive women will not like me. Then when I assert myself (in general)I am labeled aggressive and thrown in prison. I often don't like taking orders because people are rude and don't know how to ask me instead they order me. A simple can you instead of barking orders at me goes a long way with me. I don't mind being asked to do something, but its how you ask that makes all the difference. Everyone seems power-hungry in the workplace and often as the new guy I seem to be the easy target. I keep to myself, don't talk much, and am respectful but this often is misinterpreted as weakness. I sometimes wish I was as cunning and socially resourceful as some of my peers when it comes to confrontation in the work place. Unfortunately all I know is violence. I feel like an animal that is cornered and I don't want to bite because I will get punished/fired. How do I tell people off without being punished? No matter how aggressive and antisocial I look people want to test my boundaries. I just want to be left alone to work ( I am a very hard worker by the way). I wish violence without killing each other was okay in society maybe then everyone would fall into their place including myself. Like how two dogs assert dominance and the loser retreats. I feel this is the true way of nature. I feel that is why man kind has so some many conflicts because we don't have a hard earned feral way of establishing hierarchy.
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (31 May 2016):
I have been labeled as confident, arrogant, and aggressive by many others before. That said, I have never been thrown into prison, I have successfully worked for many different bosses, and have successfully managed dozens of other people.
To be blunt, your post sounds like the musings of a very immature and childish person who is upset when they cannot do whatever they want, including hitting others when the fancy strikes them. And God forbid anyone asks you to do something in a manner that you dont find acceptable.
News flash - you are not special. You are just another person in a much larger society. You need to stop being a whiny five year old when you dont get your way and get with the program.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (12 May 2016):
 You're not an animal. We live in civilization with laws against assault and battery. Being assertive or aggressive doesn't mean to get your fists out and do damage.
There's also a chain of command in the workforce, and you answer to bosses unless you start your own company. Then, it's 1000 times worse because then you answer to your target customers, and assaulting THEM when they get rude will put you and those you love out on the street.
If you're a hard worker and you're competent, you won't get fired. People try their games and get threatened by people who are on a fast track. You're mixing the professional world with the law of the jungle.
I've known a couple of people like you. One was in MMA and when he always came to the office, he always had fresh bruises. Once, he sounded almost brokenhearted at the idea of always getting challenged no matter where he was, that when people knew what he did (as a hobby), they wanted to fight him even during down times. That primal urge was in him and it's in you. You need a positive avenue to let it out.
I would suggest you take up fighting and strength training as a hobby. Not like beating people up in the street, but boxing or MMA or some other martial art to pull out that aggression AND give you some much-needed discipline so you can operate on an even keel in your workplace. Your steam would be vented, and you won't get so upset about the attitude of others.
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