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... Send *endyg a private message | | | *endyg's profile:I'm a 33 year old Business Analyst, in Hertfordshire.
I live in herts along with my Lovely Staffordshire bull terrier Archie and two lully cats! Rosie and Umbro!
Anyway, I stumbled across this site a couple of years back now and became addicted straight away! Anyway my friends used to always tell me that I gave good advice and I am a good listener.
I guess I try to put myself in other peoples situations and its easier looking in when your not directly involved. So anyway I gave this a shot, and here I am, I have had lots of positive feedback from people who have posted questions and I have done my best to advise, so I must be doing something right!
If I only make one person's life better with the advice I give then its worth it!
I like to make people happy and help if I can. I will go that extra mile if it will make someone smile!
x x
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Is our strange relationship going to be harmful to our kids?
Q. Need some opinions...trying to decide if I should move on or hang on... My ex-husband and I got married about 10 years ago when I found out I was pregnant. We were not in love, but felt a strong commitment to our child. We did fall in love and he ...
A. 13 June 2005: I dont see that it will harm the children, they will need to have input from both parents as they grow up. If you live apart, that not strange this day and age. If you can keep thigns positive when the children are around then there shouldnt be a ... (read in full...)
Will it spoil our friendship if I make a move on my friend?
Q. I'm only 16 but I have been best friends with a guy for almost two years now. In the past we have dated off and on about three times. Currently we are just friends, but I think I want more. I don't want to ruin our friendship either, however ...
A. 13 June 2005: Maybe casually ask him on a date and see what happens, if you are as close friends as you say you are then there shouldnt be a problem. If you keep it lighthearted, it will be okay whatever is answer, just keep it like friends, but see if you can ... (read in full...)
Since our marriage problems, he's left for Mexico for some time alone. Should I go see him?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm 18 years old and I got married a year ago to a man who's 26. I was so in love with him and I know he was too. Later in our relationship I started arguing a lot for no good reason. Some stuff happend between me and him and we decid...
A. 13 June 2005: I think before deciding to go over to Mexico you need to talk to him first. It sounds as though he as already walked out you! It wouldnt be fair to trapse all the way over there when he left like that, he probably thought it would be best all ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and stuck with a guy I don't love anymore, but can't seem to leave...
Q. Hi, I moved just before my sixteenth birthday to different part of the country. Not knowing anyone I met a guy. he was engaged but apparently broke up with his girlfriend. I fell madly deeply in love with him. I fell out with my parents and ende...
A. 13 June 2005: You need to be strong and leave and never look back. Go back to your family, they will be able to help you. The reason you are having trouble with leaving him is that you feel that he is your security and thats all you have known, you feel that ... (read in full...)
Everything was fine between us for 3 months, then she dumped me and I was devastated.
Q. I used to have a girlfriend for almost 3 months. Everything was fine until she had her dancing shows. As I thought she would be tired I let her be. When I phoned her up we barely talked. She then dumped me and said that it wasn't working out. As I ...
A. 13 June 2005: Breaking up is never easy to do, no matter how old you are. When you love someone and they dont want to be with you anymore, your world feels like its going to end. I can sympathise with you as its happened to me a few times. But you need to get ... (read in full...)
Not happy in my marriage and my husband is overseas. Now I want to check out my old friend...
Q. I am married and he is overseas. I recently reconnected with an old guy friend and we have admitted to both having feelings for each other. We want to meet up to see what is there between us! What do I do? I am not really happy in my marriage ...
A. 13 June 2005: You need to finish with your husband first before you embark on something else. Why is that you are not happy in your marriage ? is it because your husband is overseas and you dont see as much of him as you would like ? You dont say why he is ... (read in full...)
I told her how I feel about her by text... but I don't understand her answers!
Q. I text a girl on my mobile asking her out by using a poem and I told her how i felt saying she was beautiful and stuff. she text me back saying it meant a lot to her but she doesn't want to risk our friendship because if we split she would get ...
A. 13 June 2005: It could be that she was trying to let you down gently, and would rather have your friendship than anything else, or it could also be that she does like you, but isnt ready for anything else yet, and because of this is too scared to try as she feels ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend what happened when I was passed out, or will he leave me for good if I do?
Q. My boyfriend told me he was thinking about breaking up with me. I love him so much and was devastated, so I went out to a party and I told myself since techincially he hadn't broken up yet not to do anything stupid. Well I got really intoxica...
A. 13 June 2005: Concentrate on things with your boyfriend. Try and block out what happend and put it down to expereince, a bad one that you were not in control of. Dont tell your boyfriend as this could only wreck things between you, you didnt want anything to ... (read in full...)
He's stopped being attentive to me and now he leers at other women! Am I overreacting?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend now for a year and we have been living together for most of that time. At first, he was really attentive and never looked at another woman. For the past few months now, though, he blatantly looks at other wo...
A. 13 June 2005: Some men cant help themselves. Its human nature for them to look at the opposite sex, checking her out and so on. So longs as its not acted upon then it is just harmless. Im thinking that because you have probly told your bf in the past thatyou ... (read in full...)
So hard to choose... I'm engaged to one bloke, in love with two!
Q. I am in love with 2 blokes and I am engaged to one. They want me to chose one of them but I can't. What should I do? ...
A. 11 June 2005: Lucky you! Well it appears that if you dont choose one of them you will end up with neither of them! Im guessing that you cheated on one of them to begin, which amounts to now cheating on both of them. I think that perhaps neither of them are ... (read in full...)
Why do I get so annoyed by my partner's ex-wife?
Q. I am a 23 year old female. My boyfriend is 31 and has a six year old daughter with his ex wife. Every Friday he drives 45 mins to drop his daughter off at her mum's and picks her up every Sunday. His ex texts him quite often asking him to do th...
A. 11 June 2005: You need to realise that he has a daughter and the daughter will always come first. His ex is the mother of that child and always will be. He wants to get along with the ex for the sake of his child. Its only natural that you should feel awkward ... (read in full...)
My online woman doesn't know I'm married, and my wife doesn't know I'm cheating...
Q. I embarked on an internet dating agency even though I am happily married. The problem is I have fallen head over heels with a lady I met. We have made love on numerous occations, then problem is I still love my wife but I also am deeply in love with ...
A. 11 June 2005: Lying does nothing but get you into trouble! You need to come clean I'm afraid! You say you were happily married ? Then why on earth did you go onto internet dating ? You need to realise that you can't have your cake and eat it. You need to ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my partner's teenage kids what I know about him?
Q. I have been with my partner for 8 years. Last year I found out that his first marriage ended because he had an affair with his mother-in-law. His two teenage children don't know about this and because of his guilt he lets them get away with awful ...
A. 11 June 2005: Unless you really want to come between the man and his children I wouldnt say a word. You really would be the ogre if you spilt the beans. Maybe have a chat with him and express your concerns over the matter, and that you find it really hard to ... (read in full...)
The sex seemed normal, but... what happened?
Q. Okay, I might be sounding a bit stupid here, but here goes anyway. I took my fiance on holiday last week, and as normal people do, we had sex. I have had a fair share of sexual partners in my life, but something odd happened that has never happen...
A. 11 June 2005: Yep that was an orgasm! The wetness you say you experienced isnt that strange, it is sometimes possible for a female to have a female ejaculation, not all woman do this in the same manner, but others can ejaculate almost like the male.. its not ... (read in full...)
My fiance cheated with a stripper and blamed me. Now he wants to try again. Should we?
Q. I am due to get married in August this year to my fiance/boyfriend of almost 8 years. Yet 7 weeks ago he was unfaithful with a stripper and was undecisive as to whether he wanted her or me. The reason for his straying (according to him) is that i ...
A. 10 June 2005: The least he could have done was to support you, not go out and sleep with someone else!! You so need to move on from him, you are coming to terms with the one of the hardest thing in life and thats losing a parent. You need to focus on you and ... (read in full...)
I'm suspicious of everyone, because I'm so afraid of getting hurt!
Q. I am so messed up in the head. I just don't know the difference between what's right and wrong or what's the truth or a lie. I don't even know if I can trust my good mates. I am always so suspicious around everyone. I just can't help it cause I am ...
A. 10 June 2005: Hi, We all hope that we will never get hurt in life, but sometimes the more we try not to get hurt, the more we are subceptable to being hurt. I think that you may feel better if you were to maybe speak to somebody proffesional about this. They ... (read in full...)
My sleeping with other guys is OK with my husband... but will that include his brother?
Q. Lemme give you some background. I am 32 and married 10 years to a 34 yr old wonderful man and we've enjoyed a great marriage and friendship. We have a open relationship. It's complicated. I can have sex with another man in our bedroom with the ...
A. 10 June 2005: Maybe his brother would be too close to home. You say you would never cheat on your husband.. well in a way in an open relationship, that is kinda what you do.. you both agree that you can sleep with other people, so i guess it depends its up to ... (read in full...)
Recently, he asked if we could have an open relationship and if he could sleep with our new flatmate...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months next week and living together for 8 months. Over the last few weeks he has been hot and cold and recently asked if he could sleep with our new flatmate or have an open relationship. I was hurt as ...
A. 10 June 2005: If your boyrfriend is suddenly asking if he can have sex with other woman, then I dont think he is as interested as you. It sounds as though you may have drifted apart a bit. Maybe hes got cold feet all of sudden, or simply wants his cake and eat ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want a relationship, but there are lots of other things that she wants!
Q. dear sir/madam How can I help my best friend who loves a girl deeply, but this girl does not want a relationship, but wants my best friend to pay her college fees and apartment for her, as well? And he agrees to help, but she doesnt want him to l...
A. 10 June 2005: You need to tell your friend that he is being used, and the girl is only after what she can get out of him. Unless its been agreed that they are just to be freinds and he is helping out a mate. If he is helping her because he thinks they will get ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be "best friends" after a breakup? How?
Q. My girlfriend of 2 years recently broke up with me and she still wants to keep me as her best friend. She is dating someone else and I still love her. What should I do?...
A. 9 June 2005: Yes you can remain friends, but i think you need to heal your heart first. Try to distance yourself from her to begin, until you can come to terms with the fact that you two are not longer together. In the begining you want to be her friend as you ... (read in full...)
Is it just me, or is he out of line checking out other girls?
Q. I just have something bothering me, and I'm not sure if I am over-reacting or not. I always catch my fiance checking out other girls. Is this something I need to just accept or should I be upset about it. I'm sure he wouldn't like it if I was ...
A. 9 June 2005: Its natural for men to look at other woman, they all do it. The thing you need to remember is that he is with you, he can look as much as he likes so longs he doesnt touch. It doesn mean he doesnt love you or fancy you, its just men being men and ... (read in full...)
She offered me a threesome, but I'd rather sleep with her one-on-one...
Q. Hi, I'm in a bit of an awkward situation. I'm a male guy who has a female friend who is going out with my mate, however tonight I was talking to her online and she asked me to have a threesome with her (she is bisexual) so I said to her I prefer ...
A. 9 June 2005: You would most definately lose your friend over this. And she obviously hasnt any regard for your friend or she wouldnt even have asked you for a threesome. At the end of the day it is just sex, and that seems thats all she is after, is having sex ... (read in full...)
We broke up, but we still act like a couple. Sometimes.
Q. My boyfriend and I recently broke up. During our relationship we experienced many problems such as jealousy, trust, and so on. We both realized that we loved each other but we needed time to grow and mature. The problem is that we still do the kinds ...
A. 9 June 2005: It sounds as though you are the back up plan. Whilst he gets on with you and has a laugh he still wants to be single at the same time but have you in the background in case he cant find someone new. Move on, leave him to it. If he really wanted ... (read in full...)
Almost 16. No boyfriend. My folks keep an eagle-eye on me!
Q. Help I am nearly 16 and I haven't had a boyfriend and it's really depressing me. I never get to meet anyone during the holidays because my parents take me to France every holiday and then make sure I am in their sight the whole time. Please help. I ...
A. 9 June 2005: Hey where the rush to get a boyfriend!? You have a few years ahead of you yet, before you need to start worrying about men... they are not the be all and end in life.... be happy with yourself as having a boyfriend doesnt necessarily mean you will ... (read in full...)
First he said he wanted to sleep with me... now, he's dropped completely out of contact!
Q. I've been in love with my best friend's brother for three years. Recently he's told me he wants to sleep with me. I went round and spent the night, we didn't get all the way but very nearly. Now he hasn't spoken to me in a month, not on the phon...
A. 9 June 2005: It seems that maybe he feels guilty, he's practically slept with his best mate's sister and now feels awkward about it. The only thing you can do is to contact him and ask how things are. Yhe thing that I would be concerned about though is that he ... (read in full...)
I already know I'm gay, but I need to convince my mom to let me date...
Q. I'm gay and I found this guy that I really like. I want to date him but my mom thinks that my being gay is a phase... I need some way to convince her that I am old enough, and mature enough to start dating. Please Help Me. kthx...
A. 9 June 2005: I think that your mum probably just needs time to adjust to this, it was probably a little of a shock when you announced to her that you were gay, and her way of dealing with it is just to say " yes dear we all go through that phase " Try talking ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of dating my brother's friend, but I'm afraid it might be a disaster.
Q. I'm 17 and I like one of my brother's close friends who is 20. I found out the other day that he liked me as well, and wanted to date me. When I talked to him 2 days ago through messenger, I stalled and kept him from really 'asking me out' by ...
A. 9 June 2005: I think the thing here is that you are tempted to go on a date with him, but you do say that you dont like his ego.. so i think you have already told yourself that you dont want to go out with him, but at the same time because he is older you are ... (read in full...)
I'd like his friends to be my friends, too, but will that look odd?
Q. I want to be friends with my boyfriend's friends but I don't want to make it seem like I'm flirting with them. Everytime we're in a group, I go silent because I don't really know any of his friends. I'd like to get to know them but I only com...
A. 9 June 2005: Maybe see if there are any common interests there, something that you may like as well as they do. For instance do you like football ? Films? That sort of thing... when you are all next together, why not while sitting with your boyfriend start to ... (read in full...)
Caught him making out with my friend and ditched him, but now he wants another chance...
Q. I am 25 years old and I live in England had a wonderful relationship with a guy but I caught him making out with a friend of mine so I ditched him. He keeps saying he wants me back and I don't know what to do. Please help!!!...
A. 8 June 2005: Unfortunately, you discovered the ultimate betrayal. You need to stick to your guns and find someone worthy of your love. If they cheat, that's it, game over. Not all men are like that. Move on; its best for you as the relationship would never be ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend softening me up for a letdown?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 4 years now and we've recently hit trouble. We don't do anything exciting anymore and he recently told me he sometimes thinks of me more as a friend than his girlfriend. Is this normal or is he letting me ...
A. 7 June 2005: Sometimes to be able to survive a relationship you do indeed have to be friends first. Perhaps he is meaning that he can count on you as a friend, that in itself is normal, ask him why he feels this way... take iniative to make things more exciting ... (read in full...)
He told me that he'd contact me when he was single, but it's all gone quiet...
Q. I've been seeing a guy for a few months which started as a sex based fling, but I started to fall for him and wanted our relationship to move on. He told me at the start that he had a girlfriend who he said he was not that interested in and that he ...
A. 7 June 2005: Sounds as though he wanted his cake as well as eating it!! He was in a relationship, with someone else who was prepared to have sex with him. You were probably just a handy person to run to when he was feeling like some different company, and kept ... (read in full...)
What can I say to my friend to convince her to leave her abusive boyfriend?
Q. I have a very dear friend who has been involved in a relationship with a guy for about 18 months now. He has, over this time, become emotionally and mentally abusive towards her, and it is breaking her down. She was always a friendly, bubbly ...
A. 7 June 2005: Unfortunately, unless your friend makes the jump, you will not be able to convince her to leave him. All you can really do is be there for her when things go bad. My sister had a similar thing happen to her and I tried with all my might to get h... (read in full...)
We kissed on the first date... but then he SMS'd me to say he regretted it!
Q. Hi there, About two weeks ago my brother-in-law introduced me to this guy he used to work with. He had given him my phone number and he called me on a Sunday evening, we chatted for about an hour and he asked me on a date the following Saturd...
A. 7 June 2005: Perhaps casaully ask if he would like to meet up sometime soon? He may just have got cold feet! Maybe he really likes you but that has scared him! Some men can be like that, it's up to you whether to pursue it or not. To sit in limbo is not nice ... (read in full...)
He's made comments I haven't responded to yet. But what do his emails mean?
Q. Hi, there's a lot of chemistry between myself and a guy I used to work with. He once said to me- 'I feel like I connect with you.' Year later, he emailed me (in response to one of my emails) and wrote ' I think about you on many levels'. Six months ...
A. 7 June 2005: I think he was just looking for a friend and someone to have a laugh with over email. Nothing suggests that he wants to get serious. Either that or he is shy! As you say you haven't responded to his comments then he may think that you are not ... (read in full...)
I was the one who broke it off. Now I want to get over him!
Q. I am still in love with my ex-boyfriend who is married and is trying for a baby with his new wife. I was the one who ended our relationship 5 years ago How can I stop thinking about him and regretting what I've done? ...
A. 7 June 2005: You need to get out and focus on life without him. He has made his choice by marrying someone else and is obvioulsy now happy. You need to stop dwelling in the past and wondering about the what ifs and move on. Be true to yourself, find ways in ... (read in full...)
He was separated when we first went out; now his wife is back!
Q. Dear Cupid, a few months ago I met this guy who truly loves me, and the problem is he was once married and has a child. When I met him he was separated from his wife and child, so I went out with him with no problem. Now she is back, I don't know ...
A. 7 June 2005: First off, you don't mention if he has any intentions of seeing her again. He may well need to have contact with her for the sake of the child, but that may be all. They obviously seperated for a reason, and he is now with you. Unless he has a... (read in full...)
Can someone tell us some sex positions we can use, so he doesn't keep slipping out?
Q. Hi, I am in a very loving relationship that seems soon headed for marriage. My question is this... My guy is not all that well endowed and when we try it "doggie style", he keeps slipping out. Can you recommend postions that might make this adv...
A. 31 May 2005: Hi! Maybe a slight variation to doggy, being taken from behind but not with you on all fours... perhaps with you laying face down, with a couple of pillows to raise your pelvic area, that way you will be arched enough got him to enter you. Maybe ... (read in full...)
At what point am I a tart? Or a tease?
Q. When to have sex ? How many dates should I have with a man before sleeping with him? I don't want him to think I am a tart but I don't want him to think I am teasing him and leading him on. I really fancy him and want to have sex with him but...
A. 23 April 2005: There is no set rule to when you should have sex. It depends on how relaxed you are with someone and if you can see it developing into a relationship. I think we have all had sex with someone to early on and regretted it! It all depends how the ... (read in full...)
I met an internet dating cheat
Q.
I'm hoping you can give me some advice.
I met a really nice guy on an Internet dating site 4 months ago.
We get on really well and speak every day and spend a lot of time together.
My problem is that I told a friend of mine about him and wher...
A. 22 April 2005: Yep ditch him! Hes keeping his options open until someone he really wants comes along! Hes probably with you as you will do for now.. have some respect for you.. you know hes out there looking for others.. hes getting off on all the attention... ... (read in full...)
His ex-girlfriend manipulates him with their kids and I hate it...
Q. MY BOYFRIEND HAS AN EX GIRLFRIEND THAT WILL ALWAYS BE IN HIS LIFE DUE TO THEIR 2 CHILDREN. HIS EX GIRLFRIEND ALWAYS HAS A PROBLEM. LAST WEEK IT WAS HER HEALTH, THIS WEEK IT IS HER CAR. I DO NOT THINK HE SHOULD WORK ON HER CAR BUT HE THINKS THAT AFF...
A. 21 April 2005: Sounds as though your not happy, why are you staying ? If things are really that bad why are you still together ? If you cant accept that he has a past then I dont think he is right for you. He has 2 children, thats the biggest bond anyone will ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is really confused & says he feels "stupid"...
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me because he said that I am too good for him and that he is not sure if I am the one who he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Last year he was making plans for us to get married but all of a sudden changed his ...
A. 21 April 2005: Its a possibilty that hes found someone else. Ive had this happen to me before. a guy told once told me that he felt I loved him more than he loved me, and that he felt I did too much for him and he couldnt handle it anymore. He also tried saying ... (read in full...)
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