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*erene Katy agony aunt

*erene Katy

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I hope and pray these tough, tough experiences I have lived through can help even ONE person avoid some unnecessary pain.

How do I go about in proving my point to her? Every time I explain she doesn't listen and thinks I'm manipulating her.

Q.   My girlfriend and I recently argued about TRUST and HONESTY in a relationship. We were BF/GF now for almost 5months now but we've known each other and started going out for 10months already. I often asked her about her day's work and often times ...

A.   11 December 2007: I'm with you on this one. If she has nothing to hide, it will flow. You seem to have an unhealthy situation here. You don't believe her as you caught her out on the small stuff. A liar needs a good memory, so the less she tells you, the less she has ... (read in full...)

Obsessive Compulsive Love Disorder

Q.   Is it obsessive to still love someone your were with for 4 years when you broke up 10 months ago, or is it a sign of true love? When does true love become obsession?...

A.   11 December 2007: Hi It's not unusual at all to have feelings for someone after 10 months. When you've been so close for a long time like 4 years. The good news is you're probably through the worst. IF you stay away, it will be better all round. Any sites online, ... (read in full...)

Should I accept the downgrade to "friends" from my affair guy?

Q.   Hi all, I am married and I have been having an affair for the past 10 months. I know its wrong and I have learnt to accept that. I fell in love with the new man. About 6 weeks ago, his attitude towards me changed.He keeps on saying he has to work ...

A.   1 November 2006: I think you are looking at the gifts you gave him as a hook. You seem to believe that as he hasn't returned them, he doesn't believe the affair is over. His excuses are all about external events, like a suspicious family and large workload, ... (read in full...)

I can't move on from the fact she's slept around...alot!

Q.   hi everybody,i need some relationship advice! about 6 months ago i started dating my boss's niece(we've known each other for a while and we slept together once but never took it any futher) shes a beatiful,intelligent woman who is highly respected ...

A.   2 October 2006: Two things: 1.You say she has already changed a lot for you. 2.You are worried about what she did before you both entered into this mutually exclusive relationship. 1. Accept that she has modified certain things already, she has shown she ca... (read in full...)

Ladies:- Being a toned guy would it be better to wear Briefs or boxers ?

Q.   Lady's. im am an athletic build and my whole body is toned. would wearing briefs turn a girl off or would boxers be the best option?...

A.   16 August 2006: OOOOOOooooooooooooh Boxers, or why not go Commando!! Just please, please don't prance around in a thong. Nah. And leave the Yfronts at Kmart. Up you boyoh!!! Washboard Fit Yum Yum.... (read in full...)

How much of an age gap is too much ?

Q.   What are the age gaps between you and your partners? And at what stage do you think a age gap is too much? Thanks! x...

A.   15 August 2006: Just a point of view showing the other side of things. From personal experience, I think 18 years and over is too large a gap. There is a huge difference in outlook. Maybe for the first years or even a decade it will be ok, but after that, th... (read in full...)

I dont like the idea of him going to a bachelor party, am I just being too insecure ?

Q.   Is it naive to trust a b/f at a bachelor party? I am jealous and insecure about this and my b/f thinks i am being childish and immature. He says the strippers are not there to have sex with everyone in the place. I feel like what goes on at these ...

A.   15 August 2006: If anonymous didn't want advice, laced with morals or otherwise, she probably wouldn't have come on to the site Wild Thaing. Just wondering which group you fit into, my guess is 1. There is a general denigration of females in 'civilised countrie... (read in full...)

I'm 34, he's 42, 4.5 years together but no committment from him! What should I do?

Q.   I have been in a serious relationship for 4 and 1/2 years, but i am thinking of ending it because there seems to be no commitment from his end, and no talk of the future. I am 34 and he is 42. We have 4 kids between us. I would like to have mor...

A.   14 August 2006: Hi Anonymous Have you tried talking to him? You say no talk of the future, what does he do if you bring it up? Or have you brought the subject up at all. Ask yourself this: If he's getting everything as he wants it now, without commiting or dis... (read in full...)

My ex completely used me and now I'm so angry because he wasn't thankful for anything I did for him!

Q.   Hi, could any one out there give me some advice. I have split from my boyfriend of a year the thing is he totaly used me in every sense. He lived in my home rent free, he drove my car and never ever brought me out for dinner or anything. He didnt ...

A.   14 August 2006: This anger is totally justified. Use it to get you past the first stage of a relationship breakup, that is No Contact. Use it to drive you on and change the patterns you had with him in your life. Oh but he gave you alot when he lived with you... (read in full...)

I dont like the idea of him going to a bachelor party, am I just being too insecure ?

Q.   Is it naive to trust a b/f at a bachelor party? I am jealous and insecure about this and my b/f thinks i am being childish and immature. He says the strippers are not there to have sex with everyone in the place. I feel like what goes on at these ...

A.   12 August 2006: The fact that he wants to go to such a place at all says alot about his morals, my friend. He won't be wearing blinkers at the party, he will be a patron to a place where women are just pieces of meat. I think a gal in a monogamous relation... (read in full...)

I dont like the idea of him going to a bachelor party, am I just being too insecure ?

Q.   Is it naive to trust a b/f at a bachelor party? I am jealous and insecure about this and my b/f thinks i am being childish and immature. He says the strippers are not there to have sex with everyone in the place. I feel like what goes on at these ...

A.   12 August 2006: Oh my This is my hobbyhorse, I have to be careful and keep it short. There is no place in a monogamous relationship for this type of lusting for/ogling and/or touching of another man or woman's body. How would the anonymous lady feel if he ... (read in full...)

My partner says my pregnancy isn't his problem... or his responsibility!

Q.   Hi I really need help... I found out about 3 1/2 Months ago that I'm pregnant. At first I was scared and thought I could count on my partner to support me, but lately he's been going out drinking a lot and refuses to talk about the fact that I'm...

A.   11 August 2006: Dear friend I found myself in a similar situation 13 years ago. Then, when my son was 6 months old, I even went on, against my better judgement, and married a person who fits the description of your gent precisely. What a surprise, he disi... (read in full...)

Do women prefer a hairy chest or shaved chest?

Q.   what do women prefer, a hairy chest or a shaved chest?...

A.   10 August 2006: Oh I love a hairy chest. If it's hairy, leave it hairy. I couldn't imagine anything worse than a scratchy shaved chest with the hair just growiing back. I had a lovely (Italian, incidently) boyfriend who was like a teddy bear he was so hairy. Wonder ... (read in full...)

He's been on dating lines, and I really dont know why he is looking elsewhere!!

Q.   I have been with my partner for 5 years and have three kids one of only 4 weeks and discovered he has been on dating lines for our area.he has done similar things before but never admits anything and makes me in the wrong for not trusting him.i dont ...

A.   10 August 2006: Well, all due respects Yos, but I don't think he's really going to admit it if he is intending to buy. He's not exactly following 'The Waltons' family code of ethics is he? You poor lady, this man is undermining your belief in yourself. Certain ... (read in full...)

Any advice on my little girl's reaction to getting sick?

Q.   Hi all, I have a little girl aged 3 and 1/2 and whenever she is ill, she starts with the usual high temparature , then runny nose etc what i am more worried about is that her ears run with wax and she loses a yellow/green discharge from her winkle ...

A.   4 August 2006: Yes, grommits would certainly cure recurring ear infections, as would removal of the adenoids and or the tonsils. The overall health of your child can really improve, a consultant will decide if this is the best option for her. The high temperature ... (read in full...)

Am I looking at my son with rose tinted glasses? Is he really as naughty as people say?

Q.   my 5 yr old son is like any average normal kid, but ppl always have an oppinion on him they say hes out of control and i dont disiplin him, i do. dont get me wrong he dosent listen to me somtimes he does on the important things but everyday normal ...

A.   4 August 2006: Oh they all have bad days. Everyone else knows how to rear your child, and then your eyes would pop out when these know it alls do something like smoke in front of their own children, or give them rubbish to eat. Make sure your child knows th... (read in full...)

When he says that I'm unforgettable, is that just a line?

Q.   When a guy says that he will never forget you and gives reasons why, is it because he has feelings for you or is it just a cheesy line because they aren't interested and just want to a make you think that they will think of you....

A.   3 August 2006: UUUUUUUUUUUnnnnffoooorgettaaaable, that's what you are. :) Ah I think these people should give it the test of time, and then in 50 years or so, say 'Oh yes, that girl Alison/Janey Mac/Agnes was unforgettable...' What would anyone care then any... (read in full...)

Any ideas to get a 3 week old baby to take milk more successfully?

Q.   my sister has a 3 week old baby that isnt taking her formula feeds properly. she takes a lillte then falls asleep for ten to fifteen mins then wakes for the rest of the bottle. she seems to be struggling taking the milk, we have winded her properly ...

A.   3 August 2006: Don't know why I was anonymous with that last posting. Anyway, forgot to say, don't dream of moving up in formula strength until she is starving an hour or so after drinking a full bottle of the first strength (startup formula). Last point, ... (read in full...)

Am I just staying with him because I'm "used to him", or is my man a disaster?

Q.   Am I staying with my man for the wrong reasons? He's a wonderful guy; nice, caring, loving, generous, funny, supportive, dedicated to me, loyal, trustworthy etc. However, his past is something I just can't get over. He's slept with 100's of g...

A.   3 August 2006: Hi, I hope some of what I noticed in your problem will help you look at it from a different point of view. Can you temporarily try to scale down the relationship to 'just friends'? You seem to like his folks, and him to an extent. Maybe if you t... (read in full...)

We had sex which was great, but when she was on top it hurt her, anyone know this could happen ?

Q.   Hey, me and my girlfriend have had sex 3 times now...the first time it hurt her, but after that it was awesome...on the third time we tried to try something new, instead of me being ontop she wanted to try being on top, but once she was on top, and ...

A.   1 August 2006: Yeah, if the pain is deep within, you're probably just a big boy and she needs to leave that extra inch out, more squating than lying. If the pain isn't that deep within she probably needs more warm up time. Either way, she will probably stretch a ... (read in full...)

Do you think she could be cheating or am I reading too much into it ?

Q.   Is this just how my girlfriend is, or has she cheated on me? We've been dating for 2 years nearly and just bought out first property together. Things started to seem a little odd before this. She went out with some old friends one night m...

A.   1 August 2006: You sneak and she cheats. I'd probably say you are well matched, except you have been given great grounds for suspicion. Maybe she's not guilty (yet) of the ultimate in cheating, but hiding messages from you and phones on silent would drive an... (read in full...)

Why do men complain about the changes to women's bodies after childbirth?

Q.   Why do men marry and have children with a woman only to later complain that her body has changed? I'm not talking about weight but rather the changes that come with pregnancy that are pretty much out of our control, like stretch marks and breast ...

A.   1 August 2006: And you know what, men's bodies change too. They get older and their head loses hair, etc. Even if a woman doesn't have a baby, down the line you'd get older and maybe gain weight or get saggy this or that, or just be ill. Oh and we all get wrink... (read in full...)

My bf of 3 years treats me like trash, now there is this guy at work!!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 years and i am feeling that we dont belong together anymore he treats me like im trash unless i tell him that i cant take it anymore. Well i couldnt take it and i dumped him and he thinks it is all a ...

A.   1 August 2006: AT the beginning of your post you say Me and my boyfriend have been going out three years. That would indicate you are still an item. No wonder he's confused if you speak in the present tense and "are going out". The treating you like trash, in m... (read in full...)

Does this comment mean he doesnt want to get married again ? or did he feel on the spot ?

Q.   I was at a party on Friday night with my boyfriend when one of his friends said he reckoned I was going to be his future wife. His other friend agreed and said he could see us either being married within 2 years or at least engaged by then. My ...

A.   1 August 2006: Well things don't seem so bad then according to your second post. Naturally I have a piece of advice :) If your partner does or says something that hurts you, make sure they know it. Nip that jokey marriage talk in the bud (privately, of c... (read in full...)

I lied and told my girl I was 20, so she wouldn't think me too old. But I'm 24!

Q.   I lied about my age because my girlfriend might think I was too old for her. I met this girl 2 months ago and she told me she was 15 just a couple weeks ago. I wasn't sure what to do because I told her I was 20. She's 16 later this year but the ...

A.   31 July 2006: Em, she is a minor. If you loved her you could give her a bit of space to umm, mature. What's going on? I sincerely hope you are not sleeping with Miss Gymslip. If she were 18 and you 27 it would at least be legal. Can you wait that long? As for her ... (read in full...)

Too young to be in a committed relationship - I want to play the field

Q.   I have been in a steady relationship for almost a year now, although I think I am too young! I am only seventeen and want to go out with my friends an have a good time. I really like another person and I know he likes me and I don't know what to do ...

A.   31 July 2006: You do know what to do about it. Go out with your friends, be young, carefree and happy, date that other guy. Tell your boyfriend you are too young and need to learn about life and yourself, (not to mention that other fellow!!!). You get one shot at ... (read in full...)

Could he have gone from no-strings sexual flings to a "serious relationship" with me, in just a few weeks?

Q.   I was wondering if I could get some opinions on this and if I am really being stupid about this or not. My boyfriend, before me, had lots of flings that usually lasted a few months. He claims that they were just flings-all physical, no emotions...

A.   31 July 2006: Oh Sweetheart, don't even say you are nothing special. You probably have a good heart, and many other qualities that are sooo special. You could be the one he was looking for, time will tell. You have given yourself physically now, be careful ... (read in full...)

His wandering eyes beat up my self-esteem but he denies doing it

Q.   My partner has a sneaky way of ogling women. I have tried lots of approaches to get him to a) admit it and b) stop it. When he is ogling I smile knowingly looking closely at him or obviously stare where he is staring, even though I'm cringing inside ...

A.   31 July 2006: OK, Martini thanks for your two very different posts giving an idea of the male psyche, some sides of anyways. As I've mentioned, the main problem is the dishonesty of not even entertaining the notion he has observed the person. In fact, accordi... (read in full...)

His wandering eyes beat up my self-esteem but he denies doing it

Q.   My partner has a sneaky way of ogling women. I have tried lots of approaches to get him to a) admit it and b) stop it. When he is ogling I smile knowingly looking closely at him or obviously stare where he is staring, even though I'm cringing inside ...

A.   31 July 2006: Yes, I see that the general answer is what I believe myself. I don't think I can go on, and I am right now practically finished with him. However, he does have good points and can be reliable, loving and very kind overall in other ways. (I know, I ... (read in full...)

Does this comment mean he doesnt want to get married again ? or did he feel on the spot ?

Q.   I was at a party on Friday night with my boyfriend when one of his friends said he reckoned I was going to be his future wife. His other friend agreed and said he could see us either being married within 2 years or at least engaged by then. My ...

A.   31 July 2006: Why not discuss it? If he were able to tell you all those things at the beginning of the relationship, communication should be better now. Was he just telling you what you wanted to hear just to bring you along? I hate to say it, hope I don't hurt ... (read in full...)

Can a partner really be confused about their feelings?

Q.   SORRY THIS IN LONG. BUT I REALLY NEED HELP AND NEED TO MAKE ANY HELPERS UNDERSTAND IT ALL IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND THEN ADVICE Can a partner really be undecided about their feelings? Can "I am confused" be true or does it always mean they have f...

A.   30 July 2006: Hi, you describe the woman in your life who has given you a child as your partner. Maybe therein lies the problem. Perhaps she is uncertain as you have not made the real, final gesture of commitment, i.e. marriage. There isn't anything ... (read in full...)

We broke up but said we would be friends, out of the blue he turned nasty, I dont know why ?

Q.   I recently spilt with my ex we were in egaged and lived together. My partner was loyal and loving and I know for sure he loved me more than anything. When he ended the relationship I was and still am devastated. He took my engagement ring and ...

A.   30 July 2006: You will find more dignity in moving on with your life. It will be a clean break, you will have to change your pattern. But all those dreams you had with this man are not defunct, you will go on to do them, just with someone else. Learn to paint or ... (read in full...)

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