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*arge
writes: dear sir/madamHow can I help my best friend who loves a girl deeply, but this girl does not want a relationship, but wants my best friend to pay her college fees and apartment for her, as well? And he agrees to help, but she doesnt want him to live with her?please give me some advice
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): She sounds like damaged goods to me and is just using him to get want she wants. My advice to him is don't pay anything for her. Be her friend, offer non monitary support but do not give her anyting else. To her he is easy boytoy and will use him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2005): how stupid you and your friend is? get the fuck out of that relation and tell him i said he should be more manly.
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reader, communicatrix +, writes (11 June 2005):
 Ah, love...Or should I say, "Ah, attachment..."? Because really, no matter how strong your friend's feelings, can they really include feelings of love when they're so obviously unreciprocated? Your friend is not being viewed as a potential romantic partner; to her credit, this would-be collegiate minx has made it pretty clear that she views him solely as a potential open-ended checking account.Whatever his feelings--and whatever your concern for your friend--there's really not much you can do to help him, outside of c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y expressing that concern. Because you know how much people like to hear their friends and family tell them that that guy/girl they're seeing is a prize ass who's just out to take them for a ride? Exactly.If your friend asks your advice, I'd c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y but honestly share the truth of the situation as you see it, all the while reassuring him that yes, it's crazy that she doesn't feel the same way about you and yes, you know how much it hurts and now, hey, how's about I buy us a couple of cold ones.But the short answer is, alas, there's nothing you can do or really should do unless your friend's life is in danger somehow. And if you speak up too loudly and insistently, sadly, you may find yourself minus a friend.Good luck!
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reader, yoyojohnson +, writes (11 June 2005):
Im sorry but i would like more detail otherwise i think your friend should leave her to her own devices, she doesnt seem to pay much attention to his needs... i think he should find some one who also feels the same way. Giving her money isnt going to change the way she feels about him.
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reader, Cutie_Mish +, writes (10 June 2005):
ah it sounds like this girl realises that your friend likes her and is using him for his money because she thinks he is weak and would do anything for her! i think you need to make him see that she doesn't like him in that way and should move on! this girl is obviously taking advantage of him because he has money! your friend deserves much better then a girl like that! xXx
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reader, kt  +, writes (10 June 2005):
 if i was you i would tell your friend to wake up! tell him that she is just using him to pay her way though life. if he doesn't stop now he will end up hurt and broke. tell him that the world is not always in black and white and that she is seducing him for love - not everyone is a nice as he maybei know that it maybe hard to tell him, but it needs to be done tell him straight. good luck!!
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (10 June 2005):
 What?! I wished you used nicknames because I am totally confused about your question.
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (10 June 2005):
 You need to tell your friend that he is being used, and the girl is only after what she can get out of him. Unless its been agreed that they are just to be freinds and he is helping out a mate. If he is helping her because he thinks they will get together if he does then he needs to stop right now. Advise your friend that he is being taken for a ride, or indeed advantage of and that he should think very carefully before he agrees to do any of these things. He may love her, but she by all accounts doesnt love him, she loves the idea of being looked after and his using your friends love for her to get what she wants. He needs to think very clearly about this and maybe remove himself from the situation. He is only going to get more hurt the longer this goes on and no matter what he does for her, if she doesnt want a relationship she will not change her mind, why would she, shes getting all the things she wants. Tell your friend to move on, it may be tough and he loves her, but the sooner he gets out the better, it will only cause more heartache for him. he will find someone new, someone that will love him back.
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reader, Angel-lee +, writes (10 June 2005):
Sit down with your friend and tell him that you think this girl is using him! because thats what she is doing. If she can get everything she wants from him so easily then she is going to play on it. Tell him exactly how you feel. Its up to him to make the decision and tell her where to stick it, not yours. Its your job as a friend to tell him what YOU see because you are right, she is taking him for a ride (and NOT literally, as the case may be. Tell him how you feel. He will respect you more as his friend and he will probably realise that you are right. Warn him once and then its his deicsion, at least if he learns the hard way he cant blaim you for not warning him off!
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reader, D_Missy +, writes (10 June 2005):
Personally, I think there's something wrong with that. You might sit down with your friend and remind him that he can't let people walk all over him. Even if she did decide she wanted to be with him, it shouldn't be for a price. Let him know that you think this is wrong.
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