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*ovelylace77
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months next week and living together for 8 months. Over the last few weeks he has been hot and cold and recently asked if he could sleep with our new flatmate or have an open relationship. I was hurt as it's always been him who has been the full on one. I don't know what to do, I love him so much. Do you think we need a break? Please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): wow i couldnt stay with a man who wanted to sleep with anyone other then me, you poor thing if it was me id get rid of him how can he love and respect you if he wants to sleep with another? sounds like hes just not satisfied with just one women i know you probably love him but i think if you stay with him after hes said that to you then even if he dosent sleep with another girl it will be nagging at you and always be in the back of your head making you feel like your not enough for him do yourself a favour and find a man who wants only you! goodluck hope it works out for the best xx
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reader, Cutie_Mish +, writes (10 June 2005):
it is totally your decision if you have a open relationship/break or not, it does seem like he is being selfish and wanting more then one girl, i don't want to tell you to break up with him or anything for it seems like he hasn't done anything wrong, but you need to let him know that what he is suggesting is upsetting you. xXx
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (10 June 2005):
 If you don't want to have an open relationship, then don't. You have a say also! Tell him how this request makes you feel. If he can't understand your point of view, I'm sorry, you may have to consider leaving him. Cause if you stay and you stand your ground on no openness, he may stray outside the relationship all together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2005): I agree totally with Rebecca. If you take a break it's practically guaranteed he will sleep with someone else, possibly your new flatmate. How will that make you feel?
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (10 June 2005):
 A permanent break seems to spring to mind, really.
How do you feel about the prospect of an open relationship? How do you feel about him sleeping with someone else? I mean, if you are okay about this and would even consider sleeping with someone else other than him, then by all means, go ahead. However, I don't think you would be asking for help if you were happy with this situation.
Having a break could be an idea but it would more than likely mean that he would sleep with someone else. It all very much depends on what you really want. If you want a committed relationship, then your only answer would be to not be with him anymore as it is apparent that he doesn't want the same anymore.
He may well discover that the grass isn't greener but would you take him back after he had been with someone else?
You love him but how does he feel? Does he feel trapped? Perhaps asking him why he suddenly wishes to do this may make it clear in your mind as to his motives but the bottom line is if you want a serious and committed relationship, he isn't the guy for you.
Good luck.
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (10 June 2005):
 If your boyrfriend is suddenly asking if he can have sex with other woman, then I dont think he is as interested as you. It sounds as though you may have drifted apart a bit. Maybe hes got cold feet all of sudden, or simply wants his cake and eat it! He shouldnt be asking you if its okay to sleep with other people if you are together and love each other, why would he need anyone else. I think he is being very selfish and suddenly wants to play the field. Ask him whats up and why all of a sudden he wants to sleep with others ? It may be that hes realised he hanst had enough fun, and isnt ready to settle down, but at the same time wants you. You have to stand up and tell him that you love him, want to be with him, but you cant accept him sleeping with other people. If he wants to sleep with others then you two will have to break up, and that you will have to tell him that you cant be a couple anymore as it isnt fair. He cant expect to keep you and then sleep with others. The other side to this is that maybe he is just attracted to this flatmate and wouldnt mind gettting it on with her, this again is a no, and he should respect that he with you. He cant seriously want to through the relationship away just to sleep with her! If he does then you need to kick him into touch and tell him that you simply cant allow it. He really isnt being fair to you by even asking if he can sleep with others. He either wants to be with you or he doesnt. Have a talk and if he still wants to sleep with others, then bid him fairwell and find someone new you are worth more than this.
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reader, Angel-lee +, writes (10 June 2005):
Tell him where to stick it! he isnt worth it girlfriend. No one in their right minds would ask their girlfriend that question. Is he a bit of a nutter?!! i would have gone mad!! If he really meant it then tell him, that you think its time you both moved on because he obviously doesnt love you as much as he says he does. Make sure there are no underlying problems in your relationship first because maybe its an attention thing! maybe he was just trying to make you jealous. If not then show him the door. He obviously doesnt care about your feelings. And that is one of the most important things in a relationship! good luck xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2005): Yes I think you need a break, a permanent one! Your partner has no right to ask you this. It's disrespectful and his feelings for you are very questionable. This is not a relationship, you need to do yourself a favour and dump him, find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve.
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