Like what
she writes?
... Add *rPsych to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *rPsych a private message | | | *rPsych's profile:Hello, I am a 39 year old psychologist from Witney, UK. I am married with one little boy, and I work part-time. I have been answering questions on DearCupid for a couple of years as I think it is an important resource. |
|
Married at 16, now regretting it!
Q. Hi I'm 22 years old and I'm desperate I meet my wife when I was 15 she was 19 years old she got pregnan when I just turn 16yrs old so we got married she was 20yrs.. after 3yrs of of been togheter she stop using birth control and got pregnan again ...
A. 5 April 2010: Lots of marriages fall apart when the couple commit at such a young age. I wouldn't give yourself a hard time as it is fairly normal to feel trapped at a time in your life when your peers are out partying, going to college and travelling. I think ... (read in full...)
It started out as sex, but I'm starting to develop feelings for him. Help!
Q. I am a 23 yr old female and am sleeping with a 42 year old man. I have known him for a while, he has a 6 yr old son and a partner although they do not live together. It started out as sex but I think im beginning to get feelings for him, and ...
A. 4 April 2010: The age gap is irrelevant, but the nature of the relationship is nevertheless inappropriate. He has a partner already and that makes him a cheat. If you started a proper relationship with him how long do you think he would remain faithful? He is ... (read in full...)
Son bringing home leggy pretty girls and I'm stuck with my lumpy wife!
Q. My son has recently started bringing girlfriends home: they're leggy, pretty, polite, pleasant girls. Then I think of my wife - I've got a lumpy, angry, middle-aged wife whose libido went AWOL 15 years ago, who gets out of bed at noon, spends 12 ...
A. 4 April 2010: I disagree with the first poster...don't cheat, even if no-one else knows, your conscience will and if your wife finds out then it will add to her sense of worthlessness (which is no doubt how she feels). It sounds as if your wife has some fairly ... (read in full...)
Condom ripped and now I can't get the day after pill because of holiday! HELP!
Q. erm, i'm 13, and I had sex with my boyfriend yesterday, we used protection but the condom ripped. I know you probably think i'm stupid an yes I know that but I really don't know what to do! I was going to go to a under 16's clinic called 'brook' too ...
A. 3 April 2010: There is a simple answer to this problem. If you call NHS DIRECT (get the number off google) then you can speak to a nurse who can advise you on where to get the morning after pill in your area over the Easter period. You could go to your local A&E ... (read in full...)
I don't want him to take my top off!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been going out for about five months. he regurally takes his top off when making out, when we were making out in a forest he told me he would have taken my top off but i would be cold. he didnt but thing is, i don't want him ...
A. 3 April 2010: What you post really tells me is that you don't feel ready for a sexual relationship at this stage in your life. That is perfectly ok as you are quite young. I think lots of people are self conscious about their body but to be honest, if you are ... (read in full...)
How can I overcome the loss of my unborn baby?
Q. Last year in September, I got pregnant, I was 16 at the time and I was on the pill, it was just very bad luck. When I found out I was no longer with the guy so I had to make the decision about what to do. Shortly after I found out about the pregna...
A. 3 April 2010: I have lost two pregnancies by miscarriage, albeit at an older age than yourself but I understand it can be a painful sad time. My sister in law also had a stillbirth daughter a few years back. I think it is normal to go through the grieving ... (read in full...)
Why does my friend behave this way?
Q. my friend whenever am going to her house and am running late she'd call me alot and if dont answer she will texts me. are you coming, why you ignoring me what have i done etc: is soo annoying. and am sick of her aways calling pretty gir...
A. 3 April 2010: Your friend has major self esteem issues - she sees pretty girls as a threat and she is probably sexually inexperienced so feels that she has to say those shocking things about men on TV to make herself appear 'mature' (wrongly). She really does ... (read in full...)
Controlling/abusive boyfriend!
Q. hey there i don't know what to do i have been with my boyfriend a while now and i lost everything because of him my friends don't want to know me and my family don't want anything to do with me anymore. my boyfriend tells me what to do and what to ...
A. 2 April 2010: I suggest you make contact with your family and ask them to support you. You are young and it is ok to have made a mistake and admit to it. However your boyfriend is verbally and physically abusing you. There are lots of agencies who can help you ... (read in full...)
Left ex to shield child, now new hubby is 10 times worse???
Q. This is the first and only time I think I'll post anything about this situation. I'll just lay it all out and pray I get needful responses! Bare with me, theres so much to say!!! Back, 4 years ago I began dating this charming man I met at work. W...
A. 2 April 2010: I have worked professionally with domestic violence victims here in the UK. My advice is that you should leave this relationship immediately. If you don't feel strong enough, think about the implications for your son. He will grow up thinking it is ... (read in full...)
Does this text mean he is brushing me off?
Q. Hi, So I get this txt from a potential love interest to say....Could'nt get your call, in a meeting, thanks for your email, all the best for Easter, Will talk next week, Take Care, -----. What does take care mean? This is the first I have ever had. ...
A. 2 April 2010: I don't think it is a brush off. He bothered to reply which suggests he is at least a little bit interested in you. People are busy at Easter with family commitments so just wait. Don't contact him again and just wait to see if he really does call ... (read in full...)
Flatmate trouble!
Q. Hi guys, just would like some advice as to what to do regarding my selfish flatmates. I signed a lease for a flat with two girls last June but things didnt really go well and i didnt feel welcome in my own home. I basically moved in with my ...
A. 1 April 2010: First of all, stop paying them money for a place you don't live in. They are taking advantage of your good nature.
Go to the citizens advice bureau and get some proper legal advice for free. A simple 'harassment' letter from a solicitor maybe enou... (read in full...)
Chemical pregnancy, did I miscarry or what?
Q. Hey!dearcupid, My period was on feb 26 - march 7 or 8 . I had sex for the first time on march 19 but we didn't use a condom and my boyfriend only pre-came. After that a few days later I felt kinda sick started having lower tummy aches, slight n...
A. 1 April 2010: Hello, I don't think you had symptoms of pregnancy because these usually come later on (sickness etc). If you are feeling stressed or ill then it can affect your cycle a lot. I would also add that sexually transmitted infections and gynaecological ... (read in full...)
Why is my husband being so nasty?
Q. Hi there Agony Aunts and Uncles. My Agony is my husband who keeps telling me I have 'large saggy breasts' and also that my upper lip and face is looking 'old and haggard'. I am feeling so down and so I decided to get a boob job done. The doctor ...
A. 1 April 2010: Being a nurse you have to think about what advice you would give to one of your patient's coming to you and telling you the about the same problem. Don't have an affair, but stop accepting this situation so passively. This man is eroding your self ... (read in full...)
Can I get my son's father out of our lives? He's a jerk!
Q. I went out witht his guy for 5 months, he told me he couldnt have children because of his medication he takes for his epilepsy. Lo and behold I became pregnant, I decided to keep the baby and split with the father N, because to be honest the guy is ...
A. 1 April 2010: This guy maybe a loser, but he is also the father of your child. I appreciate you are angry with him but you have to think about the future. At some stage your baby may turn into a rebellious teenager who blames you for not seeing his father. Your ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my boyfriend because of sex!
Q. I cant have sex with my boyfriend becose am still a virgin, and cant make him cum thru blow job. .wot should i do,i dont want to lose him to other gurl becos of sex....
A. 31 March 2010: You could have sex with him and lose him to other girls anyway...you should concentrate on the 'relationship' and not the sex. If you are not good friends with this guy then there is no future in it regardless of what you get up to in the bedroom. I ... (read in full...)
I was mortified by his comment! What did he mean?
Q. ive known this guy for 7 months and weve become close friends in that time. i really like him but notice sometimes he says things which dont add up for example he owns 3 houses, has 60 k in savings and want to buy a 350 k house in london. hes ha...
A. 31 March 2010: I don't think you have egg on your face so stop giving yourself such a hard time. I think you have been his social worker through his personal problems and he doesn't seem to put into the friendship anything like what he takes from it. I also sense ... (read in full...)
Isn't it up to the man to ask the woman out to dinner?
Q. I met a man online and had a date last night. I almost cancelled, because I thought I would not like him. Anyway, we met up and laughed all night. We talked and talked, held hands amd it was a blast. He walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight.. ...
A. 29 March 2010: You are on this planet for a fixed number of years. I think you should do your best to make your own happiness during that time. I think this man makes you happy - for now anyway. Ring him up and ask him out to dinner, drinks, a trip on a roller ... (read in full...)
The sister is trying to keep us apart...
Q. I have linked with a guy I have fancies for over a year on facebook. He hinted he wanted to linkkk. There is mutual attraction between us. Whenever I see him his sister tries to keep us apart. She likes me and keeps saying I will do for him but ...
A. 29 March 2010: I think you need to stop conducting your relationship with this man online. Facebook is frankly confusing and not really the place to get relationships moving. I can see the sister being frustrating but she is not a problem. She is only identified ... (read in full...)
Do you think I just took things the wrong way???
Q. hi hope you can help theres this man that i have liked for a while and out of nowhere he asked to be my friend on facebook he then sent me a message asking how i was n where i work , we were sending each other messages for a few days running the...
A. 29 March 2010: We all read the signals wrong sometime so don't let this get you down. He is probably just a player who likes attention. He probably knew you liked him and was enjoying the flirting. However he doesn't want a relationship with you and maybe that ... (read in full...)
My aunt, whom I often send money to, makes me feel guilty when I buy things for myself. I don't know how to deal with her?
Q. Hi Guys, Im so frustrated with someone and need some help. My aunty moved to America about 10 years ago because she met the love of her life and wanted to settle down etc...She is married with 2 children and doesnt work.Now when she lived h...
A. 19 February 2010: There are two separate issues that you perhaps need to deal with in relation to your aunt. You are right when you say she made her own choices in her life. I think you should stop sending her any money as you are creating a relationship based on ... (read in full...)
I am thinking of waiting until the baby is born to break the news that I want a divorce.
Q. Hello everyone, Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my question. I am 25 and have been married for about 7 months now. since getting married, my wife and I have been fighting non stop. Also, she got pregnant (4 months now) and ...
A. 14 February 2010: I think you should wait until the baby is born because children are life-changing experiences. The night-time lifestyle of your wife will have to change...feeds, nappy changes and broken sleep for months will put a stop to that. As she bonds with ... (read in full...)
Selfish sister???
Q. I just want to see if anyone else finds my older sister as selfish and thoughtless as I do? Basically, shes 35 and has her own family - 2 kids and a husband, nice home etc. Im 26 and about to have my first baby. For as long as I can remember, my...
A. 14 February 2010: I am in a similar situation with my brother to be honest. I don't get along with him because I know he will do what he wants rather than meeting family responsibilities (which always fall to me). Unlike your sister, he is rubbish in times of crisis ... (read in full...)
Will it frighten him off?
Q. I'm in my 40's so should know better - but I sent a valentines card to someone I have liked for ages. I didnt sign it and it just had 'happy valentines day' inside it. He may or may not know that I sent it. He is really shy and although we go out ...
A. 14 February 2010: In 2010, a 40-something young lady can take the bull by the horns (so to speak!) and ask out this man on a proper date. Valentines cards send out messages that can be misconstrued...he may not realise it was you who sent it, he may think you are ... (read in full...)
Great date, great sex... and now no call from him!!!
Q. I met this guy two weeks ago and he was very interested right away. We kissed right away as we were out dancing and drinking, and I tend to move fast with guys. He got my number and called me the same night when I got home! We talked, but I was more ...
A. 14 February 2010: I think you have to put this into perspective. It is easy to say 'you shouldn't have slept with him so soon...' but it happens a lot when there is alcohol and passion around. I don't judge you for that at all, but if this guy says he will call and ... (read in full...)
Why does he want to keep me a secret? Is he just using me???
Q. Well im seeing this boy, and he asked out another girl (my best friend). So i immediatly dumped him, my friend didn't know we where going out (well seeing each other) at the time, so I didn't say anything. Luckily she said no. Then about a week ...
A. 14 February 2010: I agree with the others - he is keeping you a secret as he is keeping his options open. He hopes you will have sex with him to give him sexual experience (teenage boys can be very insecure about this). Don't let him use you or become his doormat. It ... (read in full...)
Am I really the reverse ugly duckling?
Q. i feel ugly. my self-esteem's really low right now. i fancy this guy in my college who keeps adding really attractive girls in facebook. we've been on the edge of becoming an item for a long but eventually he suggests us to be best friends. is it ...
A. 13 February 2010: I think everyone goes through phases where they feel like you do - particularly when you are having a stressful time! I know I used to beat myself up about my looks at your age...as you get older you should come to learn that it is not all about ... (read in full...)
Asked to be a God mother, what do I do!?
Q. My friend has just asked me to be god mother to her 2 children. I'm really flattered but I don't know what to say! Do you have to be a Christian to be a god parent? What will my role be? ...
A. 12 February 2010: It is very nice to be asked and your friend obviously trusts you and respects you. It generally means being an appropriate role-model for the children, and offering support if they should need it in the future (I mean emotional support, not ... (read in full...)
A precaution for dating sites... don't fall for scammers!
Q. I just want to bring up a serious issue happening on dating sites like Match.com, yahoo personals, OKcupid.com. I have my profile on some of these popular dating sites that I mention and from my experience some of the people on there are scammers. I ...
A. 11 February 2010: I agree there is an entire criminal network out there looking to scam lonely people. Sadly many of the online ladies will turn out to be men stuck in an internet cafe somewhere in the world hiding behind a fake female picture. Online dating may work ... (read in full...)
Is there a surgery that reconstructs a hymen?
Q. Dear its a problem of my best fried sidra plz help her. Hope you have good health with your family members and friends. I have very difficult situation in these days. I am 26 year old unmarried girl. When I was 18 or 19 years I start intercou...
A. 11 February 2010: This is a very difficult situation. There are surgical procedures to reconstruct it, but this is an expensive cosmetic procedure. Basically you have two choices - you can tell your husband about your sexual past or you can lie about your sexual ... (read in full...)
I seem to "cum" throughout the day. Is this normal?
Q. im a girl, i seem to 'cum' throughout the day making a mess in my undies. its very annoying and im wondering if it is normal or if i should get it checked out ? :/...
A. 9 February 2010: Some vaginal discharge is entirely normal in adult females throughout their lives. Basically your body is in a constant process of cleaning down-stairs. However excessive discharge maybe due to a medical cause such as a bacterial infection. ... (read in full...)
He has ejaculated in me numerous times and I still haven't gotten pregnant. Is it me?
Q. ok so i have been having sex for the last 5 months not very often but i will say like at least more then 8 times... each and every time the guy ive been with has ejaculated in me ...but i cant seem to get pregnant ... what may be the problem.....
A. 9 February 2010: I am having infertility treatment at the moment to extend the brood...here is what the doctor told me. To get pregnant you have to try 2-3 times a week as a minimum for a year - you are most likely to get pregnant at certain times of the month and ... (read in full...)
Will it be a mistake to have sex with my sister-in-law?
Q. I have a sister in law whom is living with us in the same house. She wears clothes where her nipples are visibly mark, wears shorts where her most private part is also marked. I can't evade fantacizing her. Whenever the door of her room is open, I ...
A. 9 February 2010: An old military trick for suppressing sexual urges was bromide. I think you need more than that...you must really hate your wife if you are prepared to tear the family apart by messing about with your sister in law. ... (read in full...)
He's 12 years older and I'm scared to move forward.
Q. I am a 25 years old going on 26 and have never before dated anyone more that 4 years older than I am in the past. I recently met a man who is 38. I found out his age after I realized how interesting and intriguing he is. I do enjoy his company but ...
A. 9 February 2010: I suspect you are scared of commitment with this man for reasons other than his age. Only you can decide what is holding you back - perhaps poor relationships in the past? I would say 12 years isn't a big deal...but then I would, I am a decade older ... (read in full...)
Does having a drivers license - or not - affect getting dates?
Q. will not having my drivers license in a rural town affect if girls will date me? Due to slow and unmotivated parent still dont have it. Its the root of much of my hesitance to date, does it matter?...
A. 9 February 2010: I don't think having a car is the basis of your love life. I understand that you live in a rural community but I am guessing there must be some public transport somewhere or you can get a lift from a friend. I am not saying don't learn to drive but ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if an old flame actually likes me or just wants to be friends...?
Q. i met up with an old falme on saturday night for a quick drink, but now im getting mixed signals. How can i tell if he actually likes me or just wants to be friends...? after meeting with him i went out with a couple of girlfriends, i texted him ...
A. 9 February 2010: You say this man is an old flame and I assume you have had a relationship with him in the past that didn't work out. You have to think long and hard about rekindling this flame because it fell apart in the past for some reason. I also think he is ... (read in full...)
I'm being criticized by a teenage boy! Why is he behaving like this and how can I get him to respect me?
Q. HI. I'm a happily single 35 yr. old woman. I go to church alone and even though I've been going to this particular church for more than 2 yr.s it hasn't been easy for me to make friends there. Lots of people smile and say hi but they don't really ...
A. 8 February 2010: This is a teenage boy who is bullying you by making fun of your appearance. It is probably because he feels deeply insecure and unsure of himself. He also senses that you have a lack of self confidence and a need for others attention. I think the ... (read in full...)
When it comes to nudity and porn my boyfriend has double standards
Q. I think my boyfriend has double stanards. He likes watching porn and even though he's not addicted, he'll defend his porn use until he dies! Well, I don't like him looking at other women. I don't like thinking he gets pleasure from others. I know ...
A. 8 February 2010: I don't think you can strike a deal with your boyfriend - it sounds as if he has already told you he likes looking at adult images and won't change for you. It obviously makes you feel bad and that is ok, many women would feel the same way as you ... (read in full...)
Sometimes a peach can have too much syrup and it doesn't mean the tree is getting too much water.
Q. Well I am in a s*load of trouble over a relationship I had with my boss at work. I handled the whole thing badly and it blew up in my face. I tried to get some advice on this problem the other day but my question wasn't posted because it was d...
A. 27 January 2010: You cannot fix it because you doubted her and that will always been a breeding ground for future resentment. I think it best that you say nothing to her at work if you do indeed like her at all. Many organisations disapprove of relationships between ... (read in full...)
My husband abused my daughter, she won't prosecute! Can I?
Q. SORRY FOR JUMPING IN ON YOUR TOPIC BUT i need advice as hitting my head on brick walls and getting no further i have a 24 year old married daughter who has just spoken up after 13 years of child abuse from her step father she never ever ...
A. 11 December 2009: I think your daughter might turn against you if you go to the authorities against her wishes. Of course the news of child abuse must be devastating for you, and I urge you to seek counselling as you must be in a state of anger and hatred towards ... (read in full...)
He got another girl pregnant during one of our breakups, and my heart is breaking
Q. Well I'm 14 years old and I thought I found the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with... We quickly fell in love but we also faught way to much. These weren't just silly little fights they got serious to the point were he tried to kill ...
A. 11 December 2009: If he behaves this badly when you are in the early years of dating...imagine what it would be like to be married to the low-life! He is just a teenage boy who made a mistake, don't plan your future around him. There are lots of people in the world ... (read in full...)
Ideas on how to work on my confidence?
Q. hi guys ive got abit of a confidence crisis. I think it started in primary when i was bullied alot for how i look because i was 11 stone, was wearing glasses and my hair was terrible and i have a lisp but i wanted that to change for high school ...
A. 10 December 2009: I think you sound rather brilliant - you were able to do the sort of self improvement that most people just 'talk' about but never put into action. I agree with the previous post that drama or music hobbies may help you with confidence. I think you ... (read in full...)
| *rPsych's friends
These are mutual friends, so *rPsych has
added them and they have added *rPsych!
|
