Like what
she writes?
... Add *rPsych to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *rPsych a private message | | | *rPsych's profile:Hello, I am a 39 year old psychologist from Witney, UK. I am married with one little boy, and I work part-time. I have been answering questions on DearCupid for a couple of years as I think it is an important resource. |
|
Boyfriend doesn't want me to wear makeup!
Q. hey, im having a bit of a hard time with my boyfriend atm he doesn't want me to wear makeup , get my eyebrows done or anything its killing me i cant keep him telling me what to do . I dont wanna give up makeup or stop getting my eye brows done but ...
A. 11 July 2010: What does that mean? It probably means your boyfriend is a control freak who likes to get things his way and doesn't like communicating with you on equal-terms. I understand he may not wish you to wear too much makeup, but as a grown woman it is up ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants nothing to do with our baby so what should I do?
Q. I met my boyfriend at a mutual workplace and chemistry immediately attracted us together. We have been a couple for one year now. From day 1, he told me that he had two children (twins) and wanted to make sure I still wanted to be in his life. I ...
A. 9 July 2010: CPS will not take your baby unless there are concerns of severe abuse or neglect. There are many community organisations out there to help single parents. If you go ahead with the pregnancy I would think you are going to be a single parent. If your ... (read in full...)
I am only 24 and have 5 young children, should I abort the child I am currently pregnant with?
Q. i am pregnant but i already have 5 young children and im only young. I thought about an abortion but dont think i can do it, what should i do my man isnt much help ...
A. 9 July 2010: I suggest that you get some counselling to determine if you want an abortion or not (try the marie stopes organisation). You have a lot of children at a young age. It suggests contraceptive failure or a lack of ability on your side to assert your ... (read in full...)
Thinking of ending my marriage for someone else.
Q. Dear cupid, I met my ex boyfriend when I was just 16. He was 34! I lied to him about my age and he broke it off with me because of my age. He told me to call him whn I turned 18. There was a definite spark between us and a feeling I have neer felt...
A. 5 July 2010: If you really think your marriage is over, leave your husband. But don't leave your husband for another man...it will just be running from one drama to the next. The other man has a girlfriend and he is happy to discuss his personal problems with ... (read in full...)
What do I do about a guy who keeps changing his stories?
Q. i've met a guy 3months ago, one day while we was having sex he told me he knows people before me, then he started laughing...thhen he would say you look very nice 4 a 3sum, this guy does'nt like me. when i do try 2 move on from him he pulls me back ...
A. 3 July 2010: What to do? This man is behaving badly because you let him. You cannot control what he says or how he acts...but if he doesn't meet your expectations and you still carry on having sex with him then what do you expect? He sees you as a booty call and ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with his rejection?
Q. we have been trying for a baby and succeded after 6months of trying. in the first week finding out i'm pregnant my partner has decided he deosnt want to be with me anymore. he says he wants the baby but not me this was 5 weeks ago and he still ha...
A. 3 July 2010: Life doesn't always work out as planned. You have to ask yourself if he was worthy of love after behaving so badly. If the relationship was going to end, it is perhaps better it happens before the baby arrives and you are even more emotionally ... (read in full...)
I'm hiding a big dark secret..I'm a virgin!
Q. Hi everyone, I'm adding another woeful post to the list of adult virgins out there who need help. But my situation has an unusual twist... First off, let me just say that no matter how this will sound, I'm not being arrogant. I genuinely need h...
A. 3 July 2010: If it really bothers you that much you could go to a prostitute. However, being a virgin at 28 is hardly crime of the century. In fact a woman who really liked you would be enormously flattered that you lost it to her. Your awkward approach with ... (read in full...)
Should I have NSA sex with people from craigslist?
Q. I recently broke it off with my boyfriend of seven years. I was 18 when we got together and we lived together the duration of our relationship. I left because I changed and he wasn't what I wanted any more. I am a very sexual person and my ne...
A. 3 July 2010: If you are self confident and attractive then you will have no problem finding casual encounters. The problem with personal ad columns on websites is that they contain a lot of cranks and weirdo types who would struggle to find a relationship any ... (read in full...)
Can a cold sore lead to genital herpes?
Q. If I have a cold sore on my face and my boyfriend kisses me, if he performs oral sex can I get genital herpes from it?...
A. 3 July 2010: Herpes simplex type 1 causes cold sores on the face. It can be transferred to other places as it is highly infectious when you have a breakout. If your partner kisses you then he could get herpes simplex in his system, and then in the future he ... (read in full...)
Beauty and the beast
Q. Ok, this really is a beauty and the beast type scenario. I'm not like most girls, I'm 6 foot 1 and by no means skinny. My whole life I've been told that I'm weird, different, or just not good enough, especially by men. Well, I finally met someone ...
A. 3 July 2010: There are many short women in the world who would give a lot to have your height! You have to appreciate that all girls have insecurity about their appearance. Men who degrade you have issues of their own...I guess a few of those insults came from ... (read in full...)
Does he still want me? I can't go back until he changes!
Q. i left my husband after being 20 yr tgether we got married 2yr ago the reason i left was because he opened a second buisness that hasnt paid him in over 2 yr and it came between us when he didnt have time for his family was stressed etc so after ...
A. 3 July 2010: I would be sceptical about the existence of the other woman, simply because as you say he is a workaholic with limited opportunities for dating. It could be his clumsy attempt to 'make you jealous' so you realise what you have 'lost' and beg for him ... (read in full...)
I'm so worried he is ringing and texting other girls...
Q. I have been with my partner for 17 months now, he is 7 years younger than me and has had a past life of sex and parties, he has lied to me about his past, and a phone call he made to his ex apparently just for a chat, she's also confirmed this but ...
A. 1 July 2010: The relationship was over at the point at which you stop trusting him - whether he actually cheated or not is irrelevant. You cannot carry on living this way without bringing your own mental health to the floor with the worry and anxiety. You ... (read in full...)
I can't even wear a tampon because it hurts so much!
Q. okay so i cannot use a tampon? it is so painful! i even put PKY jelly on the tampon so it is well lubricated! but it hurts so badly that i sometimes cry, it feels like something is tearing or pinching and i just wanna scream! also I hav really heavy ...
A. 29 June 2010: Not everyone gets on with tampons. They are often not suitable to very heavy periods due to leakage etc. I would stick to sanitary towels for now which can be quite discrete these days and less prone to leakage. However, since you are experiencing ... (read in full...)
Advice on pill and periods
Q. Ive been taking the pill where u dont have periods, ive had this pill for 3 months now and on my last pack, When i first took the pill the first month i had a very lite period that lasted a day then nothing since then then past day or so iv...
A. 29 June 2010: It is not too unusual to have discharge when using the contraceptive pill as your body adjusts to it. However, since this concerns you then you should see your GP. They could identify if there is anything else that might cause the discharge, do a ... (read in full...)
His ex is forcing him to chose between his son or me and now he isn't contacting me!
Q. Dear Agony Aunt, I met a guy off a very well known dating site and we hit it off straight away, we became very close in three weeks to the point where we even told each other we loved each other, I know silly really when we hadn't even met before ...
A. 29 June 2010: This is a fine example of what happens in the world of online dating. People get carried away and think they love someone they barely know - the phone calls, the emails etc mean nothing until you properly date someone for a long time. Feeling lonely ... (read in full...)
Do I take in only one of my siblings, or leave them both together?
Q. My sister (12) and brother(10) are both in a care home as my mum lost custody of them as she is a heroin addict. I don't have enough money/big enough house to take custody of both of them but my solicitor says that I could certainly take one of ...
A. 28 June 2010: Social services will be happy to keep the family together if you choose to take them on. You maybe entitled to grants and benefits to assist in raising the children (since they cost money!). A social worker or citizens advice bureau could advise you ... (read in full...)
Regretting an awkward text!
Q. Hello, right, I recently came out of a rather abusive long term relationship. Just as the end (a few months ago) I met a man who I have now met up with a few times. He has textedit me every at since we met and has always seemed keen, sometime...
A. 27 June 2010: I don't think you should text him again - it will make everything more awkward and you may come across as being needy. I think you should delete his number from your mobile to prevent you having another drunken moment. If he wanted a full-on ... (read in full...)
How do I learn not to come across as bitchy and judgemental?
Q. Many of my close friends, family members, past partners, in the last year have noted I'm judgemental, unpleasant about people I don't approve of, angry, basically a bitch. In my mind I have a bitchy sense of humour, but obviously for some people it ...
A. 27 June 2010: Being bitter and making nasty comments about others is telling about how you are feeling about you. It stems from lack of self confidence and lashing out at others is one way to make yourself feel better about yourself (a defence mechanism). Sadly ... (read in full...)
I want a divorce, but I know he won't accept it!
Q. Hello I want to leave my husband, i dont love him anymore (we dont have children and we're under 30) but I'm very scared of his reaction and our families, I want to know if I choose to hide for sometime will i have problems with the law? it is ilega...
A. 27 June 2010: I suggest that you telephone the Women's Aid helpline (find the number on google). They can give you support, courage and a place to stay if needed. It is not illegal in the UK to leave your husband, nor to run-away. I would suggest that instead of ... (read in full...)
Do I really dress like a slut?
Q. People think I'm a how because of the way I dress. I am a beautiful blonde with great legs and nice natural breasts. I like to show it off through what I wear. Guys are always getting pissed off at me for "leading them on." tgey know im un a ...
A. 27 June 2010: You should be able to wear what you want. Sadly we don't live in a world where we are not judged on physical appearance. Therefore if you are walking around a shopping mall wearing next to nothing then you can expect to be looked at and judged ... (read in full...)
Could I have lost my virginity and gotten pregnant at the same time?
Q. okay so i am 17 and i lost my virginity thursday like 3 in the morning in the pool and it didnt hurt at all, but, it was only in me for like 3 minutes and when he pushed me away i looked down , and he had nutted. im sooo scared idk anything about ...
A. 25 June 2010: It is entirely possible to get pregnant from first intercourse. It also doesn't necessarily mean you are not pregnant if a man doesn't ejaculate inside you. Basically there are sperm in pre-ejaculate - something men don't have much control over and ... (read in full...)
Our daughter is 7 months old and he is doubling my workload!
Q. Why does he have to make my life so difficult? It's just the little things but they add up and I end up feeling really frustrated. We have a seven month old daughter so I could do without the added stress. I probably sound like I'm whineing but I ...
A. 25 June 2010: Hello, I have a toddler at home and I appreciate what you are writing...babies are hard work! You do need some time off, but also the knowledge that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sooner or later your baby will become more independent. I ... (read in full...)
Online levitra?
Q. I am going through some stressful times right now, and quite frankly, it is affecting my libido and my ability to maintain an erection or just have strong erections. I've gone to the Dr, and he concluded it was phychologically-based. He prescribed ...
A. 24 June 2010: There is plenty of research evidence showing that many of the online stores are selling fake drugs (esp. if they are cheap and without a prescription). These can be harmless placebo, or dangerous imitations that contain a wide range of toxins ... (read in full...)
Around the world in 80 naughty stories....
Q. Hi! Ok this is the thing, I was thinking my bf is going overseas on a business trip but his going for 90 days :( any ways, last year I just wrote him a letter and told him he can only open it when he gets there, which was sweet he like that. Now I ...
A. 24 June 2010: I agree with the other aunt, you sound like a great person. Go for it, your partner must appreciate you!... (read in full...)
DearCupid has helped me with this online lover before and I need your help again!
Q. I met a guy on the Internet who lives in Sydney and am feeling unsure about his latest antics and am wondering whether things may be changing for the better or whether he is still out to exploit me for his own gain. I'm aware that I need to pro...
A. 24 June 2010: I read your post, then re-read it to make sure I was reading correctly...you are dwelling on the romantic intentions of a man who refuses to talk to you about anything but anal pleasure and demands that you stick half the contents of your local ... (read in full...)
My depression and stress is keeping me from conceiving.. how can I cope?
Q. I m looking for tips about how to conceive while coping with stress and depression and also looking for ways to overcome the stress and depression...
A. 24 June 2010: I think stress can have a profound effect on your fertility. You should look at your whole lifestyle during this pre-baby stage. Alcohol, smoking, diet, exercise etc all need to be evaluated for the future health of yourself and your baby. As for ... (read in full...)
Parental love...???
Q. I'm a 23 year old.. i have serious issues with my mother. she's too dominating and doesnt allow me do most things the way i want to. shes EXTREMELY strict with me and in general and interferes a lot too in my personal matters. she has a harsh ...
A. 22 June 2010: You are getting married and entering a new phase in your life. Your mother is only controlling you because you allow this to happen. It may seem harsh but it is time to stand up for your freedom. She will either respect you for defending yourself, ... (read in full...)
At the point of break up, psycho ex back in the picture...
Q. When I first my boyfriend, he would rant on and on to me about his ex, calling her a psycho. I felt it was okay, since we were just friends. Overtime we started to develop feelings for each other. He asked me out, but I always had that weird fe...
A. 21 June 2010: Your boyfriend wished you 'happy birthday' by email...it says all you need to know about this relationship. I would say you need to learn a lesson about future relationships from this man. Your initial contact with him included reference to a psycho ... (read in full...)
When a guy calls you at three in the morning...?
Q. I like this guy and he's called me at three in the morning, twice. I tell him everything, and he knows that I like him, and he tells me everything too, but we're not best friends. When he calls, he doesn't talk about anything sexual, and we just ...
A. 21 June 2010: Ok you may like the attention but what does it say when a man rings at 3am? For a start it means he is thinking of himself more than you. If he doesn't respect you enough to call at a sensible hour, what sort of a boyfriend would he make. The fact ... (read in full...)
Bad breath during pregnancy?
Q. i am pregnant by 16 weeks. My husband often complains that my breath has too much odour. Sometimes it is odourig too much. I have also noticed same. I regulerly use mouth wash. But after 10 minutes it starts oduring again. Before pregnancy it never ...
A. 18 June 2010: Because of changes in your immune function during pregnancy, you are more prone to dental problems at this time such as gum disease. This is turn can cause bad breath. It is important to keep your dental hygiene in check during pregnancy for your ... (read in full...)
My step grandma goes through my things, and then I can't find them!
Q. i dont think my parents (dad and step-mom) are grown ups. my step-mom's mom (my grandma) comes over and cleans our whole house, ever room (even my dads). and she reorgainies everything in my room. and if i make my bed, she'll remake it. she also ...
A. 18 June 2010: For this woman, tidying the house is probably attached to her role in mothering your step-mom...she just hasn't been able to cut the umbilical cord so to speak. She probably gets a sense of personal value through her helping, even though it is not ... (read in full...)
Will he ever be ready for a relationship with me?
Q. Hi there I was wondering if anyone had an opinions about my situation Im 21 years old and am head over heels for a guy the same age as me. He has been messaging me all day ever day for atleast a month now. I spend a couple of nights a week wi...
A. 18 June 2010: I am really sorry but this one will probably end in tears. He maybe Mr Nice Guy, but he may just be pretending to be to get what he wants which is you in his bed when he wants. I would say as a consenting adult if you want a purely sexual ... (read in full...)
I have been abuse for most of my life and don't know how to break this dreadful cycle
Q. Please help. I was involved with a man for three years. We had what I thought was a good relationship and I trusted him. As time went on and I began to invite this man to my house my ex, my daughter's Father started to cause a lot of problems ie: ...
A. 14 June 2010: Your daughter is at a vulnerable age and to prevent her getting into trouble, you really do need to take charge of the situation right now. If you are depressed, see a doctor and get treatment. If your ex managed to get an injunction, there must ... (read in full...)
Is this considered part of an eating disorder?
Q. okay, well this isn't a relationship question, it's on diet and I really need help from any professional or not even a professional! Anyway, basically, our end of year ball is coming up and I have a black silk dress I really want to look good in!...
A. 13 June 2010: You have received some good advice already. I would say that if you have been depriving yourself of food for a while on a highly restrictive diet then your metabolism will be slowing down and you end up terribly dehydrated and malnourished, with ... (read in full...)
My mum doesn't love me
Q. I don't understand why she doesn't love me but i know she doesn't. As a child growing up she would hit ONLY me, she once hit me with a sweeping brush over my knees. I have older brothers and she never hit them. She always said she wanted a daughter ...
A. 13 June 2010: You cannot control how your mother responds to you. I understand that you have had a terrible childhood and adolescence. You now have two choices - you let what has happened victimise you forever or you can set out a plan to change your life ... (read in full...)
My b/f's closeness to his 17 year old daughter makes me uncomfortable
Q. My boyfriend has a 17 year old daughter who asked him to rub fake tan in her back last week when her nan was in the house and she was off to a friends house so i couldn't see why she couldn't have asked one of them. is this normal or am i being ...
A. 13 June 2010: This man is her father - you may see her as a girl but he just sees her as his 'little girl'. For some Dad's their little girl's never grow up. I personally think it is nice that she feels safe around him to ask for him to rub tan on her. It was ... (read in full...)
I'm 15, he's 18 and we want to "explore"
Q. Heei, im sophie and im 15 i have a bf thats 18 weve been going out for a year now, we are very much in love. But we have a problem he really wants to explore with me, but we are both very worried about the age difference, could someone please give ...
A. 13 June 2010: Sophie, nobody here can tell you if you are ready for the next step in your relationship as that decision is yours alone. However I would say that the fact you have posted on this website suggests that you don't feel ready and I have to say that is ... (read in full...)
Why is porn bad?
Q. *OP's Original Title* This is more of a question for females. I watch porn and I hate that it upsets my girlfriend. I love her more then anything and try to be a good boyfriend in every way. I clean up after myself, I don't cook a lot but I pay for ...
A. 12 June 2010: Porn is bad if you have ethics because many of the actors and actresses have enormous personal problems that have led to that career choice - terrible childhood experiences, drug dependency, attachment and emotional disorders. Take a look at the ... (read in full...)
How do I make the right decision? I have to choose between my boyfriend and caring for my mother
Q. I hope you guys can help... At the end of last year I had started living with my boyfriend of 5 years in New Zealand (he moved out there a year prior to me to get established) but then my Mum got cancer. I told my boyfriend that I wanted to come ...
A. 9 June 2010: What a terrible situation to find yourself in. You are obviously a very good daughter and your relationship with your mother is important to you. I think your demonstrated priority has been (quite rightly) with her. Her dependency on you should lift ... (read in full...)
I like my mates girlfriend
Q. me and my mate have been good friends for a while now and both have the same interests. i hardly have any friends and dont want us to fall out. i was going to ask this girl out but then found out my friend liked her too. so i left her alone. ever ...
A. 7 June 2010: Girlfriends come and go, best mates are to be treasured. It is a simple question of getting your priorities right. You know the friendship with your mate works for you and the company is enjoyable. You might date his girl for a week or a month ... (read in full...)
My online 'Juliet's' parents are trying to break us apart!
Q. My relationship start off long distanced online. We started cam dating just a few days after we met on a website. She confessed to me that she loved me and wanted to try dating. I accepted and fell in love with her also. We had no real problems ...
A. 7 June 2010: As a parent myself I can tell you that if I discovered my child (when he is older of course) having an internet relationship then I would be concerned. With all the horror stories you hear in the media and a bit of common sense thrown in for good ... (read in full...)
| *rPsych's friends
These are mutual friends, so *rPsych has
added them and they have added *rPsych!
|
