New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244961 questions, 1084297 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*at14 agony aunt

*at14

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *at14 to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *at14 a private message

*at14's Ratings
Excellent62%
Average18%
Poor21%
*at14's profile:

My names Kathleen i live in milton keynes, England.

I have a boyfriend we've been together 6 months now. I like to help people or at least try to becuase it makes me feel good and i know i would like people to help me. I also thinks its good to read about problems i may face in the future and help others with things i've been through myself.

12Next > [2 pages, 53 answers]

I'm 13 and am wondering if i am a lesbian, I flirt with girls all the time, Is this normal?

Q.   Hey , Please help me because I think Im a Lesbain. I like Boys and All but Recently Ive had Feelings for Girls!! Im 13 and had loads of boyfriends but I have feelings for other girls. Please help me because Im flirting with them all the time...

A.   26 August 2007: yes this is normal i went through the same but when i was a bit older. Me and a good mate of mine even tried going out for a while. But i wasnt comfortable actually going out with her and ended it. I think everyone gets curious. I thought i was ... (read in full...)

He is only a child but I am nearly an adult. What do I do??

Q.   Hi, I'm a 17 year old girl, almost 18. My problem is that I have fallen in love with a guy who is 15 (who will turn 16 two months after I turn 18.) I feel really bad about the age gap but he said he doesnt care what age I am because he loves...

A.   23 August 2007: Im in the same position but the other way around im almost 16 but my boyfriend is nearly 18. If its ok for girls to go out with older guys. why shouldnt guys go out with older girls? personally its probally better that way as guys are usually ... (read in full...)

I am 16 years old and I love my 35 year old teacher...

Q.   I am 16 years old, I love my 35 year old teacher, he has had a wife and 3 children. We often send messages to each other. I am willing to be his second wife. What should I do to make him propose me?...

A.   23 August 2007: I really dont think this is a good idea. Most pupils have a crush on a teacher at some point, as they a a figure of authority. You often look up to them. For a start this is likely to just be a phase, maybe at the moment no guys your age are show... (read in full...)

I am 16 years old and I love my 35 year old teacher...

Q.   I am 16 years old, I love my 35 year old teacher, he has had a wife and 3 children. We often send messages to each other. I am willing to be his second wife. What should I do to make him propose me?...

A.   23 August 2007: I really dont think this is a good idea. Most pupils have a crush on a teacher at some point, as they a a figure of authority. You often look up to them. For a start this is likely to just be a phase, maybe at the moment no guys your age are show... (read in full...)

Do I wait to tell my mum that I'm moving in w/ my guy after he has the flat?

Q.   any idea how i can break it to my mum i wanna move in with my boyfriend. In a few months i can legally move out. Im almost 16 and my boyfriend is 17. we can aford it and everything. Do i tell her now or wait till he's got the flat? and what am i ...

A.   17 August 2007:  SORRY I $GOT 2 LOG ON! i told my mum last night, we had a girly night without my step dad. she didnt say much. she asked how were we gonna aford it and i explianed how. Then she kinda went quiet, i said its not deffinate it still depends... (read in full...)

I am skinny and my friends tell me to gain weight! Is being thin ...ugly??

Q.   is being slim, ugly ? i'm really skiny not anorexic but like those skiny models but my friends say that i need to gain more weight!!!...

A.   21 May 2007: slim is mostly considered a good thing. But yes sometimes if ur rele skinny i personally think it can look abit weird. im size 8/10 but my boyfriend is still skinner than me which is abit weird n i dont exactly find sexy. He's really bony. But i... (read in full...)

I want my friend to accept my new style, but she calls me name. What can I tell her?

Q.   I'm starting to turn into an emo. I have dyed my hair black and I really feel like one but My best mate that I have known for 8 years doesn't like them and she doesn't like what Ive become and I hang around with all the goths and emos now and She ...

A.   14 May 2007: This happened to me to. just be urself tell her ur the same person just coz u look different. if she still doesnt understand then she isnt worth being mates with. i now hang around with a mix of people styles wise. however i dnt always feel i fit in ... (read in full...)

He woke me up, put his penis in my mouth and told me to SUCK!!!

Q.   I love my boyfriend very much, but my friends think he's no good for me. He always tells me how sexy I am and how he thinks Im amazing in bed. I don't see how this is 'using me' as my friends think. The only thing that disturbs me, is that ...

A.   7 May 2007: Doing things to you while your asleep i find a bit perverted but if ur ok with it. i guess theres no problem there. One thing i've learnt is never listen to your friends, i know they are looking out for you but you have to make ur own decisions in ... (read in full...)

I told my bf he could take my virginity but now I'm scared! Help!

Q.   Im only 14 And im still a virgin. i told my boyfriend he could take my virginity but now im a little scared to let him take after all i am only 14. i really do like him and wuld do anything for him and i do want him to take my virginity but im not ...

A.   7 May 2007: No if your not sure deffinatly no. It will be better for both of you when you are ready. I knw its illegal at your age but personally i wouldnt think of it as legal/ illegal i'd think about when your ready.... (read in full...)

He doesn't want to be with me because he's scared I will hurt him again! What can I do?

Q.   I Was with this guy for nearly 2 months. The past week or two we started to argue quite abit.He threatened to break up with me n coz i was angry n upset i said fine! Neither of us rele wanted to break up. He knws i wanna get back with him and i have ...

A.   27 April 2007: thanks 4 ur help. He called me last night, amazingly!we spoke for over an hour. We both think the other person doesnt show that they love them enough. We both need to tell eachother how we are feeling more. we also both spoke about a few things the ... (read in full...)

His mates have put a bet on with him as to whether I'll have sex with him or not!

Q.   Im 15, 16 in december. My boyfriend is nearly 17. We really like each other and i dont think i have ever felt like this with a guy before. We are very open with each other and are both virgins.I was thinking about losing my virginity to him once we ...

A.   9 March 2007: yer i said to him about i was annoyed coz if we did sleep together he'd tell all his mates. He told me he wouldnt and got pissed of that i thought he would do that.... (read in full...)

How can I win my boyfriend back again?

Q.   I want my ex-boyfriend back. I'm 15 hes' 16. We made plans to stay together forever. He cheated on me first then 4 mths later I did the same to him. His dad doesn't like me. Now he's dating one of my friends. My heart is broken real bad. I've been ...

A.   16 February 2007: This is a tricky problem as he is with your mate. You only really have two options. Wait till him and your mate split up and tell him out you feel. Or discreetly tell him now how your feeling and that you miss him, but theres a risk of loosing your ... (read in full...)

How can I appeal to guys more?

Q.   I really want a boyfriend but i don't want to be all desperate and make a fool out of myself... I guess i look ok but not like really pretty or beautiful or anything... My friend is a bit slimmer than me so when she wears mini shorts and when ...

A.   16 February 2007: This has happened to me, i went out with my mate and she had like 3 guys after her whereas i had none. Just because your mate may be skinnier doesnt mean you cant attract guys. This attention she is getting is likely to be from the wrong kind of ... (read in full...)

Sweet 13 and never been kissed....

Q.   hey, i am 13 years old an ill be 14 in june and i haven`t kissed a guy yet!!! help!!!...

A.   15 February 2007: I felt exactly the same at your age. I got my first kiss when i was 14 1/2. Some of my mates are nearly 16 and still havent kissed anyone, its not a competition dont worry about it. If your worried about being bad all it takes is practise... (read in full...)

My friends tease me because my boyfriend's so young, should I dump him?

Q.   Hey, This Sounds Weird But Im 13 Years Old and I have a 10 Year Old Boyfriend.. I Know its Wrong But I really love Him! Everyone is Picking On me at School Because Hes Still at Primary School.. But I dont See Why its Sick cause We havent Kissed or...

A.   12 February 2007: Dont let it get to you. I have been in a similar position when i was your age. Im now almost 16 and my mates dont always like guys i date. But the way i look at it they arent the ones who are going out with him so its none of their business. If they ... (read in full...)

17 dating 13?

Q.   i am a normal male guy who just turned 17 and there is this girl who i have been talking to and we get along really well she says she likes me and i like her but she is 13 nearly 14 is this wrong if so why do i like her?? any help would be nice...

A.   3 January 2007: Im now 15 i went out with a 17 year old guy when i was 14. Things were fine i trusted him and knew he wasnt only after one thing and that he was a virgin. My parents and mates werent too worried as we had been friends for a long time. So i say go ... (read in full...)

I'm 13, started my periods but I think my body is too small for tampons!

Q.   I started my period, the next one is due next week and im really worried. i cant wear towels, im 13 but my pant size is very small and the towels are sticking out of them. they irrate me and go up my butt its digusting! I want to try tampons but i ...

A.   11 December 2006: Im nearly 15 and have only just started using tampons and still find them abit tricky. Are you sure your buying the right towels there are so many you can get these days there should be some that you can find comfortable. At first they can be ... (read in full...)

I have the chance to kiss the guy I love for the first time as part of a kissing competition he is having with his mate!

Q.   I'm expecting answers such as 'get as far away from him as possible' etc. to this question.. but I beg you to not say this. For the past 18 months i've been in love with this guy, who doesn't really know how he feels about me and changes his ...

A.   11 December 2006: If i was you i would kiss him but maybe move your hands around his body while doing it and maybe dont stop at one pull away and then you kiss him. Give him the message that you do really like him. That your not just in it for the fun. ... (read in full...)

Why do I always have to text her first?

Q.   Why don't they ever text first.? On my mobile phone I have this girls number. We're not an item but most would say we probably should be. One niggly little thing that I can't understand is that I always have to text her first. She never ever tex...

A.   5 November 2006: It works both ways i get annoyed coz this guy who appears to like me alot more than i like him but never texts me. I always do it first. I dont think they mean anything by it. Why dont u send her a text asking her.... (read in full...)

I'm going to a gig and he will be there how do I make a good first impression?

Q.   I Was about to get with this guy but it all went wrong. Anyway before i met this guy i had been talking to another guy online and we have loads in common. He stopped talking to me for a few weeks so i figured he wasnt interested but now he's ...

A.   21 October 2006: Any ideas what to do next i can get abit obsesive i dont want that to happen as it usual scares them away. Shall i invite him out with me and my mates to the pitz next week? Should i ask if he wants to go up the city? Or shall i just carry on talk... (read in full...)

I'm going to a gig and he will be there how do I make a good first impression?

Q.   I Was about to get with this guy but it all went wrong. Anyway before i met this guy i had been talking to another guy online and we have loads in common. He stopped talking to me for a few weeks so i figured he wasnt interested but now he's ...

A.   20 October 2006: Thanx for the advise. Night went well talked to him near the end.(i had to pluck up the courage) Asked if he'd had fun and told him about this stupid guy who came up to me. I got 2 hugs too!!! :D eee He gives such nice hugs! Thanx again ... (read in full...)

He has issues with trust from his past...so how do I get him to trust me??

Q.   Any advise on how to get a guy to gain trust in you? I havent done anything to ruin his trust in me we have recently met. We both like each other but he says he has issues with trust due to his past. Im nearly 15 and he's 17. I dont want to be ...

A.   19 October 2006: Update he now told me he doesnt like me anymore than mates now. We arent meeting up at the weekend. Its basically over :'( ... (read in full...)

I'm 13 and I like a 15 year old girl....have I got a chance with her?

Q.   hi, im 13 the girl i like is 15 have i got any chance with her or should i not get into things??...

A.   18 October 2006: Yes im 14 and the guy i like is 17 he seems to like me too he's taking me to the cinema at the weekend. I dont think age really has anything to do with it as long as she likes you there should be no problems. If she has a problem with the age then ... (read in full...)

help i am 14

Q.   i am 14 i havent started my period i have really small boobs what should i do help...

A.   5 October 2006: your are lucky about the period thing. Trust me i know you may not feel like your mature or what ever i was the same. But once it finally starts you soon regret hoping it would start sooner. As for the boobs thing they will grow in time dont worr... (read in full...)

I really like this 16 year old guy, im only 13 and a bit too shy to approach him!!

Q.   I really like this guy who is 3 years older than me ( 13 to 16), i know he likes me too but he has told my friends that im a bit young but he would go for me if i was older. I really want to talk to him but i dont know how to approch him because of ...

A.   27 September 2006: Im 14 and went out with a 17 year old. It lasted 2 weeks before he dumped me. You can give it ago if you really want to but be advised if he isnt too kean on the idea it isnt likely to go far. Sorry but maybe its worth a try anyway. Up to you.... (read in full...)

Will this have affected me long term ?

Q.   A few week ago i got close with this boy and he fingered me, ater a while it started to hurt when he was trying to put more fingers up. And it stil hurts abit now, im still a virgin and could this have had any affect on me or could i have lost my ...

A.   27 September 2006: Same happened to me. Apparently there is somethign which is normally broken when you first have sex but can be broken from doing this kinda thing too. Its ok it shouldnt hurt for too long. Yes you are still a virgin.... (read in full...)

I am starting to develop feelings for him, but he is giving me mixed signals. What should I do now?

Q.   Im 15 the guy i like is 16. I have only been talking to him for about a week and havent met him yet. We have so much in common and we get on really well. I think im starting to develop feelings for him. I told him this but im not sure if his ...

A.   27 September 2006: Ok thanx but what if he doesnt ever opening up?? I'll try and just be cool about stuff for now. Flirt abit but not give too much away keep him wanting more ha ha. thats good thing to do right??... (read in full...)

I really like this boy, but fear of being hurt is stopping me from asking him out. What should I do? Please help.

Q.   hiya. well i just wondering ive kinda fallin in love with this lad hes 14 im 13 by the way and ive liked him 4 over a year. I've never felf anything like this and ive had loads of crushes in the past but i no this isnt that. i love him so much i ...

A.   25 September 2006: Tell him go for it. You only live once. Its unlikly to be Real love at this age but you can still have a good relationship if he feels the same. Yes you will break up eventually but thats all part of life and we learn from it. If you feel no pain ... (read in full...)

He's in college and he wants to meet me

Q.   hey guys help me out here, i met this guy on myspace and he wants to meet me,heres the catch...hes in college and im in high school.i dont know what to do!!!...

A.   21 September 2006: I went out with a guy from college when I was only in high school. Its fine if you meet him the first few times with a mate in a busy area just in case. Im sure he's a lovely guy but you gotta be careful.... (read in full...)

I like him but, i was acting like his mam after he was sick

Q.   Hi i need sum help hi im a lass, n recently on a night out like 2 days ago my crush was sick n then i told him 2 go outside n i gave him my water n i told him to drink it n he said thanks for it and i also said ill get ya some food n i was the first ...

A.   5 September 2006: I dont think u were acting like his mum u were just concerned i have done the same to guy mates before wheather i fancy them or not. He has probally guessed you like him. Im sure he wont laugh at you give it a week or so so he forgets about the ... (read in full...)

I really like this girl, but dont want others to mock us....

Q.   I have liked this girl for ages now she knows i like her and has also liked me for ages too but its never gone any further. She wants to go out but im just concerned with what people will say or if to keep it secret or what. My parents know t...

A.   2 September 2006: ok update we are now together the only problem is my parents know i its kinda akward theres a atmosphere. I get really angry and upset i dunno how much longer the relationship will last.... (read in full...)

Whats wrong with ginger?!!

Q.   Hi, I dont understand, my boy mate has ginger hair and he finds it really dificult to get girlfriends. but I dont understand it, I have been out with ginger boys, I love ginger hair :D so why wont other girls go out with ginger haired boys???...

A.   2 September 2006: There is no problem with is my best mate is like crazy about ginger guys. Over here ginger is even kinda fashionable as some of teh popular scene kids dyed their hair ginger. I tried to dye my fringe blonde but it went wrong and ended up ginger i do ... (read in full...)

Why wouldnt he have called me ?

Q.   there was this really reaLLY fit guy that i was seeing, we went out on 2 dates and we talked on the phone and we went to the pictures and i gave him a hand job and then he went quiet and called me less and less and now he doesnt call me anymore and ...

A.   29 August 2006: sounds like maybe he was only after one thing or has found someone else sorry. have u tried texting him.... (read in full...)

I'm 14. How do I tell him I don't want to go further?

Q.   ok well ive been gd m8s with this boy 4 about a year now and 2 days ago we started seeing each other. I really like him but hes 16 and im 14 and I know he will want to go further with me and I dont know how to tell him how much i like him but not ...

A.   29 August 2006: i am 14 i have been old with older boys and i just make it clear I say there something i been worried about i wanna wait till im at least legal till i have sex. so far every guy has understood and said that it isnt what its cracked up to be anyway. ... (read in full...)

My GF is moving away and I really don't want her to!

Q.   ok im 14 and me and this girl have been going out for 2 months, but because of her past relationship with her mom and her experiences she has to move with her dad in New York. Right now we both live in Moorestown and we are both from new york. The ...

A.   18 August 2006: same happened to me my bf moved to warrington a few hours drive from where i am now. We tried having a long distance relationship but it didnt work. We still keep in contact and both agree if he moved back we would go out again. But for now we are j... (read in full...)

I have an embarrassing mole! Help.

Q.   im 15 and worried! i have a massive mole on my shoulder about the size of the tip of your finger! i dont wanna wear my bikini infront of the boys at school when we all go to the beach cos i think they will think its discusting :( its flat but i ...

A.   16 August 2006: yer i have about 20 that i can currently see even one on my cheek which i dont like.... (read in full...)

I have an embarrassing mole! Help.

Q.   im 15 and worried! i have a massive mole on my shoulder about the size of the tip of your finger! i dont wanna wear my bikini infront of the boys at school when we all go to the beach cos i think they will think its discusting :( its flat but i ...

A.   16 August 2006: my mate has one even bigger near her chest she used to get really worked up about it and wear really high neck tops. She used to get annoyed because she couldnt buy some of the tops she liked. But recently she has started to wear low tops and nobody ... (read in full...)

Happy camping?!?

Q.   Me and this guy I like went camping last night. He likes me too. I was drinking so I layed down in the tent. My sister stopped by and he said I was already sleeping. My sis and him started talking about me and he told her that he wasn't sure if I ...

A.   12 August 2006: he just sounds like a gentleman to me and he doesnt wanna scare u away. he wants to show you how much you mean to him.... (read in full...)

What can I do to help him make up his mind?

Q.   You may of read my posts before. theres this guy we both used to liek eachother and were gonna go out i got confused if my feelings were just friends. i spent the day with him recently and realised i do rele like him. he told me he doesnt like m...

A.   8 August 2006: thanx for ur advise it worked!!! and so quickly too he told me this mornign he's sure he fancys me. :)... (read in full...)

Can a seven year age gap work, is it worth taking the risk ?

Q.   Very longwinded, so sit tight. I am a 14 year old girl. I have always ran with an older crowd, most friends being 17+, no reason behind it just for some reason the people I meet and get along with are a few more years than I am. So here is my pre...

A.   6 August 2006: if you both like eachother go for it just make sure he isnt just after sex make sure things are clear. gd luck ... (read in full...)

*at14's friends

These are mutual friends, so *at14 has added them and they have added *at14!

Angel_A agony auntAngel_A
DrPsych agony auntDrPsych
guitarhero101 agony auntguitarhero101
kissesx0x agony auntkissesx0x
love_life agony auntlove_life
mcbirdie agony auntmcbirdie
Nish agony auntNish
rachal  agony auntrachal
sinead agony auntsinead
xxxsoulsistaxxx agony auntxxxsoulsistaxxx

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0937491999998201!