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... Send *oubleM a private message | | | *oubleM's profile:DoubleM currently resides in Fort Worth Texas, but has lived in southern California (Hollywood), Hawaii, Europe and North Africa as well as Texas. Attended the University of Texas. Now single (possibly forever) after three marriages, one of 20 years. Mainly tries to help with sexual issues. Views and opinions are very permissive and suggestions are often brief and to the point. |
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Why Women Can’t Separate Sex from Love
Q. Lila here~. The truth is, most women genuinely cannot separate sex from love. Even in our post feminist, equal opportunity culture, women are still hard-wired to expect love and sex to be combined. Heck, I was talking to a stripper about b...
A. 25 January 2010: Ok, I can agree, "heather108", that the "commitment" can be only temporary and agreed upon going in, but it is still, or should be, a commitment during the relationship unless understood otherwise. Just my opinion. Temporary sexual relationships are ... (read in full...)
Why Women Can’t Separate Sex from Love
Q. Lila here~. The truth is, most women genuinely cannot separate sex from love. Even in our post feminist, equal opportunity culture, women are still hard-wired to expect love and sex to be combined. Heck, I was talking to a stripper about b...
A. 23 January 2010: You have always seemed to have good insight "oldersister" and are correct that young women contribute to the response they have from men. I think that's what you mean. In other words, as long as women will cater to the men, then the men will take ... (read in full...)
Tantric sex...
Q. Tantric sex I'm interested in experimenting with it, what does it entail, can anyone give me any advice or point me to any websites that will help me? thanks...
A. 23 January 2010: In the simplest terms, it is a melding of love and sexual pleasures in a spiritual way with your being and with your partner. In essence, partners become one. ... (read in full...)
Stuck in a sex rut...
Q. I need to learn how to make sex more interesting for both me and my boyfriend. We still have a good sex life etc etc. but I want to learn how to surprise him. Well, not LEARN to be specific, but be given ideas. Im not failing epicially, I'd just ...
A. 23 January 2010: Be spontaneous about it. You're apparently quite young although legal in the U.K., and possibly therefore restricted in freedom of living arrangements, but when possible let your sex life be surprising.... (read in full...)
We had a group sex thing and now my g/f isnt talking to me
Q. my gf and I are both 22, we decided together we wanted to try a group swinging thing with an older couple. we met a cool older couple on line (54 female and 58 male) and met last night. During the thing my gf seemed to really enjoy herself, but once ...
A. 22 January 2010: Possibly the older man did some things for her that are far beyond your experience or knowledge to provide. Such may be the risk of exposing your girl to an experienced man. I'll admit some bias, since I'm obviously in that older and experienced ... (read in full...)
What causes me to cum so quickly?
Q. I'm 27 years old and when I have sex I tend to cum no more then 5 seconds. I guess I'm looking for a technical way to work on it and maybe a reason why it happens??...
A. 21 January 2010: Well the anonymous male responder does make a good point. Too much masturbation can indeed result in training for quick ejaculation. Still, too little information provided by poster to determine the situation. ... (read in full...)
How do I make a guy go nuts in bed?
Q. i am not what you call experienced in bed, I'm shy and body concious around men so I would like to know how I can make a guy go nuts in bed which I think will help my confidence x...
A. 21 January 2010: In my opinion "strontiumdog" offered very good initial perspective. Be adventurous, in other words, and just do whatever you wish. You provide very little information to go on here, but most men very much enjoy oral attention.
You could even ask ... (read in full...)
What causes me to cum so quickly?
Q. I'm 27 years old and when I have sex I tend to cum no more then 5 seconds. I guess I'm looking for a technical way to work on it and maybe a reason why it happens??...
A. 21 January 2010: You provide little information with which to suggest a solution, but one is to masturbate an hour or so prior to the sexual encounter with a partner.... (read in full...)
Why Women Can’t Separate Sex from Love
Q. Lila here~. The truth is, most women genuinely cannot separate sex from love. Even in our post feminist, equal opportunity culture, women are still hard-wired to expect love and sex to be combined. Heck, I was talking to a stripper about b...
A. 21 January 2010: You are quite right, in fact, perhaps MOST men have no such feeling about love and sex being necessary ingredients in the recipe of mutual happiness. But some men do, and you can find him. In my case, my age eliminates most possibilities, but your ... (read in full...)
Why Women Can’t Separate Sex from Love
Q. Lila here~. The truth is, most women genuinely cannot separate sex from love. Even in our post feminist, equal opportunity culture, women are still hard-wired to expect love and sex to be combined. Heck, I was talking to a stripper about b...
A. 20 January 2010: To your possible surprise, a positive answer from a man. Of course you are right, love and sex are meant to be synonymous. Each is part of the whole, and the same. One without the other is incomplete. You just need a better man. ... (read in full...)
I'm having a struggle with sex in our marriage...
Q. Struggle I'm really in a struggle with sex in my marriage. I feel really pressured into having sex with my husband and I'm not even sure he loves and wants to be with me. We have both made our mistakes in this marriage and I don't about our ...
A. 20 January 2010: The response from 'Angzw" makes good points. To me, it seems that this relationship needs much more friendship and sharing. To truly love and share exciting sexual intimacy, a couple must also be the best of friends. Then you become loving partners ... (read in full...)
My last g/f said I lacked in the bedroom department, now I worry about my new relationship
Q. I am a 23 year old male who has been single for 6 years. Back in 2004, when i was 16, i fell in love with a girl who i had a crush on all through primary and secondary school. We hooked up and all seemed good, until i found out she’d cheated ...
A. 18 January 2010: In my opinion, the very first thing you should do is totally shed this image in your mind that you have a "sexual problem." That very idea in your head is much more likely "the problem." Even a lack of extensive experience at your age should be of ... (read in full...)
I think I love my cousin, but in a romantic way, not a cousinly way
Q. I think I love my cousin, not in a family way. But he's not really my cousin, we were both adopted. Is it wrong that I like him in a Romantic way? Please help!!...
A. 17 January 2010: Whether this romance would be "wrong" may depend upon your family and the culture there in Australia. Since there is no familial blood line relationship, it would not seem to fall into the category of what many may call taboo or forbidden in the ... (read in full...)
D women still enjoy giving/receiving oral with condoms/dental dams?
Q. Do women enjoy giving blowjobs less if the man is wearing a condom? Will a woman be insulted if I don't know her very well and want to put one on before she goes down on me? I enjoy receiving oral sex quite a lot. Will I still enjoy it if I...
A. 17 January 2010: I've been told by a number of very qualified doctors, and it has been reported in the media, that the HIV scare is quite overblown, satindesire, but I admitted that caution is always advisable. I clearly stated, "Be careful of course, and make good ... (read in full...)
Sex worries because of his size!!!
Q. im a virgin and my boyfriend isnt, i have seen his penis before and it is rather big and thick, he has poked me a lot of times and the most with three fingers, is my hymen broken yet? and will sex be really painful with him seeing as he has a big ...
A. 17 January 2010: You should simply provide each other ample foreplay, preferably including oral stimulation, and that should moisten your vagina nicely. Then when intercourse is beginning, he just has to insert very slowly. Your vagina will gradually expand to ... (read in full...)
After 5 years what is a girl to do???
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We now have 2 kids together. I am worried about our relationship...it seems to be fading away slowly. For the last year he has been taking 30 to 45 minute showers. This made me wonder so I looked ...
A. 16 January 2010: You could seek some charitable relief to help pay the water bill while you also look for a better man. It's always a shame when children are involved, but even for their benefit, you need to find a real man to love you, appreciate you, and help love ... (read in full...)
I don't think he is into sex as much as I am
Q. My boyfriend just recently moved in with me dec 3rd. We have been together for over a year, we are both 20 years old and experiencing sexual problems. We have been sexual for about 4 months now and at first I just thought since he was a virgin he ...
A. 16 January 2010: All I can say is that it is very unusual for a 20-year-old man to have such trouble getting "up" for his girl unless he is either disinterested, mentally imbalanced, gay or numb in the head. ... (read in full...)
Gushing climaxes
Q. when I orgasm it spurts out in rather large amounts and (gushes) distance is this normal for most woman?...
A. 16 January 2010: You are apparently a rare "squirter." Enjoy it.... (read in full...)
D women still enjoy giving/receiving oral with condoms/dental dams?
Q. Do women enjoy giving blowjobs less if the man is wearing a condom? Will a woman be insulted if I don't know her very well and want to put one on before she goes down on me? I enjoy receiving oral sex quite a lot. Will I still enjoy it if I...
A. 16 January 2010: Well, as much as usually admire "satindesire" and much of her advice, she is obviously obsessed with STDs. And more rightly so, pregnancy. Condoms for everything! But really folks, most of us are not terminally affected with sexual plagues of some ... (read in full...)
He has trouble ejaculating and it's made me feel inadequate! Help!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a year. He was single when I met him but his ex has been particually nasty as she was annoyed he had moved on. She told me he had premature ejaculation when he was with her, but doesn't have it with me because ...
A. 16 January 2010: To hell with what this stupid ex-girlfriend says! You should show more maturity.... (read in full...)
He has NEVER gone down on me!!
Q. So, I've been dating a guy for about 4 months. I REALLY like the guy and we have a ton of things compatible. The sex has been pretty good as well. He is really good at the actual act, but he is not one for much foreplay. He NEVER once has gone ...
A. 16 January 2010: You are simply involved with an immature and selfish young man who has no idea about having good sex with a woman.... (read in full...)
Do women enjoy their clitoris being "tapped" on
Q. Do women enjoy men "tapping" or hitting their penis against the vagina, especially near the clitoris area. A couple of my mates said their girlfriends enjoyed doing so because it stimulates the clitoris. I would simply like to know your p...
A. 16 January 2010: Well it would seem that you are demonstrating some advanced interest here, so I'll add some response. After considerable oral for her, resulting in at least one orgasm, then grasp yourself below and slowly rub the head up and down her labia (lips) ... (read in full...)
The idea of my gf giving a guy a BJ is 'hot'..should we do it?
Q. I find myself really fantasizing about giving my gf a MMF as of lately. We have discussed it as a fantasy and at times she says she wants one too, although she wants a MFF as much as a MMF if not more. However, we watch porn together and she is ...
A. 14 January 2010: Sounds like a good way to end the relationship to me.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend I've never had an orgasm?
Q. Yesterday my boyfriend and I were having sex and I randomly got lightheaded when we were switching positions. I told him and he laughed and said something like, "What, did you have too big of an orgasm?" I just laughed and didn't really answer. I ...
A. 14 January 2010: The truth is always the best course, even if it hurts.... (read in full...)
Do women enjoy a bigger "load"?
Q. Do women enjoy seeing a bigger semen load from their man? Is it pleasing to you? Especially when he is inside you, do you think it feels good? thanks...
A. 13 January 2010: Some do if they are very much into oral, but I'm told they only feel some warmth when you cum in their vagina. ... (read in full...)
Do women enjoy their clitoris being "tapped" on
Q. Do women enjoy men "tapping" or hitting their penis against the vagina, especially near the clitoris area. A couple of my mates said their girlfriends enjoyed doing so because it stimulates the clitoris. I would simply like to know your p...
A. 13 January 2010: Some do when very aroused, but most I've known respond better to kissing and licking.... (read in full...)
Do women sleep around when they are in a boring relationship?
Q. Hi. Thanks in advance for any insight you may have on this matter. I am sort of hung up on my girlfriends past. She lost her virginity to her first boyfriend when she was almost twenty. Their relationship got very platonic and stale after a couple...
A. 13 January 2010: The answers to your questions are yes, yes, possibly, yes and no, yes and maybe. Yes, it CAN be typical at her age and under the circumstances. Yes, it CAN be a reaction to a previous boring relationship. Four or five guys (or more) within six ... (read in full...)
Trouble reaching a climax
Q. i am having trouble reaching a climax. I have sex approx every three days. I climax every 7 or 8 days. I am male 75 years old. What should I do?...
A. 13 January 2010: Some responders here may be ignorant of the fact that sex can be quite active and healthy well into the senior years. Sexual activity is a joy in life that can endure to the end, but age and health status can present challenges. You've provided ... (read in full...)
How do I get her in the mood and stop being so horny?
Q. Dear Cupid I've been having problems with my girlfriend and I don't know what to do anymore, I'm 19 and always horny and my girlfriend is 21. When we started going out we was having sex quite often but know after one and a half months she never...
A. 13 January 2010: My opinion is that when a girlfriend or wife seems to become bored with sex, especially when young, or when the woman rejects intimacy most of the time, the relationship is sinking like the Titantic.
If you are living together, as indicated by sayi... (read in full...)
Do you think he used me?
Q. ive been getting to know this guy..he'd call and text me everyday..he even rang me and texted me everyday other day when he was on holiday. he made me fall for him and i actually believe that he liked me too.. i went to see him.. and ...
A. 13 January 2010: It would sound that in this case, you were used. It is now up to him to respond and if he doesn't, then you must move on. Anything else would be fawning, and you do not want to go begging, do you? Just hope you enjoyed the sex with him, but remember ... (read in full...)
I can't attract girls!
Q. No matter what I do, I just cant seem to attract girls, and the rare occasions I do, They get bored and move on after a short while. (But that's another issue). I'm not very confident, so going out and meeting new people is a bit hard for me. I'm ok ...
A. 12 January 2010: I think that you have received a ton of good advice here. It all boils down to: Relax. Just be cool.... (read in full...)
How do we get that 'naughty' spark, back again?
Q. Ive been in a long-term long-distance relationship for over 3 years. We've had our share of challenges including trying to keep our sex life heated up. Our sex life has not been great for more than a year now. The distance keeps us apart for weeks ...
A. 12 January 2010: In my opinion, "Skit16" gets it right to talk with her AND LISTEN. But I suspect that you have done that repeatedly. And "softtouchmale2003" really speaks very well about what you can possibly do.
My wondering is whether you have applied ample oral... (read in full...)
Why Men Are WAY Better Than Sex Toys
Q. Lila here ~ It seems like everywhere I turn lately, someone is talking or writing about men being obsolete or in danger of extinction. It’s upsetting, and I want to assure you it’s not true. Take sex toys, for example. Men will NEVER be replace...
A. 12 January 2010: Woman, you have one helluva great attitude, and I like you sense of humor. Who are these complainers?... (read in full...)
I can't say no to the ladies!
Q. Help! I am a 24 year old male and the problem i have is to much sex/ relationships. Every weekend i go out and i will go through between 2 and 5 woman a weekend, i cannot say no! I am a good looking guy and very cheeky and flirt alot, i have settled ...
A. 12 January 2010: Hope you will excuse my sarcasm, but what a problem to have! If this clamoring to get into your britches by women continues, and it bothers you, then you could either go find a more quality girl away from the pubs and settle down, or seek the ... (read in full...)
I can't attract girls!
Q. No matter what I do, I just cant seem to attract girls, and the rare occasions I do, They get bored and move on after a short while. (But that's another issue). I'm not very confident, so going out and meeting new people is a bit hard for me. I'm ok ...
A. 12 January 2010: It is possible that you are getting a bit too anxious, and women can sense that. Relax, remain confident, and to some degree, act as if you don't care what girls think, Also, be sure to be clever and funny. Make off-the-wall comments that surprise ... (read in full...)
My wife is very dry when we have sex...why is this?
Q. Dear sir/Madam when I had sexual intercourse with my wife the vagina of my wife it is become very Dry I can not move my penis in side the vagina so what you suggest me for my wife she has to go to doctor to check this thing please let me know ...
A. 11 January 2010: Possibly not enough foreplay. She may simply not be "turned on" enough before you engage in intercourse.... (read in full...)
I feel really guilty...how do I come to terms with my past?
Q. I just finished college, and my last semester was one I unfortunately regret in many ways. I dated a guy for two years and he broke up with me right before first semester ended. He was my first serious boyfriend, and this hit me pretty hard. We ...
A. 11 January 2010: You cannot alter the past, darling. Just straighten up and move on. Do not blame yourself for what happened. Regret will only continue to hurt you. Future love with a good man will free you. Find him.... (read in full...)
Do other couples who've been together for awhile find it hard to stay sexually excited about each other?
Q. Concerned about a lagging sexual desire. Been with b/f 5 years, he's funny, interesting and incredibly sexy to me but lately neither of us have been in the mood for sex. He's on blood pressure pills, so I understand where his problem is coming from; ...
A. 11 January 2010: "Do other couples who've been together for awhile find it hard to stay sexually excited about each other?"
Yes. Simple answer but true. You have to work at staying excited about each other sexually. How? By being creative and open to variety in your... (read in full...)
I want to give my boyfriend an amazing blowjob!
Q. I want to give my boyfriend an amazing blow job, what should I do? I want it to be an amazing blow job. Explain please. Step-by-step would be nice too....
A. 11 January 2010: You can begin here, in the archives:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/tips-on-how-to-give-the-perfect-blowjob.html... (read in full...)
Is my fiancee cheating on me?
Q. Is my fiancee cheating on me? She is very happy to go to work every day. She is making lots of new friends and decided that she and I need to go out separately with our own friends. She went out of town a few weeks ago for the night with a "female" ...
A. 10 January 2010: Okay. You're a man, and your female fiancee might be muff diving with another female. If I were you, I'd normally be inclined to quietly drop the marriage plans, but see if I could get-in on the action. But there is a child involved.
Well, you guys... (read in full...)
Protection?
Q. Me and my bf are going to have sex for the first time. I'm wondering if being on the pill and useing a condom is pretty safe? Because I'm only 17 I don't want to have to use any other protection but I don't want to get pregnant. But is the pill and ...
A. 9 January 2010: Your plan is about as safe as possible if properly used.... (read in full...)
Handjobs and blowjobs?
Q. Ok, I'm almost 17 and i've never given a handjob or blowjob! Although my boyfriend has now suggested it, we've been going out for months now and I'm happy to do it. But I don't know where to start! I don't know what to do, I'm not thock lol, I just ...
A. 9 January 2010: Certainly there must be some video instruction online, but I do NOT recommend pornography. Of course, some degree of instruction may derived from porno, but most is an ugly depiction.... (read in full...)
Why does husband need to masturbate when I'm home?
Q. I have caught my husband masterbating and i'm wondering if there is something wrong with our sex life why do he feel he needs to do that when i'm in the house? I can see us doing it together or me watching but, he is doing it without me when i'm in ...
A. 9 January 2010: Even when married, partners will also spend some occasional time privately masturbating. If you never masturbate at all, I think it would be unusual. In my opinion, some masturbation alone by married partners does not portend a problem.
H... (read in full...)
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