A
female
age
36-40,
*shley101805
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We now have 2 kids together. I am worried about our relationship...it seems to be fading away slowly. For the last year he has been taking 30 to 45 minute showers. This made me wonder so I looked through the bathroom and found a tower of porn magazines. I told that it was ok as long as he watched it with me. This didn't go very far. Now I have went almost a month without any action. I asked him what it was.....he said he is to stressed and they kids are always awake. But I have set up date nights and all he does is sit there! He gets up every morning and does his "thing"! I have tried everything! Bought new outfits came on 2 him! And I even rub his back every night! Plz someone help! I dont know how much longer I can take this! And after 5 years what is a girl 2 do?
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male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (16 January 2010):
 The problem you quote is the problem of all most all married people. In routine sexual activity, sex itself loss its spark light, it is the same spark you both have experienced in your dating period, and cause you to decide for life long relationship. But, life long relationship is not relevant mechanism to preserve that early spark light. Actually you both might have dream, if not consciously but subconsciously that the spark light will automatically begin to turn in to 'enlightenment'. Your life demand full light, and not the spark of light.
In time you have lost your sex drive, and your husband want it to be preserved anyhow. However his way is not right way, as his way slowly turned in to habit, and not any light human life seek. He seek in watching porn, nude female, etc but nothing will happen, and what is happening is habit and addiction.
There is a way, once it was known to ancient people, termed as TANTRA. You as a female will learn quite brilliantly. simply do this thing: Give this term 'tantra' to Google search, and in response you will find lot of web pages, of course there you will see many garbage of porn, but few can be useful. I request you to study Tantra with your husband. Guarantee and surety is mine, that your acquired learnedness will make your life rich and wealthy, both spiritually and creatively.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (16 January 2010):
 You could seek some charitable relief to help pay the water bill while you also look for a better man. It's always a shame when children are involved, but even for their benefit, you need to find a real man to love you, appreciate you, and help love and raise the kids.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 January 2010):
Talk to him. He might be very stressed because of work and kids and such. Get talking to him again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): It could also be stress related in the shower its his time his space and i find if im stressed s shower is great have you tryed joining him to?
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A
female
reader, Summerlovesya +, writes (16 January 2010):
Well i had a similar problem.. I was with a guy for 3 yrs even through school and everything.. Anyways he started spending less and less time with me and eventually i found out he was cheating.. Anyway that could be happening to you? Couple signs: Leaves mysteriously, lame excuses for blowing off dates, strangely dressed....
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