A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 23 year old male who has been single for 6 years. Back in 2004, when i was 16, i fell in love with a girl who i had a crush on all through primary and secondary school. We hooked up and all seemed good, until i found out she’d cheated on me numerous times with her ex. When i questioned her about it, she told me its because i was lacking in the bedroom department, that sex had become more of a chore than a pleasure and she really didn’t want to be with me.The main problem was that sometimes i couldn’t keep an erection, and when i did, i had very delayed ejaculation, sometimes going for 3 and 4 hours without being able to ejaculate.As a result of this, i lost all my self confidence and stayed single (and without sex) for 6 years. Recently, however, i have found a new prospective partner. Things seem to be going really well, and since we’ve actually been friends, secretly fancying each other for a few years, we know one-another really well.I’m a bit scared about the bedroom issue though. She’s had a number of sexual partners, and i’ve only had one. This doesn’t bother me at all, what bothers me is the thought of what my ex said, and my complete lack of experience.I want to have children one day and i feel that i never will because of these problems.Should i be worried, and what is the best way i can go about sorting my sexual problems?Many Thanks
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cheated on me, confidence, crush, ejaculate, ejaculation, erection, fell in love, her ex, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (18 January 2010):
 In my opinion, the very first thing you should do is totally shed this image in your mind that you have a "sexual problem." That very idea in your head is much more likely "the problem." Even a lack of extensive experience at your age should be of little concern. Whatever the age, we all go through these phases.
That gal, your ex, has planted a curse in your head that you simply need to get rid of, and I'll venture that all will be fine if you can go past that. Being a bit inclined to "delayed ejaculation" not a problem either. Many your age have the totally opposite issue of getting off way too fast, which is worse. Trust me dude, advice from an older man, just clear your mind of negativity and all will be fine.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 January 2010):
Being inexperience ins't a bad thing. I think you'll find women are more annoyed by guys who think they're experience and don't listen to what they actually want. Just listen to the girl and you'll be fine. She will guide you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks.
That makes me feel somewhat easier about the situation.
Perhaps you're right. Maybe being inexperienced isn't really a bad thing.
Its nice to get another guys perspective on it, someone who doesn't know me, and someone who won't mock me because of it.
I have a lot of immature friends, so talking to them about it isn't really an option.
Thanks again!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 January 2010):
Don't worry. Your ex was a rather immature young woman who dind't really know what she was doing either. The fact is all men need guiding to their woman's needs. Your ex didn't guide you because she didn't know what she was doing. And to cheat on you really shows how lousy she was. It wasn't your fault. When it comes to it, be honest that you don't have that much experience. Your girlfriend will be able to give you all the guidance you need. All you need to do is listen to her and not panic, and you'll be fine. Your ex was just a really lousy girl I'm afraid.
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