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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Is my FWB situation turning into love? What are your thoughts?
Q. I have had a friend with benefits for about 7 months now. He made it very clear that he would never ever be anything more than friends with me, ever. He told me over and over not to fall in love with him because he would never ever let himself ...
A. 17 October 2008: I'm very happy to hear that I was wrong. Good luck and best wishes!... (read in full...)
The Understanding Male Species...or not?
Q. After reading several of the replies submitted by Agony Uncles here on Dear Cupid, I have come to realise, or should I say, believe, that the majority of them are really very sympathetic, kind, loving, caring ~ but most of all understanding. But ...
A. 25 July 2008: Sorry BigSis for highjacking your article.
Q, aren't your one two dangling from the rearview mirror of an ex's Chevrolet?... (read in full...)
The Understanding Male Species...or not?
Q. After reading several of the replies submitted by Agony Uncles here on Dear Cupid, I have come to realise, or should I say, believe, that the majority of them are really very sympathetic, kind, loving, caring ~ but most of all understanding. But ...
A. 24 July 2008: Ah, the Steve Miller Band. Great song. But mind the double entendres, they can trip you up!!!
... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 17 July 2008: Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table and next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up ... (read in full...)
I don't want my mom working at my school invading my space! What can I do to convince her?
Q. Well my mom has decided to take a job at my school. As the detention lady. Great. Not that I'd see her at all..I don't get detentions or anything. That's not the point. The point is that she's coming to work at my high school and high school is like ...
A. 15 July 2008: I apologize for making you upset with my answer. I wasn't trying to be sarcastic, I was trying to be witty. And flubbed it totally, it seems.
I do know what it is like to have your mom work at the school, honestly. And I have some remembra... (read in full...)
My wife told me she would cheat on me with George Clooney if she had the chance!!!
Q. Guys, would it bother you a lot if this happened to you? My wife and I were watching tv last night where a woman was asked a question, if George Clooney asked her to have sex with her and there was no way she could get caught would she cheat on her ...
A. 14 July 2008: Daniel, thanks for bringing me back to my senses. You of course are correct that we have gotten off the topic of the question. Poster, honestly, I was not mocking you, I was off in a little daydream.
Ask older sister, Uncle Phil, Eyeswide... (read in full...)
My wife told me she would cheat on me with George Clooney if she had the chance!!!
Q. Guys, would it bother you a lot if this happened to you? My wife and I were watching tv last night where a woman was asked a question, if George Clooney asked her to have sex with her and there was no way she could get caught would she cheat on her ...
A. 14 July 2008: Oldersister, thanks for reminding me of Tom Beringer, Gabriel Byrne, and Ralph Fiennes! Justin, Barry, not so much for me, but I can see their appeal. Also Patrick Stewart (Captain Jean-Luc Picard)... oh and Pierce Brosnan and Harrison Ford. Not to ... (read in full...)
My wife told me she would cheat on me with George Clooney if she had the chance!!!
Q. Guys, would it bother you a lot if this happened to you? My wife and I were watching tv last night where a woman was asked a question, if George Clooney asked her to have sex with her and there was no way she could get caught would she cheat on her ...
A. 14 July 2008: Orlando Bloom, Jude Law, Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt (up until he left Jen), early Robert Redford, Paul Newman at any age, Viggo Mortenson, Heath Ledger :'(, John Travolta, the star of 'The Man from Snowy River' as he looked in the film (Tom Burlinson), ... (read in full...)
My wife told me she would cheat on me with George Clooney if she had the chance!!!
Q. Guys, would it bother you a lot if this happened to you? My wife and I were watching tv last night where a woman was asked a question, if George Clooney asked her to have sex with her and there was no way she could get caught would she cheat on her ...
A. 14 July 2008: Eva Longoria and my husband in the same situation, without me ever knowing about it? Well, he might say yes too. But honestly, I really doubt that will happen, and I'm not going to lose one second of good sleep worrying about something that will not ... (read in full...)
How do I get back into work with a 10-month old baby?
Q. hi. im having a career dilemma. ive got a 10 month old boy and i really want to start working. but the thing is i want to work from home and have my own hours. im really interested in writing, but dont know how to start, you know maybe be an agony ...
A. 11 July 2008: Hi, ChiRaven and Ask oldersister have given some good feedback on this suggestion. I have a website that may be a good place to start if you are really determined to become a writer.
http://writers.internet-resources.com/
Good luck and congrat... (read in full...)
We had a quarrel via the phone and now he switched his mobile off. I am tempted to talk to his mother, help?
Q. Basically ... I was going to meet up with my boyfriend today. 10 minutes before I get on the bus, he calls to tell me that he's not ready, and wants to put it forward by a day. We see each other every 2-3 weeks. I flipped ... kinda, I was probably...
A. 11 July 2008: I'm pretty sure he'll turn it on at some point today, and will see the missed calls... Just give both of you a little time to calm down.... (read in full...)
We had a quarrel via the phone and now he switched his mobile off. I am tempted to talk to his mother, help?
Q. Basically ... I was going to meet up with my boyfriend today. 10 minutes before I get on the bus, he calls to tell me that he's not ready, and wants to put it forward by a day. We see each other every 2-3 weeks. I flipped ... kinda, I was probably...
A. 11 July 2008: I'm not really clear on how it would help to talk with him mother. Wouldn't that just be continuing the over-reaction you said you were having? And what can his mother do? She'll be forced to side with her son, that would be only natural. And you'll ... (read in full...)
What is my girlfriend's behaviour all about?
Q. My G\F does the following * Criticizes the mess i make in bathroom before i have chance to clean up * Criticizes how I prepare food, wash up, dry etc * Gets irritated if i leave a cup on table without coaster * complains if i get crumbs o...
A. 11 July 2008: Funny, this question sounds exactly like the one here, only with the hers/hims mostly changed. Well, not all of them were changed, there seems to be some gender confusion.
http:... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship, but I feel like I'm single!
Q. this guy has liked me for over a yr now. about 3-4 months ago we started dating. a few weeks ago, he got kicked out of his house and got a new job. he works A LOT, and when he's not working, he's hanging out with his friends. that leaves no room for ...
A. 11 July 2008: Dearkelja has totally taken the words right out of my mouth. Read her advice at least three times.
While I hope that you will get a happy resolution out of this situation, I think that he has taken the coward's way out, and you may never really k... (read in full...)
This is ridiculous! Should I cut my losses and just go?
Q. I'm 34 he's 30. Two years together just the other day. haven't moved in no sign of marriage. Do i cut my losses and just go. Have tried to walk away before this but he won't hear of it yet won't change it either by doing things like move in or get ...
A. 11 July 2008: I heard the same excuse. Do what I did. Give him 'the ULTIMATUM'. Decide how long you can live with 'gradual.' Tell him exactly what that is for you. Do it lovingly and with great good humor and hope. Let's just say it's one year. (You might choose ... (read in full...)
Looking for more attention in the bedroom, from my wife, what do I do?
Q. My wife will not touch me in the bedroom. She enjoys foreplay and missionary. Nothing else really excites her. We have talked about this many times but she just blows it off and changes the subject. What do I do?...
A. 11 July 2008: Smiles, I think I would go ahead with the advice you'd like to give. The system is not perfect. And there might be other people who would benefit from your wise advice.
Tisha... (read in full...)
Would you sleep with a man knowing that he flirts with most females that come his way?
Q. Would you sleep with a man knowing that he does flirt with most females that come his way? he is aged 56 and wanted sex with me on holiday but I didnt "do it". then we met up and all he talked about was other women he liked flirting with-which, ...
A. 11 July 2008: I think you did the right thing for you. He sounds like a man who is full of himself, generous to his own ego, but not to others. Actually, his bravado may be hiding a very insecure man. If he was so great, why would he need to brag about his past ... (read in full...)
I am 7 months pregnant and my boyfriend does not want to stop having sex...
Q. Im 17 and my bf is 23. i am 7 months pregnant and he does not want to stop having sex. i get tired and just wanna be loved. be4 i got pregnant we would have sex 5 times a day and he loved it but i cant do it anymore. hes the only person im allowed ...
A. 11 July 2008: Hi, your post sounds like you are very unhappy. And that you aren't 'allowed' any friends? What about your family? I think this isn't a very good situation for you, from what you've told us.
Who has decided that he is the only person you are allo... (read in full...)
I am not in love with my wife any more. I need to decide what to do.
Q. I have been married for 18 years and together with my wife for 21. We have three great kids aged from 10-16. My wife is a wonderful person who loves me unconditionally. The problem is that I truly am not in love with her anymore. I care about her ...
A. 10 July 2008: Sorry, I'm not quite understanding what she is missing in your equation for a happy marriage. It sounds like you are at the crossroads, and she is not. What is it that is lacking that counseling did not cover?
Best friends?
Lovers?
Co... (read in full...)
I don't want my mom working at my school invading my space! What can I do to convince her?
Q. Well my mom has decided to take a job at my school. As the detention lady. Great. Not that I'd see her at all..I don't get detentions or anything. That's not the point. The point is that she's coming to work at my high school and high school is like ...
A. 10 July 2008: Hi, I think I may know your mother. She is the really embarassing woman who shows up unannounced and is generally considered by you and your friends to be about as welcome as a puppy with diarrhea and bladder control issues in an oriental carpet ... (read in full...)
I am happy with my boyfriend, even though he is 28 years older than I am, does the age difference matter, if the relationship is working??
Q. i am currently going out with sum1 28 years older then me ever since i've met him i've felt happy and more confident he supports me in everything i do. but then there's my dad who's telling me he's just using me and also my sister who wont talk to ...
A. 10 July 2008: People in similar circumstances to yours have managed to have successful relationships and marriages. But I have to ask you, why does your father think he is using you. And goodness, if my sister stopped speaking to me, I know that there was ... (read in full...)
My wife had an abortion before we met, now I don't want her.
Q. How to address this situation. I have been married for 23 years and very happily. We have 2 boys and they are now adults. I received an email from a site that revealed someone looking of my wife of 23 years. It turns out that the person is an ex ...
A. 10 July 2008: Thank you for your update. I wish you and your wife a happy future, with many more good memories together. I hope that your love for her will grow stronger and not be diminished by this tragic mistake.
With my best wishes.... (read in full...)
My friend is grief stricken, and not coping well with the death of her fiancee, what can I do to help?
Q. About four months ago, my best friend proposed to his girlfriend, who is also one of my best friends. On the way home after he proposed, a drunk driver crashed into his car. He was in a coma for a few days and came out of it eventually, but he died ...
A. 10 July 2008: First of all, let me offer my condolences to you. You've lost your best friend too and are going through mourning as well.
Second, I think that you are a really good person to be so worried about her and to want to help as best you can.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to be cheap, is it just my imagination, or is he really a tightwad?
Q. I have been seeing a man for about 2 months. Great Guy. I am 39 and he is 43. Good dad, hard worker. He has two children, I have 3. I am writing to ask if he is just frugal or if you think he is really cheap. Went to a concert with him. He ...
A. 10 July 2008: Okay, I don't get the case of beer either. But maybe you could try to take this tack with him: you each pay for your share of whatever entertainment you'll be sharing. Dinner, you split. Concert tickets, you split. And so on. It could be just a ... (read in full...)
How do I stop my friend, from being so very bossy?
Q. I'm an aveage pre-teen and i'm asking whether anyone can give me advice on how to stop my friend being bossy. e.g. She bossed me into dumping my b/f!! ¬...
A. 10 July 2008: The only way to stop her being bossy is to stop listening to her when she is bossy. Either you dump her as a friend altogether, or just say 'uhhuh uhhuh uhhuh' when she starts being bossy, let your eyes glaze over, let her finish talking then say ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this bullying and nastiness?
Q. hi everyone I am not sure if this is the right place to come but I seem to have run out of places for help. Ok my problem is this. I am an Australian girl who is living in England. The problem is I hate it, my dad is here for work for another 2 ye...
A. 10 July 2008: Hi, what an awful situation to be in. I'm glad that you're asking for help because that is a sign of great courage to me.
The thing to keep in mind is that these girls are small-minded, petty, b*tches who will remain just that long after you have... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 10 July 2008: More Boudreaux jokes....
---
Two cousins started school together. The teacher was asking everybody their names. When she got to the first cousin, he said, “Poo Poo.” She said she was not going to put up with such behavior and asked him again. “... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 10 July 2008: Father Scola could make some good sermons. One day he was talking on the Ten Commandments and, boy, did he get excited. He was jumping up and down. Beating on the pulpit. He said you have to obey the Ten Commandments. He said everyone has sinned and ... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 10 July 2008: Boudreaux, Shawee, Cowan and T-Brud were playing a round of golf with a $200 wager on the match. Boudreaux had a 10-foot putt on the 18th green to win the money. He eyed the break from every angle and was meticulous in setting up to stroke the ball. ... (read in full...)
I believed women are devils to deceive men - but I want to change
Q. ex me 4 my en in the past i had a terrible love feeling with one of my classmate and after that i believed some : - women are devils to deceit men - love is a ordinary matter that every one may face with - girls and women try to .... me (can't ...
A. 10 July 2008: Hello, Mehr, I think that you have had your heart broken by a woman, and that this now makes you worry about trying to start a relationship with another woman? I appreciate you trying to write in English, it must be very difficult to try to express ... (read in full...)
My husband has an inappropriate relationship with his yoga instructor. What should I do?
Q. I am a married 47 year old woman who has been married for 17 years. My husband is a salesman...he is on the road constantly....he pretty much does and has the freedom to do whatever he likes. Recently my husband has become extremely friend...
A. 10 July 2008: I'm with you on this one, I think. Over the course of a marriage, both partners will inevitably encounter some temptation and I don't think it is unusual to develop a 'crush' on someone else. BUT, that's all it should be, I think, a 'crush' that is ... (read in full...)
I feel like I can't trust my boyfriend - is it just me?
Q. I wish there was a magic wand that could make me feel better. In just over one week, I lost my best mate because she died, then had to go for tests at the hospital (have to wait two weeks for the results) came back to work found my fella looking at ...
A. 10 July 2008: Right, there is no magic wand for this. But let's come up with a game plan to get you through the next few weeks, while you wait to hear about your test result.
First of all, your boyfriend is NOT helping you at this point. He should be supporti... (read in full...)
Where do I "go" when I have to pull out?
Q. This is kind of a strange question but here goes. When having sex with an unfamiliar partner, where do you "cum" when you need to pull out? Is there some kind of ettiquette with this kind of thing? Seriously I never know what to do when that moment ...
A. 9 July 2008: You've had some good advice here and I just wanted to add one thing. This question really ticked me off for some reason and I just realized why.
You say you know all about STDs. Tell me what you know about HPV.
Human papilloma virus.
Becau... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't get a job!
Q. Ok...I have been dating this guy for 7 months and he won't get a job. It's driving me nuts. We are both 23 and I have helped him so much, as far as looking for jobs online while he is at home. I don't give him money, but on the weekends I do ...
A. 9 July 2008: Tell him that you've started saving for your retirement, and that the money that you invest now will be worth much more later. Therefore, you're now on a strict budget of spending money on leisure activities, and that you can't afford to float him ... (read in full...)
Is my FWB situation turning into love? What are your thoughts?
Q. I have had a friend with benefits for about 7 months now. He made it very clear that he would never ever be anything more than friends with me, ever. He told me over and over not to fall in love with him because he would never ever let himself ...
A. 9 July 2008: I think one of the biggest mistakes women make in their relationships with men is not listening to them when they tell you something. If a man tells you that you will never be more than a friend to him, he actually means it. He's not being mean, I ... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid for thinking we still have a chance? My fiance said he's not attracted to me anymore!
Q. My live in fiance'of four years just told me one day that he wasn't attracted to me anymore because I gained too much weight and he wasn't in love with me anymore. He was breaking up with me and moving out. He added that since I postponed our ...
A. 9 July 2008: I've read this thread and have come to one conclusion. This man is playing with your heart, and you are allowing him to do so. He is looking out for number one indeed, only that number one is himself. Everyone else, and that includes you, falls a ... (read in full...)
He said the spark is gone, but he still wants to be with me.
Q. My boyfriend of a year and a half recently told me that our "spark" has gone and he doesn't love me in the same way as he did before, this absolutely devastated me and when he told me I immediately moved in 2 the spare room and cried myself to ...
A. 9 July 2008: This is very hard for you, I'm sure. I have no idea what has changed in him, but maybe there's something else going on in his life that has eliminated his sexual desire for you. There's a whole list of these possibilities, from a medical issue to ... (read in full...)
Looking for more attention in the bedroom, from my wife, what do I do?
Q. My wife will not touch me in the bedroom. She enjoys foreplay and missionary. Nothing else really excites her. We have talked about this many times but she just blows it off and changes the subject. What do I do?...
A. 9 July 2008: I agree with Eyes here, you need to try to talk with her again. This is not a healthy sex life. She doesn't touch you at all? How long have you been married? Is this a recent development, or has it been this way all along? Do you or she have any ... (read in full...)
I love him, but can I trust him, also why is he mean to me?
Q. I need advice urgently..... I need to break this down because its a long story. I was seeing a guy on and off for 6 years. He had never really been particularly nice to me during the period and it was more off than on. However towards the end ...
A. 9 July 2008: Hooboy, Smiles is sooo right here. You know what you need to do; this man is not good for you or your self-esteem. I would end contact with him as soon as you can as I do not think he will ever be the right man for you. Being nasty, cheating on you, ... (read in full...)
He's addicted to porn but he's perfect in every other way. I don't know what to do.
Q. I'm pretty depressed right now. I've been with my 42 year old boyfriend for 3.5 years. I am 40. At the start of our relationship he was upfront about his porno tapes. About 6 months later when feelings started developing I became insecure with ...
A. 8 July 2008: This is for marieclaire. You asked for some data on porn viewing in animals. I remembered one study reported on the news and have found it, I think, on google. I expect there might be more out there, but I expect this is really low on the ... (read in full...)
I am afraid he was just using me for sex, and he might have HIV
Q. I really like this guy alot. There was rumours going around about him having HIV. The other night a bunch of us got real drunk. We were about to have sex, when I was like, "No, I need to talk to you about something first" So I straight up asked him ...
A. 8 July 2008: Time to talk with your parents. Don't take a risk with your health. Ask oldersister is dead on right with this....... (read in full...)
My wife had an abortion before we met, now I don't want her.
Q. How to address this situation. I have been married for 23 years and very happily. We have 2 boys and they are now adults. I received an email from a site that revealed someone looking of my wife of 23 years. It turns out that the person is an ex ...
A. 7 July 2008: How old was your wife when she had this abortion? Was she 13, 14 15, 16, 17? I'm asking because your age is listed as 36-40, and you've been married 23 years, so I'm guessing that you were married when you were 17? So if she's in the same age ... (read in full...)
How Do I React To Flowers From My Ex?
Q. Has anybody ever received flowers from an exboyfriend after you had broken up with them? Specifically, if you had only been seeing eachother for a couple of months... Did they send them to your work? What was your reaction? Just trying to sort out ...
A. 7 July 2008: Now it depends on how and why you broke up and who broke up with whom?
Thanks for the followup, that helps a lot!... (read in full...)
How Do I React To Flowers From My Ex?
Q. Has anybody ever received flowers from an exboyfriend after you had broken up with them? Specifically, if you had only been seeing eachother for a couple of months... Did they send them to your work? What was your reaction? Just trying to sort out ...
A. 7 July 2008: Flowers at work are tricky, I think. They invite personal questions from people you would prefer to keep on a purely professional level. Don't get me wrong, flowers can be very nice to receive, but if they cause embarassment to the recipient then ... (read in full...)
Am I alone in my fight against my husband's methane emission problem? Talk to me!
Q. Totally weird question I know, but it drives me nuts... You know in that special way only a husband can do to his wife :-) (Just before I start: I love my husband and we dont have any major relationship problems, he is a sweetie most of the time...
A. 7 July 2008: I like Uncle Phil's approach here. I've got another one. Think of this as a two-pronged military campaign. One is the obvious counterattack, the other, a stealth mission to stop the wind before it blows...
The counterattack is simply an olfactor... (read in full...)
I want my ex back, but she says I 'scare' her!
Q. Its been a year and a half since i split up with my ex who im still in love with. I realised i couldnt be without her and tried to get her back but she was very confused and possibly shocked at my revelation. she text me the next morning to reveal t...
A. 7 July 2008: I have to say that it doesn't sound promising for you. If she hasn't contacted you after 4 months, my guess is that she has moved on. The fact that she has chosen not to give you her new number speaks volumes to me. She doesn't want to talk to you, ... (read in full...)
I am afraid he was just using me for sex, and he might have HIV
Q. I really like this guy alot. There was rumours going around about him having HIV. The other night a bunch of us got real drunk. We were about to have sex, when I was like, "No, I need to talk to you about something first" So I straight up asked him ...
A. 7 July 2008: This is quite a scare you've given yourself. I agree with the other aunts who suggest that you get yourself tested. Your parents need not know about this, your age of 22-25 indicates that you are an adult and have a right to medical confidentiality. ... (read in full...)
The Understanding Male Species...or not?
Q. After reading several of the replies submitted by Agony Uncles here on Dear Cupid, I have come to realise, or should I say, believe, that the majority of them are really very sympathetic, kind, loving, caring ~ but most of all understanding. But ...
A. 7 July 2008: Wow! BigSis, you sure know how to attract a crowd! And a fun party it is too, q1605, Diovan, Oldersister, Collaroy, etc... I like the new backbone, it looks great with that tan. So here's hoping that you find the guy that has the whole package; they ... (read in full...)
Is there any chance of getting pregnant on your period?
Q. Hello, I have been wondering lately, if there would be any possiblity of geting pregnant on your period. Because last weekend my boyfriend came inside me. But he told me not to worry because i cant get pregnant on my period. He said theres like a o...
A. 3 July 2008: I would recommend that you be in control of your own health and do some more research, both here and at sites like webmd.com and plannedparenthood.org
From what I've learned at plannedparenthood.org, it's not likely, but it can happen. If your men... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 9 May 2008: BigSis, you learn AAALLLL kinds of things here on DC! Quite an ejimication... Sorry, Unky Phil, for the *gasp* factor!
And I've got some great new jokes from this thread, ta for that!... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 9 May 2008: Ooh, is that a possible treatment option for frenulum breve?... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 8 May 2008: Mandy, those are priceless! I am HOWLING, hope none of the neighbors call the men with the padded vans and those little jackets with the extra long arms...
And Birdy, BigSis and the rest of you lot, I have had to run to the loo, my darlings... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 28 March 2008: Oh, BigSis, you know how to brighten up the day!!! Those council letters are priceless!!! Thank you for the belly laughs.... (read in full...)
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