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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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I think I'm in love with someone older than me!
Q. Hi my name is Katie and well I like this guy who is 5 years older than I am. I think that he likes me too but he seems to act differently when he is around his family than when he is alone. See, I think that the reason I am even attracted to him ...
A. 31 July 2008: I agree wholeheartedly with what Artistry said here. It's a que sera, sera situation.
I wouldn't spend too much time trying to analyze his actions or try to figure out what he's thinking. He's a guy, and they are often difficult for us women to unde... (read in full...)
We've had a complicated over cautious relationship - what do I do now?
Q. Hi, the more opinions the better please, this one has me stumped! I started seeing a guy around mid April, we were boyfriend/girlfriend but keeping it quite casual as I'd just come ut of a long relationshipo and he's often busy with work and is ...
A. 28 July 2008: Hi, thanks for the follow up. I really am glad to know that my answer helped. I have to tell you that THE most important thing in any relationship is the ability to communicate. And that is talking and LISTENING and trying to understand what the ... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with someone older than me!
Q. Hi my name is Katie and well I like this guy who is 5 years older than I am. I think that he likes me too but he seems to act differently when he is around his family than when he is alone. See, I think that the reason I am even attracted to him ...
A. 28 July 2008: Hi Katie, thanks for the follow up. Wow, that IS a problem. He told his mother that he was uncomfortable with you 'always' being in the restaurant, AND that he has a big crush on a girl his own age?
Well, maybe he is feeling uncomfortable beca... (read in full...)
Is there someone out there for everyone? What if they live in another country?
Q. Hello. I'm 25, English and never had a proper girlfriend. I'm also a virgin. The truth is nobody wants me. People say you'll meet someone but I know I won't. I know this question gets asked more times but I would like some help. The problem is I ...
A. 25 July 2008: Wow, you certainly got a lot more feedback since I've checked in here. Sounds like things are looking a bit more positive? Excellent. Work on your strengths, you have quite a few!
I'm not qualified to tell a 20-something young British man what to w... (read in full...)
I'm trying to get pregnant. I need some advice.
Q. I want to get pregnant really bad but my tubes is tied but i have read plenty of time that people still got pregnant without the surgery is there anybody who would no what sex moves would help me and what pills to get me and my boyfriend know what ...
A. 22 July 2008: Hi, you really need to talk with your OB/GYN about this. If your tubes are tied, there is no position in the world that will get his sperm to fertilize one of your eggs. The way is blocked. Certainly you understand this?... (read in full...)
How do I move on if he won't let me go?
Q. I dated my husband for two years and we have been married for one year, so a total of three years off and on, much of which was long distance. During this time he has cheated on me with 2 different women, had an inappropriate relationship with his ...
A. 22 July 2008: His parents are terrified that you'll take their grandchild away and won't let them be part of your daughter's life. Remove that worry from their shoulders. Don't hold the baby as collatoral in this.
Go see that attorney and make sure you unde... (read in full...)
How do I move on if he won't let me go?
Q. I dated my husband for two years and we have been married for one year, so a total of three years off and on, much of which was long distance. During this time he has cheated on me with 2 different women, had an inappropriate relationship with his ...
A. 22 July 2008: What do the people who really really love you and know you two think about him? Your friends and family?... (read in full...)
How do I move on if he won't let me go?
Q. I dated my husband for two years and we have been married for one year, so a total of three years off and on, much of which was long distance. During this time he has cheated on me with 2 different women, had an inappropriate relationship with his ...
A. 22 July 2008: You're very welcome. I'm sorry that I was so negative about him, but I think that you need to get very smart about this. Why do you need to move out? He's the one who is untrustworthy and while I agree with you that divorce isn't something to be ... (read in full...)
My friend goes crazy when she is drunk and says nasty things about me that aren't true. I'm really upset by all of it.
Q. Hi everyone, Ok my problem is that i have a friend. She is one of the nicest people when she is sober but drinks wayyyy too much and goes crazy, sometimes its funny she doesnt do anything bad just dances and things like that but recently it has t...
A. 22 July 2008: I'm with oldersister on this one. If you are indeed worried about your boyfriend, it's a good idea to have a talk with him. If she cannot give you specific details when she's sober, then maybe she's just playing out a jealousy thing. Either way, she ... (read in full...)
How do I move on if he won't let me go?
Q. I dated my husband for two years and we have been married for one year, so a total of three years off and on, much of which was long distance. During this time he has cheated on me with 2 different women, had an inappropriate relationship with his ...
A. 22 July 2008: Okay, if he were my husband, his butt and the rest of him would be recovering from the rough landing he's just had by the forcible ejection he'd just had from me, strong enough to land him in the next county.
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twic... (read in full...)
My friend goes crazy when she is drunk and says nasty things about me that aren't true. I'm really upset by all of it.
Q. Hi everyone, Ok my problem is that i have a friend. She is one of the nicest people when she is sober but drinks wayyyy too much and goes crazy, sometimes its funny she doesnt do anything bad just dances and things like that but recently it has t...
A. 22 July 2008: I had a very good friend who drank to much too, she wouldn't acknowledge that had a problem. Her behavior while drunk finally led to me ending the close friendship. It would so upset me that I went to an Al-Anon meeting, where I learned that it was ... (read in full...)
Is my wife just down or is there something more to this?
Q. I've worked for 23 years and recently laid off my wife hardly wants to have sex and leaves 45 minutes early to work..she eventually said, she will break down to someone because she keeping everything inside. We are having hard time finaully. Is ...
A. 22 July 2008: I've heard that sometimes when men retire, and spend all their time at home, they can start to drive their wives crazy. (And quite possibly vice versa, I'm not trying to be sexist here.) I know it's a lay off, not retirement, but it is essentially ... (read in full...)
We've had a complicated over cautious relationship - what do I do now?
Q. Hi, the more opinions the better please, this one has me stumped! I started seeing a guy around mid April, we were boyfriend/girlfriend but keeping it quite casual as I'd just come ut of a long relationshipo and he's often busy with work and is ...
A. 22 July 2008: Hey, I'm guilty of being over 40, but I'm not sure that advanced age also conveys wisdom. ;)
Your question was a little confusing, to be honest, but tell me if I've got the gist. You've been dating this man exclusively since mid-April, so about two ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to get pregnant. I need some advice.
Q. I want to get pregnant really bad but my tubes is tied but i have read plenty of time that people still got pregnant without the surgery is there anybody who would no what sex moves would help me and what pills to get me and my boyfriend know what ...
A. 22 July 2008: Hi, if you've had a tubal ligation, it seems that this is a procedure that is very difficult to reverse. Once your Fallopian tubes are blocked, there is no way that an egg will be able to encounter any sperm for fertilization to occur.
http... (read in full...)
Bush wants to redefine birth control as "abortion", what do you think?
Q. This site seems to have a good cross section of folks from different walks of life, so I wanted to see what people out there think about this. The Bush administration is proposing a redefining of the term "abortion" to include birth control. The ...
A. 22 July 2008: Here's website where you can register your opposition to this proposed legislation.
http://www.ppaction.org/campaign/spp08sadv2
Obviously, only those who are of voting age and US citizens need use it.
... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to go down on her. How do I proceed?
Q. My girlfriend is great! I love her and want to stay with her for a long time! Problem is she wants me to go down on her. My concern is: how do I proceed?, do I need anything before doing it?, how do I do it?, and does it taste good? thx!...
A. 22 July 2008: Read this post. It should have something that will help you! And enjoy!
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-advice-do-you-have-about-giving-and.html... (read in full...)
Is there someone out there for everyone? What if they live in another country?
Q. Hello. I'm 25, English and never had a proper girlfriend. I'm also a virgin. The truth is nobody wants me. People say you'll meet someone but I know I won't. I know this question gets asked more times but I would like some help. The problem is I ...
A. 22 July 2008: Sorry, I've just realized that I haven't responded to you since your update.
Musical
Intelligent
Handy with cars
Look, you need to work on the self-confidence thing here. You are doomed the minute you walk out your door because you are projecti... (read in full...)
He gone cold because I was ill and couldn't see him. What do I do?
Q. Okay, Well Im 15, dating this 16 year old guy. My first time dating, hes been in previous relationships and I haven't. I had an accident and I wasn't able to leave the house for 6 weeks. Over those 6 weeks, things started getting a LITTLE w...
A. 22 July 2008: He sounds like he is very immature and has a lot of growing up to do. I'd chalk him up to experience, and move on. And quite frankly, I'd allow myself to feel angry at the way he'd treated me, instead of finding something else to blame. The accident ... (read in full...)
Struggling to know what to do about this girl who's in love with her ex...
Q. Hi Doc Love My name is andrew - I'm 36 years of age - divorced and have been single now for 4 years. In that time I have one 18 month relationship and have dated quite a lot of woman ( when I mean dated - what I mean is that I have taken a lot...
A. 22 July 2008: Sorry, Andrew, I think you do need to bite the bullet and move on. She's not responding because she really doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Sometimes women might play hard to get to encourage a man to chase them a bit, in this case, ... (read in full...)
I truly believe he is "the one". He said he doesn't believe in "the one". I feel used.
Q. I'm 17 and have been with my boyfriend since march 07, last night i asked him does he believe in 'the one' which he replied 'no', however i do believe in one and truly believe he is it. I know he loves me but for some reason i know feel used and ...
A. 22 July 2008: Hi, I think that girls tend to be more romantic than boys in general. Also speaking in superlatives, as in using words like: the most, the only, the best, always, forever, the 'one'; using these words is a wee bit dramatic. I know that you feel very ... (read in full...)
I really like her, but I don't want a good friendship to be ruined.
Q. I'm a 12 yr old male. I have a VERY good infact shes my BEST friend and shes almost 11 I really like her and im not sure but i think she likes me. She comes over to my house to play games watch movies ETC. She calls me almost every other day ...
A. 22 July 2008: Hi, thanks for the followup. I guess I'm a little confused too, as O Connor is.
You won't ruin a good friendship if you let her know that you think she is a great person and that you enjoy her company, and that you want to be a good friend.
If yo... (read in full...)
I really like her, but I don't want a good friendship to be ruined.
Q. I'm a 12 yr old male. I have a VERY good infact shes my BEST friend and shes almost 11 I really like her and im not sure but i think she likes me. She comes over to my house to play games watch movies ETC. She calls me almost every other day ...
A. 22 July 2008: It sounds like you two have a very good friendship and spend a lot of time together. I understand why you're worried about letting her know that you like her. She's still kind of young to have a boyfriend.
When you two are playing video games or w... (read in full...)
How do I stop him accusing me of something I've never done?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 7 months and we have lived together during the entire relationship.for the past 6 months he has accused me of cheating,left me for days at a time then had me come and get him,ive gotten him out of jail,stopped ...
A. 22 July 2008: Time to read this excellent article by Ask oldersister.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/warning-signs-youre-dating-a-loser.html
You can't convince him. Why did you two move in so quickly? You never really had a chance to get to know him, and now ... (read in full...)
A big thank you, to all the aunts and uncles, for your great work, helping people.
Q. Not a question! Just a THANK YOU! Wish you could be here! Hey all you dear "Uncles" and "Aunts"; I am very busy preparing for lots of friends and family for Dinner tomorrow night; yeah, like it or not old age creeping closer (LO...
A. 21 July 2008: Hey, Smiles! Happy birthday!!!! Have a great time and celebrate with the people you love around you. And I think you are doing a great job here, helping so many!
xxx
Tisha... (read in full...)
How do I escape this violent relationship?
Q. my husband is an alcoholic and is very abusive towards me both when he is drinking and when he is not. He is a control freak who will not let me do anything or go anywhere, and if i do there is always a hugh fight that lasts for days..he is always ...
A. 21 July 2008: Here is a Canadian resource as well as the one I gave you earlier.
The "Broken Spirits Network" website has an amazing large directory for Canadians and internationally. As stated on their website, here is what they provide:
"We are an online... (read in full...)
What should I do about this annoying, cheap, and obsessive kid?
Q. This kid in my class is a total bitch lets call him "joe". He thinks this girl who dosen't like him belongs to him and he won't let anyone talk to her, lets call her "jane". So jane and one of her friends were walking around town and decided ...
A. 21 July 2008: Well, I guess you have it all figured out. So good luck.... (read in full...)
How do I escape this violent relationship?
Q. my husband is an alcoholic and is very abusive towards me both when he is drinking and when he is not. He is a control freak who will not let me do anything or go anywhere, and if i do there is always a hugh fight that lasts for days..he is always ...
A. 21 July 2008: Oh sorry, your flag posts you as in Canada. Sorry, I thought you were in the UK. Accept my apologies here.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html
There may be a good website/crisis center for you to visit, for more advice, unfortun... (read in full...)
Can Piles Affect Your Sex Life? What can be done about it?
Q. My female partner does have piles for last whole year since she became pregnant. Since she had piles she is unable to have intercourse as she feels pain/uncomfortable when penetrating. Please advise if vaginal irritation has something to do with ...
A. 21 July 2008: It's probably a good idea that she sees her doctor again if these are causing problems.
I do hope that I have the definition of 'piles' here correctly. It is not a common US term. So I'm assuming that what I found about it is correctly tran... (read in full...)
He told me to "play with him" during cuddling, what did he mean?
Q. If your boyfriend says to you when your kissing and cuddling with him play with me what does it mean?...
A. 21 July 2008: I think Emilysanswers and nonamer are right in what he expects. And Emilyanswers has the exact right answer. If he can't tell you what he means and you don't feel that you can ask him, then you should really just take a step back and wait for him to ... (read in full...)
How do I escape this violent relationship?
Q. my husband is an alcoholic and is very abusive towards me both when he is drinking and when he is not. He is a control freak who will not let me do anything or go anywhere, and if i do there is always a hugh fight that lasts for days..he is always ...
A. 21 July 2008: This is beyond my scope for being able to help. I really recommend that you seek help with either or both of these organizations.
http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/
Or
Womens Aid-The premier resource for domestic violence and sexual abuse against... (read in full...)
Is there someone out there for everyone? What if they live in another country?
Q. Hello. I'm 25, English and never had a proper girlfriend. I'm also a virgin. The truth is nobody wants me. People say you'll meet someone but I know I won't. I know this question gets asked more times but I would like some help. The problem is I ...
A. 20 July 2008: Keep going, you've got a good list started.
Good listener
Loyal
Not selfish
Intelligent
Let's get another one.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend fellated a guy! How do we have a healthy relationship again?
Q. My boyfriend and I went on a weekend away with another couple that have been friends with us for years. In a drunken spell, my boyfriend and the other guy decided to experiment and gave each other blow jobs (without us girls knowing this). Later the ...
A. 20 July 2008: Eeek. What a difficult question. So your boyfriend and her boyfriend got really really drunk and basically had a sexual encounter with each other. And they took pictures? How could they take pictures of this, weren't they otherwise occupied? They ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this annoying, cheap, and obsessive kid?
Q. This kid in my class is a total bitch lets call him "joe". He thinks this girl who dosen't like him belongs to him and he won't let anyone talk to her, lets call her "jane". So jane and one of her friends were walking around town and decided ...
A. 20 July 2008: Sorry, me again. In reading the previous answers, especially the one by cupidguy, this made me remember something from when I was growing up.
There was this girl, let's call her 'Emma' and she was kind of a pain. She would be very clingy and try ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this annoying, cheap, and obsessive kid?
Q. This kid in my class is a total bitch lets call him "joe". He thinks this girl who dosen't like him belongs to him and he won't let anyone talk to her, lets call her "jane". So jane and one of her friends were walking around town and decided ...
A. 20 July 2008: Sorry, I hadn't read your follow up when I wrote my answer. I think it's time to start to treat people with dignity, and you are behaving like little silly children if you continue to taunt Joe.
This kind of thing will only hurt people, and why do y... (read in full...)
My ex is depressed and made threats! Where do I go from here?
Q. I have a dilemma and i am hoping someone will be able to help me. Me and my ex bf have been off and on for a while now. Recently we have had huge arguments that have lasted for days. We both have said things we didn't mean. However, he has ...
A. 20 July 2008: Hi, you should let his parents know that he has threatened to kill himself. If he is depressed and he is truly thinking about hurting himself, then you'll be doing the right thing by their son in letting them know that he has threatened this. If he ... (read in full...)
I miss him and I'm lonely without him, but he has other women. Should I forget him or try to work it out?
Q. When I was 20 I moved away from my home town in Florida, started a professional career in Texas. About 6 years ago, when I was home visiting my father in Florida, a guy I grew up with told me he's always had a crush on me and wished I would move ...
A. 20 July 2008: Laura, you know him better than I ever could. You've dealt with him for a number of years now. If he really wanted to marry you, but before that, date you exclusively, wouldn't he have made that happen by now? He's talking a good game, but his ... (read in full...)
How do I get my friends to hook me up with people they know?
Q. I'm wondering what's a good way to ask friends and acquaintances to hook me up with their friends? Basically I just want to go on blind dates, meet new people, and have fun. I don't have a lot of friends-- most of the people I would be asking are ...
A. 20 July 2008: Okay, a couple of thoughts for you. First, do you have a place big enough to have a party and invite a number of people, and also the cash to pay for some beverages and snacks? This might sound lame, but you could ask your friends and acquaintances ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this annoying, cheap, and obsessive kid?
Q. This kid in my class is a total bitch lets call him "joe". He thinks this girl who dosen't like him belongs to him and he won't let anyone talk to her, lets call her "jane". So jane and one of her friends were walking around town and decided ...
A. 20 July 2008: First of all, I think you all need to stop taunting him a bit. This isn't actually very nice to him. I know he's a major jerk and immature and all that, but you need to rise above that and be more grown up and show him that you are more mature than ... (read in full...)
If he is too scared to propose to me, should I propose to him? What do you think?
Q. I've been with my partner for quite some time now and we're beginning to talk wedding and family wise. Thing is, I think he's too scared to propose to me. He's given himself so many opportunities, but then backs out and says something else. I wa...
A. 20 July 2008: Is the age bracket you gave correct? 16-17? Just to doublecheck, because there's a big difference in how people are going to react to your question. If you were in the 18-21, or 21-25 one, then you'll probably get very different answers.
A... (read in full...)
I had unprotected sex and bled heavily during and after my first time, please advise!
Q. Today me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time, but unprotected my boyfriend kept taking out his penis to check he werent producing sperm , could i be pregnant even if he said no sperm came out? and i bled heavily alot during and after it is ...
A. 20 July 2008: Sweetie, that was very very brave of you, I'm very happy to hear that you are getting the help you need and I really hope everything turns out well for you.
I am so proud of you and I think that you are a very courageous young lady. Big big hugs... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with someone older than me!
Q. Hi my name is Katie and well I like this guy who is 5 years older than I am. I think that he likes me too but he seems to act differently when he is around his family than when he is alone. See, I think that the reason I am even attracted to him ...
A. 20 July 2008: Well, it is easier to get to know someone if you do talk with them from time to time. And I think that you're totally right about the way you'd handle things if you were asked to a baseball game. I have to tell you, though, that baseball games ... (read in full...)
I miss him and I'm lonely without him, but he has other women. Should I forget him or try to work it out?
Q. When I was 20 I moved away from my home town in Florida, started a professional career in Texas. About 6 years ago, when I was home visiting my father in Florida, a guy I grew up with told me he's always had a crush on me and wished I would move ...
A. 20 July 2008: Leggy, don't give up hope just yet, I'm just suggesting that you give up hope on this one particular guy. It may be that your emotional connection to him is somehow interfering with meeting other men. They can pick up that you are not on some level ... (read in full...)
I'm alone and hurting badly...how do I keep myself from falling so fast?
Q. Im 34 years old, single and gay. I have been reading these letters and responses regarding falling in love so easily and getting hurt. I have always had this problem, when I meet a guy, and he would show some interest, I immediately fall oh so ...
A. 20 July 2008: Hi Pastre,
It sounds to me like you might be moving way too fast and putting too much of yourself out there, hoping for a real connection with someone too soon. It takes time to develop a real relationship, I think. Much as 'love at first sigh... (read in full...)
I miss him and I'm lonely without him, but he has other women. Should I forget him or try to work it out?
Q. When I was 20 I moved away from my home town in Florida, started a professional career in Texas. About 6 years ago, when I was home visiting my father in Florida, a guy I grew up with told me he's always had a crush on me and wished I would move ...
A. 20 July 2008: Thanks for the update. Sometimes it helps to have someone assess the situation and give you a reality check. It is easy for me to sit here and type an answer to you; it is much more difficult to think logically about your own situation if you have a ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to conceive. Could I be pregnant now?
Q. Me and my partner have been trying to concieve for the past two months, as i hardly see him, its hard to concieve on that exact day. Last month, we were unlucky as i had my period 3-6th July. Ihave 27 day cycles. i used this website to determin...
A. 20 July 2008: Sorry, I just had to add a little thought to my answer. The way you just responded (your first 2 answers) could be construed as your still being a bit immature, so don't be surprised if you get some feedback on that. Your answer sounded like it was ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to conceive. Could I be pregnant now?
Q. Me and my partner have been trying to concieve for the past two months, as i hardly see him, its hard to concieve on that exact day. Last month, we were unlucky as i had my period 3-6th July. Ihave 27 day cycles. i used this website to determin...
A. 20 July 2008: Hi, don't get too defensive about this, the aunts here are genuinely trying to help other people, and some of us have a great deal of life experience, being old farts, and try to share it with others who come asking for help. So take what works for ... (read in full...)
Is it me?
Q. help! i keep all my feelings inside like this week my brother lets call him 'a' had an asthma attack..so my parents attention is put on him. then people who are supposed to be my best friends let call them b and c put stuff in my drink which makes ...
A. 20 July 2008: I'm happy to hear that you were able to tell your parents, that makes me feel better that you are listened to and believed. Getting detention doesn't seem like quite enough of a punishment to me, but I guess that's what the school can do. I have a ... (read in full...)
Is there someone out there for everyone? What if they live in another country?
Q. Hello. I'm 25, English and never had a proper girlfriend. I'm also a virgin. The truth is nobody wants me. People say you'll meet someone but I know I won't. I know this question gets asked more times but I would like some help. The problem is I ...
A. 20 July 2008: Wow, you are definitely stuck in some negative thoughts here. You have presented a very thorough list of why finding someone isn't going to work in your town.
May I ask you a rather personal question? And I am not trying to be mean or nasty he... (read in full...)
I miss him and I'm lonely without him, but he has other women. Should I forget him or try to work it out?
Q. When I was 20 I moved away from my home town in Florida, started a professional career in Texas. About 6 years ago, when I was home visiting my father in Florida, a guy I grew up with told me he's always had a crush on me and wished I would move ...
A. 20 July 2008: Sorry to hear about your father, you have some tough decisions to make ahead of you.
Okay, help me out here. I'm just a little confused. Are you two in a long-distance committed relationship? Or do you two just 'hook up' when you're in Flor... (read in full...)
Is it me?
Q. help! i keep all my feelings inside like this week my brother lets call him 'a' had an asthma attack..so my parents attention is put on him. then people who are supposed to be my best friends let call them b and c put stuff in my drink which makes ...
A. 20 July 2008: Hi, this sounds like bullying to me too. These people are definitely not your friends anymore; that must be very hard to taks, sorry to hear that. The thing is that you do actually need to tell an adult that this has been happening. I really would ... (read in full...)
I had unprotected sex and bled heavily during and after my first time, please advise!
Q. Today me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time, but unprotected my boyfriend kept taking out his penis to check he werent producing sperm , could i be pregnant even if he said no sperm came out? and i bled heavily alot during and after it is ...
A. 20 July 2008: Wow, that is terrible to hear. You must be very upset. I wish I had known that he had forced you. It may be that he's hurt you because you weren't really ready for sex at all. So I think it would be a good idea to call the childline number I gave ... (read in full...)
I had unprotected sex and bled heavily during and after my first time, please advise!
Q. Today me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time, but unprotected my boyfriend kept taking out his penis to check he werent producing sperm , could i be pregnant even if he said no sperm came out? and i bled heavily alot during and after it is ...
A. 20 July 2008: Hi, I'm not going to lecture you now on the dangers of unprotected sex, other aunts have done that here. It may be that the bleeding you describe could be the result of your hymen breaking. It could also be something else, I have no way of knowing ... (read in full...)
Bush wants to redefine birth control as "abortion", what do you think?
Q. This site seems to have a good cross section of folks from different walks of life, so I wanted to see what people out there think about this. The Bush administration is proposing a redefining of the term "abortion" to include birth control. The ...
A. 19 July 2008: Try this link, as the one posted seems to be a dead end. Poster, is this the one you're referring to?
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory?id=5406253
... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with someone older than me!
Q. Hi my name is Katie and well I like this guy who is 5 years older than I am. I think that he likes me too but he seems to act differently when he is around his family than when he is alone. See, I think that the reason I am even attracted to him ...
A. 18 July 2008: Well, that sounds good. I guess the best thing you can do is just be yourself, and try to continue to be the kind of girl people can admire. Then time will tell; if you were meant to be together, it will happen. But don't let yourself ignore other ... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with someone older than me!
Q. Hi my name is Katie and well I like this guy who is 5 years older than I am. I think that he likes me too but he seems to act differently when he is around his family than when he is alone. See, I think that the reason I am even attracted to him ...
A. 17 July 2008: Hi, he sounds very nice to me, I could see why you'd like to make sure you have a chance at a relationship with him when you're older. Hhhmmmm, I would probably try to continue to be his friend. Does he know that you like him in that special way?
I... (read in full...)
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