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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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I think I'm in love with someone older than me!
Q. Hi my name is Katie and well I like this guy who is 5 years older than I am. I think that he likes me too but he seems to act differently when he is around his family than when he is alone. See, I think that the reason I am even attracted to him ...
A. 31 July 2008: I agree wholeheartedly with what Artistry said here. It's a que sera, sera situation.
I wouldn't spend too much time trying to analyze his actions or try to figure out what he's thinking. He's a guy, and they are often difficult for us women to unde... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with someone older than me!
Q. Hi my name is Katie and well I like this guy who is 5 years older than I am. I think that he likes me too but he seems to act differently when he is around his family than when he is alone. See, I think that the reason I am even attracted to him ...
A. 28 July 2008: Hi Katie, thanks for the follow up. Wow, that IS a problem. He told his mother that he was uncomfortable with you 'always' being in the restaurant, AND that he has a big crush on a girl his own age?
Well, maybe he is feeling uncomfortable beca... (read in full...)
Is there someone out there for everyone? What if they live in another country?
Q. Hello. I'm 25, English and never had a proper girlfriend. I'm also a virgin. The truth is nobody wants me. People say you'll meet someone but I know I won't. I know this question gets asked more times but I would like some help. The problem is I ...
A. 25 July 2008: Wow, you certainly got a lot more feedback since I've checked in here. Sounds like things are looking a bit more positive? Excellent. Work on your strengths, you have quite a few!
I'm not qualified to tell a 20-something young British man what to w... (read in full...)
What's the best way to leave my rageful husband?
Q. i am 24 and have been married for almost 5 years. things were wonderful for the 5 months before the wedding, but afterward, everything went to chaos. he goes through these frequent periods of what i can only assume to be depression (sinc...
A. 23 July 2008: I'm so happy to hear you're making the plans. I hope things go smoothly and that you're safe soon. Keep us posted.
Best wishes.
xxx... (read in full...)
Bush wants to redefine birth control as "abortion", what do you think?
Q. This site seems to have a good cross section of folks from different walks of life, so I wanted to see what people out there think about this. The Bush administration is proposing a redefining of the term "abortion" to include birth control. The ...
A. 22 July 2008: Here's website where you can register your opposition to this proposed legislation.
http://www.ppaction.org/campaign/spp08sadv2
Obviously, only those who are of voting age and US citizens need use it.
... (read in full...)
Is there someone out there for everyone? What if they live in another country?
Q. Hello. I'm 25, English and never had a proper girlfriend. I'm also a virgin. The truth is nobody wants me. People say you'll meet someone but I know I won't. I know this question gets asked more times but I would like some help. The problem is I ...
A. 22 July 2008: Sorry, I've just realized that I haven't responded to you since your update.
Musical
Intelligent
Handy with cars
Look, you need to work on the self-confidence thing here. You are doomed the minute you walk out your door because you are projecti... (read in full...)
Is there someone out there for everyone? What if they live in another country?
Q. Hello. I'm 25, English and never had a proper girlfriend. I'm also a virgin. The truth is nobody wants me. People say you'll meet someone but I know I won't. I know this question gets asked more times but I would like some help. The problem is I ...
A. 20 July 2008: Keep going, you've got a good list started.
Good listener
Loyal
Not selfish
Intelligent
Let's get another one.
... (read in full...)
I miss him and I'm lonely without him, but he has other women. Should I forget him or try to work it out?
Q. When I was 20 I moved away from my home town in Florida, started a professional career in Texas. About 6 years ago, when I was home visiting my father in Florida, a guy I grew up with told me he's always had a crush on me and wished I would move ...
A. 20 July 2008: Laura, you know him better than I ever could. You've dealt with him for a number of years now. If he really wanted to marry you, but before that, date you exclusively, wouldn't he have made that happen by now? He's talking a good game, but his ... (read in full...)
I had unprotected sex and bled heavily during and after my first time, please advise!
Q. Today me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time, but unprotected my boyfriend kept taking out his penis to check he werent producing sperm , could i be pregnant even if he said no sperm came out? and i bled heavily alot during and after it is ...
A. 20 July 2008: Sweetie, that was very very brave of you, I'm very happy to hear that you are getting the help you need and I really hope everything turns out well for you.
I am so proud of you and I think that you are a very courageous young lady. Big big hugs... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with someone older than me!
Q. Hi my name is Katie and well I like this guy who is 5 years older than I am. I think that he likes me too but he seems to act differently when he is around his family than when he is alone. See, I think that the reason I am even attracted to him ...
A. 20 July 2008: Well, it is easier to get to know someone if you do talk with them from time to time. And I think that you're totally right about the way you'd handle things if you were asked to a baseball game. I have to tell you, though, that baseball games ... (read in full...)
I miss him and I'm lonely without him, but he has other women. Should I forget him or try to work it out?
Q. When I was 20 I moved away from my home town in Florida, started a professional career in Texas. About 6 years ago, when I was home visiting my father in Florida, a guy I grew up with told me he's always had a crush on me and wished I would move ...
A. 20 July 2008: Leggy, don't give up hope just yet, I'm just suggesting that you give up hope on this one particular guy. It may be that your emotional connection to him is somehow interfering with meeting other men. They can pick up that you are not on some level ... (read in full...)
I miss him and I'm lonely without him, but he has other women. Should I forget him or try to work it out?
Q. When I was 20 I moved away from my home town in Florida, started a professional career in Texas. About 6 years ago, when I was home visiting my father in Florida, a guy I grew up with told me he's always had a crush on me and wished I would move ...
A. 20 July 2008: Thanks for the update. Sometimes it helps to have someone assess the situation and give you a reality check. It is easy for me to sit here and type an answer to you; it is much more difficult to think logically about your own situation if you have a ... (read in full...)
Is it me?
Q. help! i keep all my feelings inside like this week my brother lets call him 'a' had an asthma attack..so my parents attention is put on him. then people who are supposed to be my best friends let call them b and c put stuff in my drink which makes ...
A. 20 July 2008: I'm happy to hear that you were able to tell your parents, that makes me feel better that you are listened to and believed. Getting detention doesn't seem like quite enough of a punishment to me, but I guess that's what the school can do. I have a ... (read in full...)
Is there someone out there for everyone? What if they live in another country?
Q. Hello. I'm 25, English and never had a proper girlfriend. I'm also a virgin. The truth is nobody wants me. People say you'll meet someone but I know I won't. I know this question gets asked more times but I would like some help. The problem is I ...
A. 20 July 2008: Wow, you are definitely stuck in some negative thoughts here. You have presented a very thorough list of why finding someone isn't going to work in your town.
May I ask you a rather personal question? And I am not trying to be mean or nasty he... (read in full...)
I deleted the message from the "other woman" in which she gives news about her child and my husband's. How can I stop her from intruding into our lives again?
Q. A while ago I posted about my husband's year long affair - which resulted in a pregancy. My husband and I stayed together and both commited to working on our marriage - and things have been going very well(although still ups and downs). It is ...
A. 20 July 2008: Hi, whew, what a terribly difficult situation you find yourself in. Is this the other question you posted when you found out about his affair and the baby?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-husband-had-an-affair-which-resulted-in.html
Look,... (read in full...)
I miss him and I'm lonely without him, but he has other women. Should I forget him or try to work it out?
Q. When I was 20 I moved away from my home town in Florida, started a professional career in Texas. About 6 years ago, when I was home visiting my father in Florida, a guy I grew up with told me he's always had a crush on me and wished I would move ...
A. 20 July 2008: Sorry to hear about your father, you have some tough decisions to make ahead of you.
Okay, help me out here. I'm just a little confused. Are you two in a long-distance committed relationship? Or do you two just 'hook up' when you're in Flor... (read in full...)
How can I tell if a guy likes me for more than just my looks?
Q. How do you tell if a guy likes you for you and not for your looks? Out of all the guys ive been out with, it always turns out they only really liked me for my looks and not for who I am. At the beguining of the relationship they preten...
A. 20 July 2008: Hey, you're welcome, and thank you for that followup! That helps make things clearer.
Right, the ones who drop you as a friend after you get a boyfriend, you may be right, they weren't really friends. It's also possible that they were so jeal... (read in full...)
How can I tell if a guy likes me for more than just my looks?
Q. How do you tell if a guy likes you for you and not for your looks? Out of all the guys ive been out with, it always turns out they only really liked me for my looks and not for who I am. At the beguining of the relationship they preten...
A. 20 July 2008: I'm not a guy, so I'm looking at this from a woman's perspective.
How can you tell if a guy likes you for yourself and not just your looks?
Hmm. First off, I would say that taking things more slowly in the dating is not a bad idea. It gives yo... (read in full...)
Is it me?
Q. help! i keep all my feelings inside like this week my brother lets call him 'a' had an asthma attack..so my parents attention is put on him. then people who are supposed to be my best friends let call them b and c put stuff in my drink which makes ...
A. 20 July 2008: Hi, this sounds like bullying to me too. These people are definitely not your friends anymore; that must be very hard to taks, sorry to hear that. The thing is that you do actually need to tell an adult that this has been happening. I really would ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to leave my rageful husband?
Q. i am 24 and have been married for almost 5 years. things were wonderful for the 5 months before the wedding, but afterward, everything went to chaos. he goes through these frequent periods of what i can only assume to be depression (sinc...
A. 20 July 2008: Hi, this is a terrible situation you're in. Obviously you'll be leaving him one way or the other at this point, so it would be a good idea to have a plan organized. I really don't know if it's in your best interest to wait until September or not. I ... (read in full...)
I had unprotected sex and bled heavily during and after my first time, please advise!
Q. Today me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time, but unprotected my boyfriend kept taking out his penis to check he werent producing sperm , could i be pregnant even if he said no sperm came out? and i bled heavily alot during and after it is ...
A. 20 July 2008: Wow, that is terrible to hear. You must be very upset. I wish I had known that he had forced you. It may be that he's hurt you because you weren't really ready for sex at all. So I think it would be a good idea to call the childline number I gave ... (read in full...)
I had unprotected sex and bled heavily during and after my first time, please advise!
Q. Today me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time, but unprotected my boyfriend kept taking out his penis to check he werent producing sperm , could i be pregnant even if he said no sperm came out? and i bled heavily alot during and after it is ...
A. 20 July 2008: Hi, I'm not going to lecture you now on the dangers of unprotected sex, other aunts have done that here. It may be that the bleeding you describe could be the result of your hymen breaking. It could also be something else, I have no way of knowing ... (read in full...)
What can I do to make this break up easier on all of us?
Q. Not sure where to begin been with him 14 years and 3weeks ago out of the blue he tells me he doesnt love me the next day its you would be happier without me than its something else. i know there is no one else yet. He has asked for time to think ...
A. 19 July 2008: I tend to agree with Q1605 that you should prepare for the worst case scenario. But try to work toward the best. Go ahead and call a marriage/couples counselor and set up an appointment. Your man should be working on whatever his issue is WITH you, ... (read in full...)
Bush wants to redefine birth control as "abortion", what do you think?
Q. This site seems to have a good cross section of folks from different walks of life, so I wanted to see what people out there think about this. The Bush administration is proposing a redefining of the term "abortion" to include birth control. The ...
A. 19 July 2008: Try this link, as the one posted seems to be a dead end. Poster, is this the one you're referring to?
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory?id=5406253
... (read in full...)
Anyone got any tips on applying St Tropez fake tan?
Q. Hello, Anyone got any tips on applying St Tropez fake tan? I do all the things you're supposed to, exfoliate, moisturise and apply in smooth strokes. but it always ends up coming out really uneven. Has anyone got any tips? xxxxx...
A. 19 July 2008: There's a Jergens product here in the US that is a daily moisturizer with just a little bit of the self tanning stuff in it. So you use it everyday, and the color builds up gradually and therefore evenly. I'd look for that at Boots or someplace like ... (read in full...)
I found out that my best friend and my girlfriend had been sleeping together. Am I going to spend the rest of my life dwelling on my failed friendship?
Q. I found out last spring that my best friend and now-girlfriend had been sleeping together for 3 months and had kept this from me. My gf and I weren't together when it happened, but my best friend knew she and I had unspoken feelings for each other. ...
A. 19 July 2008: Thank you again for the followup. Look, I'm going back to my middle long post. You need to create your own closure on this, because he is not going to participate in this in any way. He's decided what his side of the story is, and unfortunately, ... (read in full...)
I caught my boyfriend in bed with my sister while her boyfriend was downstairs!
Q. well. basicly. I CAUGHT MY BOYFRIEND IN BED WITH MY SISTER WHILE HER BOYFRIEND WAS SAT DOWNSTAIRS!!! well ive been with him now for nearly 18 months, i thought he loved me, and i adore him! well DID. im confused! so bad, i stayed at a friends house ...
A. 19 July 2008: Hi, I think that you might need to tell someone about this. Your sister is only 13, after all, and your age is between 16-17? If you can't tell your parents, then here are some very good resources for you.
Childline-Most famous kids Charity ... (read in full...)
Feeling sad, I need tips on laser hair removal, good sources of protein other than meat, and also, I just don't feel beautiful.
Q. hey i feel really sad right now. has anybody had lazer hair removal and seen gud results? and also has anybody had lazer hair removal and then noticed their skin get worse for example: dry skin/spots/patchy skin. i feel so depressed right now....
A. 19 July 2008: Hi hon, I can't help you with the laser hair removal, but good sources of protein if you don't eat meat, are cheese, eggs, soy milk, beans, fish (unless that counts as meat for you). I suggest that you have a look at this website for some guidance. ... (read in full...)
He still watches porn but we have sex very rarely, then he is only focused on his own pleasure and there is no foreplay, etc. We talked about these in vain...
Q. Please help I am at my witts end! My partner has gone off sex. Well he has kind of, as he still enjoys watching porn, he just has gone off sex with me. I am 26 and my partner 27.We have been together for nearly 8 years and are happy in every o...
A. 19 July 2008: I think you do have a reason to be unsatisfied with your sex life, frankly. And he's trying to tell you it's your problem, not his.
The comment that you are never satisfied with anything. A brilliant evasion. He deflects your real concern and give... (read in full...)
Is there any hope for me and my Ex? Do I have any chance of having her back in my life as more than a friend?
Q. First a little background information I am a 24 year old male and my ex is two years older than me. We met though a mutual friend and at first did not really see much attraction I was the quiet guy that did not talk much. At a party last year we ...
A. 19 July 2008: It sounds to me that you and she have different approaches to life. She is more of a go get it done kind of personality; you seem to me to be more laid back and take the approach that things will happen and life will take care of itself. I'm not ... (read in full...)
Not even a birthday present from my boyfriend. What am I worth to him?
Q. It was my birthday last weekend. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. He's a very sweet guy, but not very good when it comes to suprises for me, or buying gifts ahead of time. I was over at his parent's house the day before my birthday ...
A. 18 July 2008: Well, I would have been sympathetic to his cause except for the fact that he told his family it was your birthday. So it seems that he should have been aware that it is a special day to for you and deserves a bit of thought and a gift that shows he ... (read in full...)
I found out that my best friend and my girlfriend had been sleeping together. Am I going to spend the rest of my life dwelling on my failed friendship?
Q. I found out last spring that my best friend and now-girlfriend had been sleeping together for 3 months and had kept this from me. My gf and I weren't together when it happened, but my best friend knew she and I had unspoken feelings for each other. ...
A. 18 July 2008: Okay, I've reread your last follow up post. Now I do want you to watch the whole movie. Ignore the main plot. Follow the subplot.... (read in full...)
I found out that my best friend and my girlfriend had been sleeping together. Am I going to spend the rest of my life dwelling on my failed friendship?
Q. I found out last spring that my best friend and now-girlfriend had been sleeping together for 3 months and had kept this from me. My gf and I weren't together when it happened, but my best friend knew she and I had unspoken feelings for each other. ...
A. 18 July 2008: Darn it, I hadn't read your follow up before my last two posts. So take what you can out of them. It sounds like you have moved forward in many ways.... (read in full...)
I found out that my best friend and my girlfriend had been sleeping together. Am I going to spend the rest of my life dwelling on my failed friendship?
Q. I found out last spring that my best friend and now-girlfriend had been sleeping together for 3 months and had kept this from me. My gf and I weren't together when it happened, but my best friend knew she and I had unspoken feelings for each other. ...
A. 18 July 2008: Oh, and I also wanted to add one more thing before I signed off on your question, sorry. I think that part of the anger you feel is toward your girlfriend, for being involved with him in the first place. But because she is with you and you two are ... (read in full...)
I found out that my best friend and my girlfriend had been sleeping together. Am I going to spend the rest of my life dwelling on my failed friendship?
Q. I found out last spring that my best friend and now-girlfriend had been sleeping together for 3 months and had kept this from me. My gf and I weren't together when it happened, but my best friend knew she and I had unspoken feelings for each other. ...
A. 18 July 2008: Okay, I'm back. And I have to apologize in advance, once for pounding on you in my first post, when you were obviously upset and hurt by this and trying to find a way to deal with and resolve your feelings, and now for when I do a really idiotic ... (read in full...)
I found out that my best friend and my girlfriend had been sleeping together. Am I going to spend the rest of my life dwelling on my failed friendship?
Q. I found out last spring that my best friend and now-girlfriend had been sleeping together for 3 months and had kept this from me. My gf and I weren't together when it happened, but my best friend knew she and I had unspoken feelings for each other. ...
A. 18 July 2008: Wow, well, that puts a whole new light on the situation. I'm going to think about this for a little bit, based on the expanded information. And thank you for your follow-up and for not jumping down my throat, as I seem to have done to you. Be back ... (read in full...)
He still watches porn but we have sex very rarely, then he is only focused on his own pleasure and there is no foreplay, etc. We talked about these in vain...
Q. Please help I am at my witts end! My partner has gone off sex. Well he has kind of, as he still enjoys watching porn, he just has gone off sex with me. I am 26 and my partner 27.We have been together for nearly 8 years and are happy in every o...
A. 18 July 2008: How long has this lop-sided sex life been going on? No foreplay, you give him oral, you then climb on top, and if he finishes first, it's all over, he takes no care or interest in your own pleasure? And no kissing, no reciprocation, he doesn't even ... (read in full...)
I found out that my best friend and my girlfriend had been sleeping together. Am I going to spend the rest of my life dwelling on my failed friendship?
Q. I found out last spring that my best friend and now-girlfriend had been sleeping together for 3 months and had kept this from me. My gf and I weren't together when it happened, but my best friend knew she and I had unspoken feelings for each other. ...
A. 18 July 2008: I'm sorry, I'm going to be a bit blunt with you here. In the final analysis YOU got the girl and you expect an apology from HIM? What about an apology from your girl to HIM? Or one from you to him for not acknowledging that he might actually have ... (read in full...)
If I find a new guy will it make my ex realise how much he likes me?
Q. My boyfriends recently broke up with me, but I know he is still into me. It is a long story, but he pretty much broke up with me because he was scared. I am not sure if it is because he knew I was falling in love with him or if he fell for me. He is ...
A. 18 July 2008: I'm sorry to hear of your break up. It's so hard to deal with them, especially when you find that in some way he hasn't truly let go.
I think though that just using a guy to try to get your ex back is actually not a great idea. Why? Because ... (read in full...)
My partners 16 year old daughter has stripped in front of me on two occasions. Do I tell her mother?
Q. My partners 16 year old daughter has stripped naked in front of me on two occassions and i am confused as to tell her mother or not....
A. 18 July 2008: I see your dilemma. You're in a lose-lose situation here, aren't you?
Oh, and I think that the delay in the system prevented your initial followups from being posted right away, so it does indeed seem like people were pointing blame at you. As ... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with someone older than me!
Q. Hi my name is Katie and well I like this guy who is 5 years older than I am. I think that he likes me too but he seems to act differently when he is around his family than when he is alone. See, I think that the reason I am even attracted to him ...
A. 18 July 2008: Well, that sounds good. I guess the best thing you can do is just be yourself, and try to continue to be the kind of girl people can admire. Then time will tell; if you were meant to be together, it will happen. But don't let yourself ignore other ... (read in full...)
He asked if I would wear a strap on and take him from behind?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 8 months now. We were fine at first but now.... He has started asking really difficult sexual favours from me. He recently asked me if i would wear and strap on and take him from behind?!?! I didnt know what ...
A. 17 July 2008: I think Uncle Sneaker has given you very very good advice here.
I have one question for you, what you mean exactly when you say that 'A couple of weeks ago he threw me up a wall.... ' I don't quite understand that sentence. Thanks for clarifyi... (read in full...)
I have an incontinence (lacking voluntary control over urination) during sex, medications so far did not help, please advise?
Q. hello everyone i need your help. i have an incontinence or an involuntary leakage of urine condition when i have sex which lasts for 4 - 5 hours. i went to doctors most of them said that they can't give medication because the condition is not per...
A. 17 July 2008: Hmmm. The doctors checked you out and could only give you medication? So there's no obvious physical thing?
Have you ever heard of Kegel exercises? They are when you practice squeezing the muscles which control urine flow?
Have a look a... (read in full...)
Does anyone know, if urinating in a woman's vagina is harmful, or would create a medical problem?
Q. dear cupid. i just want to find out if urinating close to or in my fiances vagina is dangerous. we have a good sexlife but we are carefull when it comes to extreme fetishes. i would like a medical review about it. thanx...
A. 17 July 2008: I doubt it's truly dangerous, but keep in mind that a woman's vagina has a balanced environment of beneficial bacteria. If you urinate inside her, it may kill those bacteria, and this could lead to a yeast infection. That's why douching isn't ... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with someone older than me!
Q. Hi my name is Katie and well I like this guy who is 5 years older than I am. I think that he likes me too but he seems to act differently when he is around his family than when he is alone. See, I think that the reason I am even attracted to him ...
A. 17 July 2008: Hi, he sounds very nice to me, I could see why you'd like to make sure you have a chance at a relationship with him when you're older. Hhhmmmm, I would probably try to continue to be his friend. Does he know that you like him in that special way?
I... (read in full...)
In a relationship with a drunk violent woman...
Q. My wife and I have been married for a little over 13 years. We have one child together (Daughter 13), and her son (16) whom I have raised as my own since he was 5. Thats another story. I knew she drank when we met, so did I. We were young, I was in ...
A. 17 July 2008: She has an illness and needs help, desperately by the sound of it. But she has to be the one who takes the steps necessary to get help. I expect you have tried to get her to check into a rehab clinic?
A couple of practical suggestions for you. Get... (read in full...)
Tricked into a bigamous marriage?
Q. I began talking to an Indian girl last year that I met on an internet site. After months of emails and phone calls we decided to get engaged. I'm seperated with my divorce going through the courts and I made her aware of this from the very ...
A. 17 July 2008: One more link for you.
http://www.britishhighcommission.gov.uk/servlet/Front?pagename=OpenMarket/Xcelerate/ShowPage&c=Page&cid=1188498875494... (read in full...)
Tricked into a bigamous marriage?
Q. I began talking to an Indian girl last year that I met on an internet site. After months of emails and phone calls we decided to get engaged. I'm seperated with my divorce going through the courts and I made her aware of this from the very ...
A. 17 July 2008: I did a little research on this, and it seems to me that she cannot legally register this wedding in India, as you both would have had to present yourself at the registrar, within a month of the ceremony. Als the fact that you are still married ... (read in full...)
We broke up because we fight a lot, but could it work?
Q. Hi, I just had a break up, my boyfriend and I were together for 2 years. We still have feelings for each other,but we have been fighting a lot. I have now figured out that the fighting has mostly but not always been because of me. I am insecure and ...
A. 17 July 2008: Well, good for you for taking some action to help yourself! That's great.
Now, how to let him know that you are working on this issue? Are you in contact with him at all? I mean, do you still email or phone each other? If you do email, it migh... (read in full...)
Any ideas on how to deal with sensitive people?
Q. I've been with my GF for few weeks now, she's a really sensitive person and she told me that her mood changes suddenly. I noticed this when we had a little tiffle the other night, one minute we was joking around and the next she just switched, we ...
A. 17 July 2008: I'm not really sure if this advice will apply to your situation, but it's worth a try. My husband and I have agreed on a code word to say when we need to stop whatever train of thought the other partner is currently having.
For example, when he's... (read in full...)
I don't want him to think he's the reason I don't want to have sex, what do I say?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months. He is the sweetest guy ever. He is always thinking of me first and buying me things when i dont expect it. We've talked about having sex. I love him more than anything but I'm not sure if i want to have sex ...
A. 17 July 2008: I can't really believe that Dr. Solutions is suggesting that Lotus Mama's great advice reeks of sexism!
What is wrong with telling an underaged teenager that waiting to have sex is the best decision she'll make? Respecting her body and letting ... (read in full...)
He gets jealous if I'm with other guys but he says he doesn't like me! What is his deal?
Q. ok here goes, i used to go wi this guy, we split up october, but since them i hav stayed the nyt with him far too many tyms to count, he also gets reli jealous if i am with any other guy or if he hears a rumour about me, he then tells me her reli ...
A. 17 July 2008: It sounds to me like he's really not very mature yet. It takes a while to grow up and figure out what you really want out of life and relationships.
Right now, he still gets to see you, sleep with you (I'm assuming that based on the comment ... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 17 July 2008: Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table and next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up ... (read in full...)
At 26, should I stick to sex with guys or try switching to girls?
Q. I am 26 years old and never had sex with a girl, only guys, I never had the loving for girls, until few months ago, what is the best way to see if I like girls,as i am trying chatting a going clubbing but cant get any girls, should i just stick to ...
A. 16 July 2008: Dr. V, thanks for that comment! NOW I understand why my husband wakes up screaming sometimes. No, seriously, all we can do is to try to understand the opposite species' brains. It's difficult, isn't it? I prescribe patience, humor (sorry Dr. ... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 10 July 2008: More Boudreaux jokes....
---
Two cousins started school together. The teacher was asking everybody their names. When she got to the first cousin, he said, “Poo Poo.” She said she was not going to put up with such behavior and asked him again. “... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 10 July 2008: Father Scola could make some good sermons. One day he was talking on the Ten Commandments and, boy, did he get excited. He was jumping up and down. Beating on the pulpit. He said you have to obey the Ten Commandments. He said everyone has sinned and ... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 10 July 2008: Boudreaux, Shawee, Cowan and T-Brud were playing a round of golf with a $200 wager on the match. Boudreaux had a 10-foot putt on the 18th green to win the money. He eyed the break from every angle and was meticulous in setting up to stroke the ball. ... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 9 May 2008: BigSis, you learn AAALLLL kinds of things here on DC! Quite an ejimication... Sorry, Unky Phil, for the *gasp* factor!
And I've got some great new jokes from this thread, ta for that!... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 9 May 2008: Ooh, is that a possible treatment option for frenulum breve?... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 8 May 2008: Mandy, those are priceless! I am HOWLING, hope none of the neighbors call the men with the padded vans and those little jackets with the extra long arms...
And Birdy, BigSis and the rest of you lot, I have had to run to the loo, my darlings... (read in full...)
Dear Cupid, this is the kinda stuff we want to hear.....
Q. Just a little light comic relief, some entertainment if you like - sort of based on some of the problems here on Dear Cupid. Feel free to lighten your load : ) I'll start by submitting 8 things that I think guys would 'LOVE' to hear from their ...
A. 28 March 2008: Oh, BigSis, you know how to brighten up the day!!! Those council letters are priceless!!! Thank you for the belly laughs.... (read in full...)
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