A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I'm with my girlfriend for 2 months now but i find sex ordinary. I have heard many guys expressing how "the sex is amazing", but i don't get that i just find it pretty ordinaryWhat makes sex "mind blowing" for both males and females generally?And any tips for better sex ? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (15 September 2016):
 Not everyone enjoys sex. To some people, it's not a big excitement.
Don't rely on porn at all. Experiment and ask what feels good, then tell her what feels good. You have to communicate properly.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 September 2016):
 At 2 months, the sex SHOULD be awesome!
Have you had other sexual partners? Has she? Your age tells me that there might be a lack of experience on both your parts here.
First of all, DO NOT COMPARE sex to porn! DO NOT use porn as an education tool to decide how exciting sex with your girlfriend is. IT is fake and it is acting. Yes, the genitals may actually find the "holes", but it's play-acting on both parts. No girl has a 15-minute screaming orgasm unless she's had neurological damage, and then it's not pleasurable screaming!
So don't take tricks from porn, which means don't start thinking that your sex is crap without having anal, or threesomes, or some sort of kinky degradation or asphyxiation.
She may not know that she can be more active in sex! Many women without experience make the mistake of believing that their participation starts and stops with being the "receptacle"for sperm, just lying there until the thrusting stops while faking it.
Get some serious sexual technique books. Visit a sex store and get some fun toys to spruce things up. There are some GOOD and real sexual technique videos at the sex store! Become adventurous! Don't think "oh, it's ordinary" without YOU DOING SOMETHING that isn't ordinary! It's not all on her to blow YOUR mind, buddy!
Have you both tried oral sex?? I'm not talking about the ridiculous exhibitionist "deep throat" porn crap. I'm talking about REAL oral sex, and that means you go down on her as well! Not a couple of fumbling licks, but pitching a tent down there and making her cum over and over again. If you had THAT ability, the word "ordinary" would never escape your lips again. You get a girl who is satisfied to THAT degree, and she'll make sure that you are drained of ALL your bodily fluids in the most excruciating ecstasy ever.
So "unflatten" your sex!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 September 2016):
 Is this your first sexual partner or have you been with other girls before? I think sometimes two people do need to have chemistry, and sometimes there just is none there.
Really there is a lot more you can both do to make it more exciting and fun. Try new things and new positions, dress up or introduce food. Dim the lights and spend longer on foreplay.
Talk to your girlfriend and see what you both would like to try that is new and presses your buttons and then give it a try.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2016): It's all about the chemistry.If you do not have that earth shattering physical/intellectual chemistry with each other from the very start, then it's highly UNlikely the sex is going to be mind blowing.Good sex does not just happen.It starts with chemistry. That is always the foundation. But you have to actually work at it. Put your all into pleasing your partner and they will please you in return. It is reciprocal.It comes with feeling good about yourself and letting go of all inhibitions in the moment. About being creative, adventurous, fun and willing to experiment. It's about being enthusiastic and really into it. It's not something you can teach a person. I believe it comes naturally to some people and to others it doesn't. And I also believe to those it may not come so naturally it does come naturally with the right partner (ie. chemistry). It is losing yourself in the moment and in the other person. It is going with all your senses and feeling the pleasure of everything. I believe kissing sensually opens the door to great sex.It's all about PASSION.Anyone can have sex. Anyone can go through the motions. Anyone can orgasm. And it can all be HO HUM.But you need to find the right partner first. And that means somebody you have great chemistry with. Anything less and you are setting yourself up for a blah sex life.My boyfriend says I am his best sex partner ever and the sex between us is FIREWORS, even three years later. In fact, it has actually gotten better and better. Go figure as my boyfriend is my FIRST sex partner ever. I had no experience going into this relationship. It's my passion and enthusiasm and willingness to please him which sets me over the top he says. And I am always creative. He finds me naturally sexy and I feel sexy. So this helps me to follow my inner Goddess in the bedroom, which benefits him a whole lot! LolToo many people have hang ups in the bedroom and aren't free enough to just go with it. And to find a partner who loves all the same things they do. It isn't so easy finding a sexually compatible partner. Yeah, anyone can have sex. But GREAT sex can remain more elusive.... And if you have it, consider yourself LUCKY!
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (15 September 2016):
Talk to your girl friend about it.
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