A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:this is kind of stupid to ask but i just want to know people's opinion (go easy please :P) i am 18 and over the last 2 years i have had sex with 8 guys. is that too many? does that make me a slut? only 3 of the guys was i in any sort of relationship with. idk im just wondering... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, brighter_than_sunshine +, writes (8 May 2010):
 It is not too many. My biggest problem was feeling pressured into having sex with guys I was interested in because its considered the so called "norm" now days. I thought well if this guy likes me he is wanting sex so here we go. All it got me was a bad reputation once I got in college. Save yourself the trouble if your looking for a relationship take it slow most guys just want a one night stand. Real guys are willing to take the time to get to know you as a person and then experience the joys of making love. If your just looking for fun then go for it lol!
A
male
reader, QB +, writes (22 April 2010):
Practice makes perfect my dear! Be happy that so many guys find you attractive...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your feedback. I guess I just worry a lot about what other people might think of me if they knew this info. I am not ashamed of the number and I have wanted to for almost all of them. I am a sexual person and don't mix emotion with sex even when I am in a relationship. However I do sometimes wish I were a little different. but its hard when my hormones can be this crazy :p we'll see. Again thanks everyone :)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 It depends.
If you have slept with 8 guys because you really wanted each one of them,out of love or out of lust it does not matter, then it's fine.
If you have been with any of these guys because you let them pressure you into it, or because you felt lonely, or because you wanted to keep up with what you friends are doing, in short if it was not really your own wish, then it's too much.
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A
male
reader, Starmonster888  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 No, it's fine. Eight simultaneously, potential problem. Over two years, fair enough.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 As you can see, the answer depends on who you ask. Everyone has a different opinion. But, the more you sleep with, the more people will be critical. How much you care about that is your decision. Some do, plenty don't. I could give you my personal opinion, but that doesn't really matter.
It tends to only really be an issue when you end up in a long term relationship and your boyfriend reacts badly to it. But that depends on the guy, many won't care. But when it happens it really sucks. It happened with me once, and caused a lot of harm to what started as a mutually loving relationship.
The correct answer is: whatever you feel comfortable with. Given that you are here and asking the question, I'm guessing you feel it's too much. In that case, either figure out how to feel different about it (so you don't feel bad), or slow down. It's up to you, only can be the true judge of yourself.
You can also ask yourself if you are willing to be honest to future boyfriends about it. If you can be honest that's good. Honesty is the best policy where possible. If you feel you can't be honest about it, then that can be a problem.
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A
female
reader, Emaz help +, writes (21 April 2010):
 the average people you are meant to have sex with in your lifetime is something like 14 (im not sure if thats male or female) but everyone i know would hit that within a few years. It doesn't matter how many people you've slept with as long as you were safe and don't regret it. i have slept with 11 people in 2years and i know im not a slut. It only matters what you think, if you feel bad for doing it then why do it in the 1st place?.....because you wanted to right? just remember that
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): you have to put your question in perspective. How do yo feel about sleeping with eight guys? Do you feel bad about yourself? Are you worried about the way society views you? Is eight guys to many guys for a man you want to be with too many for him to deal with?
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A
female
reader, rambini +, writes (21 April 2010):
 8 guys is fine, as long as you used protection and were careful it doesnt matter how many guys you sleep with. other people will always judge you, but the only thing that matters is your own self esteem. if you are happy then dont let other people bring you down.
as long as you use protection and no-one gets hurt, then there is no problem. if you want to change your behaviour, change it for you, not for anyone else.
best of luck x
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A
female
reader, confusedgurll +, writes (21 April 2010):
hey .. i dnt tink tht it is a problem,3 of them was a realtionship based. the others was just fun. as long as your careful.if you feel like its what you call normal then thats you. if you feel like its not what you want or feel like its not normal then you have always got time to change. just take a long time to think and just ask your self is this what i want? ... no-one will think differently of you. and if they do you shouldnt care you should just be proud to be you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): I have a friend (21 at the time) who said she'd ONLY slept with 16 guys, now this shocked me to the core because i only envisioned sleeping with 3 guys in a life time. However that is her perspective of normal and the shock was obviously my perspective of normal - doesn't mean one is right and one is wrong, just different choices and views. I think if you are unhappy with the situation (my friend wasn't unhappy for so many a number and i am not unhappy for so little a number) therefore learn from the unhappiness and regret if indeed there is any, and make different choices if you don't like where you are headed now etc. Don't let yourself be judged my other people's standards of how to live YOUR life.
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (21 April 2010):
 Well it seems like you have an issue with it, or else you wouldn't be asking about it. Yeah. It's slutty. If a guy or girl asked this question, I'd say the same thing. Sleeping with five people outside relationships (and obviously the three you had didn't last too long) in a matter of two years is a bit much. But hey, it's in the past, so you can't really worry about it now. All you can do is decide what you're going to do now. Are you going to continue these behaviors? Why are you sleeping with that many people? These are questions only you can answer.
So do you want to change this behavior? Obviously you are little ashamed of it, so maybe you should settle down a bit. Try NOT sleeping with people. Maybe then you'll gain a little insight on what you want in life. Best of luck.
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male
reader, Myau  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 No its fine. How many guys did you think youd date life time?
I thought id never cross the 10 gf mark.........
You will have many relationships in your life, just make sure to apreciate the good ones and to get out of the bad ones before they really hurt you.
All the best
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A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 No, it isn't "too much" and I definitely don't think it's slutty.
How many people you choose to sleep with is up to you. Anyone who looks down on you for it is just insecure about sexuality (that's what it seems to me), and having sex with several different partners shouldn't make you feel ashamed. If it does, then just change your behaviour to make yourself more happy.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (21 April 2010):
18 and 8 guys in two years...yeah, it's quite a bit. I've known worse, but I won't get into that. Obviously, it's something that probably bothers you a little, but you can always change that. Some would consider it slutty, some would not. It's all subjective. However, I wouldn't disclose the number of partners with the next boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, cnith +, writes (21 April 2010):
 8 guys in two years does seem excessive... but that's not the real question. The question I think you're asking is, why did I do this? or Should I be regretting what I've done?
All I can say is, it matters not what you did. It matters what you do from now on. We all make mistakes.
If you think you were 'slutty' by doing this, then you can always change it and pick your partners better. If you think it's OK behaviour then there's no reason to stop, is there?
After all, you're the one who has to live with yourself. What we say or don't say, shouldn't really matter as much as what you say to yourself.
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