A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Can anybody give me some advice?I don’t seem to have any trouble attracting women and consider myself lucky with the number of women I know to talk to. Most of these are women approach me initially. I do consider myself approachable and they think I’m a friendly guy.I do manage to exchange numbers those women who seem keen and do agree to go out for a date.Trouble is I cannot seem to get to that date. I’ll text 3 or 4 times in the first week asking how they are and try to steadily build up to the first phone call and would then ask them if they want to meet up.That’s fine but from the second week onwards it becomes difficult. I don’t want to show I’m too keen but don’t want to appear to be not interested.I’m decent and am a lot more confident than in the past and I know I would treat women well. I have a dry sense of humour though I’m not cheeky when I first meet them.It’s frustrating as they don’t seem to give me the chance to show that.If I leave it a few days I will not receive anything. Eventually they don’t reply if I send a text or to arrange to ring up to talk as a friend. Though I never receive a text or message to tell me not to make contact anymore I do start to worry if i’m becoming a nuisance.Within a month contact is lost and now they have become ‘friends’ that don’t even speak to me.If I see them out I get comments from them saying that they would like to ring me but they are not sure if I’m off with them!! I’ll send a text but they don’t reply. It seems like I make friends with players and not those who are.I don’t think I’m doing any more or less than any of my friends but obviously doing something wrong that I am falling short. This happens with every one I meet.
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female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (26 May 2007):
 ahhh,bless ya. you obviously havnt met the right woman then,have you? i think if this has happened not so long back,when a woman has given you her number,then instead of txt,ring her.
just keep it short and too the point. just say "hiya, its me from the other night,we had a natter and you gave me your number. how are you? well i am not at work this weekend so i wondered if you would like to go somewhere, i will let you choose."
see you wont be asking her anything bad and you are giving her the option on picking the date time and location.
give it a try,im sure you will be fine flower,
i keep my fingers crossed for you.xxxxxxxxxxx
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (26 May 2007):
 Here is my guess...
. I’ll text 3 or 4 times in the first week asking how they are and try to steadily build up to the first phone call and would then ask them if they want to meet up.
First error. The goal is not to go from text to phone. 3 or 4 times in a week is too much attention too soon, and too long to wait to get on the phone. If you text them, focus on getting them to meet you at a function that you are already going to. As in, "Hey, going to the museum on Friday night, come along."
I think you are taking way too long, and by the time you get them on the phone the attraction is dead.
I don’t want to show I’m too keen but don’t want to appear to be not interested.
This is always the balancing act, but I do not think this is your issue. I think you show a lack of dominance.
I’m decent and am a lot more confident than in the past and I know I would treat women well.
Treating women well is OK, but it is not enough. Do you inflame them with passion? You you light up the magic inside her, and make her feel special and unique WITHOUT buying her attention? That is seduction.
It’s frustrating as they don’t seem to give me the chance to show that.
My guess is that you had the chance in that first week, and they made a judgment call on you already.
If I leave it a few days I will not receive anything. Eventually they don’t reply if I send a text or to arrange to ring up to talk as a friend.
WHY? Do you want to be friends, or do you want to date them? Have you considered the possibility that by doing this, some of the women you have talked too felt REJECTED by you, since you act like you want to be friends?
Though I never receive a text or message to tell me not to make contact anymore I do start to worry if i’m becoming a nuisance.
Now this sign of a problem I KNOW. Look at the statement...you are waiting for them to TELL you that you no longer have a chance. Assuming this behavior is something that you regularly do, then I think the overall issue is that you make women feel like YOUR MOTHER. This is not going to make women want to date you. You need to make her feel like YOUR LOVER.
Within a month contact is lost and now they have become ‘friends’ that don’t even speak to me.
Yup, you violated her emotional needs, which is why they do not speak to you.
seems like I make friends with players and not those who are.
I doubt ALL the women you encounter are players. I think you are too unaware of what you are doing wrong that makes them feel un-special.
-Frank B Kermit
franktalks.com
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