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He still wants to be friends...should I or shouldn't I?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 May 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 29 December 2007)
A female South Africa age 41-50, anonymous writes:

"I left my troubled relationship for him. Now he has left me for pregnant ex girlfriend"

He now says he would still want us to be friends.

Do you think its wise for me to be friends with this guy or should i just forget he ever existed in my life and move on?

View related questions: ex girlfriend, move on

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007):

i am friends with benefits with my ex-fiance. i am still in love with him. i beleive he is my soulmate and i have a firm belief we will be together again someday as more than what we are now.

i am patient and will wait life-times for him.

if you feel the same, don't listen to the critics who don't understand.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007):

Hi

Recently in same situation regarding my ex wanting to be friends with me. I feel for your situation, and understand some of how you may be feeling. If I show you how I feel right now about my ex & being friends again maybe it may help you shed some light on what you're going through?

Our relationship ended fairly amicably, but I was very angry at first. I removed all his telephone no.s & email address so as to avoid contact and making rash moves - best thing I did! Gave me chance to concentrate on ME!, move forward & start living again, started to feel alive.

After a month john started to text me about being friends, perhaps going for walks (which I love). I agreed & we met, walked & talked for about 2 weeks, it was lovely.

As I drove to meet him I'd be in tears & same driving home, plus couldn't sleep that night. Eventually realized that the meetings were rekindling all my original hurt at us breaking up, and that I had stopped moving forward and living (sounds like a saddo case, yeah?).After much though and soul-searching I realised that I was only meeting him on the chance that we might get back together - very self-destructive behaviour.

Finally decided only way to move on was to tell him that I wanted NO contact at all, by text, phone etc. for a minimum of 6 months.

It's working!! I no longer hang around 'waiting' for him to call me, and am meeting all my old mates again and LIVING.

All the best to you, and don't forget - Be honest & ask yourself why you're really doing something, you'll know the answer!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for you answers, i really do appreciate them very much and i hope i will be able to get over this guy and move on sooner thani think...

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A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (25 May 2007):

Frank B Kermit agony auntThe friendship with him will hold you back from meeting your future soul mate. You do not have to hate him, or be vicious. You can be civil, but not friends.

-FBK

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A female reader, nicola79 United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2007):

nicola79 agony auntit wouldnt hurt to say hello when you see him but i would leave it at that. it just wouldnt work for the two of you to be pally anymore.

i know you must feel hurt but if he got this girl pregnant, he is really doing the right thing sweety. i know this is may be not what you wanted to here,but you will find someone who is right for you.

i wish you all the best in your life.xxxxx

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (24 May 2007):

DV1 agony auntIf he left you for someone else, he never really loved you. Get him out of your life, and keep him out. Wish him the best, then forget that he ever existed.

DV1

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (24 May 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntI vote for the last choice you gave.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (24 May 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntI vote for the last choice you gave.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2007):

No, no a thousand times no. Keeping friendships with ex's especially the ones you haven't gotten over completely, is always a bad idea. It keeps you from moving forward. It keeps you from being able to devote yourself to someone new. It keeps you in limbo for years on end, and being friends with an ex, means you'll know too much about his current relationship, you know the one he left you for -- and that will make you feel bitter and angry in the long run because let's face it, you'll always be comparing the way he treated you, to the way he treats the new woman. It's a no win situation. Wish him well and then cut the ties. No e-mails, no phone calls, no lunches. Run and don't look back. Good luck.

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