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Younger married man keeps coming back for more and I can't help myself

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 31 May 2008)
A female Australia age 51-59, *endyone writes:

I've been having an affair with a married younger man (alot younger)for 18 months and he is always breaking it off but then comes back for more. I'm hooked on the excitement of the affair (the sex is just so so)and am more than happy to go back. I can't stop thinking about him always. I'm in a relationship with a beautiful man who loves me. How can I stop this destructive cycle?

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (31 May 2008):

eddie agony auntYou've got some issues in your life that need to be dealt with. You are involved in a relationship that is wrong and will eventually be hurtful to many people. "You're in a relationship with a beautiful man that loves you" Do you mean the guy you're cheating with or your actual partner?

Choose the decent path and don't be a cheater.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

Are you sure that the only reason you are sleeping with this married guy is because of the "excitement"? I am guessing there is more to it. A person who values herself highly and has self respect and self esteem wouldnt do that. So I get the feeling maybe you have some insecurities that are leading you to sleeping with this guy as well.

The fact that you said hes younger is a big clue. Geting with someone who is much younger when your in your 40s/50s is a major ego booster. So that in itself is one reason why you may doing it, on top of that, maybe any other past insecurities you have had and maybe you dont feel you are geting all your needs met from your current relationship.

I dont believe that if it was just the excitment that was having you do it tht you would ocntinue doing it and be lost to how to stop it. The fact you are asking for advice on how to stop it suggests there are some underlying issues that you have not mentioned or are aware of just yet. Something to think about...

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A female reader, Aeval Australia +, writes (31 May 2008):

Aeval agony auntWoops sorry, Just realised that it is him who is the married one... easy, tell his wife, you won't see him again i assure you.

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A female reader, Aeval Australia +, writes (31 May 2008):

Aeval agony auntSimple, Cut contact with this man or risk loosing your husband

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A female reader, Aunt Letty United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2008):

You need to take some time to ask yourself some really tough questions and face realities. So to be blunt, it sounds like this younger man lacks some excitement in his married life but knows its wrong, hence breaking it off all the time with you. He knows you'll be there to use for sex when he wants it. You describe your current relationship in terms of what the man feels for you, not what you feel for him. The fact you are willing to cheat on him and constantly think about another man suggests that you are not in Love with this man. I would suggest you get rid of both men and find someone to Love who excites you, but if you are not ready to part from the man who Loves you, I recommend you try to spice things up, play games, role play, anything that will break up the routine you seem to find dull enough to allow you to think about another man all the time. Good Luck.

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