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... Send *ountry Woman a private message | | | *ountry Woman's profile:OK, I wanted to just let everyone know that for now I will not be on the site as I have realised that I need to take some time out for both my own sake and also for my family. I will not delete myself from this site as I totally believe in it whole heartedly as the thanks over the years that I have received from people I have tried to advise has been amazing and given me so much in return. This site helped me get through the loss of my dad in 2007 and I think I hid my grief a lot then but now I need to find my place in my life and need to dedicate all my energy on that goal and also supporting my family as well. Don't ever be afraid to talk to the wonderful aunts and uncles on this site and remember that if Andrew had never started this site so many people would have never had the fantastic advice and help that they needed so much. I will return you can bank on it OK.
A bit about me now I think, hi everyone as it suggests I am a Country Loving woman who has grown up in the countryside and feel very at home in lovely wide open spaces and birds singing in the morning. I am 44 years old and I lived in a semi rural area for over 19 years, my relationship with my long term partner of almost 20 years ended in June 2005.
I still consider my ex as my best friend, we have good and bad days like most people but I try to stay as amicable as possible for my daughter's sake and my own, sometimes things have not always been great during our break up but life goes on.
Even though I am not in a relationship right now, hopefully 2010 may be the year that I can start to dip my toe in the water again on the relationship side of things. Just need the body to wow now, that may take a little longer unfortunately!!! lol
I think that at 44 years of age I have lived a bit and had all sorts of things happen to me so I can only say from my own personal point of view and would never qualify myself as anything other than a helper hopefully.
My motivation in life is seeing my daughter smile and laugh and just being a mum makes me get out of bed every day. I listen to my friends and have some of these since primary school. I like to think that I am a good friend and if I can help someone I will.
I think if someone needs professional help then they should try and get it and I will advise that if it appears that way.
I do believe that life is for the living and we only get one chance of actually enjoying it as too much time is spent on the trivial things of life but after my dad got bowel cancer in 2000 your life takes on a totally different perspective. My dad passed away in Feb 2007 and so I have had personal close bereavement not so long ago and even though people tell you to get on with your life, the reality of it all is not always so clear cut. Although I had to take some time out from this site for me to help my mum and sister I am back to talk any time or try and help. It helps me too if I hear that some of my advice has helped someone deal with a difficult time in their lives as well.
I hope that my advice which is from my personal life experiences help some people and I welcome any response from anyone I try to help.
I hope in some small way I can at least help take away some confusion or hurt from those who are suffering with break ups or all sorts of other problems.
I am not a doom and gloom sort of person and most days have a smile on my face, I totally understand about money worries and the seriousness of how far that can go, even the possibility of repossession, so even if your worries are not relationship based just send me a note and I will see if I can help in any way OK.
Take care and bfn.
Country Woman
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His porn usage makes me feel insecure! How do I tell him?
Q. im a very open minded but i just wonder if any one can suggest how i can tell my bf that his porn internet surfing makes me feel insecure. I look at porn and we watch it together but when i find out he's been looking i worry he will realise there is ...
A. 31 January 2007: I have to say that I was with my ex for almost 20 years and from day one there was always an element of porn in our relationship as years ago it was magazines only and then the occasional video which we used to watch together from time to time.
... (read in full...)
Are we ever going to have a real relationship?
Q. I met this guy a year ago and we became friends who sleep with each other. He made it clear we couldnt become anything more so, I went off with this other guy for a month. when this ended he was there for me and I started seeing him again. he said ...
A. 31 January 2007: So sorry to say it to you but this guy is keeping you in the background as you are always ready to take him back and have no strings sex with him which suits him down to the ground.
If he truly cared for you he wouldn't be keeping an eye out for ... (read in full...)
He helping his best friend open a strip club and this really bothers me! What can I do?
Q. Hi, Im having a problem or should i say a crisis in my relationship with my boyfriend of 6 months. Our relationship has been kinda rocky for about a month now and i don't know what to do. Im really stressed and i feel so alone in this whole thing. ...
A. 24 January 2007: Hi Sunshine2
Your bf is being a friend OK I understand that but your relationship is so young that his loyalty is not with you and I sorry to say that but if after only 6 months you are having problems then the outlook is not good in my opinion.... (read in full...)
He dumped by telling a friend "that everything was closing around him'...what did he mean?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me, saying i was too good for him. A friend asked him why he did it and he said "it felt like everything was closing around him" what does this mean???...
A. 24 January 2007: This guy is just not ready for any sort of relationship by the sounds of things.
Don't get too upset with this, I know it may feel bad right now but he gave you an enormous compliment about the fact that he feels you are great, it is him that is ... (read in full...)
My ex and I are hanging out, but I have no idea where we're going!
Q. I left my son's father almost 8 yrs ago after being together for 8 yrs, yet for 2 yrs we have been hanging out more and even having sexual relations (he cheated on his gf of 2 1/2 yrs for more than half of that time w/ me). But I can't seem to get ...
A. 11 July 2006: What attracts you to this ex of yours?
Do you see yourself with him say after his mother passes or do you truly feel that once a cheater always a cheater?
Personally I can see him getting his cake and eating it right now. You are close becaus... (read in full...)
How do I make it work with my boyfriend and his kids
Q. Have been with my partner a year. He has an 8 year daughter and a 4 year old son. I met them after we had been together 6 months and it has been going great. The kids took to me really well and me to them but recently Ive noticed the little boy ...
A. 23 June 2006: Sorry to say this but being a mum of a 5 year old girl it is easy to see that your boyfriend's son is just literally being a typical 4 year old.
You said you used to get on so he was about 3 and a half at that time, when all children seem to ... (read in full...)
My mom's a business hotshot... So how do I get close to her?
Q. This is going to sound amazing pathetic coming from a guy but here it goes. How do I get closer to my emotionally distant mom? Shes a big time CEO and shes never really been there for me. I've lost count to how many birthays, anniversarys, and ...
A. 22 June 2006: I have to say that Irish49 has said a lot of what I would have said and even though I love my mum dearly for years she could never say the words I love you and it always bugged me.
It wasn't until I was older myself that I pointed it out to her o... (read in full...)
my babys father still loves me!
Q. so my sons father still loves me and he's with his fiance because i dont want to be with him, he asked her to try and piss me off. the thing is that i dont love him or want him. we dont get along well. he keeps emailing me saying how he wants to ...
A. 19 June 2006: Just tell him that whilst you share a son together that is as far as your feelings go for him and if he wants to be a decent father then concentrate on being a proper daddy to your son.
You will always have some sort of contact with this guy beca... (read in full...)
Why do I just stop fancying my girlfriends?
Q. Why do I stop fancying my girlfriends? I have just ended a 2.5 yr relationship with my GF. Almost everything about it was fabulous, we made a great couple, loads of stuff in common. We're now both pretty devastated, and I feel so guilty about it....
A. 19 June 2006: I think this problem is more deep rooted than just a throw away comment about pull yourself together and go and get this girl back.
You need to understand why you behave this way and the fact that you have now recognised this consistent behaviou... (read in full...)
I am about to give birth, my husband has told me that he's not attracted to me and is going to leave me after the birth what do I do?
Q. i am 40 and have been in a loving relationship for 8 yrs. we have a 5yr old girl and i am due today with our second child. my partner has told me over the last month that he feels he has lost any sexual desire for me and that we have become more ...
A. 18 June 2006: I wish you well for Tuesday and at least him staying right now is giving you support for your little girl and you which is important whatever happens in the future.
Like I have said before, just think about right now and then after the baby is ... (read in full...)
I am about to give birth, my husband has told me that he's not attracted to me and is going to leave me after the birth what do I do?
Q. i am 40 and have been in a loving relationship for 8 yrs. we have a 5yr old girl and i am due today with our second child. my partner has told me over the last month that he feels he has lost any sexual desire for me and that we have become more ...
A. 17 June 2006: I am flabbergasted by your partners comments.
How has your relationship changed since you became pregnant?
Is he spending more time away from the home or distancing himself from your child and you?
Not every man is attracted to a pregnant ... (read in full...)
Just hit my 30s... and I'm scared to go out and find the things I want in life!
Q. I’m not sure what’s happening to me, but ever since I hit 30 years old I seem to have been very tearful and started having horrible feelings of anxiety. I have started to lose weight because of the anxious feelings. I didn’t think the weight loss ...
A. 17 June 2006: You are going through all the normal things that a lot of women do at age 30. I was in a long term relationship but you have described a lot of what I felt at that age as I didn't have a child and I felt that I was missing out too.
Yes this sit... (read in full...)
I need tips on how to lose wieght fast
Q. i have seem to get alot of hair for a teenage boy, on my stomach, back etc and ever since i get sad i seem to gain weight even without eating, is this behaviou normal or is not. plzzzz help me im getting worried and need fast tips to lose weight for ...
A. 17 June 2006: You don't say how old you are but yes having hair on your back and stomach etc is all signs of puberty so don't worry about that it is very normal.
If you are gaining weight without eating then there could be a number of things going on as your ... (read in full...)
He takes advantage of my feelings for him, how can I help this?
Q. How do you stop yourself from loving someone? I'm in love with this guy who i seem to think is the nicest guy in the world. I want so badly to stop loving him, because even though he makes me the happiest person in the world when i'm with him, ...
A. 11 June 2006: No one ever said love was easy I'm afraid as we cannot control the way our heart feels or reacts but this is just not love but control and unfortunately you have been caught in that trap and it is the consistency of that routine which you are trying ... (read in full...)
Should my baby have my surname or his??....
Q. I'm pregnant and my babies father 4 years older than me and he wants the baby to have his last name......
A. 11 June 2006: My daughter carries my surname and it has been absolutely fine for the last 5 years. I was with my daughter's father at the time and we were talking of getting married but the registrar said go with mum's name as you cannot change if later if it is ... (read in full...)
Could he snatch my babies if they have his last name?
Q. Hi there, I have a new problem. Im due to hace twins next week. The babies' dad and I split up when I first became pregnant and he has someone new now. I decided I would bring them up myself, I am a mature woman with a good income and these are my ...
A. 11 June 2006: Many congratulations as you are now probably holding your beautiful babies in your arms and feeling absolutely shattered I guess.
I was with my ex for 15 years when I fell pregnant and at the time he said the name was not an issue so I went thr... (read in full...)
I'm not sure where I stand with him, but his friends say he really likes me!
Q. i have been sleeping with this guy for about a year randomly. We have been on a couple of dates, but he's completely unreliable!! he blows hot and cold and i dont know where i stand. all his mates seem to know who i am, and all say he really ...
A. 9 June 2006: I completely agree with Wendyg's comments, this man really does have it on a plate for him whenever he feels like it.
Don't devalue yourself to that degree.
Stop the sex immediately and ask him outright where you stand as you are fed up with ... (read in full...)
Should I trust that it really was his sister that called ? or is he just lying to me ?
Q. My b/f and i were at his apartment last night. We were in his bedroom and his phone rang indicating a text message. It was almost 2 am. He goes to the other room to get his phone and said it was his sister. He stays there for a minute or two and i ...
A. 9 June 2006: How long have you been with your boyfriend?
Yes it does sound a little suspicious as why would he say your mom rather than did you talk to mum so I would be wondering as well if it was me.
Just get his sister's number somehow without him know... (read in full...)
I need help on how to lose some weight!
Q. i am 15 yrs old and i am fat, i have tried everything to lose weight but cant, is their any other way of losing weight, i have the height to hide it but my stomach is the problem, can someone hellp mee please and by everything i mean gym, excercise ...
A. 9 June 2006: By saying you are fat what are we talking here?
Do you mean a stone overweight or more?
How often did you do exercise when you were doing it and what is your eating habits?
I am overweight myself and I have been down the road of loads o... (read in full...)
I want this to work with my online guy, but is he too obsessed with his Ex?
Q. I've met a really lovely man from an internet dating site, Ive met him 5 times and it is early days but he always texts me, rings me and meets me reguarly. Not only that but I really fancy him a lot - almost too good to be true!! I've met several ...
A. 8 June 2006: It really does come down to trust at the end of the day and you have said that this man seems extremely attentive and contacts you often.
Just because you have been let down in the past does not mean that this man will do the same to you.
... (read in full...)
Why does he need porn when he has me?
Q. I have just found out that my boyfriend looks at porn. We have been together for about 9 months. He went to work abroad and I've been out to see him twice now. On my last visit I was using his laptop and found the link in his drop down menu. I ...
A. 7 June 2006: I am afraid to say that it is for the titilation and considering he is in a foreign country to you men think about sex (I think the old quote was something like every 30 seconds - well you get my drift). Anyway, he is looking because he doesn't have ... (read in full...)
I married a guy into his metal music... and now I hate it!
Q. when we got married my husband was interested in metal music. I did not care since i liked pop music and everyone likes different types of music. The problem began when 15 years later he met other people who were mad into this metal music. Now al...
A. 31 May 2006: Hmmm I was similar to you as when I met my ex I was would you believe it a Barry Manilow fan and he was into Kiss and Motley Crue etc.
Anyway, I was quickly converted over to all the Kiss library and Motley Crue and I did love it and dressed ... (read in full...)
He takes no initiative to show me he cares-is he taking me for granted?
Q. We were friends when we developed the liking between us. We kissed. We are together for about 5 months but we have said the magic words, "I Love You" only a few times. he says that one should feel love and not to say it at all tines but I want to ...
A. 28 May 2006: You have only been together for 5 months and relationships do take time to build so perhaps you are expecting a lot more right now than he is prepared to give.
Men don't often say how they feel as they think we are expected to know. Remember... (read in full...)
How do I contact him and tell him my feelings without scaring him off?
Q. Dear Cupid... I am pleased to firstly announce and thank you for taking the time to read this email. Me and this guy have been friends for about nearly one year, and as we have gotten to know each other, I have come to like him and grow strong ...
A. 28 May 2006: How old are you and how old is this friend of yours?
The fact that he is not contacting you via text or email could mean that he has changed his number or email address or it could mean that he doesn't want to chat.
If you are good friends the... (read in full...)
Need more than I'm getting, but I can't walk away!
Q. I have been in a relationship with a man for 3 and 1/2 years now. When we met it was just a bit of fun because I was fully aware that he was in a relationship already. I love him very much, more than I have anybody else and every day I am without ...
A. 28 May 2006: I appreciate the fact that you have been with this man for 3 and a half years but in that time has he ever said that he wants out of the relationship he is currently in?
If he has, then why hasn't he made more of a commitment to you? Even living t... (read in full...)
After my pregnancy the relationship is fading away...
Q. I was in a relationship for 10months then i fell pregnant we split up then got back together when my daughter was born at first our sex life was great but over the last 6months it has gone down hill it does not feel the same as we argue most of the ...
A. 28 May 2006: Relationships always change once a child comes into the scene as the dynamics of how you used to be with one another is no longer the same. Your time is now dedicated to your child and your partner probably feels left out.
How much do you let him ... (read in full...)
I feel like such an idiot and cant get over it!!
Q. Im 22 years old and 3 years ago I met a boy who I fell in love with instantly. I never believed in love at first sight before until I met him. At the time, I was in a long term relationship with a boy and stayed with him for another year, whilst ...
A. 27 May 2006: The time has come for you to unfortunately put the record straight and explain how badly he treated you and depending on the sexual stories that are circulating about you, why not put out your own version, i.e. he wasn't that good in bed or ... (read in full...)
Fallen in love with someone online, but he won't come and meet me! It's been a year already...
Q. Hi, I'm 26 female, and I really need help... I met someone online, and I know online chat is only for entertainment and not for a serious one, but this one I am serious. I met someone for the past 1 year and 7 months and I'm sure I love this guy, ...
A. 21 May 2006: I do agree with Wild Thaing on what he has said about loving yourself.
I am also a single mum with a 5 year old daughter and whilst we all think about our faults, lumps and bumps where we don't want them, well for me that is but at the end of t... (read in full...)
Should I shave it, or not?
Q. I am about to start having oral/full sex with my boyfriend, we have both talked about it and started to experiment but I always stop him before it gets to far, because I always focus on 1 thing. Vaginal pubic hair, I know alot of girls shave it off, ...
A. 21 May 2006: I totally agree with both of the Aunts replies, especially Bev Connolly's very sound and sensible comments.
I didn't shave my pubic hair for my ex but I did have it shaved once for an operation and the itch and the regrowth is horrendous so be pr... (read in full...)
Getting over a relationship
Q. I have broken up with my girl friend after 10 years of relationship. I cannot move on, I always think of her, and I am not motivated to meet new girls. I am not enjoying anything that I do, and I frequently cry. I blame myself for everything that ...
A. 21 May 2006: You are trying to push yourself too hard right now.
When you split from a long term relationship, you have a kind of grieving process and that is quite normal. You are bound to be emotional and tearful so don't beat yourself up about it. We all g... (read in full...)
Fallen in love with someone online, but he won't come and meet me! It's been a year already...
Q. Hi, I'm 26 female, and I really need help... I met someone online, and I know online chat is only for entertainment and not for a serious one, but this one I am serious. I met someone for the past 1 year and 7 months and I'm sure I love this guy, ...
A. 20 May 2006: It hurt me too when I was tricked or my one tried to trick me and a lot of people could say how could you be so gullible but you get drawn in and especially if they know you are insecure or vunerable. I got wise to my one and you are now doing the ... (read in full...)
Partner addicted to porn
Q. Hi. My man looks at porn all the time, I wouldnt mind this but hes got a perfectly good girlfriend who will have sex with him anyway he chooses at the drop of a hat! except he never wants sex anymore. just the porn! We used to look at porn all the ...
A. 20 May 2006: Unfortunately I think when your man is more into porn than you it is a hard pill to swallow.
The net gives him the opportunity of fantasy world and unfortunately you are the real world.
OK so you are horny and you want sex with your man an... (read in full...)
Am I not pretty enough? I think I'm only with him as his last resort!
Q. Hi, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months so far, but we dated before and broke up. After his ex left him he came back to me and I accepted him back, but something inside me keeps telling me he doesn't like nor love me, and he is just ...
A. 20 May 2006: I have to agree with Bev Connolly's comments.
Your b/f was dating you previously and then he had a break and went with this other girl. The fact that he has come back to you means that he enjoys spending time with you for one.
I am concerne... (read in full...)
He got drunk and texted his ex that he still loved her. Now he's sorry, but I don't believe that I'm really Number One!
Q. Hi all, need some advice. I'm seeing a guy now for 6 months and we have recently moved in together. I have 2 kids, he has 1. We have had many obstacles to overcome and have had many arguments, but we love each other very, very much and laugh an...
A. 20 May 2006: I think Martini has covered what he is trying to relay to you and I do agree with his very good comments.
Do you feel anything for the father of your children?
I think we all have special feelings for people we have been extremely close ... (read in full...)
Love my man, but his friends are arranging our whole social lives, all of us together!
Q. Hi everyone I've been in a relationship now for 8 great months, and I mean great. We get on well. Never had a cross word and basically I have never been in a relationship like it before, when I've been made to feel so wanted. But now, over the pa...
A. 20 May 2006: Have you ever had any time on your own with your guy at all?
If he truly loves you then he will see how much this is hurting you and tell him outright that you want some one on one time with him as you think it's great that he has a whole load of ... (read in full...)
Fallen in love with someone online, but he won't come and meet me! It's been a year already...
Q. Hi, I'm 26 female, and I really need help... I met someone online, and I know online chat is only for entertainment and not for a serious one, but this one I am serious. I met someone for the past 1 year and 7 months and I'm sure I love this guy, ...
A. 20 May 2006: I am sorry to say but I don't believe this guy is genuine.
If it has been 1 year and 7 months and you still don't have any contact telephone numbers then he is not genuine.
I ended up getting caught in this trap online and I thought the guy ... (read in full...)
I know that Sis is cheating on her boyfriend. What do I do?
Q. This is a tough question so I thought I would post it here. My sister, who was divorced a couple of years ago, has been seeing a very nice man for a couple of years. I do not think she appreciates what a nice guy he is. She does not live in this...
A. 20 May 2006: Hi in a lot of ways I totally agree with Bev Connolly's comments.
I am close to my one and only sister and over the years I have not agreed with her choice of husband and boyfriends as they are seemed to have a huge P on their foreheads for Prat... (read in full...)
I'm worried that my BF might have genital warts!
Q. Hi--my boyfriend noticed a bump or wart on his penis and he told me about it; we aren't sexually active with each other and he's afriad it might be an STD or genital warts and is going to an std clinic on Monday. I am worried about him and the poss...
A. 20 May 2006: Right now it is all speculation until the results come back so deal with each day as it comes.
Tell him and reassure him that you are not a girl who runs at the first sign of something amiss. If you are afraid of the sexual impact, perhaps ... (read in full...)
Back with my ex but he still sees another girl, help!
Q. i was with my boyfriend for 2 years and 2months,we recently broke up for 2 months and hes with somebody else, were back in touch and its great were sleeping together again and he keeps telling me hes going to break up with his new girlfriend to be ...
A. 20 May 2006: I have to totally agree with Dr Psych here, very good advice as I say exactly the same as her.
A man who gets sex from two sources if laughing all the way what a great scenario eh!!
He is using your vulnerability right now and that is downrigh... (read in full...)
How do I stay friends with my ex
Q. I dated a girl for just over 2 months and it was the best relationship ever. Not only were we a good couple, but we were the best of friends too. At the beginning of the 3rd month she asked me if we could just remain friends as other factors in...
A. 20 May 2006: Wow things are quite stressful for you right now I must admit.
It is never easy to see someone we truly care about with someone else and the fact that you have previously dated is even worse.
Without sounding malicious, how can this man sud... (read in full...)
How do I stay friends with my ex
Q. I dated a girl for just over 2 months and it was the best relationship ever. Not only were we a good couple, but we were the best of friends too. At the beginning of the 3rd month she asked me if we could just remain friends as other factors in...
A. 19 May 2006: Ooh strange that I should mention the decorating thing and the fact that you have already talked about it with her re the new move etc.
Perhaps my antenna is picking up things or something, oohhhh errr missus!!!! lol
OK so the flowers are a no... (read in full...)
How do I stay friends with my ex
Q. I dated a girl for just over 2 months and it was the best relationship ever. Not only were we a good couple, but we were the best of friends too. At the beginning of the 3rd month she asked me if we could just remain friends as other factors in...
A. 19 May 2006: Well done you!!
Can't be easy when you like this girl so much but you do sound like you are being a true friend and every woman appreciates that.
If she needs a man around the house like helping to do any work/decorating then offer!! Always t... (read in full...)
How do I stay friends with my ex
Q. I dated a girl for just over 2 months and it was the best relationship ever. Not only were we a good couple, but we were the best of friends too. At the beginning of the 3rd month she asked me if we could just remain friends as other factors in...
A. 18 May 2006: I personally think that your ex is still trying to find her feet and I wouldn't get too worried about this new man in her life, you have remained a true friend to her and have been there for her so she can trust you, this new guy has not been around ... (read in full...)
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