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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi--my boyfriend noticed a bump or wart on his penis and he told me about it; we aren't sexually active with each other and he's afriad it might be an STD or genital warts and is going to an std clinic on Monday. I am worried about him and the possibility of him having genital warts could mean to us. From what I've researched, I found that genital warts can appear long after having sexual relations with someone who has the wart virus or HPV. His first gf, who he had sex with, later contracted cervical cancer...and I read that genital warts gone untreated can lead to cancer in both sexes.I don't know how to deal with it--I mean I offered to go with him when he gets tested and I tried to calm him down after he told me he might have it, but I think now I'm getting scared too with thinking he might actually have this and it's a virus that never leaves the body--It's not like I'm going to break up with him because he might have soemthing because a lot of people get it and he already felt terrible about it, but I'm scared about what it means to us and I don't know what to really think or do if the results come back that he's positive for genital warts. Can anyone give me any tips on what to say to him or how to stay calm? Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi--thank so much for your responses--I really appreciate it; I really do juat have to wait until a doctor looks at him to make any conclusions...it's just that I was thinking about the future too--if we were to ever get married and have sex..would he ever have a normal sex life? Would he end up transmitting HPV to me? Would I ahve to get pap smears all the time to make sure I don't have it? I have to admit that crossed my mind...I've been telling him the whole time that he shouldn't react to something that may not be anything at all, and now I'm just thinking "what if it is something" and if it isn't genital warts what else could it be? Something more innocuous or harmless and not contagious? All these things passed through my mind, yet I will inform myself about it and how it can be treated and try to calm myself down and then be able to be more prepared with his options after he is seen by a doctor. Again, thanks so much for both of your comments--they helped a lot.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (20 May 2006):
 You are absolutely right to be worried, but don't be scared to death as HPV is a very common virus. It is actually very many virus types, and only a few strains of the virus are associated with an increased risk of cervical and anal cancer. You say his ex had cervical cancer, and most women with cervical cancer do have HPV in their systems. It is thought to reduce the ability of the immune system to recognise and kill off dodgy cells (which go to to form cancer). Cervical cancer rarely happens overnight, usually develops over many years, and that is why doctors run screening clinics - the test results are normal, CIN123 or carcinoma in situ. CIN123 is not cancer but pre-cancerous changes of the cervix and can be treated at outpatients. It is unusual (but not unheard of) for a young woman to get cervical cancer because it usually develops over many years.
HPV is passed on via sex, but also through skin to skin contact. Condoms for men are not effective at preventing HPV in the way that they are useful to preventing HIV, but the female condom is thought to be the most effective way of preventing HPV. Not everyone who gets cervical cancer has HPV, and not everyone who has HPV gets cancer. But it does mean that people with HPV, and their partners where infection is possible, must take care of themselves such as attending health screening programmes regularly, or reporting any skin changes to their doctor who may wish to perform biopsy.
If your BF has genital warts then he needs to seek treatment but you should also stay calm because men and women get all sorts of skin problems on their personal bits including innocent warts and dermatitis as these parts do get rather sweaty. If it is HPV genital warts then he needs to steer clear of any sexual activity (that is fooling around down there with oral sex as much as intercourse) until it is cleared up (and it does sometimes take a while!). The treatment isn't always too pleasant but it is very important that he gets a doctor to help him out here.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (20 May 2006):
 Right now it is all speculation until the results come back so deal with each day as it comes.
Tell him and reassure him that you are not a girl who runs at the first sign of something amiss. If you are afraid of the sexual impact, perhaps talking to your own doctor or clinic is advisable and get the information from the horses mouth. The internet is great for obtaining information but seeing a doctor to get the total facts is the best course of action in the long term.
Wait though until you know for sure about what the situation is and he has the results. Lumps and bumps can come up with a lot of people so it could well be something else that is going on right now for him such as cysts or something which could be completely harmless.
Try to stay positive with your boyfriend and the fact that you haven't had sex right now is a good thing so be supportive in all other ways and keep busy over the weekend so that you are not dwelling too much on Monday.
The ex who had cervical cancer could be a whole different set of reasons so don't naturally assume that this is the result of it or the cause of her cancer. The other point you make is if genital warts go untreated, your b/f is doing the right thing by seeking help so take reassurance from that at the moment.
Offer again to go with him on Monday but understand if he wants to go alone as well. Just don't make too many plans in your head right now and just deal with one day at a time and make those happy days instead of doom and gloom.
It is easy to say try not to worry but your b/f just needs your moral support right now and that is all you can do.
Stay strong and stay positive as things have a way of working themselves out normally.
Let me know how things go eh, but only if you get time.
BFN
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