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... Send *ountry Woman a private message | | | *ountry Woman's profile:OK, I wanted to just let everyone know that for now I will not be on the site as I have realised that I need to take some time out for both my own sake and also for my family. I will not delete myself from this site as I totally believe in it whole heartedly as the thanks over the years that I have received from people I have tried to advise has been amazing and given me so much in return. This site helped me get through the loss of my dad in 2007 and I think I hid my grief a lot then but now I need to find my place in my life and need to dedicate all my energy on that goal and also supporting my family as well. Don't ever be afraid to talk to the wonderful aunts and uncles on this site and remember that if Andrew had never started this site so many people would have never had the fantastic advice and help that they needed so much. I will return you can bank on it OK.
A bit about me now I think, hi everyone as it suggests I am a Country Loving woman who has grown up in the countryside and feel very at home in lovely wide open spaces and birds singing in the morning. I am 44 years old and I lived in a semi rural area for over 19 years, my relationship with my long term partner of almost 20 years ended in June 2005.
I still consider my ex as my best friend, we have good and bad days like most people but I try to stay as amicable as possible for my daughter's sake and my own, sometimes things have not always been great during our break up but life goes on.
Even though I am not in a relationship right now, hopefully 2010 may be the year that I can start to dip my toe in the water again on the relationship side of things. Just need the body to wow now, that may take a little longer unfortunately!!! lol
I think that at 44 years of age I have lived a bit and had all sorts of things happen to me so I can only say from my own personal point of view and would never qualify myself as anything other than a helper hopefully.
My motivation in life is seeing my daughter smile and laugh and just being a mum makes me get out of bed every day. I listen to my friends and have some of these since primary school. I like to think that I am a good friend and if I can help someone I will.
I think if someone needs professional help then they should try and get it and I will advise that if it appears that way.
I do believe that life is for the living and we only get one chance of actually enjoying it as too much time is spent on the trivial things of life but after my dad got bowel cancer in 2000 your life takes on a totally different perspective. My dad passed away in Feb 2007 and so I have had personal close bereavement not so long ago and even though people tell you to get on with your life, the reality of it all is not always so clear cut. Although I had to take some time out from this site for me to help my mum and sister I am back to talk any time or try and help. It helps me too if I hear that some of my advice has helped someone deal with a difficult time in their lives as well.
I hope that my advice which is from my personal life experiences help some people and I welcome any response from anyone I try to help.
I hope in some small way I can at least help take away some confusion or hurt from those who are suffering with break ups or all sorts of other problems.
I am not a doom and gloom sort of person and most days have a smile on my face, I totally understand about money worries and the seriousness of how far that can go, even the possibility of repossession, so even if your worries are not relationship based just send me a note and I will see if I can help in any way OK.
Take care and bfn.
Country Woman
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What's the best way to get over someone?
Q. Im in my late 30's and I've just finished a 4 year relationship because i found out that he was cheating on me with another woman, i was devastated because i thought he was happy with me. How do I get over him? because i feel so depressed, i won't ...
A. 13 May 2007: Just keep reminding yourself that you are doing the right thing and the one thing he hates is the fact that you are ignoring him and he is the schmuck as he has lost you - wonderful you.
Just take one day at a time and although it is hard stay bus... (read in full...)
He said he goes to his ex when hes angry with me to know what his options are ! ! !
Q. I met a man 2 months after my son passed away from cancer. We have been dating 1 year and two months. After 5 years alone I let my walls down to allow him into my life. I immediately fell in love and trusted him fully until I found out he went to a ...
A. 13 May 2007: Hey sweetheart you are NEVER EVER alone and although your son has passed away his spirit is still close by with you every day of your life.
You say you wish your son was around to put his fist in this guy's face, well your son would want you safe... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't keep his hands off me in public. Is this normal?
Q. ok this may sound silly, but my boyfriend is obsessed with my boobs! everywhere we are he has his hand up my top. he even does this in public now. The other day we were sitting watching TV with my parents and he had his arm round me and was there ...
A. 10 May 2007: I was with a man who was obsessed with big boobs for nearly 20 years and even though he loves them completely he would never ever do anything as embarrassing as how your boyfriend has behaved.
Personally I think you need to tell him it has to s... (read in full...)
am I ready for sex? All my friends tell me to do it.
Q. Right... im 15 and i've been going out with this boy for nearly 2 weeks now. He flattered me so much and dumped his nine month GF to be with me... i love him so much and he loves me to. He's fingered me, licked me out and i tossed him off. Next ...
A. 10 May 2007: I have to say that I completely agree with all the others and the sound advice they have given you.
Wait - don't rush this.
We only get this chance once so why the hurry to give it up to the first boy who comes along. It is not a race betwe... (read in full...)
What's preferrable: big boobs or small boobs?
Q. So, what do guys prefer?? big boobs or small boobs?? Personally ive got big boobs so knw how guys react to them. But really wats better?? xxx...
A. 10 May 2007: Well like anything else, all men are different, some like bums and long legs, some like red heads, or blonds or women with black hair.
Boobs are the same, a lot of men like women who are big chested as it is a turn on but again you can't pigeon h... (read in full...)
I have been seeing this man who is 21 and i am 14 and he is doing some stuff to me that i dont understand and i dont want him to do!!!
Q. I have been seeing this man who is 21 and i am 14 and he is doing some stuff to me that i dont understand and i dont want him to do, 1st he said i like u will u meet me and because ive liked him for ages i meet him, and got in his car because i ...
A. 4 May 2007: Please please please sweetheart talk to someone close to you like your mum or sister if you have one or even a teacher at school.
I know personally from a close family relative that a similar situation arose with her but she was a little older th... (read in full...)
I lost my Father...Does anyone have any advice for how I can step out of this cycle of regret I seem to be in, since he died?
Q. My father died last October and I'm feeling quite upset and regretful for not having enjoyed my life more for him to see while he was alive. He was a beautiful, lovely man and died at 60, well before his time. I am 32 and although I know he was ...
A. 4 May 2007: Hi I can totally connect with what you have written as I lost my dad in February this year after a very long time of illness which spanned the last 2 years.
My dad was basically given 2 weeks to live by doctors in January 2005 and then he amazed t... (read in full...)
Mouse on the run
Q. HI guys this is a story to make you laugh on a cold grey day! I used to live with a bloke years ago, we had a son together, well, enough of that! He was a bit challenged in the brain department, something I didn’t quite notice when we met, sham...
A. 4 May 2007: A good one and yes it did make me laugh which was well and truly needed today so thank you as never see any on this site like that.
If you have plenty more then I say bring it on eh!! lol
Take Care
Country Woman
P.S. living where I do ... (read in full...)
I am worried that if I apply for this job I won't have time to dote on my BF anymore!
Q. I have worried myself sick over this -- am thinking of applying for a job, but the job specification includes much more time, etc. than originally perceived. I fear the impact on my relationship with my bf will be ultimately negative. I dote upo...
A. 4 May 2007: Listen worrying about this will make you ill and that is not good.
If your bf loves you he will want to do well for yourself as it is a confidence boost for you and having a successful gf is also an ego boost for him.
Why are you doting so mu... (read in full...)
Hes chatting on the internet to women, he wont give me his password, should I trust him ?
Q. hey there my patner and i have been together for 6years.we have just got the internet and i have found out that he has been talking to this"lesbian" who after 2 days of talking went into where he worked and gave him her mobile number.apparently she ...
A. 3 May 2007: I can partly understand what cd206 is saying as privacy is something we all need from time to time and I know that having his bank details and being able to open his post is extremely trusting.
However, the internet is an extremely weird place an... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my husband, but with a really nasty guy, I crave him and I dont feel guilty for it!!
Q. I am 29 years old and have been married to my husband for 7 years. My husband is very good to me, is a hard worker, very physically fit, attractive... About 6 months ago I started seeing a man at work who is 39, divorced, has four children, and has ...
A. 3 May 2007: Oh sweetheart what a tangled web eh!!
All the advice you have given by all the others is certainly sound advice and the fact of the counselling I think is essential.
This guy is a user and once a user always a user. He is divorced with 4 ... (read in full...)
Were giving it another go and I'm really making the effort as she asked, but shes always in an aggravated mood!!!
Q. So after the fighting and arguing me and my girlfriend decided to give it one more shot to see if things could change, and she asked was that I put more effort into the relationship. So thats what I'm doing but she still seems in a aggravated mood ...
A. 3 May 2007: You are both skirting the problems here.
What happened was any one else involved in your problems previously?
You say you are giving it another go, what went so horrible in the first place?
I am not trying to proportion blame here bu... (read in full...)
What's the best way to get over someone?
Q. Im in my late 30's and I've just finished a 4 year relationship because i found out that he was cheating on me with another woman, i was devastated because i thought he was happy with me. How do I get over him? because i feel so depressed, i won't ...
A. 1 May 2007: Wow what fantastic advice you have received from AskEve and RoyoftheRovers, I totally agree with both of them.
You have been part of a couple and when you feel content and happy in a relationship we don't always see the awful bombshell that is ... (read in full...)
Im really hurt by what his family say to me, he doesnt care and says I'm taking it too personal!!!
Q. I have been married for 7 years but from the begining my husband familiy made it clear that they don't like me even now they still make me feel unworthy by saying little comments here and there but my husband thinks that i take things to personnaly ...
A. 1 May 2007: I think the fact that this behaviour seems acceptable to your husband and your pain is not being noticed is not something that can continue it will create a massive void between you if let unresolved.
I think you need to really get your husband ... (read in full...)
My bf is the "Picture Guy" Am I being dramatic by seeing it as more ?
Q. Ive been dating my boyfriend for about five months now, and ever since I met him he's been known as "The picture guy"...When everyone's out he takes all the drunken pictures and sends them to them by email so they can have them. Alot of them are ...
A. 1 May 2007: Sounds to me like your boyfriend could be bi-sexual, is he?
The sexual references he makes to the girls seems to me like he is totally getting aroused by the images, it really does depend on if likes both sexes or not?
The problem is that ... (read in full...)
He said he goes to his ex when hes angry with me to know what his options are ! ! !
Q. I met a man 2 months after my son passed away from cancer. We have been dating 1 year and two months. After 5 years alone I let my walls down to allow him into my life. I immediately fell in love and trusted him fully until I found out he went to a ...
A. 1 May 2007: I am so sorry to say this but you deserve so much better than this man.
He came into your life when you were extremely vunerable and in need of an enormous amount of support and love. He has abused this trust you placed in him.
You have supp... (read in full...)
Is he trying to let me down gently?
Q. i have been seeing this guy for 4 months. since the first kiss i've known he is the one. but we have only had one kiss and only been intamate during sex once. (we only had sex 5 times). he wheres a ring composed of his ex fiancee's engageme...
A. 28 April 2007: Wow how fantastic good counselling definitely gets to the root of problems and makes you talk openly to a third party so there is no hiding behind things.
I take my hat off to you both because you are both at least trying to make things work and... (read in full...)
Is my lover playing hard to get?
Q. Hi guys Gosh life can change suddenly! Here's the background info for my post. My first ever relationship I met the most amazing girl ever when I joined a school in Jan 2005, it was love at first site (although I didn’t realise then), I d...
A. 28 April 2007: I think the truth here is only going to come from this girl you fancy and no one else, don't trust any text only word of mouth face to face from her and no one else.
Stay back at the moment and see what happens, trust no one right now as they are... (read in full...)
Is my lover playing hard to get?
Q. Hi guys Gosh life can change suddenly! Here's the background info for my post. My first ever relationship I met the most amazing girl ever when I joined a school in Jan 2005, it was love at first site (although I didn’t realise then), I d...
A. 26 April 2007: Wow, you are in a pickle aren't you.
I have to pop out now but I will try and help if I can maybe later on this evening.
I one thing I would say is don't get yourself so churned up inside.
You have given this girl a lot to think about and n... (read in full...)
Is he trying to let me down gently?
Q. i have been seeing this guy for 4 months. since the first kiss i've known he is the one. but we have only had one kiss and only been intamate during sex once. (we only had sex 5 times). he wheres a ring composed of his ex fiancee's engageme...
A. 25 April 2007: Well I think the pregnancy affected him a lot more than he let on at the time and as your relationship has not been for a long time I think that so much happened so quickly that it basically freaked him.
He could well be seeing a counsell... (read in full...)
Is my lover playing hard to get?
Q. Hi guys Gosh life can change suddenly! Here's the background info for my post. My first ever relationship I met the most amazing girl ever when I joined a school in Jan 2005, it was love at first site (although I didn’t realise then), I d...
A. 25 April 2007: I have to say that going through a third party is never good, I realise you have found this all very confusing but I think friend 1 has her own motives here and possibly has feelings for you herself.
I would try and get a chance to speak to the g... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my sister's boyfriend's daughter. What can I do?
Q. what should i do? i think i am in love with my sister's boyfriends daughter and i think she feels the same. Nothing has ever happened i mean we haven't even kissed but there is just soo much between us. I think of her nearly every minute of the day ...
A. 23 April 2007: How old is your sister's boyfriend's daughter btw?
I think this is a really complicated situation and I would not do anything at the moment until you are certain about the feelings on both sides as this could cause an almighty war between the two ... (read in full...)
He's getting texts at weird times and I think he's lying to me. Am I right?
Q. i really need some unbiased advice. im 29, married (hubby 50). the thing is, hubby does occasions mechanical work on vehicles, purely an occasional sideline., there is a woman, around my age, that became a customer last year, but over the past month ...
A. 23 April 2007: Listen anytime you want to chat we are all here for you and even our own mailboxes if you want to chat to someone in particular.
I can understand how your dad does not want to change his life, I think the older we get the more we come to realise ... (read in full...)
I feel lonely and drown myself in drink every morning.
Q. I have a problem i am lonely and I drink before I go to work in the morning I have an Irish Coffee than when I go home Scotch and Whisky I need help. *Moderator Note: next time, extra information would be helpful - eg: your situation, why you are ...
A. 20 April 2007: OK look like the moderator has said, you really do need to explain a little about what is going on in your life right now and why you are substituting drink for comfort.
The first thing you have done and I take my hat off to you is to realise ... (read in full...)
He's getting texts at weird times and I think he's lying to me. Am I right?
Q. i really need some unbiased advice. im 29, married (hubby 50). the thing is, hubby does occasions mechanical work on vehicles, purely an occasional sideline., there is a woman, around my age, that became a customer last year, but over the past month ...
A. 20 April 2007: So the question is now, are you still with him or is he out on his ear?
Seems to me that you have been through the mill with everything else going on around you.
How is your dad btw, has he been given the all clear on the cancer?
I kno... (read in full...)
Is it safe to have sex when one is pregnant?
Q. i am 9 weeks pregnant, and it hurts to have sex sometimes. is it safe to keep doing it or not? ...
A. 14 April 2007: OK so you are still in the early stages of pregnancy, sex is safe during pregnancy as any midwife will tell you.
Your body is going through so many changes right now and so tenderness around the vagina area and in your breasts is very common a... (read in full...)
I feel tired and have breast tenderness, but no period due to this pill I take. Am i pregnant?
Q. I just started taking a birth control pill that is supposed to give you 4 periods a year. In the first week, I had sex with my boyfriend - and yes, we did use a condom. It's 3 weeks into this birth control stuff and I'm feeling tired all the time ...
A. 14 April 2007: Hmm I agree with the other advice the other aunts have given you.
I would check out this pill on the net and see what the side effects are, the breast tenderness and sleepiness does come when you are even coming up to a period or during one.
... (read in full...)
I keep finding girls things in his apartment, am I over analysing here or is he cheating on me?
Q. I hope I'm not being incredibly naive about this but could this all just be a bunch of coincidences? My b/f just moved into his own apartment (Feb '07) and the people who lived there previously left some stuff there. He has friends over a lot and ...
A. 14 April 2007: Sounds to me that there are too many coincidences but the fact that he doesn't seem to bother when you chuck stuff out does not sound like a guilty guy I must admit.
The points others have raised about the other woman wanting their stuff back is ... (read in full...)
Im married with a child and one on the way! I have an attraction to another man what should I do ?
Q. What should I do, feelings for another man I am a married woman with one child and another one on the way. Last year at a party a ex colleague got drunk and told me of his affection for me. I admitted that I had feelings for him as well. We are ...
A. 13 April 2007: Oh sweetheart you are in a pickle aren't you I do feel for you.
You are a mum and also a new mum to be and your hormones are all over the place. How far gone are you in the pregnancy are you in the early stages or are you further along?
So you ... (read in full...)
I had an affair, I really regret it, Im so riddled with guilt and so scared my family will found out!!!!
Q. i need help! i am a married woman and i had an affair with a married man, i just hate myself, and i dont want my husband to find out, it would ruin him, and our kids also the guy i had an affair with has two kids, i would do anything if i could take ...
A. 13 April 2007: Listen I think Midge has given you sound advice on this subject.
Regretting what you have done does not alter that it happened and living in fear for the rest of your life is not fair to your husband, children or even yourself.
They always s... (read in full...)
Do you think my boyfriend is using me?
Q. i have a boyfriend who is not working, i do everything for him. i have just given him my credit card because he had no food in his flat but he spent R2000. now i have opened a business and bought a car now he wants to be a partner with me. i dont ...
A. 12 April 2007: I have to totally agree with the comments that Kenny has given you already.
A man who is not working but is happy to sit around and let his girlfriend buy him food and then take advantage of her credit card is not a true boyfriend but a user.
... (read in full...)
Should I ask a guy out on a date OR go with the theory if he really likes me he will go out of his way to make contact?
Q. Help!! Should I ask a guy out on a date OR go with the theory if he really likes me he will go out of his way to make contact? I know all about women's lib and all that but isn't it true that if guy really likes a women he will make a move?? Thanks...
A. 12 April 2007: I can only say that both answers hold merit that you have already received.
We are not in the 1950's like you say and all about Women's Lib, you are too long dead so what is the problem are you shy?
This guy could be so tense about being knoc... (read in full...)
I love him but it's the same, boring routine, week in and week out! Should I just end this?
Q. Hi I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years.Everything has been fine but now over the past 2 months everything seem's to be falling apart.We still get on and are so much in love,but things for me has got very stale and comfortable.I have sug...
A. 12 April 2007: I have to say that the response you have received from Billy B is very good advice.
I can totally agree with what she is saying.
Sounds to me that no matter what sex your partner is the mundane routine of day to day life may well suit them d... (read in full...)
Why should I even try... he was looking at porn even as he was babysitting our kids!
Q. found out husband has been on internet porn communicating with numerous women for over a year secretly. as we have had very little sex for over 7 years I find this not only extremely humiliating and painful but an insult to how attractive I am as ...
A. 6 April 2007: Hi,
OK the deceit and lies are part of the painful fact of your husband looking at porn. That hurts and no one can stop that for you unfortunately.
We always look at ourselves to see what is wrong with us rather than what is wrong in the rel... (read in full...)
My wife is perfect but Im not happy, I have found true Love but feel I owe my wife too much to leave her!!!!
Q. I am a 36 year old man. I am married. I made a terribly mistake and got married because I was just too cowardly to say "I don't bother want to do this". I am married for 5 years now. There is almost no fun in my marriage. My wife and I have a little ...
A. 6 February 2007: You say you want to be a big man and do the right thing.
By cheating behind your wife's back I feel this is not fair to her. She may not be perfect but honesty costs nothing and you should have told her how unhappy you were before you went off... (read in full...)
How can I stop feeling really obsessed with my ex bf?
Q. Me and my ex broke up 3 weeks ago and i still really like him but he is already with someone else we were together for 2 years and i'm really hurting, i don't really have anyone to talk to but him and all i want to do is ring him and talk to him, ...
A. 5 February 2007: It is never easy getting over a past relationship and two years is quite some time of being with someone, it isn't a few weeks or months it's much more than that.
You have got so used to one another and you can't change that overnight.
The fac... (read in full...)
I want to see her as an innocent princess again... but can't get the explicit stuff she told me about her past out of my head!
Q. How can I get over the details my girlfriend has told me about her previous sex life? I've been living with my girlfriend for around 9 months now, there is very strong love and co dependency going on both ways. We have had a rocky relationship to ...
A. 4 February 2007: OK first of all I am not about to slate you for feeling like this whole thing has left you jaded about your gf.
At the end of the day we are all human and I don't think anyone gets through life without a few things they are either ashamed ... (read in full...)
How can we stop this fighting and love eachother in peace and happiness like the other couples around us?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been through so much for almost two years, and we love eachother SO much. It started out when I was going through emotional hell, I am now I have come a long way. I'm now a much more happy, independant person. He has come a ...
A. 4 February 2007: I think your bf is giving you some space, you sound extremely insecure and very needy and that sometimes pushes the one closest to you further away.
You centre your whole world around him and that is an awful lot of pressure for anyone to take let... (read in full...)
Do I tell him how I feel and work it out as good friends and rational adults? Is it possible? What if he feels the same about me? Will I be the worst kind of home wreker?
Q. Hi, I'm in love with a friend - my partner in our small business. I can't quite figure out his fellings for me. He just got fake-married for legalization issues. He is a very kind and great friend, but he didn't told me about the marriedg...
A. 2 February 2007: I think honesty is always the best policy.
OK firstly you gave him support and advice when you were unavailable and your situation has changed since then so stop beating yourself up about that.
He married someone for legalisation rea... (read in full...)
Help! There's yellow, watery stuff coming from 'down there.' What is it?
Q. im 16..and i have a some question that need to be answer plzz!!..i dont know if this is because of sex or not..but i seem to be getting white or yellowish watery stuff comes out..and sometime it smells weird..what is this?..sometime i even think i ...
A. 1 February 2007: Presumably you are sexually active?
Semen can be very fishy smelling depending on the what your partner eats and digests.
Obviously you know that this is white/yellowy and watery to a degree.
The other side of things is that yes all females ... (read in full...)
He's a selfish kind of lover in bed. I told him this and he said he'd try harder. But now nothing has changed. What can I do?
Q. me and my bf were talking about how we enjoyed the sex we had. He said everything was fine and he couldn't think of anything he'd perfer me to do. I told him as nicely as I could that he was selfish when it came to doing me. Which it ture, after he ...
A. 1 February 2007: Stop pleasuring him unless he gives you some pleasure first. If others haven't complained then he has obviously had sex with several and they must have just been excited about the sex side of things and pleasing him.
Sex and oral sex is somethin... (read in full...)
He watches porn all the time... which makes me insecure!
Q. About a month ago I was looking through my boyfriends online history and saw a lot of porn sites. I never knew that he watched porn but this knowledge didnt really bother me until I started checking his history on a daily basis and saw that he ...
A. 31 January 2007: I am guessing your bf is a similar age to yourself?
Look porn is normal for a lot of men and years ago it was magazines and the occasional videos depending on where you could get hold of them.
Now since the internet has exploded you can... (read in full...)
His porn usage makes me feel insecure! How do I tell him?
Q. im a very open minded but i just wonder if any one can suggest how i can tell my bf that his porn internet surfing makes me feel insecure. I look at porn and we watch it together but when i find out he's been looking i worry he will realise there is ...
A. 31 January 2007: I have to say that I was with my ex for almost 20 years and from day one there was always an element of porn in our relationship as years ago it was magazines only and then the occasional video which we used to watch together from time to time.
... (read in full...)
He's getting texts at weird times and I think he's lying to me. Am I right?
Q. i really need some unbiased advice. im 29, married (hubby 50). the thing is, hubby does occasions mechanical work on vehicles, purely an occasional sideline., there is a woman, around my age, that became a customer last year, but over the past month ...
A. 3 May 2006: I have to be honest here, if there is nothing to hide then why won't he show you the text messages from the male friend (so he says).
This woman is the same age as you and he is obviously flattered by the fact that a younger woman has shown in... (read in full...)
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