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... Send *ountry Woman a private message | | | *ountry Woman's profile:OK, I wanted to just let everyone know that for now I will not be on the site as I have realised that I need to take some time out for both my own sake and also for my family. I will not delete myself from this site as I totally believe in it whole heartedly as the thanks over the years that I have received from people I have tried to advise has been amazing and given me so much in return. This site helped me get through the loss of my dad in 2007 and I think I hid my grief a lot then but now I need to find my place in my life and need to dedicate all my energy on that goal and also supporting my family as well. Don't ever be afraid to talk to the wonderful aunts and uncles on this site and remember that if Andrew had never started this site so many people would have never had the fantastic advice and help that they needed so much. I will return you can bank on it OK.
A bit about me now I think, hi everyone as it suggests I am a Country Loving woman who has grown up in the countryside and feel very at home in lovely wide open spaces and birds singing in the morning. I am 44 years old and I lived in a semi rural area for over 19 years, my relationship with my long term partner of almost 20 years ended in June 2005.
I still consider my ex as my best friend, we have good and bad days like most people but I try to stay as amicable as possible for my daughter's sake and my own, sometimes things have not always been great during our break up but life goes on.
Even though I am not in a relationship right now, hopefully 2010 may be the year that I can start to dip my toe in the water again on the relationship side of things. Just need the body to wow now, that may take a little longer unfortunately!!! lol
I think that at 44 years of age I have lived a bit and had all sorts of things happen to me so I can only say from my own personal point of view and would never qualify myself as anything other than a helper hopefully.
My motivation in life is seeing my daughter smile and laugh and just being a mum makes me get out of bed every day. I listen to my friends and have some of these since primary school. I like to think that I am a good friend and if I can help someone I will.
I think if someone needs professional help then they should try and get it and I will advise that if it appears that way.
I do believe that life is for the living and we only get one chance of actually enjoying it as too much time is spent on the trivial things of life but after my dad got bowel cancer in 2000 your life takes on a totally different perspective. My dad passed away in Feb 2007 and so I have had personal close bereavement not so long ago and even though people tell you to get on with your life, the reality of it all is not always so clear cut. Although I had to take some time out from this site for me to help my mum and sister I am back to talk any time or try and help. It helps me too if I hear that some of my advice has helped someone deal with a difficult time in their lives as well.
I hope that my advice which is from my personal life experiences help some people and I welcome any response from anyone I try to help.
I hope in some small way I can at least help take away some confusion or hurt from those who are suffering with break ups or all sorts of other problems.
I am not a doom and gloom sort of person and most days have a smile on my face, I totally understand about money worries and the seriousness of how far that can go, even the possibility of repossession, so even if your worries are not relationship based just send me a note and I will see if I can help in any way OK.
Take care and bfn.
Country Woman
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Who do I believe...my bf or my ex best friend?
Q. Ok...I'm super confused! and i have no idea what to do! ok, this is complicated so read it slowly to understand. I'm in love with his guy who also loves me. (or so he says) and I've believe this for 6 yrs but today I have doubts. We haven't bee...
A. 30 October 2007: Listen any time OK.
Glad to hear that you have regained your friend, they are always the ones who stick by you at the end of the day, men come and go eh!.
Take care and keep on smiling. Good for you girl.
BFN
Country Woman... (read in full...)
We get on like a house on fire theres a spark missing when it comes to sex!
Q. Hi just a quick one. Ive recently started seeing one of my ex's again and although we get on like a house on fire theres a spark missing when it comes to sex. We slept together before we broke up (nearly 2 years ago) but haven't this time rou...
A. 26 June 2007: To be perfectly honest you have said you have had dry sex (with clothes on right now), so where is the real foreplay here.
True foreplay is actually touching one another and kissing softly all over the body, kissing on the stomach, chest, arms, le... (read in full...)
We get on like a house on fire theres a spark missing when it comes to sex!
Q. Hi just a quick one. Ive recently started seeing one of my ex's again and although we get on like a house on fire theres a spark missing when it comes to sex. We slept together before we broke up (nearly 2 years ago) but haven't this time rou...
A. 26 June 2007: The only thing I can say as I am not someone who has slept with loads of guys in my life but I do think that foreplay is always a good way in which to get the sexual juices flowing so to speak.
Did you ever dress up in sexy underwear and fool aro... (read in full...)
Is it true that women don't like sex?
Q. I carry this predisposition about women that they don't like men, sex and any kind of male intimacy. May be based on my mom's attitude. Also i find it inadequate if the women i am having sex with doesn't like it or has a negative impression about it ...
A. 26 June 2007: No your ideas that women do not like sex is completely off track.
It is a case that depending on the person you are with and the way in which you interact with them means that the sex is either good or bad.
Personally I was with my ex for a... (read in full...)
Our relationship is wearing me down--what can I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, we have lived together for two. For the last year I feel as though we are more like roommates than anything. We don't talk because every time I try, he just gets offensive. We have only had sex twice in...
A. 25 June 2007: Tell him that things have got to change sweetheart.
Relationships do change after a child comes into the frame, you are the one who is doing all the childcare by the sounds of things and this should be a 50/50 situation.
Does your bf play wit... (read in full...)
I really fancy my teacher and I think she feels the same
Q. Hey, I know this sounds daft but I think my teacher fancies me. 2 years ago we got too close and were told this by another teacher, however i got in trouble for bein too close to the teacher and nothing happened to her. Nothing happened between ...
A. 25 June 2007: Listen I think the fact that you were all over your girlfriend and tried to make her see that you are already involved actually made her react in the way she did.
It was like a come on and if you are trying to distance yourself from her then don... (read in full...)
text The father of my child is willing to give up his rights of our daughter to me.
Q. The father of my child is willing to give up his rights of our daughter to me....which is a blessing (for me) he is about to lose as a father. I think he's trying to get out of as much of financial responsibility of our daughter as much as he ca...
A. 24 June 2007: At the end of the day what do you want to happen?
This guy is not a sound father figure and what sort of message are you giving to your daughter if he is an infrequent dad who will not pay his way when it comes to his children.
No true fathe... (read in full...)
I really fancy my teacher and I think she feels the same
Q. Hey, I know this sounds daft but I think my teacher fancies me. 2 years ago we got too close and were told this by another teacher, however i got in trouble for bein too close to the teacher and nothing happened to her. Nothing happened between ...
A. 24 June 2007: Keep telling yourself that she is your teacher and as such she should know better.
She is in a position of authority and care and it is not fair of her to do this to you.
Yes she may well be fit but at the end of the day it can never go anywher... (read in full...)
We agreed to try for a baby--now he wants me to get rid of it!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years we are also living together. We both agreed to try for a baby--then last week when I found out I was pregnant I told him and he was so disappointed and told me to get rid of it. I was so confused...
A. 24 June 2007: Do not be forced into doing anything against your will.
Let him leave, surround yourself with your family and friends. He was willing to have fun whilst making this baby but now reality has kicked in he is running scared.
Let him go, if he is... (read in full...)
My husband "jokingly" puts me down--is he doing this on purpose to hurt me?
Q. My husband, who I love very much, constantly puts me down in a 'jokey' way. He never pays me any compliments and didn't want our baby, he stares at other women all the time and I feel like he is just waiting to get a British passport. However he ...
A. 24 June 2007: I think you need to tell him that you don't like the jokey way he puts you down. If he is a foreigner and has a baby with you then does he feel like you made him have the baby and it wasn't a choice on his part?
I think even little put downs ar... (read in full...)
He says he needs his space and it hurts, as I'm not used to it
Q. My boyfriend and i are going out for almost two years and we got really serious! we're madly in love with each other but for the past two weeks he has been busy and im not getting to spend as much time as i want with him! suddenly, we became distant ...
A. 24 June 2007: It all depends on what your behaviour is like.
Are you extremely possessive of his time and who he sees?
We all need our own independence even in a relationship like spending time with our friends and family and that goes for both men and wom... (read in full...)
I found out that my husband is sending emails with photos of himself in his underwear! What am I to think?!
Q. Recently I found out my husband has been emailing photos of himself in underwear to another man. I was emailing a friend we haven't seen for a long time some photos of our recent holiday, checked the outbox to see if it had sent, and was stunned ...
A. 21 June 2007: When a man says to his wife or partner - it's none of your business - he is just bricking it as he has been found out.
Silly really as he hasn't really tried to hide it very well.
When a man sends pictures of himself in underwear to ano... (read in full...)
My husband is a dirty stop-out!
Q. How can I keep my husband from coming in after 12:00 midnight. ...
A. 21 June 2007: Do you have children?
If he is coming home and it is late and it is on a regular basis without explanation then you need to sit down and talk to find out what is going on.
Failing that, bolt the door love and when he tries to bang the door do... (read in full...)
The handcuffs are stuck on me because I lost the key... help!
Q. I ended up fooling around with my friend last night. He happens to be my neighbor, we're both the same age and we're both in the middle of weird breakup situations so I personally feel it's nothing serious. However, what's even kind of more ...
A. 14 June 2007: Well you could always go to the police and say that your partner was getting over zealous with mucking around and the chain broke and now you don't know where the key is.
Yes they will have a giggle but I think they also have to have a level of... (read in full...)
He has started with the online porn again and we have no sex life. Do I leave?
Q. My husband and I have been married a little over a year. He has told countless lies, primarily about money and online pornography. We went to couples counseling briefly, and it was pointless. Now I don't ever believe anything he says. He has ...
A. 14 June 2007: Oh god you can't think that you are the unattractive one here.
Your husband is the one who is putting his own needs first and forgetting his wife.
They always say the first year of marriage is the hardest but he has to understand your ... (read in full...)
Help I feel like a fool but can't stop wanting him.
Q. I am 30 and have a 9 year old daughter. I was with her dad for 10 years. I was treated badly by him. It's been 5 years and I've been alone and feel ready to date. I meet a Lebonese man he's so hot. He lives in the same complex. He came over when my ...
A. 13 June 2007: Oh sweetheart you don't deserve to be used and I am not convinced that this guy is not doing that.
OK all of us want to be loved one way or another but don't go back into something that you got out of with your daughter's father.
Don't be some... (read in full...)
My family does not like my boyfriend. Could it be that I'm blinded by love and they are right?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for 8 months. He's wonderful, and treats me like a queen. Problem is, when I introduced him to my family, my sister did not like him. That, in turn caused a couple of my other family members and friends to question his ...
A. 12 June 2007: It does seem strange that your sister should take an instant dislike to your bf and 2 hours is not a long time to judge someone completely.
Did your bf act arrogant in any way or was he very nervous during this meeting?
Have you asked your s... (read in full...)
Who do I believe...my bf or my ex best friend?
Q. Ok...I'm super confused! and i have no idea what to do! ok, this is complicated so read it slowly to understand. I'm in love with his guy who also loves me. (or so he says) and I've believe this for 6 yrs but today I have doubts. We haven't bee...
A. 11 June 2007: You have trusted your gut instinct on this and only time will tell if he is telling the truth or not.
Tread carefully with this at the moment as the last thing I would want to see is you getting hurt.
Unfortunately until you have concrete ev... (read in full...)
32 and don't feel like making love to my hubby!
Q. i have been with my husband for 14 years and we have 3 children. We are quite well of and want for nothing material.The problem lies with my lack of sex drive. When my husband turns me on then yes i'm up for it and enjoy it but it's not one of my ...
A. 11 June 2007: Oh sweetheart, no you are not in the wrong on this one.
Your husband could well be in the midlife crisis and craving a lot more attention/sex to verify that he is still attractive.
OK so money is not an issue, do you work or are you a housew... (read in full...)
I think he's living with someone else. He only calls me during weekends, or when he wants to have sex. How do I let him know I'm not happy with our relationship?
Q. So ... I am going out with this guy ... he is nice ...few years older than me ... everything was great ... until I found out,he lives with someone. Anyway .. he told me they are breaking up .. and that she is moving out .. so I gave him a ch...
A. 11 June 2007: I know the message you highlighted was for Elsie but just wanted to say that at the end of the day - good for you girl.
No one can be in your shoes and know your relationship or situation as well as you can so every decision has to be yours.
... (read in full...)
I think she is out of my league what do I do?
Q. There is this one girl - I have never met anyone like her before. I barely get to see her and it is making me want her more. The problem is, she is outta my league what do i do?...
A. 10 June 2007: OK so who says she is out of your league?
Don't put yourself down in that way, you are great and you should believe in yourself.
No one is better than anyone else.
So are you a really awful person? I am guessing NO!
Are you so bad to... (read in full...)
I feel bad for cheating on my boyfriend yet I want this other lad..but is it worth finishing my boyfriend for?
Q. Please help Ive been with my boyfriend for 9 months at the end of the month and I honestly love him as hes the nicest lad ive ever met..but theres somebody else. Hes a work mate, but we dont work together very often but i see him occasionally at ...
A. 10 June 2007: OK, from what you say, you have said about cheating on your bf but what it sounds like was a lot of snogging and it didn't go any further than that? Am I right or not
This other guy is moving away in 2 months and so he won't be on your doorstep... (read in full...)
We got back together after his cheating, but he still continues to chat sexily with others!!!!
Q. I have gotten back with my boyfriend of two years. We went through a hard stage of cheating. He says he wants to be with me but behind my back he is messaging other women asking to 'start talking' with them. I even caught him telling his ex she ...
A. 10 June 2007: If nothing else just stay strong, positive and focused OK.
He will not know what to do when he comes across the new you who is strong and not prepared to put up with his lies anymore.
I get the impression though that you have now taken off th... (read in full...)
We got back together after his cheating, but he still continues to chat sexily with others!!!!
Q. I have gotten back with my boyfriend of two years. We went through a hard stage of cheating. He says he wants to be with me but behind my back he is messaging other women asking to 'start talking' with them. I even caught him telling his ex she ...
A. 8 June 2007: Once a cheater always a cheater in most cases, not every case but I think your ex is still liking the fact that he can play the field.
I think you are worth more than what he can offer you and if he wants to keep women on the side then that is ... (read in full...)
My bf cant make the trip with me, and hes cross at me for going alone, should I feel guilty ?
Q. Hi everyone. I have been with my bf for four years. This summer I had been thinking about going to the east coast to visit my sister. My bf said he didnt want me going by myself and that he would come with me. He didnt invite himself - he was ...
A. 8 June 2007: No one should say that you have permission to do anything especially when it is visiting your family.
I think your bf has put you under too much pressure already.
He said he was coming with you and now he can't - why should you miss out on ... (read in full...)
He restrained me and I felt threatened by it. Am I over reacting?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 14 months. The other morning he woke up and asked for a cuddle of which I gladly gave him. He then said it was not the cuddle that he wanted, he wanted a big cuddle. He then held on to my clothes and would ...
A. 8 June 2007: If your bf becomes too aggressive or hurts you in any way either by being playful or daft then NO you still have every right to feel that you are not happy with this behaviour.
If he is restraining you and it continues in a pattern then I would sa... (read in full...)
why would a 16-year-old boy have over 60+ bottles of slimming pills in his bedroom and in his loft??
Q. I am a mother of two. My sons are 16 and 21. My youngest one (16) is studying at college, my 21 year old one is in university. When I was cleaning out the house the other day, I found 20 bottles of slimming pills in my 16-year-old son's room + ano...
A. 8 June 2007: OK sweetheart,
Calm down first of all, do you notice your 16 yr old son doing strange things at all around meal times or erratic eating at all?
If the answer to the above is NO, have you considered that he may be selling these pills to raise f... (read in full...)
Who do I believe...my bf or my ex best friend?
Q. Ok...I'm super confused! and i have no idea what to do! ok, this is complicated so read it slowly to understand. I'm in love with his guy who also loves me. (or so he says) and I've believe this for 6 yrs but today I have doubts. We haven't bee...
A. 7 June 2007: If the whole argument centred around your ex bf there is a good chance that this is her way of getting him out of your life but I would do as Chrissy32789 suggests and see if she will make the phone call so you know the complete truth.
I would ta... (read in full...)
My husband turned into a slob that never wants to have sex! How can I help him get back his zest for living?
Q. My husband's personal hygiene is bad. He doesn't change his underwear everyday. I've tried to help him with it, but he just seems to go blank if its mentioned. He gets showered everyday, and uses deodorant but that's about it. He seems to wear the...
A. 7 June 2007: Have you ever really sat down and talked about what is going on with him.
Sounds like your both not that old and to have lost that spark at his age seems a bit premature to say the least.
Is he worried about anything to your knowledge? Money... (read in full...)
He watches porn! Do I not satisfy him anymore?
Q. I have been with my partner for 5 years, married for just over a year. Our sex life is great, but he watches porn when i'm not there. We had sex last night, but when i went to work this morning he masterbated. I've asked him about it, he says every ...
A. 7 June 2007: Just look at the statistics sweetheart, apparently men think about sex about every 30 seconds or something, wish that women had that sort of drive but we just have to get on with life.
We are the ones having the children, doing the housewor... (read in full...)
Hubby thinks I'm selfish because I like to have sex more than one time in a session! What should I say to make this better?
Q. My husband and I have been married four yrs. He just recently let me know that he doesnt like asking if i went before he cums during sex. Along with that he let me know he kinda thinks im selfish for wanting to go more then 1 time. What should i do ...
A. 7 June 2007: I think it all depends on if this is just sex or oral sex to start with as a man normally knows when a woman has an orgasm.
Number of times during sex is not the important thing but having sex more than once a week is a bonus to anyone I think.
... (read in full...)
He wasn't on the up and up about a night out with the lads! Do I have a right to be upset?
Q. i have been with my bf for almost 3 yrs so we really love each other. he is goin away in 3 weeks for 2 months and i wont see him. he is also goin to a festival this weekend and has decided to go early tmo without telling me. when i rang him earlier ...
A. 7 June 2007: Sounds to me like when he told you he was seeing this friend it was originally the two of them but then it could have spiralled into a lads night out.
To be honest, your bf is probably trying to ease your feelings by the fact that the lads nee... (read in full...)
Who do I believe...my bf or my ex best friend?
Q. Ok...I'm super confused! and i have no idea what to do! ok, this is complicated so read it slowly to understand. I'm in love with his guy who also loves me. (or so he says) and I've believe this for 6 yrs but today I have doubts. We haven't bee...
A. 7 June 2007: Chrissy 32789 has got a point, that is one way to find out the whole truth.
The other part that I am confused about is you say about your ex best mate, why is she your ex best mate and then you are listening to what she is saying, doesn't totally ... (read in full...)
I'm due to go away on holiday, but feel my anxiety will ruin things! How can I stay calm and be excited to go?
Q. I think I am may have a mild Anxiety disorder. I am due to go away on holiday with my girlfriend and without my family fairly soon and Im feeling quite stressed and anxious about it. Though deep down I'm looking forward to it as I get bouts of ...
A. 6 June 2007: One thing I did mention before was that I became very anxious about going away one year as I knew I was going to France on a motorbike with my partner who I trusted completely but a previous year I had freaked as the pillion as you are on the wrong ... (read in full...)
My ex split with me to date another female-so I moved on to another guy. Now my ex wants me back! Any advice?
Q. I have recently split from a 4 year relationship due to my partner thinking he wanted space but then i found out he was meeting another girl which he claims is all innocent. We split just before christmas and i started to get on with my life and i ...
A. 5 June 2007: Unfortunately I feel like the ex just wanted what he couldn't have and if he has made the mistake then that was down to him.
OK he may have changed but there are no guarantees at all.
He basically put a new female infront of a relationship tha... (read in full...)
We avoided talking about our break up in our chat, so how can I approach him about it? I want to talk about what happened and if we can be friends!
Q. I asked a question on here on the 3rd june asking about emailing an ex, and not wanting him to get the worng impression. Well tonight, 4th june, i was typing along to a friend on MSN when he sent me a instant message. We had a good chat but it w...
A. 5 June 2007: I think start the conversation lightly and jovial and then gradually ease into it.
Say you are worried about something about yourself like - do you put a man off or something, I don't know the reasons for your split so I can't fully tell you what... (read in full...)
I'm due to go away on holiday, but feel my anxiety will ruin things! How can I stay calm and be excited to go?
Q. I think I am may have a mild Anxiety disorder. I am due to go away on holiday with my girlfriend and without my family fairly soon and Im feeling quite stressed and anxious about it. Though deep down I'm looking forward to it as I get bouts of ...
A. 5 June 2007: Is this all holidays or is this because you are going with your girlfriend?
Have you been away with a gf before?
Where are you going on holiday? Is it a long flight or a long way away?
There are many ways to calm yourself before going aw... (read in full...)
I keep getting teased by friends saying I look much younger than my age.
Q. im 13 and im going out with this boy every thing is fine but his mates who go to a different school to me all say that i look like 7 but then other people I know say i look older than i am, i dont know what to do coz im embarrassed of what they say ...
A. 5 June 2007: Look at the end of the day when all your friends get older and you have the younger face then good for you, at this age it feels awful for you because of the teasing but in years to come, you won't be the one having the botox pumped into your lines ... (read in full...)
I'm scared in case I lose the happiness that I have just found.
Q. Last year I was in a relationship with a girl who I loved a great deal and i thought that she felt the same, she found out that she was pregnant and in september last year she had a baby girl, i dont know if she is my child, I was used and hurt by ...
A. 2 June 2007: Does your new gf know the whole situation about this past relationship i.e. the baby etc?
I think you will always live in doubt unless a DNA test was taken.
Has your ex every asked you for support financially at all or made any demands on y... (read in full...)
Suddenly there are new friends in her life since our break up, and I don't like it!
Q. My ex and I have had relationship probems since the beginning of our relationship, however we have a deep passionate love for eachother. Right now, we are not together but are discussing possibly working things out, however there are certain ...
A. 1 June 2007: Right now I don't think it would be right for you to go back into a relationship with your ex and I think she is probably feeling the same way.
You are trying to be too controlling and why do you have such a jaded opinion of a woman having m... (read in full...)
Sometimes I wake up and for a while my world feels like it's tumbling into Hell.
Q. Sometimes I wake up and for a while my world feels like it's tumbling into Hell. I cannot explain this because I can find happiness in friends, the arts, nature...but for some reason I have mornings where I wake up and feel "Oh God this life is ...
A. 31 May 2007: Hey sweetheart I think that the trauma's in your life have certainly taken their toll on you and I glad you are seeing a counsellor again.
Have you told your counsellor about these feelings in the morning that you get?
It could be to do with yo... (read in full...)
He taking a female friend to the cinema and I'm jealous. How do I deal with this 'jealousy bug'?
Q. My boyfriend recently bumped into an old friend and agreed to go to the cinema with her, just the two of them. I felt a bit uncomfortable with this so asked if he could take a friend with him just to put my mind at rest. I know he loves me, and i ...
A. 31 May 2007: Have you ever thought that your bf was just being nice to this old friend and the thought of a movie was just that a nice thought and nothing more.
Love can be all consuming and if you revolve your world around your bf then you don't have a life o... (read in full...)
I know I love him, but sometimes I feel I don't like him! We fight all the time. What can we do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year and 9 months now. When the relationship started everything was wonderful and perfect and i was so in love with him, it was amazing. About six months into the relationship we started fighting a ...
A. 31 May 2007: You are still young and this relationship is a lot to take to take on at any age.
It has not been a short relationship either so it must have started when you were even younger.
New relationships are always good at the beginning but as... (read in full...)
I think he's living with someone else. He only calls me during weekends, or when he wants to have sex. How do I let him know I'm not happy with our relationship?
Q. So ... I am going out with this guy ... he is nice ...few years older than me ... everything was great ... until I found out,he lives with someone. Anyway .. he told me they are breaking up .. and that she is moving out .. so I gave him a ch...
A. 26 May 2007: OK so I think the whole thing here is that take him up on his offer to sleep over whenever you want to but never pre plan it.
If the ex is still sniffing around you will soon see by his reaction. Do it more as a spur of the moment thing.
... (read in full...)
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