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... Send *ountry Woman a private message | | | *ountry Woman's profile:OK, I wanted to just let everyone know that for now I will not be on the site as I have realised that I need to take some time out for both my own sake and also for my family. I will not delete myself from this site as I totally believe in it whole heartedly as the thanks over the years that I have received from people I have tried to advise has been amazing and given me so much in return. This site helped me get through the loss of my dad in 2007 and I think I hid my grief a lot then but now I need to find my place in my life and need to dedicate all my energy on that goal and also supporting my family as well. Don't ever be afraid to talk to the wonderful aunts and uncles on this site and remember that if Andrew had never started this site so many people would have never had the fantastic advice and help that they needed so much. I will return you can bank on it OK.
A bit about me now I think, hi everyone as it suggests I am a Country Loving woman who has grown up in the countryside and feel very at home in lovely wide open spaces and birds singing in the morning. I am 44 years old and I lived in a semi rural area for over 19 years, my relationship with my long term partner of almost 20 years ended in June 2005.
I still consider my ex as my best friend, we have good and bad days like most people but I try to stay as amicable as possible for my daughter's sake and my own, sometimes things have not always been great during our break up but life goes on.
Even though I am not in a relationship right now, hopefully 2010 may be the year that I can start to dip my toe in the water again on the relationship side of things. Just need the body to wow now, that may take a little longer unfortunately!!! lol
I think that at 44 years of age I have lived a bit and had all sorts of things happen to me so I can only say from my own personal point of view and would never qualify myself as anything other than a helper hopefully.
My motivation in life is seeing my daughter smile and laugh and just being a mum makes me get out of bed every day. I listen to my friends and have some of these since primary school. I like to think that I am a good friend and if I can help someone I will.
I think if someone needs professional help then they should try and get it and I will advise that if it appears that way.
I do believe that life is for the living and we only get one chance of actually enjoying it as too much time is spent on the trivial things of life but after my dad got bowel cancer in 2000 your life takes on a totally different perspective. My dad passed away in Feb 2007 and so I have had personal close bereavement not so long ago and even though people tell you to get on with your life, the reality of it all is not always so clear cut. Although I had to take some time out from this site for me to help my mum and sister I am back to talk any time or try and help. It helps me too if I hear that some of my advice has helped someone deal with a difficult time in their lives as well.
I hope that my advice which is from my personal life experiences help some people and I welcome any response from anyone I try to help.
I hope in some small way I can at least help take away some confusion or hurt from those who are suffering with break ups or all sorts of other problems.
I am not a doom and gloom sort of person and most days have a smile on my face, I totally understand about money worries and the seriousness of how far that can go, even the possibility of repossession, so even if your worries are not relationship based just send me a note and I will see if I can help in any way OK.
Take care and bfn.
Country Woman
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Could I be pregnant even though I'm on the pill? Help!
Q. hi im 19 years old nd iv bin on the pill on and off over 3 years now,i've bin takin it 6 months now with no breaks in between no missin pills or nothing,taking it as prescribed.a week ago i slept with my ex boyfriend,id taken the 9th pill that ...
A. 10 April 2008: OK so hopefully it will be how to talk to prospective in-laws eh!!! lol
Best of luck to you.
Glad you are laughing and joking again,.
Take care.
Country Woman... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant even though I'm on the pill? Help!
Q. hi im 19 years old nd iv bin on the pill on and off over 3 years now,i've bin takin it 6 months now with no breaks in between no missin pills or nothing,taking it as prescribed.a week ago i slept with my ex boyfriend,id taken the 9th pill that ...
A. 10 April 2008: So glad that you are now fine and everything is back to how it should be. Yes a hard lesson learned but it will make you stronger in the long run.
Good luck for the future and always remember we are all here for you at any time, no matter what the... (read in full...)
Do people really ever get over there ex's or even worse first exe'?
Q. My ex cheated on me and we have now been seperated for 8 months. I was in alot of pain as he continued to see her after we split. I always felt more pain as he had stayed with her and I used to think 'if only he was with someone else it would not be ...
A. 3 April 2008: Ooh so sorry for writing war and peace on my reply I realised afterwards, glad some of the advice you have had from all 3 of us has helped.
Just keep thinking positively and believe me it does get better.
Keep smiling eh!!
BFN
Countr... (read in full...)
Do people really ever get over there ex's or even worse first exe'?
Q. My ex cheated on me and we have now been seperated for 8 months. I was in alot of pain as he continued to see her after we split. I always felt more pain as he had stayed with her and I used to think 'if only he was with someone else it would not be ...
A. 3 April 2008: Sweetheart getting over a cheating ex is never easy, believe me.
I was with my ex for almost 20 years and yes he cheated on me and he is now with that person. But he hasn't been completely honest in that relationship so a leopard doesn't change t... (read in full...)
When you first start 'showing' during pregnancy.....?
Q. When you first start 'showing' during pregnancy, does it look and feel pretty much like a fat stomach? Or does it feel different from fat - is it more firm, or hurt if you hit it? Thanks :]...
A. 3 April 2008: The fact that you are asking what a pregnant tummy feels like tells me that you either suspect that you are pregnant and hae missed a period or something or more periods that have been missed.
The one true way of knowing if you are pregnant... (read in full...)
How can I move on! when the past still upset's me?
Q. I've tried my best to save my marriage of 22 years but failed. We finally diovrced. I've met this man 18 years my senior, he is very supportive during my divorce. We've been together for a year now. We gets on well and our love is growing. Im ...
A. 2 April 2008: Sweetheart although I was not married I was with my ex for almost 20 years and they do say that every relationship has a period of grieving.
It doesn't matter whether there was awful things said at the time of a breakup for resentment for your par... (read in full...)
I want sex without putting in the work like listening, talking, etc.....what do you think?
Q. I'm 21 years old, single and I know a couple of girls I could be dating right now. The thing is, I'm only looking for sex at this point of my life :D I'm not interested in spending time listening to her, hanging out, etc. All I want to do with ...
A. 1 April 2008: OK so your 21 so I guess cash is not huge in your life right now and hiring a hooker i.e. paying for it is not what most guys want to do as it has a stigma attached to it if your mates ever found out.
My advice is OK you could go to bars but I th... (read in full...)
I broke up with my ex but would like to remain friends. How long should I wait to contact him after splitting?
Q. Hi, I broke up with my boyfriend through SMS some time ago (the reason I gave was that we were both too busy to have a relationship, it had become almost impossible to chat with him even through phone or meet up due to his busy schedule) and he...
A. 1 April 2008: In all honesty if he isn't taking your calls then he is either angry or hurt and it doesn't sound like he wants to stay in touch with you.
Ending it by SMS is not the face to face type of thing and he may not want to be your friend as he feels th... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant even though I'm on the pill? Help!
Q. hi im 19 years old nd iv bin on the pill on and off over 3 years now,i've bin takin it 6 months now with no breaks in between no missin pills or nothing,taking it as prescribed.a week ago i slept with my ex boyfriend,id taken the 9th pill that ...
A. 1 April 2008: Yes I can only agree with phiatiger in as much as it would be very unlikely if he didn't come inside of you and you are already on the pill.
I personally think you are stressing out unnecessarily and you need to think about why you ended up sleep... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant, by these signs?
Q. hi. my boyfriend and i had unprotected sex on saturday. and ever since monday morning my breasts have been very sore (tender). and this morning around 10am i was feeling so nauseas..but never throuwed up could i be pregnant? i have been using birth ...
A. 1 April 2008: Sweetheart tender breasts can be for numerous reasons but most commonly due to hormonal changes and if your period is coming due then they can be very swollen and tender and sometimes quite hard to the touch.
I doubt very much that you are preg... (read in full...)
Does he love me? Why does he carry on leaving me?
Q. ok so this is the situation, i met this guy and we spent everyday together for 3 weeks from the 1st day we met, we only had our first kiss after 3 weeks and went to into a relationship, everything was going fine for about 1 month then he broke up ...
A. 1 April 2008: Sweetheart while he is telling you he loves you and it is on his terms things seem to be fine but when you tell him you love him too it seems to freak him out and he probably thinks, ooh committment issues.
I would not play this game forever ... (read in full...)
How should I break up with this guy? He keeps cancelling dates to see me!
Q. Hi, I'm was in a relationship with a guy but lately, we haven't been seeing each other. When I ask him out he agrees readily, but in the end he always cancels for some reason or other and he will contact me to apologize and reschedule the meeting. ...
A. 1 April 2008: Well I think by your current response you have now dealt with the situation with this guy and you can now draw a line under it all.
Don't feel guilty at any point now or in the future, if he has chosen to ignore your calls then that is his prob... (read in full...)
The love of my life is getting married, how am I supposed to get over this?
Q. How do I get over someone I am in love with getting married within the next year? Please help my entire body hurts. I was taken when he wanted me then he found her. I know it's not meant to be but just tell me how to get over it. Don't say time bec...
A. 28 March 2008: Oh believe me it is never easy and I have been trying to get over someone I fell for in June 2005 and he has had numerous girlfriends since and he has given me very positive signals and then a new girlfriend appears and I am back to square one.
... (read in full...)
I just lost my virginity- it hurt him because I'm really tight- will it get more comfortable?
Q. hey, i lost my virginity two weeks ago. my boyfriend said that i was 'tight' and it hurt him a bit. Anyway, we did it again and although it didnt hurt him this time it still hurt me a bit even though he was gentle and he kept asking me if he wanted ...
A. 28 March 2008: Listen it is bound to be tender or sore right now, it always is at the beginning and it can remain that way for a while so unless there is foreplay beforehand that allows you to relax a little and in time things will get easier.
At the beginnin... (read in full...)
He is joking with me about our past...but what does he want?
Q. ok i broke up with this guy 6months ago, we later started talking, and he would joke with me at work place about how he touched me, he would jokingly tell me how he worked hard to get me pregnant. he would always be the first to notice my facial ...
A. 27 March 2008: Sounds to me that he has not forgotten the time you were together and when you start to remember the good times it is normally a sign that they are remembered with affection.
Perhaps he wants a second chance, I'm not sure, if it is driving ... (read in full...)
In a relationship for six years and I don't want to ruin it but feeI have more in common with my co-worker...any advice?
Q. I am 24 years old manager at a retail store, i have know this co-worker of mine for four years, she is 22 years old. She had quit this retail job and went to work at a bank, from all the other co-workers i kept in touch with her the most, mostly by ...
A. 27 March 2008: I must say that I agree with the advice you have already been given by Laura1318, when anyone is in a long term relationship you get settled into a routine and the sparkle of when you first met and possibly had lots of sex is gone now and life in ... (read in full...)
I'm fifteen and want a baby with my boyfriend (16), should I wait?
Q. Ok your gonna all think I'm absoultely crazy and some may tell me I need mental help but please tell me your thoughts about what I'm about to tell you ok. Ever since I was very young I've wanted a baby.I'm 15 years old now . I know I'm going t...
A. 26 March 2008: Good girl you do have a good head on your shoulders and the one comment you got back saying go for it cannot be from someone that mature in my opinion.
I know you have made the right decision.
Perhaps getting a part time job doing some babys... (read in full...)
I'm fifteen and want a baby with my boyfriend (16), should I wait?
Q. Ok your gonna all think I'm absoultely crazy and some may tell me I need mental help but please tell me your thoughts about what I'm about to tell you ok. Ever since I was very young I've wanted a baby.I'm 15 years old now . I know I'm going t...
A. 26 March 2008: Sweetheart you are living in a fairytale picture of the whole scenario right now and believe me I am 42 and I have a 7 year old daughter so I have a little bit more of life experiences under my belt and being a single mum is not easy.
You say your... (read in full...)
I'm a sexy single but I can't find that special someone so should I move to greener pasteurs?
Q. Ive come to the conclusion I am never going to meet anyone special. Im 35 and without being big headed v attractive, fit, with my own home car etc. I was badly hurt 4 years ago and took the time it needed to get over it but Ive been single for ...
A. 26 March 2008: OK so you say you have all it takes to attract the man of your dreams, but do you honestly?
Are you into a materialistic world or are you down to earth?
When we are single we have different objectives and what is important in our world is com... (read in full...)
How should I break up with this guy? He keeps cancelling dates to see me!
Q. Hi, I'm was in a relationship with a guy but lately, we haven't been seeing each other. When I ask him out he agrees readily, but in the end he always cancels for some reason or other and he will contact me to apologize and reschedule the meeting. ...
A. 25 March 2008: Whoever has said that either phoning or emailing him is insensitive has not been the one sitting at a table waiting for someone to arrive as you have and they haven't even had the common decency to phone you and say they can't make it. If you wa... (read in full...)
I'm having mental health problems and I think it is partly because of stressing out over "im"!
Q. Hey dudes/dudettes this week has been a rollercoaster week for me...i was diagnosed with depression at the begining of the week, i was also given pills to help stop anxiety and worrying all the time, ive had blood tests and im gna be going in for ...
A. 25 March 2008: Kassie The best way to handle this is to ignore him as that will probably bug him even more. Right now you need to heal yourself and not worry yourself about him, you are the important one here and yes your depression could well be down to... (read in full...)
How can I leave my husband with out hurting my kids?
Q. To explain my question I have to give some back ground. I grew up with extreamly over protective parents and was never allowed to date. Two months after I graduated high school I moved out. Two days after I moved out I went on my first date and was ...
A. 25 March 2008: If you originally got joint custody you must have some rightss, you have been looking after these kids as if they were your own and that sleaze of a husband probably wouldn't give a damn about them anyway, OK so he fought for custody but was it ... (read in full...)
How can I leave my husband with out hurting my kids?
Q. To explain my question I have to give some back ground. I grew up with extreamly over protective parents and was never allowed to date. Two months after I graduated high school I moved out. Two days after I moved out I went on my first date and was ...
A. 24 March 2008: Well the big quesiton in all of this is do you want all of the children to be with you and I know that is a terrible thing to say given the situation when you fought for custody but was that your voice or that of your then husband?
So if I am rig... (read in full...)
I wan tto get my stuff from my ex's place, but don't want to speak to him. -Help!
Q. when is it ok to go to my ex's place and get my things that are there? it's only been 3 days dat we've broken uppp...i wudn't go see him but i really need the stuff but i don't wana talk to him eitha...
A. 24 March 2008: Have to agree with my good friend Mandy here, you don't to talk to him so what other options are open to you, perhaps a text or email asking for a suitable time to go and get your stuff and yes as Mandy suggested either ask him to bag it up but if ... (read in full...)
My husband rarely wants to talk or have sex! Am I overreacting?
Q. Hello, I have been with my husband for over 18 years, our eldest child is nearly 17. In all that time he has never made me feel special. I have always worked and tried hard to be accomodating to him. (I admit that sometimes I have gone 'off t...
A. 24 March 2008: Sweetheart you have nothing to reproach yourself for here, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
You both work and so it should be a 50/50 situation and when it falls onto one persons shoulders all the time it just isn't fair. The old sayi... (read in full...)
My husband rarely wants to talk or have sex! Am I overreacting?
Q. Hello, I have been with my husband for over 18 years, our eldest child is nearly 17. In all that time he has never made me feel special. I have always worked and tried hard to be accomodating to him. (I admit that sometimes I have gone 'off t...
A. 24 March 2008: Sweetheart if you are turning to the bottle for comfort and companionship then things seriously need to be addressed.
You say your eldest child is 17 so basically an adult, do you have other younger children at all?
When did these problems s... (read in full...)
Do men ever go for a girl with personality over looks??
Q. I'm not ugly, i have been told i am pretty and i have a unique personality but my problem is there is always someone who is hotter!!!! I know men should really go for personalities but ,most of the ones in thier 20s go for pure hotness and i dont s...
A. 23 March 2008: Hmmm that is a hard question, men in their 20's are normally not looking for personalities as you state as they are young very hormonally raging males so looks are what stands out for them right now.
You don't want to give yourself a reputati... (read in full...)
He suggested that we see where things go...but I am scared to get hurt again.
Q. I met a man on-line 2 yrs ago. We met and had an instant connection. Our relationship was a LDR for months. He was going through a divorce and also was leaving for Iraq for a year but we managed to stay in contact while he was gone; then everythi...
A. 23 March 2008: I am afraid I would be cautious as there has not been loads of contact and so if you really like him take things slow, don't let her heart run away with you, listen to your head OK.
Meet up if you want to but just don't go head long into this rig... (read in full...)
Who do I choose, I cant make my mind up?
Q. i have been dating two girlfriends for about three years now. it has reached a time i want to settle down with one but i have found very difficult to drop one. i fear hurting the victim because both of them love me so much. please help, i want to ...
A. 22 March 2008: I'm sorry but you have been stringing two women along for three years and that is so wrong, I can't understand the plea for help as one woman should be enough for any man and you surely realise which one means the most to you.
I am afraid that you... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend going off me? He very rarely kisses or hugs me.
Q. My boyfriend very rarely kisses or hugs me. Well I only get them if I go up to him and give him them. We hardly ever have sex when we first met, we used to have a great sex life now we hardly have any sex. It seems to me that he just isn't botherd ...
A. 22 March 2008: Go for it girl, you have all the right intentions so the rest is really up to him.
Look I just don't want you to stay in something if you feel you are getting nothing in return that's all.
Right now time will tell and if you are not asking t... (read in full...)
Is he behaving reasonably? Should I end it?
Q. My boyfriend of one year has a son with a woman he was never married to. They split custody for the most part, but all according to her preference, she uses him mostly like a Baby sitter and this bothers him. He constantly complains about her and ...
A. 21 March 2008: No sweetheart this weird relationship is not normal. No two relationships are the same but yes she is using him and I would not trust her as far as I could throw her. Whilst she is so controlling of him you will never get a look in. He has cheated ... (read in full...)
My husband cheats on me. How will I manage financially if we go our separate ways?
Q. right now, i know my husband cheats on me.i saw a receipt that he send money to this girl, spent his credit card to her. he promised to be with us during holy week but 2 days before,he left and said something happened in his other area. so i ...
A. 21 March 2008: Sweetheart he is not supporting you and your children emotionally and if he is cheating on you and spending money on another woman then he does not care anymore.
Surely you can get some financial help from the government or something as other si... (read in full...)
He still lives with his ex! Am I being unreasonable?
Q. I started going out with my boyfriend 2 years ago. He has an ex who is his best friend and he told me from the beginning no one would ever come above her (which was ok to begin with but I thought i might come close after 2 years?!) For the first 6 ...
A. 21 March 2008: OK I know from my own experience about living under the same roof as an ex and all I can say is that my ex moved out of the jointly owned home in June 2005 and we lived separately for 18 months but I still saw him every day as we run a business from ... (read in full...)
I felt really confident about myself until finding out that my BF's ex is a supermodel!!
Q. Been going out with this gorgeous guy for the last couples of months and really like him. We spend hours in bed just cuddling, it's lovely. I recently found out that his ex girlfriend was a supermodel. I'm not exaggerating either - she actually ...
A. 21 March 2008: Sweetheart you have got him now so don't compare yourself to a supermodel, they are the so called beautiful people who are so into themselves that they treat others with contempt and little else.
You have seen these programmes on TV where th... (read in full...)
I'm about to break off my engagement to be with another guy...
Q. i really need help ! The other day i pretty much lost my mind, im not all innocent and everything but iam engaged but ive been seeing this other guy sort of as a friend but it turned into way much more. when he told me he was in love with me...
A. 21 March 2008: I think you have basically answered your own question as such, you are no longer in love with your fiance and the fact that it is a distant relationship and his family don't get on with has not helped in how you feel about him.
OK so you had sex ... (read in full...)
We've been together for 2 months but now he doesn't want to see me as much!
Q. Me and my bf have been together for 2 months now. For ages he would want to see me all the time, non stop. But now he doesnt, hes fine with not seeing me all the time. I guess the honeymoon phase for him is over? I however still cant get enough of ...
A. 21 March 2008: Your bf obviously likes the thrill of the chase and that is like a lot of men, not all I grant you.
He is still young and so are you so it is a time of experiencing different emotions.
You can't go on like this forever as it just isn't fair ... (read in full...)
How do I go about confronting him with the fact I know about the "other" women?
Q. I have been slepping with a man now for 3 yrs and recently had suspicions confirmed that there are other women in the picture. Now of course these women have told me they were just friends but all along this what he has referred to me as. A friend. ...
A. 21 March 2008: The truth is out and no one can blame you for ending the relationship.
There should be two people in a relationship and he has being getting his cake and eating it, that just isn't fair on you.
Did he ever tell you that he loved you or tha... (read in full...)
He's in debt and him and my mother are blaming me! I'm lost. What can I do?
Q. Hey there... I'll try to keep this organized so it's not so confusing. lol I have a room mate...we used to be together romantically but it just wasn't working so we decided tp try to build up our friendship and leave the romance out of it... ok...
A. 21 March 2008: OK I think I understand more now, however, you are not in the wrong here as you are entitled to assistance with Food and not your ex so why shouldn't you have taken your card with you, he is being extremely selfish in my opinion.
You are also the... (read in full...)
He's in debt and him and my mother are blaming me! I'm lost. What can I do?
Q. Hey there... I'll try to keep this organized so it's not so confusing. lol I have a room mate...we used to be together romantically but it just wasn't working so we decided tp try to build up our friendship and leave the romance out of it... ok...
A. 20 March 2008: Sweetheart you were good enough to lend your room mate money and he always knew you needed it for your trip, if there was a big problem in repaying you why didn't he say so and what I can't understand is why your mother is being drawn into this.
... (read in full...)
How can I stop being jealous over stupid things?
Q. how can i stop being jealous over the dumbest reasons, like when my bf just talks to a girl?...
A. 20 March 2008: Hmmm your question is extremely brief but I will try and answer as best I can.
The main reason for jealousy is your own insecurities or something has given you cause to feel jealous.
Has either of these things been an issue for you?
If you h... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend going off me? He very rarely kisses or hugs me.
Q. My boyfriend very rarely kisses or hugs me. Well I only get them if I go up to him and give him them. We hardly ever have sex when we first met, we used to have a great sex life now we hardly have any sex. It seems to me that he just isn't botherd ...
A. 20 March 2008: Well it seems to me that he is just not noticing you enough and a little jealous or something when you go out as he just doesn't talk to you the next day, very strange a little like he is punishing you for going out. He can't have it both ways.
... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend going off me? He very rarely kisses or hugs me.
Q. My boyfriend very rarely kisses or hugs me. Well I only get them if I go up to him and give him them. We hardly ever have sex when we first met, we used to have a great sex life now we hardly have any sex. It seems to me that he just isn't botherd ...
A. 19 March 2008: Sweetheart if you work for him, how often do you see him is it every day?
Working and living with a partner can really change the way your life is? Believe me I know.
If you are spending your days and nights together when is their time for y... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend going off me? He very rarely kisses or hugs me.
Q. My boyfriend very rarely kisses or hugs me. Well I only get them if I go up to him and give him them. We hardly ever have sex when we first met, we used to have a great sex life now we hardly have any sex. It seems to me that he just isn't botherd ...
A. 19 March 2008: This is a hard one to answer as you haven't said how long you have been together and more importantly if anything else is going on in your lives right now.
Has he had problems in his home life or do you live together?
Has he had any changes ... (read in full...)
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