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female
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*mb0803
writes: I left my son's father almost 8 yrs ago after being together for 8 yrs, yet for 2 yrs we have been hanging out more and even having sexual relations (he cheated on his gf of 2 1/2 yrs for more than half of that time w/ me). But I can't seem to get him to tell me where this is going and I fear that he won't commit b/c his mother isn't too fond of him and he stands to inherit a lot of money among other material things when she passes. Should I just "go w/ the flow" or look elsewhere for company?
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female
reader, ThePixie +, writes (11 July 2006):
 I have to say, it doeas seem to me that obviously you have a connection with the guy after knowing each other for so long and having a child together, but he does appear to want to have it all as they say. Being with someone you have a past with can be easier and less scry than being with someone new, yes it's comforable. But will he ever give you a real full on relationship? Will he be faithful to you? Ask yourself therse questions before carrying on because I'm sure he told the woman he was with for two and a half years he loved her and wouldn't cheat on her.Also ask yourself whiile you are wrapped up with him, how many other relatonship opportunities have you passed up and do you want to waste any more time on him?A bit of distance from him for a little while may make you see him and his actions in a different light.
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (11 July 2006):
 What attracts you to this ex of yours?
Do you see yourself with him say after his mother passes or do you truly feel that once a cheater always a cheater?
Personally I can see him getting his cake and eating it right now. You are close because you have the bond of having a child together and that never alters between a man and woman. You could hate each other but because you have a child together you consider the child always.
I was with my ex for almost 20 years and during that time he always had a roving eye and eventually after our daughter was born he had an affair for almost 2 and a half years and he totally kept it hidden from me as I could not believe he would do that to me.
If he can cheat on his girlfriend what is to say that he is not cheating on you.
Having a good casual sexual relationship is great but you both have a history together, if you just enjoy the sex and are not considering a future with this man then go with the flow.
However, if you want more from him, I don't think that will ever happen. The only true way to see if he cares purely about you and not the sex is to say no to the sex for a while, you can always say that you had an infection or something for a while and see whether the attention is still there.
If you are really looking for a lasting relationship then I think that another man will give this to you but just go slowly and spend some time on you for a change and do things you want to do.
If you do join a dating site or something just be careful as there are unscrupulous people out there. Believe me, I had one guy who tried to get money out of me.
Just tread softly that's all.
Good luck.
BFN
Country Woman
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