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... Send *ountry Woman a private message | | | *ountry Woman's profile:OK, I wanted to just let everyone know that for now I will not be on the site as I have realised that I need to take some time out for both my own sake and also for my family. I will not delete myself from this site as I totally believe in it whole heartedly as the thanks over the years that I have received from people I have tried to advise has been amazing and given me so much in return. This site helped me get through the loss of my dad in 2007 and I think I hid my grief a lot then but now I need to find my place in my life and need to dedicate all my energy on that goal and also supporting my family as well. Don't ever be afraid to talk to the wonderful aunts and uncles on this site and remember that if Andrew had never started this site so many people would have never had the fantastic advice and help that they needed so much. I will return you can bank on it OK.
A bit about me now I think, hi everyone as it suggests I am a Country Loving woman who has grown up in the countryside and feel very at home in lovely wide open spaces and birds singing in the morning. I am 44 years old and I lived in a semi rural area for over 19 years, my relationship with my long term partner of almost 20 years ended in June 2005.
I still consider my ex as my best friend, we have good and bad days like most people but I try to stay as amicable as possible for my daughter's sake and my own, sometimes things have not always been great during our break up but life goes on.
Even though I am not in a relationship right now, hopefully 2010 may be the year that I can start to dip my toe in the water again on the relationship side of things. Just need the body to wow now, that may take a little longer unfortunately!!! lol
I think that at 44 years of age I have lived a bit and had all sorts of things happen to me so I can only say from my own personal point of view and would never qualify myself as anything other than a helper hopefully.
My motivation in life is seeing my daughter smile and laugh and just being a mum makes me get out of bed every day. I listen to my friends and have some of these since primary school. I like to think that I am a good friend and if I can help someone I will.
I think if someone needs professional help then they should try and get it and I will advise that if it appears that way.
I do believe that life is for the living and we only get one chance of actually enjoying it as too much time is spent on the trivial things of life but after my dad got bowel cancer in 2000 your life takes on a totally different perspective. My dad passed away in Feb 2007 and so I have had personal close bereavement not so long ago and even though people tell you to get on with your life, the reality of it all is not always so clear cut. Although I had to take some time out from this site for me to help my mum and sister I am back to talk any time or try and help. It helps me too if I hear that some of my advice has helped someone deal with a difficult time in their lives as well.
I hope that my advice which is from my personal life experiences help some people and I welcome any response from anyone I try to help.
I hope in some small way I can at least help take away some confusion or hurt from those who are suffering with break ups or all sorts of other problems.
I am not a doom and gloom sort of person and most days have a smile on my face, I totally understand about money worries and the seriousness of how far that can go, even the possibility of repossession, so even if your worries are not relationship based just send me a note and I will see if I can help in any way OK.
Take care and bfn.
Country Woman
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He's getting texts at weird times and I think he's lying to me. Am I right?
Q. i really need some unbiased advice. im 29, married (hubby 50). the thing is, hubby does occasions mechanical work on vehicles, purely an occasional sideline., there is a woman, around my age, that became a customer last year, but over the past month ...
A. 23 April 2007: Listen anytime you want to chat we are all here for you and even our own mailboxes if you want to chat to someone in particular.
I can understand how your dad does not want to change his life, I think the older we get the more we come to realise ... (read in full...)
He's getting texts at weird times and I think he's lying to me. Am I right?
Q. i really need some unbiased advice. im 29, married (hubby 50). the thing is, hubby does occasions mechanical work on vehicles, purely an occasional sideline., there is a woman, around my age, that became a customer last year, but over the past month ...
A. 20 April 2007: So the question is now, are you still with him or is he out on his ear?
Seems to me that you have been through the mill with everything else going on around you.
How is your dad btw, has he been given the all clear on the cancer?
I kno... (read in full...)
He's getting texts at weird times and I think he's lying to me. Am I right?
Q. i really need some unbiased advice. im 29, married (hubby 50). the thing is, hubby does occasions mechanical work on vehicles, purely an occasional sideline., there is a woman, around my age, that became a customer last year, but over the past month ...
A. 3 May 2006: I have to be honest here, if there is nothing to hide then why won't he show you the text messages from the male friend (so he says).
This woman is the same age as you and he is obviously flattered by the fact that a younger woman has shown in... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin but want to have sex with my boyfriend, I'm scared of the pain.
Q. Hi I am a 20 year old virgin... I can get almost any guy but the problem is that I'm scared of the pain. My boyfriend and I try having sex a lot but it seems like he's killing me down there and it hurts... Should I take some medicine b4? I need some ...
A. 1 May 2006: I think lubrication could be the answer here as you are tense about the first time and sometimes it becomes dry in the vagina area. To say there is no pain at all would be a lie as it is much better after the first time as I think most women will ... (read in full...)
Everything is fine but for some reason I dont trust him anymore!
Q. hiya.. I've been seeing my boyfirnd a couple of months now..it was going great at first, we enjoyed doing the same things, watching the same films.. I think i am falling in love with him but for some reason i dont trust him anymore!! I dont see the ...
A. 1 May 2006: I have to say that normally when a lack of trust comes into a relationship it is because there is reason of some sort.
What has happened to make you mistrust him?
Do you have any proof that he is not doing what he is saying he is doing?
If ... (read in full...)
I dated him and found out he was a she, we split but now I miss him!
Q. This is an embarrassing problem, so if you have nothing worthwhile to say, buzz off. Nearly two years ago, I met a guy via long-distance, and ended up dating him after two months or so. He was my first boyfriend and I ended up getting VERY attached ...
A. 1 May 2006: OK I can only say what I feel as I have never answered a question like yours before and so will answer you as honestly as I can.
OK this person lied to you and after your initial shock and anger at being lied to you had a sound relation... (read in full...)
I like a girl but shes just got back with her ex!!
Q. There's a girl I really like at work. Problem is she's just got back with her ex. What do I do now. I don't want to move on, especially if she splits with him again. How do I find out if I'm in with a shot?...
A. 30 April 2006: Has this girl ever shown interest in you at all?
The ex was an ex for a reason and it could be just a matter of time before things go pear shaped for them again.
I think patience is the name of the game here.
Be friendly, polite and giv... (read in full...)
Is there any chance we can make good what was wrong??
Q. I'm a 34 year old guy who up until recently and due to a severe lack of confidence, have had no sexual partners. Through internet dating, this recently changed and I met a lovely young woman who I was blissfully happy with but our relationship was ...
A. 30 April 2006: Without trying to be too severe, I think she has already made up her mind about your relationship and the letter finishing has been the worst part of everything for you as it seems an extremely cold way of doing things.
Perhaps though she thou... (read in full...)
One day he talks to me, the next day he ignores me! I have no idea how to handle this...help!
Q. i am in love with a lad called danny but he is really messing me about. one minut he likes me the next he isnt talking to me. we have never gone out but we got close and it scared me so i stopped talking to him for a day or so then he just backed ...
A. 30 April 2006: How much does Danny know about you? Have you ever dropped the hints that you are interested in him?
Seems to me that when you started to get close and you stopped talking to him you gave out all the signals that you were not interested in him so I... (read in full...)
We've both matured and are still good friends. Think we should try dating again?
Q. hi i am 15 and i have split up with my boyfriend of 2 months. we broke up 2 months ago cos we thought we were just too young and didnt want the stress of a relationship. Also we didnt see each other much cos we dont go to the same school and were ...
A. 30 April 2006: Just take things slowly this time, you may feel more grown and by spending time with one another you feel more comfortable around each other then that is great.
Who initiated the dating before? Was it you or him?
Don't rush into anything ri... (read in full...)
I am scared he will ask me out again!!
Q. I need help on something. Theres a lad I like and I know he likes me as well he's always flirting with me also sticking up for me as well I am just scared he will ask me out again cause when a lad asks me out I always say no cause I think the lads...
A. 28 April 2006: Why are you fighting it if you like him and he likes you?
Why always the natural answer is NO, you should believe in yourself a lot more as he would not be attracted to you if you looked awful.
Why do you also naturally assume that the relatio... (read in full...)
He's always stared at other women but now I'm pregnant it's starting to get at me, I need advice!
Q. My husband is obsessed with women. We have a great life together but he can help stopping and looking at other women. And has done since we have met. I find it really hard at the moment be heavily pregnant seeing him watch other women knowing he ...
A. 28 April 2006: Look men always look at other women it's the way of the world. You are feeling hyper sensitive right now and not your normal figure but remember one thing, he married you and loves you and you are pregnant with his baby, what more can be said about ... (read in full...)
Can a guy change his feelings overnight??
Q. I have been seeing this guy for over two years. During our relationship we broke up twice. First time because he wanted his space, second time because he had someone else and now for the third time he says he wants his space and doesn't want the...
A. 28 April 2006: This man is just not worth wasting any more of your life on.
How old are you?
By now you would have thought that he could at least be grown up enough to know what on earth he is doing. This man is 47 not in his 20's.
He has split with you... (read in full...)
My looks scare peple, how do I get people to accept me for who I am?
Q. Dear Friends. I'm keeping this short, so just multiply everything I say by 35 years and you'll understand how I feel about this problem. I have Cerebral Palsy. How this comes out in me is in my face, I look like a reject from one of Freddy...
A. 28 April 2006: Hi Chris
I have to be honest I read your question on Monday and I am so sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you but like the others have said I didn't want to give you meaningless words but it has really bothered me and it has taken me... (read in full...)
How do we resolve our constant arguing?
Q. my boyfriend and i just got over a rough patch of trust being broken. But the problem is that now we tend to argue a lot over little things. We plan to get married, yet we can get over this little stupid fights that sometimes turns into large. For ...
A. 27 April 2006: OK the main question here is do you trust him now?
Broken trust is not something you can mend quickly.
Considering your relationship is still very new, it has undergone a lot of stress and I think like I have said before their is resentment th... (read in full...)
Should I tell my new girl about the one night stand before we got together?
Q. Hi, I am have been seeing a girl I really like for a few months. However I pulled another girl before we started dating. The other girl stayed over once but nothing happened. Should I tell my current girlfriend, as it will probably come out ...
A. 27 April 2006: Truth is always the best option in the long run and now you can go forward with an honest relationship.
The measure of a man is how he handles a situation and I think you did excellent on this one so I wish you both a long and happy relation... (read in full...)
Should I tell my new girl about the one night stand before we got together?
Q. Hi, I am have been seeing a girl I really like for a few months. However I pulled another girl before we started dating. The other girl stayed over once but nothing happened. Should I tell my current girlfriend, as it will probably come out ...
A. 26 April 2006: At the end of the day it did all happen before you got together and so it is really irrelevant as you weren't with your girlfriend at the time and so you weren't cheating on her.
How would your new girlfriend find out about this one night stopover... (read in full...)
We've dated for six months... And broken up nine times!
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend now for 6 months and in that short period of time he has broke up with me 9 times. Everytime he breaks it off and goes away for a couple days he comes back and wants to be back with me. He says that our breakups ...
A. 26 April 2006: 6 months and 9 break ups, someone is getting confused over whether this is really break ups or simple arguments.
I have to be honest though a relationship that is based upon so many arguments in such a short period of time means that there is... (read in full...)
How do we resolve our constant arguing?
Q. my boyfriend and i just got over a rough patch of trust being broken. But the problem is that now we tend to argue a lot over little things. We plan to get married, yet we can get over this little stupid fights that sometimes turns into large. For ...
A. 26 April 2006: Who broke the trust between you both?
Was it him or you?
Seems like the constant arguing is an underlying frustration over the broken trust issue.
You say that you are going to get married but you need to work through this trust issue... (read in full...)
My bf cheated on me, should I stay or leave?
Q. my boyfriend cheated on me one time, but he has a baby by the girl. we've been together for almost 4 years, should i leave him or stay and make it work?...
A. 26 April 2006: I am sorry to say that I must agree with willwombat, my ex cheated on me for over 2 and a half years and even after 10 months of counselling it stays with you.
Once a cheat always a cheat I'm afraid to say. A leopard never changes their spots.
... (read in full...)
My lover wants more from me, but I'm scared to loose my other half, What should I do??
Q. I have been married for a year but been having affair with married man for 4 years, the married man now wants more and I don't no what to do as I have feelings for him and don't feel I can live without him, but I love my husband and have so much to ...
A. 26 April 2006: I'm sorry to say but why on earth did you get married if you weren't going to enter into the marriage and be fully committed?
A marriage is supposed to be based on trust isn't it. A year in and you are still continuing an affair that was started ... (read in full...)
Abortion advice needed!
Q. Hey people, first post on here. I'm 17, going to university in september to study veterinary medicine. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 8 months and having sex for bout 6 months... few weeks ago we had sex in the middle of my cycle, ...
A. 25 April 2006: Hi again
Well I thought I would ask all the questions in my last message to you to see how much you have basically mulled over already.
I wanted to ask about adoption but I am just like you, I could not give up a child after carrying it for ... (read in full...)
Should I dump my boyfriend before or after this holiday?
Q. my bf treats me like a slave, it used to be good but hes showing his true colours he is a sponger and has no respect for me. but i was out last week and a guy was flirting rith me and i spoke to him and he treated me like a human being, he is a ...
A. 23 April 2006: I think the real question here is whether you think the holiday is really worth going on with someone you don't want to be with.
I think it also depends on if you need the break and if the holiday is just for a week or longer.
At the end of... (read in full...)
Abortion advice needed!
Q. Hey people, first post on here. I'm 17, going to university in september to study veterinary medicine. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 8 months and having sex for bout 6 months... few weeks ago we had sex in the middle of my cycle, ...
A. 22 April 2006: Well at least you know the truth now so no more if's or buts. Have you confirmed it with your GP or clinic yet?
Is the abortion your gut instinct or the father to be? So your young and ready to go to University which is a massive step too.
... (read in full...)
I think I want him now, but what about him?
Q. I'm not sure what to think about my guy friend. We've known each other for years and he used to fancy me for ages but i never felt the same way. We go to different colleges now but we still keep in touch and i see him when I'm out clubbing. Lately ...
A. 22 April 2006: Listen if you are attracted to this guy who is also a good friend then you need to get in touch and say hi, how you doing.
If it has always been a flirty relationship then I can't see the problem, if neither one of you is seeing anyone then you... (read in full...)
Married for 16 years and he wants sex 24/7...
Q. my husband and i have married for 16 yrs. we are still in love. and he still gives me the tingle sometime were in a room of people and he looks and me and winks. i love him very much. BUT he wants sex 24-7. he still turns me on but i don,t want it ...
A. 21 April 2006: I think it is time you sat down with your husband and told him how you feel.
Different people are sometimes more sexually motivated than others and I know that my now ex wanted sex a lot more than me and the soreness affected me a lot too. He ... (read in full...)
He's allergic to rings so what can I give him when I propose?
Q. Dear Cupid and Readers. I'm in need of some Ideas and thoughts. I'm in a long distance gay relationship and We love eachother so much and we have the most amazing honest loving healthy relationship. I'll be joining him overseas so we can start...
A. 21 April 2006: OK the reason I know about purchasing a star was the fact that my sister recently did this for a close friend.
Apparently the International listings mean that you end up naming the same stars over and over again so it is best to avoid those.
... (read in full...)
He's allergic to rings so what can I give him when I propose?
Q. Dear Cupid and Readers. I'm in need of some Ideas and thoughts. I'm in a long distance gay relationship and We love eachother so much and we have the most amazing honest loving healthy relationship. I'll be joining him overseas so we can start...
A. 19 April 2006: Hi I think it is fantastic that you are both making a committment to one another and so a huge congratulations to you both.
I also have what is known as metal eczema and I even have to warn doctors in operations but no problems so far thank go... (read in full...)
She has to pee a lot... Is my girlfriend pregnant?
Q. I was out with my girlfriend for 6 hours today.. within those 6 hours she had to go to the bathroom 4 times. and they seemed to be really close together. I know one of the signs of pregnancy is having to pee a lot more frequently.. could this be a ...
A. 18 April 2006: I bet you are now sighing with relief eh!
Just to say that we are all hear to listen and hopefully help so no worries eh.
BFN... (read in full...)
My fiancee is getting on my back about my child from a previous relationship!
Q. my fiancee is upset and getting on me all the time about my child from aprevious relationship, we both agreed to go throughthe courts for access to my child but she just hates the idea of some one else mothering my child, and its all my fault why ...
A. 16 April 2006: I am not sure if it is your current g/f who is upset that your ex is mothering your child or the other way round from what one of the other agony aunts has said.
The way I read your question though is that your g/f or fiancee has a problem ... (read in full...)
Abortion advice needed!
Q. Hey people, first post on here. I'm 17, going to university in september to study veterinary medicine. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 8 months and having sex for bout 6 months... few weeks ago we had sex in the middle of my cycle, ...
A. 16 April 2006: I think OK so you feel pregnant but until your test has been done nothing is certain. If you do one then get yourself to your doctor or local clinic and have it confirmed by them as well as that is the only true test as well.
If it is positive... (read in full...)
I am in love with and doing oral stuff with my sisters bf!!!
Q. I'm really worried. My 18 year old sister has a 17 year old boyfriend who i really love. I'm more compatable with him than she is and lately we seemed to be getting on really well (i'm 14) and we're great friends. The thing is a while ago when he ...
A. 16 April 2006: I have read everything you have said and also all the comments of the other agony aunts/uncles and I do feel for you.
You are 14, the same age as one of my nieces, old aren't I. 40 honest!! Anyway, everything seems huge to you right now and if m... (read in full...)
Bad experiences with my ex are affecting my good relationship now!
Q. I am feeling kind of reluctant to talk with my boyfriend lately because I have been stressed out about my ex. He was emotionally abusive and rushed and pushed me to get engaged because he wanted to marry me for his green card. I eventually came to ...
A. 16 April 2006: It must be so hard for your current boyfriend to keep on getting the affects of your moods without truly knowing why, it must be like only knowing half of you and that is not easy for anyone.
You say that it has nothing to do with your current ... (read in full...)
Not seen my boyfriend for 7 months, now he returns all I get is "take care" - is he telling me something?
Q. Dear Cupid, What happens when in a loving relationship the one partner shows more affection than the other, especially when the other partner used to express their feeling so much? I've found myself in a situation where I feel as though I'm lovin...
A. 15 April 2006: Yes I think the message 'Take Care' is more like you would say to a friend. If you have had very little contact in the 7 months when he was away as well I would say that he feels like he is no longer in a relationship with you.
The guy is weak and... (read in full...)
I've known her a week.. is it going too fast?
Q. Hi, maybe I just want some reassurance but do you people think that this could work? I met a girl 26, I am 32 a couple of weeks ago when I was out for a night on the town. I won't lie, we were very attracted to each other and by the end of the n...
A. 15 April 2006: Listen it may only be a short time that you have known one another, if you are talking a lot then think about the protection side of things with sex but you are both adults so that is up to the two of you.
You have one life and you are too long... (read in full...)
She has to pee a lot... Is my girlfriend pregnant?
Q. I was out with my girlfriend for 6 hours today.. within those 6 hours she had to go to the bathroom 4 times. and they seemed to be really close together. I know one of the signs of pregnancy is having to pee a lot more frequently.. could this be a ...
A. 15 April 2006: I agree with Smeedle, if you have had unprotected sex within the last couple of months then the possibility is there. If she has systitis which is a urinary infection then that is another possibility but she would be in a lot of discomfort with that ... (read in full...)
She absolutely refuses to use contreception and won't let me wear a condom!
Q. My Girlfriend refuses to take the any form of contraception OR let me use a condom. It takes much of the pleasure out of sex for me as I am constantly thinking about preventing orgasm inside her. She has let me use a condom on a few occasions ...
A. 13 April 2006: I have to agree with sexybum's comments, I think your girlfriend who I also thought was a lot younger has lost something in her life, possibly a baby or love from someone. Has she lost a parent or sibling and she is looking for love from someone ... (read in full...)
She absolutely refuses to use contreception and won't let me wear a condom!
Q. My Girlfriend refuses to take the any form of contraception OR let me use a condom. It takes much of the pleasure out of sex for me as I am constantly thinking about preventing orgasm inside her. She has let me use a condom on a few occasions ...
A. 13 April 2006: After reading your question and everyone's replies, I must congratulate you on actually coming onto this site and asking for advice.
You sound level headed and mature in mind.
Your girlfriend sounds extremely insecure and immature. From w... (read in full...)
My brother is slowly killing himself and I don't know if I should try and help!
Q. My brother has been an unstable diabetic since he was 8. Ten years later and things are just getting worse. The chances are he's not going to live to see his 30's, because his organs won't be able to cope and will just stop working. I know he can ...
A. 13 April 2006: You love your brother and the fact that he is still so young seems to be a complete waste of a young life.
Seeing and understanding the pain you are going through would be a way that you may get through to your brother. I think if you could ge... (read in full...)
My daughter's gotten married, and I feel less important in her life...
Q. My daughter just got married. How do I deal with the fact that I’m not the most important man in her life?...
A. 13 April 2006: Are you very close to your daughter? Is she your only child?
I think that father and daughter relationships can be extremely close and I know that my father is very important to me. He hated the fact that I moved out just after I turned 21 and d... (read in full...)
25, never had a relationship with a girl... Is it because I'm not dark haired?
Q. Hi dont really know where to start bit just some advice on coping with being single im 25 years old and so far never had a girlfriend or been in any kind of relationship with a women. it affects me as i really do want to be with someone but so f...
A. 9 April 2006: I don't think it's your hair colour, you could just be putting out the wrong signals as you are constantly self conscious by the sounds of things.
Like you say you feel embarrassed seeing couples holding hands and kissing etc.
Why not start... (read in full...)
Text my ex?
Q. I was with my boyfriend for seven years and we broke up several months ago. He moved back to his hometown and met someone almost immediately and though he vowed that we would be friends for life, it has not turned out that way and usually does not I ...
A. 9 April 2006: Maybe a text from an ex could cause problems for him if the girlfriend finds out about it, depends on if he tells her or not.
Do you have his email addy? If you do why not send him a freebie e-card or something as you can put it as a jokey on... (read in full...)
How can I learn to trust again after being abused??
Q. How do you learn to trust a new boyfriend after being in an emotionally abusive relationship?...
A. 8 April 2006: Ooh this one is never easy. It is hard to comment completely considering I don't know the full extent of the abuse and for how long.
I was in a long term relationship for almost 20 years up until last June and I still work with my ex every da... (read in full...)
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