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... Send *ountry Woman a private message | | | *ountry Woman's profile:OK, I wanted to just let everyone know that for now I will not be on the site as I have realised that I need to take some time out for both my own sake and also for my family. I will not delete myself from this site as I totally believe in it whole heartedly as the thanks over the years that I have received from people I have tried to advise has been amazing and given me so much in return. This site helped me get through the loss of my dad in 2007 and I think I hid my grief a lot then but now I need to find my place in my life and need to dedicate all my energy on that goal and also supporting my family as well. Don't ever be afraid to talk to the wonderful aunts and uncles on this site and remember that if Andrew had never started this site so many people would have never had the fantastic advice and help that they needed so much. I will return you can bank on it OK.
A bit about me now I think, hi everyone as it suggests I am a Country Loving woman who has grown up in the countryside and feel very at home in lovely wide open spaces and birds singing in the morning. I am 44 years old and I lived in a semi rural area for over 19 years, my relationship with my long term partner of almost 20 years ended in June 2005.
I still consider my ex as my best friend, we have good and bad days like most people but I try to stay as amicable as possible for my daughter's sake and my own, sometimes things have not always been great during our break up but life goes on.
Even though I am not in a relationship right now, hopefully 2010 may be the year that I can start to dip my toe in the water again on the relationship side of things. Just need the body to wow now, that may take a little longer unfortunately!!! lol
I think that at 44 years of age I have lived a bit and had all sorts of things happen to me so I can only say from my own personal point of view and would never qualify myself as anything other than a helper hopefully.
My motivation in life is seeing my daughter smile and laugh and just being a mum makes me get out of bed every day. I listen to my friends and have some of these since primary school. I like to think that I am a good friend and if I can help someone I will.
I think if someone needs professional help then they should try and get it and I will advise that if it appears that way.
I do believe that life is for the living and we only get one chance of actually enjoying it as too much time is spent on the trivial things of life but after my dad got bowel cancer in 2000 your life takes on a totally different perspective. My dad passed away in Feb 2007 and so I have had personal close bereavement not so long ago and even though people tell you to get on with your life, the reality of it all is not always so clear cut. Although I had to take some time out from this site for me to help my mum and sister I am back to talk any time or try and help. It helps me too if I hear that some of my advice has helped someone deal with a difficult time in their lives as well.
I hope that my advice which is from my personal life experiences help some people and I welcome any response from anyone I try to help.
I hope in some small way I can at least help take away some confusion or hurt from those who are suffering with break ups or all sorts of other problems.
I am not a doom and gloom sort of person and most days have a smile on my face, I totally understand about money worries and the seriousness of how far that can go, even the possibility of repossession, so even if your worries are not relationship based just send me a note and I will see if I can help in any way OK.
Take care and bfn.
Country Woman
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My mum is so overprotective of me because of all these feelings I'm having...
Q. I am 14 years old, and am really protected by my parents. As I am 14 I feel as I am growing up as a person and feel that I could handle teenage stuff like getting a boyfriend. I currently have got feelings for this boy but as hard as I try to ignore ...
A. 30 January 2009: Unfortunately you are in a very difficult position right now and with both of your parents slightly dependent on your due to their disabilities it really isn't an easy time for you. You are having a heck of a lot of responsibility being put on your ... (read in full...)
I have found out that my wife of 6 months kissed another man when on a night out with friends.
Q. Hi there, I have found out that my wife of 6 months kissed another man when on a night out with friends. I only found out as my 18 month old son was playing with her phone. I took the phone off him as I didn't want him to break it and found tha...
A. 30 January 2009: I think you have had some fantastic advice from the other aunts but I am still trying to get my head round the fact that this kiss that happened on a night out with the girls has lead to her giving our her mobile number.
Was this kiss with som... (read in full...)
Would I be wrong for not telliing on her???
Q. My niece is 14 and says she is pregnant. What should I do? I really don't want to tell on her but I just want to make sure she gets help what should I do???Would I be wrong for not telliing on her???...
A. 30 January 2009: Personally the other two aunts have said what you should do and it is excellent advice in my opinion, but just remember that if she did not trust you in the first place she would NEVER have come to you.
You are obviously close and she looks up... (read in full...)
Emotional abuser? Or messed up mind?
Q. Okay, So I've known this guy for about a year now, when we first met, we liked each other, but never did anything about it. About 3 months ago, after being friends for ages, we decided that we wanted to be together, the thing is, we're both stubborn ...
A. 30 January 2009: Personally I think that the advice that girly69 has just given you really does hit the nail on the head, yes you love him and you want it to work out. However, if after you have spoken to him and told him how his abuse upsets you and he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Emotional abuser? Or messed up mind?
Q. Okay, So I've known this guy for about a year now, when we first met, we liked each other, but never did anything about it. About 3 months ago, after being friends for ages, we decided that we wanted to be together, the thing is, we're both stubborn ...
A. 30 January 2009: Personally sweetheart I think what Ginalolabridga has advised is sound advice.
This guy is fickle and unsure of himself but you DON'T go around and slag someone off if you are trying to show them that you love them. It sounds to me like he could... (read in full...)
Distressed lover
Q. I have been seeing this guy for about 3 yrs. When we talk about marriage he tells me that its him not me, and it's not the time. I love him, and I know he loves me. He is always honest with me all the time, and I'm not just saying that because I ...
A. 30 January 2009: Hi have you actually told him how you feel about being committed to one another and for you marriage signifies that secure feeling in your life.
It is understandable that the whole marriage thing has put him off trying again as the first time end... (read in full...)
My mum is so overprotective of me because of all these feelings I'm having...
Q. I am 14 years old, and am really protected by my parents. As I am 14 I feel as I am growing up as a person and feel that I could handle teenage stuff like getting a boyfriend. I currently have got feelings for this boy but as hard as I try to ignore ...
A. 29 January 2009: Unfortunately sweetheart you cannot just make these feelings go away it is part of growing up.
Your mum is possibly very frightened for you with so much awful things you hear on the news and I think parents have become so much more protecti... (read in full...)
Questions about wedding etiquette...?
Q. Hello fellow agony aunts and uncles. I was wondering if you guys could answer me a small question? At a wedding, can it still be completely tradition and etiquette as if its a traditional church wedding - for example, is the bride still give...
A. 29 January 2009: Sweetheart at the end of the day rcn is very true. Your wedding day can be about what you want and if you want your father to walk you into a registry office I am almost certain that can happen.
You can also have civil services these days and... (read in full...)
My husband and my friend... an item?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 11 year and were together for 14 years. Then about two and a half years ago I injured my back at work. It has been rough on our relationship that is for sure. We were making it though we supported each other ...
A. 29 January 2009: Personally sweetheart I wouldn't do anything he is obviously interested in what she is giving him which is the sex and if that has been something that was missing from your relationship he is getting it on a plate from her. Sorry to be blunt but ... (read in full...)
How can I lift his spirits? Is time the only healer?
Q. I have just broken up with my boyfriend of 4 years. This is the second time it has happened (the first time, we had one year apart before giving it another go), however this time we are living together. I feel so terrible, as there is nothing ...
A. 29 January 2009: Personally I don't think there is anything you can do that will magically lift his spirits, he obviously felt more for you than you did for him.
At the end of the day you have been honest with him and even after giving it another go things d... (read in full...)
I'm confused and broken - new man on the scene but am I ready?
Q. I had my heart broken by my long term boyfriend a year ago and have dated since but haven't had a relationship or slept with anyone. I don't want him back and haven't seen him since we broke up. There is a man I like who likes me. I've know hi...
A. 29 January 2009: Listen at the end of the day honesty is the best policy, how long are you going backpacking for?
If you like someone a lot then you need to let them know as life is far too short. Perhaps you could say how you really like him and you fear tha... (read in full...)
I can't help thinking I'm fat and nothing I do makes me thinner!
Q. im 15 and i suppose ive become pretty obsessed with my weight n how i look. im small for my age..about 5 foot. I really wanna lose some weight to make myself feel better cuz i always wear jackets out and hate takin them off. Ive started drinkin ...
A. 29 January 2009: You have the answers already so it is just the case of working on them, 7 stone 4 doesn't sound heavy to me and sometimes having a bit of a belly is just a case of toning the stomach muscles.
Sit ups with a frame may be useful to.
I have ... (read in full...)
Girls in school give me too much attention, I can't concentrate!
Q. Hi guyz! First of all im an asian guy currently living here in ireland.. Lives in Japan before.. My moms a half japanese nd half korean and my dads half filipino and half spanish thats why i em blessed with these gorgeous cute face and body..as...
A. 29 January 2009: Right well now the ball is in your court and it really is up to you whether you ask her out of not. Don't sit on the fence waiting for things to happen, be proactive and you will be surprised about the outcome sometimes.
Keep us posted OK.
B... (read in full...)
I want her back, I know she still loves me! What do I do?
Q. I am 44 and met this lady who is 28 at my sons baseball league. first time we both seen each other from first day we fell for one another.. she was in an unhappy marriage. she fell in love with me and thru our relationship she had gotten divorced.We ...
A. 29 January 2009: I have to say that the comments you have had from bitterblue are very good.
You go into far too much detail and unfortunately give us more of a life story than the actual facts. It is right you do need to organise your thoughts and feelings... (read in full...)
Girls in school give me too much attention, I can't concentrate!
Q. Hi guyz! First of all im an asian guy currently living here in ireland.. Lives in Japan before.. My moms a half japanese nd half korean and my dads half filipino and half spanish thats why i em blessed with these gorgeous cute face and body..as...
A. 28 January 2009: I think you need to put your friend in the picture about how much you like this girl as you don't want to step on toes and lose a good friend but just be honest with him.
He may really value you as a friend and so texting and calling each day... (read in full...)
I can't help thinking I'm fat and nothing I do makes me thinner!
Q. im 15 and i suppose ive become pretty obsessed with my weight n how i look. im small for my age..about 5 foot. I really wanna lose some weight to make myself feel better cuz i always wear jackets out and hate takin them off. Ive started drinkin ...
A. 28 January 2009: I am not surprised you are feeling low, you are still growing and at your age you are discovering your body right now.
So you are 5 foot, my 19 year old twin nieces are about 5 ft and 5 ft 1 inch. You may stop at that or you may continue to grow ... (read in full...)
Girls in school give me too much attention, I can't concentrate!
Q. Hi guyz! First of all im an asian guy currently living here in ireland.. Lives in Japan before.. My moms a half japanese nd half korean and my dads half filipino and half spanish thats why i em blessed with these gorgeous cute face and body..as...
A. 28 January 2009: I have to say that I totally agree with Irish49 on this one, you can't turn off your magnetism over night.
You need to make your tutors aware of what is going on or perhaps go and talk to the principal/head teacher so that he/she can convey t... (read in full...)
I want her back, I know she still loves me! What do I do?
Q. I am 44 and met this lady who is 28 at my sons baseball league. first time we both seen each other from first day we fell for one another.. she was in an unhappy marriage. she fell in love with me and thru our relationship she had gotten divorced.We ...
A. 28 January 2009: I can honestly I say I started to read your question but I personally think the person who accepted your question was very wrong as it is far too lengthy and it is so hard to read as there are no breaks between the paragraphs, I got a really bad ... (read in full...)
She walks all over me because she knows she can
Q. ok,i have answered a few questions recently on this to give people advice but now its my turn to ask anyone reading this for advice. the answer to my problem might seem obvious but please try and think of my situation before answering. thank you. ...
A. 28 January 2009: Well sweetheart I think you have gone into this relationship with all your body and soul and yes by the fact that you are loving and caring and wearing your heart on your sleeve she knows she has someone who is like a puppy around her, willing to do ... (read in full...)
I want out, but I fear it will hurt my daughter.
Q. I live with my fiance of 2 years (we been together for 6) and our 4 year old daughter. We own a house, live a quite life. I have recently realized I am not happy! My entire family lives 14 hours by car away. He is an only child with only his father ...
A. 27 January 2009: I think the anonymous female who replied to your question has summed it up quite well really.
I think compromise is essential in any relationship, without it there is always tension and arguments as you will NEVER agree about everything. That is ... (read in full...)
Is there hope for us? He wants to have more children and get remarried....
Q. My husband and I have been married for 6 years. We have 1 son. I found out on his phone he had been cheating while working out of town. I divorced him but, we never legally separated. He's here. I am trying to deal with the pain. It's been ...
A. 27 January 2009: Well once the trust has been broken it is terribly hard to repair it and that just does not happen overnight.
How old is your son btw?
Had there been any problems in your marriage prior to him going out of town and cheating on you, how did ... (read in full...)
Why do I get a bad feeling about this guy? What are the signs?
Q. I need some advice, Big Time! I just got into a relationship a few days ago. I met this guy thru an online dating site. He told me time and time again, I forget sometimes that I have that profile until I get mail from them. I thought 'Yeah ri...
A. 27 January 2009: Well personally from what you have now said I think this guy is definitely not someone who is trying to hide anything from you, he has shown you where he lives, you have seen his phone, OK so he logs on when he is not with you, some could see that ... (read in full...)
Why do I get a bad feeling about this guy? What are the signs?
Q. I need some advice, Big Time! I just got into a relationship a few days ago. I met this guy thru an online dating site. He told me time and time again, I forget sometimes that I have that profile until I get mail from them. I thought 'Yeah ri...
A. 27 January 2009: There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to online dating, it can sometimes work out for people and other times you get to meet great friend's and they remain just that.
I think if you have already met up then that is great, initiall... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is making me sad/depressed
Q. Dear Cupid, I am going through a really hard time in my life right now with a guy. I have been with this guy for about 3 years now and all of which has basically been off and on. We fight all the time now and break up almost every couple of ...
A. 27 January 2009: Like I said before I think you need to make a plan for a way out of this relationship. Arguing at work is NEVER a good thing and if he has called the police out to deal with things because things have got out of hand then they will have that on ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is making me sad/depressed
Q. Dear Cupid, I am going through a really hard time in my life right now with a guy. I have been with this guy for about 3 years now and all of which has basically been off and on. We fight all the time now and break up almost every couple of ...
A. 27 January 2009: Hi
Well at the end of the day you feel completely trapped in this relationship as it also has monetary repercussions and the fact that he is your boss at work only means he knows he can control you and that is never good in a relation... (read in full...)
I need some (non-abusive) abortion advice, please.
Q. I guess i am remaining anon because i am ashamed... Im 16 soon 17 in my first year of college studing for my A levels live a life with good people in it such as my friends and a very lovely boyfriend. Ive been with my boyfriend for a few months now...
A. 23 January 2009: Sweetheart I have to say that unfortunately no matter what you do by saying about your dilemma you have had such contradicting advice on here.
The anonymous writer who didn't even have the courage to say who they were has a lot of opinions... (read in full...)
I need some (non-abusive) abortion advice, please.
Q. I guess i am remaining anon because i am ashamed... Im 16 soon 17 in my first year of college studing for my A levels live a life with good people in it such as my friends and a very lovely boyfriend. Ive been with my boyfriend for a few months now...
A. 22 January 2009: Personally I think that both Didda123 and Honeypie have said what I would have said and that is to go and get some counselling before you make any FINAL decision.
All of us have our own opinions on what is right and wrong in life but at the end ... (read in full...)
I'm 16, he's in his 40's what to do if he asks me out?
Q. Hi, I have a bit of a problem that I am VERY confused about. There's this guy at my gym, he's (I guess) in his late 30s or early 40s. Anyway I like him, a lot, and he seems to like me as well, but I am 16. He doesn't know that. (Most people seem to ...
A. 21 January 2009: I personally think that if you start off with a lie it just spirals out of control. Be honest from the start and if he is still interested then he is into younger girls.
However, don't be surprised if he does decide it is not best to pursue t... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong? Why am I never the one chosen?
Q. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Most of the time I have a crush on somebody, I do some things with them, but I don't want to ask them out too soon as I don't know them that well. For example, last night, I was dancing with a nice young lady, we ...
A. 20 January 2009: Well I am still a little vague about the details of what she said but at least you have your answer now.
Don't sit and mope though as there are still plenty of other girls who would probably welcome the chance to date you so lick your wounds a... (read in full...)
Have I wasted my love on her?????
Q. I've known a beautiful, sexy woman for fourteen years, about seven years ago, we became a long distance couple. I invested in her store in the midwest, subsidised her income to the tune of $800/mo this past year and a few in between. She has always ...
A. 20 January 2009: I have to say that I totally agree with the anonymous male who originally responded to your question.
Someone who invests in her store to the tune of $800 dollars a month and never seeing anything in return is extremely generous. She proposed... (read in full...)
I am not getting the consistency or solidarity that healthy relatinoships NEED to survive.
Q. I'm not sure what to do or think. My boyfriend of almost a year is coming out of a state of depression and he is unemployed and keeps getting rejected despite his high qualifications (3 law degrees and 3 languages) because of the crisis. He has ...
A. 20 January 2009: Your bf needs help and it cannot continue on this constant emotional rollercoaster.
Has he suffered with depression before all of this with no job etc?
He could have clinical depression and that is a condition that needs to be treated. He n... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong? Why am I never the one chosen?
Q. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Most of the time I have a crush on somebody, I do some things with them, but I don't want to ask them out too soon as I don't know them that well. For example, last night, I was dancing with a nice young lady, we ...
A. 19 January 2009: OK apologies to you for assuming it was sounding like an ultimatum, it was the way in which it came across that's all. It is hard to interject feelings into the written word some times like an email or text as you can't always interpret emotion.
... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong? Why am I never the one chosen?
Q. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Most of the time I have a crush on somebody, I do some things with them, but I don't want to ask them out too soon as I don't know them that well. For example, last night, I was dancing with a nice young lady, we ...
A. 19 January 2009: OK you don't to be played like a porn in this game but at the same time you don't want to appear uninterested.
I agree that she does need to make a decision as right now she is giving off very mixed signals and he has already warned you off so t... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong? Why am I never the one chosen?
Q. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Most of the time I have a crush on somebody, I do some things with them, but I don't want to ask them out too soon as I don't know them that well. For example, last night, I was dancing with a nice young lady, we ...
A. 18 January 2009: OK don't pressurise her too much about the choosing game OK.
Tell her you really really like her and that you want to be with her as her bf.
If you say him or me, then you are being a little too dominant, tell her that you didn't know how ... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong? Why am I never the one chosen?
Q. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Most of the time I have a crush on somebody, I do some things with them, but I don't want to ask them out too soon as I don't know them that well. For example, last night, I was dancing with a nice young lady, we ...
A. 18 January 2009: Did you actually hear it from her though that she is now going out with this guy or not?
It could be that he thinks they are going out or he is just trying to get you to back off.
What I would do is try to talk to this girl on your own and tel... (read in full...)
Cheating fool!
Q. I did something terrible, now it is hurting my feelings. I took my hubby to the airport as he was going back to work. On my way home I pretended to be some other girl and texted him, to my surprise in that short time he promised to come visit and ...
A. 18 January 2009: I honestly have to agree with pastfirst on this one, you need to tell him what you did and how he completely failed this small test you set him.
Your antennas are going ten to the dozen right now and living on a time bomb of a cheating husband ... (read in full...)
Why does my mum keep hitting me?
Q. I love my mum, but she has been really stressed at work and my dad has been ill. She has started hitting me almost every night really hard. I'm covered in bruises and don't know what to do. She never hits my twin brother or my sister and I don't ...
A. 18 January 2009: Sweetheart something needs to be said as you are not a human punch bag.
OK so your mum is stressed but she cannot continue to take out her frustration on you, that just isn't right at all.
Teachers at your school will start to wonder about you... (read in full...)
I feel that the feeling of being forced to have a son will never let him love me the way I want him to love me.
Q. My boyfriend and have been together for 3 years now. The 1st month we were together of course we were so happy so happy that we got pregnant really quickly we met in December by January I was pregnant. He was happy at 1st was willing to tell ...
A. 16 January 2009: I think at the end of the day you didn't force your bf to stay with you HE made that choice not you. OK from a loyal standing he decided to give your relationship a chance and also stay for his child.
Let's be fair here, he helped you make you... (read in full...)
I don't want to throw away 20 months of my life, but should I let him go?
Q. My boyfriend and I had a long discussion the other day. He said he felt empty with life and that he hates his life at the moment. He says he doesnt like living a black and white life and doesnt feel like he has control over his life. He then look ...
A. 14 January 2009: OK let's look at this situation properly.
Your bf has told you he no longer feels there is a spark in the relationship so he is now going through the motions as such. That is NEVER good as one person is happy and the other is not.
By keep... (read in full...)
Is my wife lazy?
Q. Hi, I have met my wife in 2003 and we got engaged in 2005 and married in 2008. When we first met she had a very bad temper and she was verbally abusive, but she would cry and apologise soon after we argue. I tried all my best to help her and thi...
A. 14 January 2009: Personally I think she is taking you for granted. OK not all women are full of the joys of spring about doing housework just because they are a woman but at the end of the day you are both trying to do your best and yes studying can be tiring but ... (read in full...)
He hasn't called in 2 weeks
Q. We’ve been together for 3 months.. after 2 months he changed and started been all weird and not calling me much.. he use to call me every day..last time I saw him he got really angry and accused me of cheating on him... saying I am not giving him ...
A. 12 January 2009: Sweetheart he has transferred guilt on to you and that just isn't fair.
I suspect he is the guilty party here and possibly he has been talking to someone else or even seeing someone else. Why go through the whole argument thing and then reassure... (read in full...)
Baby & Marriage..not sure if I can handle it all
Q. alright, so. i know i posted a question before about the baby daddy and my boyfriend issues, but incase you didnt read that one here is my position: i had a boyfriend (cris) -- not real name i got pregnant (now 7 months) when my bf found ou...
A. 12 January 2009: Well at least legally you have a choice but personally I think that given your hormones are all over the place, you need to give yourself time and have your baby first, it is up to you whose surname you put on the birth certificate.
In the UK i... (read in full...)
Baby & Marriage..not sure if I can handle it all
Q. alright, so. i know i posted a question before about the baby daddy and my boyfriend issues, but incase you didnt read that one here is my position: i had a boyfriend (cris) -- not real name i got pregnant (now 7 months) when my bf found ou...
A. 11 January 2009: Hi thanks for coming back to us on the whole situation right now, you didn't mention how old Donny or Cris are right now and OK rhythmandblues2 does have some very valid points that I hadn't raised at all.
I am not up on the age of consent ... (read in full...)
Baby & Marriage..not sure if I can handle it all
Q. alright, so. i know i posted a question before about the baby daddy and my boyfriend issues, but incase you didnt read that one here is my position: i had a boyfriend (cris) -- not real name i got pregnant (now 7 months) when my bf found ou...
A. 10 January 2009: Personally sweetheart I think you need to explain that all of your hormones are raging right now and you need time to get your head round everything.
Your biggest concern right now is the baby growing instead your womb and I think if you explain ... (read in full...)
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