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... Send *ountry Woman a private message | | | *ountry Woman's profile:OK, I wanted to just let everyone know that for now I will not be on the site as I have realised that I need to take some time out for both my own sake and also for my family. I will not delete myself from this site as I totally believe in it whole heartedly as the thanks over the years that I have received from people I have tried to advise has been amazing and given me so much in return. This site helped me get through the loss of my dad in 2007 and I think I hid my grief a lot then but now I need to find my place in my life and need to dedicate all my energy on that goal and also supporting my family as well. Don't ever be afraid to talk to the wonderful aunts and uncles on this site and remember that if Andrew had never started this site so many people would have never had the fantastic advice and help that they needed so much. I will return you can bank on it OK.
A bit about me now I think, hi everyone as it suggests I am a Country Loving woman who has grown up in the countryside and feel very at home in lovely wide open spaces and birds singing in the morning. I am 44 years old and I lived in a semi rural area for over 19 years, my relationship with my long term partner of almost 20 years ended in June 2005.
I still consider my ex as my best friend, we have good and bad days like most people but I try to stay as amicable as possible for my daughter's sake and my own, sometimes things have not always been great during our break up but life goes on.
Even though I am not in a relationship right now, hopefully 2010 may be the year that I can start to dip my toe in the water again on the relationship side of things. Just need the body to wow now, that may take a little longer unfortunately!!! lol
I think that at 44 years of age I have lived a bit and had all sorts of things happen to me so I can only say from my own personal point of view and would never qualify myself as anything other than a helper hopefully.
My motivation in life is seeing my daughter smile and laugh and just being a mum makes me get out of bed every day. I listen to my friends and have some of these since primary school. I like to think that I am a good friend and if I can help someone I will.
I think if someone needs professional help then they should try and get it and I will advise that if it appears that way.
I do believe that life is for the living and we only get one chance of actually enjoying it as too much time is spent on the trivial things of life but after my dad got bowel cancer in 2000 your life takes on a totally different perspective. My dad passed away in Feb 2007 and so I have had personal close bereavement not so long ago and even though people tell you to get on with your life, the reality of it all is not always so clear cut. Although I had to take some time out from this site for me to help my mum and sister I am back to talk any time or try and help. It helps me too if I hear that some of my advice has helped someone deal with a difficult time in their lives as well.
I hope that my advice which is from my personal life experiences help some people and I welcome any response from anyone I try to help.
I hope in some small way I can at least help take away some confusion or hurt from those who are suffering with break ups or all sorts of other problems.
I am not a doom and gloom sort of person and most days have a smile on my face, I totally understand about money worries and the seriousness of how far that can go, even the possibility of repossession, so even if your worries are not relationship based just send me a note and I will see if I can help in any way OK.
Take care and bfn.
Country Woman
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He's getting texts at weird times and I think he's lying to me. Am I right?
Q. i really need some unbiased advice. im 29, married (hubby 50). the thing is, hubby does occasions mechanical work on vehicles, purely an occasional sideline., there is a woman, around my age, that became a customer last year, but over the past month ...
A. 23 April 2007: Listen anytime you want to chat we are all here for you and even our own mailboxes if you want to chat to someone in particular.
I can understand how your dad does not want to change his life, I think the older we get the more we come to realise ... (read in full...)
He's getting texts at weird times and I think he's lying to me. Am I right?
Q. i really need some unbiased advice. im 29, married (hubby 50). the thing is, hubby does occasions mechanical work on vehicles, purely an occasional sideline., there is a woman, around my age, that became a customer last year, but over the past month ...
A. 20 April 2007: So the question is now, are you still with him or is he out on his ear?
Seems to me that you have been through the mill with everything else going on around you.
How is your dad btw, has he been given the all clear on the cancer?
I kno... (read in full...)
How do I stay friends with my ex
Q. I dated a girl for just over 2 months and it was the best relationship ever. Not only were we a good couple, but we were the best of friends too. At the beginning of the 3rd month she asked me if we could just remain friends as other factors in...
A. 20 May 2006: Wow things are quite stressful for you right now I must admit.
It is never easy to see someone we truly care about with someone else and the fact that you have previously dated is even worse.
Without sounding malicious, how can this man sud... (read in full...)
How do I stay friends with my ex
Q. I dated a girl for just over 2 months and it was the best relationship ever. Not only were we a good couple, but we were the best of friends too. At the beginning of the 3rd month she asked me if we could just remain friends as other factors in...
A. 19 May 2006: Ooh strange that I should mention the decorating thing and the fact that you have already talked about it with her re the new move etc.
Perhaps my antenna is picking up things or something, oohhhh errr missus!!!! lol
OK so the flowers are a no... (read in full...)
I want to leave him but he keeps blackmailing me to stay!
Q. I've got a bit of a problem...I've been married for 12 years and I truely think that I married for the wrong reasons. Our marriage has had it's ups and downs. Don't get me wrong, he is a good man - but has had some problems with his anger in the ...
A. 19 May 2006: Right the main concentration this time is your 10 year old son so focus on him. He is the one who is suffering here so do it for him and get strong by thinking of him.
OK so 12 years is not 5 minutes but I separated from my long term partner ... (read in full...)
How do I stay friends with my ex
Q. I dated a girl for just over 2 months and it was the best relationship ever. Not only were we a good couple, but we were the best of friends too. At the beginning of the 3rd month she asked me if we could just remain friends as other factors in...
A. 19 May 2006: Well done you!!
Can't be easy when you like this girl so much but you do sound like you are being a true friend and every woman appreciates that.
If she needs a man around the house like helping to do any work/decorating then offer!! Always t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been hanging out with other girls
Q. Hi, My BF went to a bike rally for a week. He went out one night as did i. I call him at 2 am at the hotel and he was just getting in. He said tonight wasn't anything great. And i said you were with the guys? He said there was a group of us. But...
A. 18 May 2006: I think the answer to your question is that I think there is a total over reaction here. At the end of the day your relationship should be based on trust. How old are you both?
Men do go out and women may frequent the same places so if you are ... (read in full...)
How do I stay friends with my ex
Q. I dated a girl for just over 2 months and it was the best relationship ever. Not only were we a good couple, but we were the best of friends too. At the beginning of the 3rd month she asked me if we could just remain friends as other factors in...
A. 18 May 2006: I personally think that your ex is still trying to find her feet and I wouldn't get too worried about this new man in her life, you have remained a true friend to her and have been there for her so she can trust you, this new guy has not been around ... (read in full...)
Afraid to change things with my boyfriend and my friend in case this is all in my head.... Advice?
Q. I dont know what to do, Im unhappy in my job, actively seeking a career that will satisfy me more even though it much less pay. Having problems with my boyfriend, a few little ones that feel worse to me because Im unhappy in other areas of my life, ...
A. 15 May 2006: I think it is time for you to really decide what truly makes you happy.
Make a list of all the things you used to like in your previous dream job and see how many of those you are currently doing. Then start to think about a job where you can enco... (read in full...)
What's causing my anxiety?
Q. I have an ongoing anxiety which is really really weird and strange or at least i think so...A month or too back I was feeling low for no reason at all and had random sadness for a week or so and my girlfriend was really worrying that I was going off ...
A. 15 May 2006: Hey at the end of the day you sound like a decent guy and so trying to do everything you can to keep your g/f happy is not a bad attribute to have.
Honesty as my old mum says is always the best policy and whilst it sometimes hurts, you are putt... (read in full...)
My gran is sick and if I don't visit soon, I'm worried I'll never see her again...
Q. My grandma is very sick and i know that she'll die soon. shes been in hospital for ages and is very weak. we didnt know them very well when me and my brothr were young because they live far away and my dad (whose parents they are, but whom we dont ...
A. 15 May 2006: Hi Ellie-May
I agree very much with the answer Lisa has written, as it was what I was going to suggest.
Putting your words down on paper can be so much more expressive than actually saying them, the fact that you are in the middle of your e... (read in full...)
What's causing my anxiety?
Q. I have an ongoing anxiety which is really really weird and strange or at least i think so...A month or too back I was feeling low for no reason at all and had random sadness for a week or so and my girlfriend was really worrying that I was going off ...
A. 15 May 2006: I'm afraid that you need to be honest with your g/f tell her you don't feel comfortable staying at her nan's. Staying at her parents place is different than a strange place miles away from home so just tell her that it just doesn't sit well with you ... (read in full...)
What's causing my anxiety?
Q. I have an ongoing anxiety which is really really weird and strange or at least i think so...A month or too back I was feeling low for no reason at all and had random sadness for a week or so and my girlfriend was really worrying that I was going off ...
A. 14 May 2006: Seems to me like you are currently having an overkill with the time you spend with your girlfriend. Do you ever go out alone with your mates at all?
OK so the sex side of things is fine which is great. I guess the underage thing though is not so f... (read in full...)
Our relationship has hit the rocks...
Q. well me and my boyfriend was living together and now he decided that i move out as we was arguing so i live with his mum now he lives with his mate and there are lasses there and we arnt engaged no more and he wants to take it day by day and he wont ...
A. 14 May 2006: How come you are living with HIS mum?
Where did you live together? Was it rented or what?
What does his mum say in all of this and how come you are not living at home with your parents or friends?
If you are not getting any answers to y... (read in full...)
What's causing my anxiety?
Q. I have an ongoing anxiety which is really really weird and strange or at least i think so...A month or too back I was feeling low for no reason at all and had random sadness for a week or so and my girlfriend was really worrying that I was going off ...
A. 14 May 2006: Your relationship with your girlfriend is still relatively fresh but it seems as though there is a lot more going on here.
Are you stressed with your work or do you have any financial worries at all at the moment.
When you say your body ke... (read in full...)
I'm not quite sure I said enough to her, can someone help?
Q. Is there such a thing as not saying enough? Last week this girl I had a huge crush on, but now I merely fancy her a bit, I spoke to. I asked her how she was, if she had an email address but only a few other things. Problem however is that she ...
A. 13 May 2006: Listen it's not a terrible question OK and I wasn't trying to have a go at you I just want you to ask yourself what you truly want that's all.
You can always come onto this site and ask whatever you want and you will always get answers as we al... (read in full...)
I'm not quite sure I said enough to her, can someone help?
Q. Is there such a thing as not saying enough? Last week this girl I had a huge crush on, but now I merely fancy her a bit, I spoke to. I asked her how she was, if she had an email address but only a few other things. Problem however is that she ...
A. 12 May 2006: I am confused here, this girl you had a huge crush on until only last week you suddenly just merely fancy her a bit?
How can a crush go to just merely fancy her a bit?
I think you are trying to distance yourself from this girl purely because y... (read in full...)
I'm not quite sure I said enough to her, can someone help?
Q. Is there such a thing as not saying enough? Last week this girl I had a huge crush on, but now I merely fancy her a bit, I spoke to. I asked her how she was, if she had an email address but only a few other things. Problem however is that she ...
A. 11 May 2006: The fact that this girl has given you her mobile number means that this is an opening and she is interested in you.
Otherwise, she would have kept her mobile number to yourself so even though you break up from school in a week, why not drop her... (read in full...)
Really jealous and it's causing arguments, I hate myself :( Help please??
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now.Im 19 and hes 21. we are so in love and trust eachother 100% i cant explain how much we really do care and love eachother. We moved in together about 4 months after we got together. it may sound fast ...
A. 11 May 2006: I used to be exactly the same as you, it is your own insecurities that are causing these arguments, why do you not believe that your b/f is with you because he wants to be and you are the girl he has chosen to be with.
If you constantly remind y... (read in full...)
He wants to go out once a week with his friends and I don't think it's necessary...
Q. Here's my problem.... my boyfriend and I moved in together about a month ago. I changed states to move in w/ him... he wants to go out once a week with his friends to do something or other... and it bothers me because i dont think its necessary ev...
A. 10 May 2006: OK so you are into a new relationship of living with your b/f, I understand that you want to feel completely engrossed with one another but if you make a demand that he is not allowed to see his friends once a week, I think you are being unrealistic ... (read in full...)
He looks at explicit sites on the computer and talks to women, but says he'll stop.....I need help!
Q. I have been in love with and dating a guy for a year and a half. I know that he chats with women in chat room and otherwise on his computer. I also found that he posted dating profiles and profiles on very sexually explicit places. I confronted ...
A. 10 May 2006: So glad that my words have helped.
Just continue to stay strong and don't accept a life where you come second best. We all want to be number one with our partners so stick to your guns.
Keep me posted eh!!
BFN... (read in full...)
I have no sex life because of my wife, what should I do?
Q. I am 39 and been married since 1990. I have two beautiful children whom i adore, and a lifestyle which surpasses my expectations.My problem is that my relationship with my wife is totally unfulfilling for me physically. We have sex approx once a ...
A. 10 May 2006: Following your earlier reply, I hope this is OK to talk to you via this way.
Your explanation of your situation with your wife seems to be that she has had issues with sex for a very long time and I am amazed that things have jogged along fo... (read in full...)
He looks at explicit sites on the computer and talks to women, but says he'll stop.....I need help!
Q. I have been in love with and dating a guy for a year and a half. I know that he chats with women in chat room and otherwise on his computer. I also found that he posted dating profiles and profiles on very sexually explicit places. I confronted ...
A. 9 May 2006: Unfortunately I can only say that a leopard never changes his spots.
The fact that your b/f is talking to other women means that he is not giving your relationship 100% and the fact that he is now putting dating profiles onto explicit sites me... (read in full...)
I have no sex life because of my wife, what should I do?
Q. I am 39 and been married since 1990. I have two beautiful children whom i adore, and a lifestyle which surpasses my expectations.My problem is that my relationship with my wife is totally unfulfilling for me physically. We have sex approx once a ...
A. 9 May 2006: Hi Gas Man,
How much have you talked to your wife about this problem?
I think the fact that you are pinned down whilst having sex with your wife is her dominance over you, I can understand how this must make you feel less masculine during... (read in full...)
I think I may be being taken for a mug!
Q. Hi, I am on the brink here and really not sure what to do and think I may be being taken for a mug! My Boyfriend and I split last year after we both thought the grass was greener and had drunken kisses whilst abroad with friends on separate ...
A. 9 May 2006: Hi again
It seems like your b/f needs more than just a couple of months of counselling, I think it is going to be a long haul thing for him and I think that perseverance is the only way forward for him.
He could get additional help through his... (read in full...)
I'm married but feel like the only girl without a sex-life!
Q. Hi guys iam 28 years old married with a 3 year old child I haven't had good proper fantasic sex for almost a year and the sex in my marriage has dried up and all the girsl who iam at college keep bullying me about it saying they are having i...
A. 8 May 2006: Dear Angel ron
Your very welcome and I hope the advice helps, that is all I can offer I'm afraid.
But I would be interested in knowing how you get on.
Don't feel alone with this or any other problem as this site is all about helping one an... (read in full...)
I've become a virtual prisoner in my own home... How do I get rid of this controlling man?
Q. Hello. I have been in a rough relationship for 10 years. You dont realise how bad things are when you are trying to please the man you love, until its too late. He is a very insecure self centred controlling man. as a result, I have bec...
A. 7 May 2006: Get advice from a solicitor or Citizens Advice Bureau you can talk to them over the phone initially.
This man apart from supporting you on general income is demeaning you the whole time and I know what it is like to live in a relationship where yo... (read in full...)
I'm married but feel like the only girl without a sex-life!
Q. Hi guys iam 28 years old married with a 3 year old child I haven't had good proper fantasic sex for almost a year and the sex in my marriage has dried up and all the girsl who iam at college keep bullying me about it saying they are having i...
A. 7 May 2006: You say you are married is that right?
All your other friends, do they have 3 year old children?
After having a child we concentrate on our child's needs and not our own so it is only natural after childbirth that we go off sex.
Don't le... (read in full...)
I'm 36, new into a relationship and pregnant for the first time... I want to terminate but my doctor says "no"
Q. i just wanted to see what you thought of my situation....i am 36 and 6 months.i have never been married or have children.i met a nice guy a month ago who is 39 and never been married or has any children either.sadly ,there was an accident and i ...
A. 7 May 2006: I would seriously think about everything right now and not just opt quickly for a termination as at 36 you don't always get as many options.
Have you considered the fact that by having a termination at your age if there was any problems and you ... (read in full...)
I want more from our long distance relationship to be more but am scared I will ruin it!!
Q. I am 21, I have a friend that lives in another country, she’s 21 we met on holiday 2 years ago. I have been to see her and now i have just finished an amazing month doing another holiday with her. We have gotten really close and we mean so much to ...
A. 7 May 2006: I think the only thing you can do right now is continue with the contact and just be a friend at the moment. Write her poems or letters and tell her how you feel about her if that is not too scarey.
You have nothing to lose right now as it is no... (read in full...)
His friend is moving close by and I dont want them to!
Q. My bf and i had issues this school year. Major events took place. Now one of his friends who helped with the issues is moving here. He kept this info from me until recently when it was final. To make things worse the only reason he is moving ...
A. 7 May 2006: You say that major events took place in the school year but are not overly specific, what are you scared of?
What do you think this friend will do if he does move nearby?
If your relationship is strong enough with your b/f then this should not ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my bfs lack of ambition??
Q. I love my boyfriend to bits and he treats me like a princess but i cant help but get annoyed with his lack of ambition. So far in his life everything has fallen into his lap and this is what he thinks will happen now. I am saving like mad for a ...
A. 6 May 2006: I think at the end of the day if your b/f can't be bothered to save for a mortgage then he is still not growing up.
How old are you both?
If you are both still young then he is wanting to enjoy life and not thinking in the same way that you are... (read in full...)
I'm engaged to a man whole calls me a "slag"... What do I do?
Q. I am engaged to a wonderful man, well he used to be wonderful. He has recently started being really nasty to me calling me a slag and rough. I have never cheated on him. He always apologises the day after but I can't take much more of it what do I ...
A. 6 May 2006: I cannot believe your comment about this guy being wonderful and you are engaged to get married.
I don't know how long you have been with him or how soon you got engaged but I have to agree with the others, name calling to this degree is just una... (read in full...)
He won't come back home but calls to tell me he loves and misses me...
Q. i need help i broke up with my ex of 6 years he moved out 4 months ago and i still want him back and i still cry i dont know what to do.first off we have a baby together i try to ignore him but i cant cause she wants her dad i try to just let her ...
A. 6 May 2006: I don't know how old your baby is but you sound extremely emotional right now and that could easily be down to the hormones or some post natal depression here. If you are still crying 4 months down the line then you should go and talk to your doctor ... (read in full...)
He said we could work on our relationship, but now says he can't trust me!
Q. Hi, Please help me with the way I'm feeling right now. Since 2002 I have been single. I have loads of guys come over to me to ask me out but most of the time i'm not interested, since I think Im too choosy! I met this guy, and felt like I...
A. 6 May 2006: I think you are really better off without this guy but trust is a two way street as he started to get extremely friendly with one of your friends and offered the naked pictures, if that is how I read your comments correctly.
If you want to let h... (read in full...)
Should we have the official talk or should I just give up?
Q. Should I just ignore or initiate a final talk? I broke up with my bf because he always ignores me and hurts my feelings, one friday's night, I deadly missed him and wanted to speak with him, he refused to pick up my phone when he was partying. I ...
A. 6 May 2006: Keep this guy out of your life as he is playing games with you and he is not considering your feelings.
If he really wanted to consider your health and talk to you he would have done it by now. Stop with the texts, emails and phone calls and conc... (read in full...)
I think I may be being taken for a mug!
Q. Hi, I am on the brink here and really not sure what to do and think I may be being taken for a mug! My Boyfriend and I split last year after we both thought the grass was greener and had drunken kisses whilst abroad with friends on separate ...
A. 6 May 2006: Ooh I think that deep down your boyfriend has a lot of issues that need to be resolved and you are his safety net.
I think the attack from his mother did more than he is letting on and possibly he needs some counselling to deal with it as it se... (read in full...)
Why is it that when I'm content he suddenly changes?
Q. Hello, when I feel comfortable and happy in my relationship and my boyfriend does things that make me think he's the right guy for me, then he all of a sudden starts acting completely the opposite like taking ages to reply to my calls etc...why is ...
A. 5 May 2006: I think truly understanding one another is the key here.
You may think everything is rosey but infact he has issues and perhaps by you becoming more settled and content this scares him so an upset in the balance spices things up again and keeps yo... (read in full...)
I seperated from my husband and now I'm attracted to our mutual friend. What should I do?
Q. My husband cheated on me and we separated earlier this year. My divorce is almost through and I now find myself attracted to some one else. The problem is that he was a friend to both me and my ex. I've kept in touch with this gut since the split ...
A. 5 May 2006: It is always difficult when you are close to someone who was a mutual friend as I was in a similar situation with a good friend of mine who has always been a good friend to both myself and my ex and when he split with his first wife I found myself ... (read in full...)
He had an affair with this woman, and I don't know how she could do this...
Q. My husband had an affair. We are working through the aftermath of pain and we are happier than we have been for a long time. However, I am having a problem with my anger at his mistress. She has set herself up as an agony aunt for betrayed women. ...
A. 5 May 2006: Affairs are never easy and yes I think I would be angry too as she does sound hypocritical, can you let the site know the truth about this agony aunt at all? They should be aware of all of the facts as the advice she is giving to others is as you ... (read in full...)
She is more attractive 'mentally' than physically, am I a horrible person??
Q. Hi there, I want to ask this, because its going through my mind right now, there's this girl im going out with, shes like my best friend (1 of them), im attracted to her alot more mentally than physically, don't get me wrong i love her to bits but...
A. 4 May 2006: I have to say that I was not actually judging everyone as brainless when I said about attractive slim people CAN BE shallow SOMETIMES not all as I would never label everyone in this way I am just saying a certain percentage CAN BE just as some large ... (read in full...)
Cant seem to let go of my old crush, What can I do??
Q. Dear Cupid, I've had a hopeless crush on this guy for a little over a year now (not counting the two or three times I thought I was over him and went in pursuit of another Prince Charming). We used to be friends, and he used to flirt with me...
A. 4 May 2006: Hi Sarah
This guy showed you affection and your first love and that is never easy to let go of for anyone.
But on the down side he has called you bitch and stalker, you really do deserve better than someone who can disrespect in such a way. I... (read in full...)
She is more attractive 'mentally' than physically, am I a horrible person??
Q. Hi there, I want to ask this, because its going through my mind right now, there's this girl im going out with, shes like my best friend (1 of them), im attracted to her alot more mentally than physically, don't get me wrong i love her to bits but...
A. 3 May 2006: Hi Joe
Are you normally interested in the slim, average size of girl?
If this girl is stimulating you mentally but you feel that you cannot see past the fact that she is bigger, do you show it in any way?
Any person can change their size bu... (read in full...)
He's getting texts at weird times and I think he's lying to me. Am I right?
Q. i really need some unbiased advice. im 29, married (hubby 50). the thing is, hubby does occasions mechanical work on vehicles, purely an occasional sideline., there is a woman, around my age, that became a customer last year, but over the past month ...
A. 3 May 2006: I have to be honest here, if there is nothing to hide then why won't he show you the text messages from the male friend (so he says).
This woman is the same age as you and he is obviously flattered by the fact that a younger woman has shown in... (read in full...)
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