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female
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anonymous
writes: I am about to start having oral/full sex with my boyfriend, we have both talked about it and started to experiment but I always stop him before it gets to far, because I always focus on 1 thing. Vaginal pubic hair, I know alot of girls shave it off, and i am not sure whether or not I should, and i don't want him to get disgusted by it or anything like that. So, should I shave it?
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (21 May 2006):
 This is all good advice. Martini cuts right to the point. It's true. Blunt, but true. You sound young. That's not bad but depending on your age you might reconsider this entire thing. If this is your first time, you probably don't really know what to expect. You might be thinking about it too much.
Anyway, some guys like hair, some don't. Some don't care either way. Many guys are just thrilled somebody wants to ACTUALLY sleep with them. I'm 43, and can tell you, shaving is a trend. When I was younger, nobody really did it. Now many people do it. Male and female, especially in the youger crowd. Don't put too much thought into this.
A
male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (21 May 2006):
 The other aunts give sensible advice but I shall cut to the chase.
Forget shaving.
You should get a wax, but leave a neat little "landing strip" of pubes up top to keep you looking feminine. It will look lovely, feel soft and you won't get all stubbly and spotty when regrowth starts
(you're welcome)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2006): You know, you don't have to shave it off, rather trim it a bit? It's possible your bf loves a full bush - or in the words of my friend, "a pubic jungle". Then again, yes like the aunts here have suggested, you should communicate with your bf and see what you both can do about it, if any. Mind you, if cum get on your pubes, it gets quite messy, especially if you don't clean it right away... Here's some nastiness to think about - it gets dried like glue. Quite painful to pull off afterwards. Maybe ask your bf to trim his as well. [laughs] Yes...
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (21 May 2006):
 I totally agree with both of the Aunts replies, especially Bev Connolly's very sound and sensible comments.
I didn't shave my pubic hair for my ex but I did have it shaved once for an operation and the itch and the regrowth is horrendous so be prepared for it if you do decide to do it as it will be a constant thing once you start or maybe consider having it waxed but the thought really does make me cringe for me personally.
Do talk to your boyfriend about it though as some men say ooh yes but they don't have the effects of the shaving so that is your personal choice. Would you ask him to shave his pubic hair for you to perform any oral sex on him, I don't think there is that many men who would go for that one so it is a two way street to a certain degree OK slightly different I know but you get my drift eh.
You are a couple and all decisions like these should be made jointly and if you feel uncomfortable about the whole thing then there should be some sort of compromise i.e. a short back and sides instead or just around one particular area of the vagina.
Best of luck.
BFN
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A
female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (21 May 2006):
 I agree with Bev ask you boyfriend see which he prefers. or go with whatever feels most comfrontable.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (21 May 2006):
 Why not ask your boyfriend?
Surely, if you're comfortable enough with him that you're going to have oral sex, you can have some "verbal sex" too? That is, talk about it beforehand?
If you're too shy to discuss sexual matters with each other, then I suggest that you might not be ready to have any sort of sexual intimacy yet. Sex is more that just a mechanical act, or something that you do because "everybody expects you to". It's the most intimate contact two people can have! You can reduce it to just a bit of mindless distraction if you want to, but you'll be missing out on The MAIN REASON for having sex, which is that feeling of unbelievable closeness with someone. (OK... orgasm is good too...)
My point is that you shouldn't choose to trim/shave your pubes because "that's what a bunch of strangers said I should do". You should ask your boyfriend his opinion and consider your own feelings too. (Incidentally, if you do choose to shave it, you'll find that the itch as it grows back can drive you to distraction, and lasts for weeks.)
But you haven't talked to him yet, so maybe he's not "disgusted" by pubic hair. Why would he be? It's natural, and it only grows in one place, on every woman, in every part of the world, throughout the millenia. Being "disgusted" by something that occurs naturally on every woman's body is about as weird and hung-up as being "disgusted" by eyebrows, or toenails. Trimming, shaving and waxing pubes are just a current fashion, that's all.
If you're really uncomfortable about having hair on your mons, give it a close trim, and ask your boyfriend his opinion of your new "haircut".
And don't forget my main theme, either: if you're close enough to start having sex with someone, you should be close enough to starting TALKING about that sex, too!
Cheers!
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