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... Send *ountry Woman a private message | | | *ountry Woman's profile:OK, I wanted to just let everyone know that for now I will not be on the site as I have realised that I need to take some time out for both my own sake and also for my family. I will not delete myself from this site as I totally believe in it whole heartedly as the thanks over the years that I have received from people I have tried to advise has been amazing and given me so much in return. This site helped me get through the loss of my dad in 2007 and I think I hid my grief a lot then but now I need to find my place in my life and need to dedicate all my energy on that goal and also supporting my family as well. Don't ever be afraid to talk to the wonderful aunts and uncles on this site and remember that if Andrew had never started this site so many people would have never had the fantastic advice and help that they needed so much. I will return you can bank on it OK.
A bit about me now I think, hi everyone as it suggests I am a Country Loving woman who has grown up in the countryside and feel very at home in lovely wide open spaces and birds singing in the morning. I am 44 years old and I lived in a semi rural area for over 19 years, my relationship with my long term partner of almost 20 years ended in June 2005.
I still consider my ex as my best friend, we have good and bad days like most people but I try to stay as amicable as possible for my daughter's sake and my own, sometimes things have not always been great during our break up but life goes on.
Even though I am not in a relationship right now, hopefully 2010 may be the year that I can start to dip my toe in the water again on the relationship side of things. Just need the body to wow now, that may take a little longer unfortunately!!! lol
I think that at 44 years of age I have lived a bit and had all sorts of things happen to me so I can only say from my own personal point of view and would never qualify myself as anything other than a helper hopefully.
My motivation in life is seeing my daughter smile and laugh and just being a mum makes me get out of bed every day. I listen to my friends and have some of these since primary school. I like to think that I am a good friend and if I can help someone I will.
I think if someone needs professional help then they should try and get it and I will advise that if it appears that way.
I do believe that life is for the living and we only get one chance of actually enjoying it as too much time is spent on the trivial things of life but after my dad got bowel cancer in 2000 your life takes on a totally different perspective. My dad passed away in Feb 2007 and so I have had personal close bereavement not so long ago and even though people tell you to get on with your life, the reality of it all is not always so clear cut. Although I had to take some time out from this site for me to help my mum and sister I am back to talk any time or try and help. It helps me too if I hear that some of my advice has helped someone deal with a difficult time in their lives as well.
I hope that my advice which is from my personal life experiences help some people and I welcome any response from anyone I try to help.
I hope in some small way I can at least help take away some confusion or hurt from those who are suffering with break ups or all sorts of other problems.
I am not a doom and gloom sort of person and most days have a smile on my face, I totally understand about money worries and the seriousness of how far that can go, even the possibility of repossession, so even if your worries are not relationship based just send me a note and I will see if I can help in any way OK.
Take care and bfn.
Country Woman
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I think he's living with someone else. He only calls me during weekends, or when he wants to have sex. How do I let him know I'm not happy with our relationship?
Q. So ... I am going out with this guy ... he is nice ...few years older than me ... everything was great ... until I found out,he lives with someone. Anyway .. he told me they are breaking up .. and that she is moving out .. so I gave him a ch...
A. 11 June 2007: I know the message you highlighted was for Elsie but just wanted to say that at the end of the day - good for you girl.
No one can be in your shoes and know your relationship or situation as well as you can so every decision has to be yours.
... (read in full...)
I know I love him, but sometimes I feel I don't like him! We fight all the time. What can we do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year and 9 months now. When the relationship started everything was wonderful and perfect and i was so in love with him, it was amazing. About six months into the relationship we started fighting a ...
A. 31 May 2007: You are still young and this relationship is a lot to take to take on at any age.
It has not been a short relationship either so it must have started when you were even younger.
New relationships are always good at the beginning but as... (read in full...)
Do you think I should drive to his home and confront him?
Q. I was in a relationship for four years (2 hours distance). I'm forty years of age but have never adored a man as much as this guy, who was 8 years younger. For me it was a wonderful relationship and felt as though I would've spent the rest of my ...
A. 31 May 2007: I couldn't agree more with Cateyes I have to say.
So he was the love of your life but the hard facts are that he has already made sure you know that you are not the one for him.
You have had a very lucky escape, he has issues as far as gambli... (read in full...)
I think he's living with someone else. He only calls me during weekends, or when he wants to have sex. How do I let him know I'm not happy with our relationship?
Q. So ... I am going out with this guy ... he is nice ...few years older than me ... everything was great ... until I found out,he lives with someone. Anyway .. he told me they are breaking up .. and that she is moving out .. so I gave him a ch...
A. 26 May 2007: OK so I think the whole thing here is that take him up on his offer to sleep over whenever you want to but never pre plan it.
If the ex is still sniffing around you will soon see by his reaction. Do it more as a spur of the moment thing.
... (read in full...)
Frustrated because my bf never is home for me and the kids. What should I do?
Q. hi all wondering could i get some advice/opinions with wat im experiencing right now, to be honest feel like im cracking up. all replies welcome and thany u in advance. ill be brief, with my bf 3 yrs,we have 2yr and 8yr old boys together, bf wor...
A. 26 May 2007: Hmmm seems to me that if he was working all the hours god sends and bringing in loads of money for you and the children you could see where he is coming from.
As that does not seem to the case then I think he has to either adjust the working ... (read in full...)
When a guy you know says he won't kiss you because you are drunk, what does that mean?
Q. Hi, i'm a bit confused. I know there are lots of guys who will gladly kiss a girl when she's drunk becuase i suppose it's easier for them to be taken advantage of and all that... however, when a guy you know says he won't kiss you because you are ...
A. 26 May 2007: Some guys are more moral than others and this guy obviously thinks that a girl who is drunk is not as attractive as one who is sober and knows what she is doing.
We can all look through the drunken state at someone and think they are gorgeous... (read in full...)
He found a new gf after first giving me an STI ...so why can't I get over him after all this?
Q. Hiya everyone ive got a really embarrasing problem but the thing is it hurts too n just wanted some help plz!! well the thing is i was seeing this lad 4 bout 3 months n we got on really well. we both liked the same music n had a really gud laugh but ...
A. 26 May 2007: Oh sweetheart you fell head over heels for this guy and he has treated you like dirt and you don't deserve that.
I cannot believe you are not angry with him for doing this to you.
He is not a guy with a backbone I'm afraid and he has moved ont... (read in full...)
I want to be there for my father bc he has cancer, but my mum and son are making life so hard! What can I do?
Q. I live at home with my elderly parents and my 3 children. My 25yr old son is an alcholic, my 18yr old is well adjusted, but this gets the family down. It will obviously affect my 10yr old daughter. My dad has cancer he hasn't told mum. My mum tak...
A. 26 May 2007: Oh my dear you poor thing, living with this must be so hard for you, I do feel for you.
Living with your elderly parents is one problem in itself but to also have your 3 children who by the sounds of things are not children anymore apart from you... (read in full...)
Affairs are not worth it! Thanks for everyone's advice!
Q. about a week ago i posted this question http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-dont-know-how-to-end-it-what.html I just want to thank all those who replied to me.I know what i did was wrong but i also know now that i have to live with the guilt. F...
A. 25 May 2007: Take my hat off to you girl, it is never easy to admit when we are wrong and you have done this to a whole site which possibly condemned you and supported you.
I was the one who was cheated on and whilst it was not easy to deal with at the time... (read in full...)
Feel uncomfortable about my grown-up boys having their girlfriends stay over...
Q. I am 52 yrs.old and have two college-aged boys (20 and 22 years old). They've come home for the summer to live with me and work and both of their gilfriends have been hanging out with them at my house. This is fine, but then the g/f's have started ...
A. 24 May 2007: Nicola79 has basically said what I would have said to you.
You are the dad here and it is your house, just because your a male as well does not mean that you condone everything their doing.
Instinct as a parent kicks in when our children com... (read in full...)
Do I approache him or not? His kid complicates matters a bit.
Q. Okay here's the deal. I'm 18 soon to be 19. my last relationship lasted about 2yrs. and it's been forever since I've had the chance to meet anyone. I just started a new job a few months ago and I have been developing a thing for a co-worker ...
A. 24 May 2007: Listen true friends forgive and others do not so if this guy is a true friend he will finally come to the point of having your best interests at heart and if you never speak to him again so be it. He is the immature one at the end of the day.
... (read in full...)
Just got back from Iraq but my girlfriend has gone very cold on me... is it a phase?
Q. I guess I have a fairly complex question. I suppose thats due to the complex situation :P. Basically I've been in and out of a relationship with this girl for almost 3 years now. I just did a tour in iraq, came back, and we got togather again. But ...
A. 24 May 2007: Frank B Kermit does seem to have a point here.
I don't know how long you were in Iraq as you did not say but if she has been the one sitting around waiting for your return she has had to live a life without you and that could have been going ou... (read in full...)
My husband says he's "b urnt out" after our 11 year relationship!
Q. My husband says he is burnt out on our 11 year relationship, i dont want to just throw it all away..am I only dreaming that this will work out?...
A. 24 May 2007: I agree with Carina on this one I have to say as you don't really explain fully about your situation.
Whether you have children and whether your relationship has changed over the years perhaps with them being involved.
If you don't have child... (read in full...)
Should I follow my mind or my heart after my husband cheated?
Q. What should i follow,my mind or my heart? My mind tells that i have to leave my husbnd for the cheat he did in our relationship. but my heart tells that i have to give him another chance for the sake of our marriage life..Im confused...any advice ...
A. 24 May 2007: You have already had 2 good responses to your question and the only one who can truly decide is you at the end of the day.
Every one who gives advice on this site is an individual and we all view situations differently for one reason or another,... (read in full...)
My bf won't let me drive my own car? Right or wrong?
Q. Is his behavior irrational? My fiance will argue with me if I don't let him drive my car. I don't see what the problem is since it belongs to me. I will let him do it once in awhile, but I like to drive my car when he's with me too. He has his own ...
A. 24 May 2007: Hmmm I was in a relationship for a very long time and my ex used to drive normally all the time, it just seemed automatic that he would go to the drivers door and I was fine with that, it just seemed natural.
When I first met him though I always h... (read in full...)
I love him but fear I'm way too young for him. Isn't it better to let someone go if you know your not good for them?
Q. hes 9 years loder than me and im just holding him back. Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 months nearly and wev had more than our share of problems. hes 25 and im nearly 17 and obviously thats been a problem for alot of people. but only recently ive ...
A. 23 May 2007: I can't honestly say I agree about letting him go, he obviously loves you and age is only a number.
How do your parents feel about you seeing someone who is older than you, have they met him yet?
OK so you have doubts and that is normal in any... (read in full...)
Do I approache him or not? His kid complicates matters a bit.
Q. Okay here's the deal. I'm 18 soon to be 19. my last relationship lasted about 2yrs. and it's been forever since I've had the chance to meet anyone. I just started a new job a few months ago and I have been developing a thing for a co-worker ...
A. 23 May 2007: Oh hell and just when things were going really well.
One big lesson learnt here eh!! Never listen to an ex as they normally have an ulterior motive. Hard lesson you have learned in this but one you can take with you through life I think.
... (read in full...)
Why do men change when they have been with you for a few years?.
Q. Hi all, Would like your thoughts on this subject. Why do men change when they have been with you for a few years?. I remember when we first used to kiss and cuddle and it was like melting in his arms. The sex was the best ever, and we couldnt lea...
A. 23 May 2007: Nicola79 has given you very sound advice and I couldn't agree more.
It is the norm in most relationships that we become settled and content. The constant striving to impress our new bf or gf becomes getting home in time for tea or making sure we ... (read in full...)
Why is it that porn has become just 'acceptable behavior' for all guys? But many of them are not cool about it, when their gf's do it.
Q. Dear all, I have a question to ask. Sorry this is so long but I had to get it off my chest because I am very upset about it. When I was young, everyone knew that blokes would buy the odd Mayfair and a right of passage it seems would be your Mum ...
A. 23 May 2007: I completely understand what you are saying here as I lived with the same scenario for years with my ex.
He used to buy his porn mags in brown paper bags and yes I would come across them from time to time but nearly 20 years in a relation... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to call us bf-gf anymore after over 2 years! How could he fall out of love with me soooo fast?
Q. I and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 2 1/2 years. In the beginning it was great, we always used to spend time together. He did little romantic things for me, we would talk to each other on the phone hours and hours. We then moved in ...
A. 23 May 2007: Unfortunately I have to agree with DVI's very true comments.
When a guy does not want to be labelled with the bf/gf scenario and he is mentioning another female don't sit around and wait to get hurt.
You moved in together very early on in your... (read in full...)
I get jealous for the most stupidest reasons! How do I get over this?
Q. Hello, I'm a jealous girlfriend, I get jealous for the most stupid things... I can't help the way I feel but I know if I don't stop this now, I'll ruin my relationship with my boyfriends. I love him and I know he love me too. Things I get je...
A. 23 May 2007: What started this jealousy off for you?
How long have you been with your bf now?
I used to be extremely jealous and possessive in my long term relationship and a lot of it stemmed from the fact that I had cause and had been hurt in the past... (read in full...)
How do I stop my bf being possessive??
Q. I've been with my bf for 6 months and he has now become really possessive of me. When random guys chat me up he'll freak out on me and tells me that I must be doing something to make these guys chat me up and I must be encouraging them in some way, ...
A. 23 May 2007: I have to agree with Stina on this one, I think your bf is well and truly over-reacting after such a short period of time of being together.
It seems to me that something has happened with perhaps a previous relationship whereby he now feels he... (read in full...)
Really worried about this discharge, anyone know what it might be ?
Q. hiya,i need a little bit of help please. i have noticed that for about a week now ive had viginal discharge,its clear and quite slimy,it doesnt smell. i have just gone to the loo and when i wiped myself there was quite a lot on the loo paper. also i ...
A. 22 May 2007: OK you are starting to put two and two together here and reaching 5.
Calm yourself first of all. Are you due to have a period or have you just had one?
Sometimes the slimy discharge can be linked to pregnancy but I would not say for certain.... (read in full...)
My husband recently told me he didn't want to get married to me at first, but is okay with the relationship now. I feel so hurt. What shall I do?
Q. My name is Linda* and my husband and i have been married for nearly two years. Before we got married and were also engaged, he broke up with me. I tried unsuccessfully for eight consecutive months to try and get him to stay. I'd mostly given up but ...
A. 21 May 2007: OK you have dragged up the past and you have got some honest answers by the sounds of it.
Your husband felt pushed into marriage, a lot of men say that they are never ready for it but sometimes they just take the plunge.
Just a query here? What... (read in full...)
How can I tell my boyfriend that I'm pregnant without scaring him away?
Q. hey i just found out im pregnant this morning i took 2 tests and both came out positive im so upset nd scared of wot my parents will say but i dont even know how 2 tell him, i tried after i found out on the fone but i started crying nd hung up, how ...
A. 21 May 2007: Sweetheart there is no easy way to say this to anyone, your bf or your parents.
The longer you leave it though the harder it will be.
I would say that telling him over the phone is probably not the best way to tell him as you will never see h... (read in full...)
Do I approache him or not? His kid complicates matters a bit.
Q. Okay here's the deal. I'm 18 soon to be 19. my last relationship lasted about 2yrs. and it's been forever since I've had the chance to meet anyone. I just started a new job a few months ago and I have been developing a thing for a co-worker ...
A. 20 May 2007: Oh bless her heart a little 2 year old girl.
I bet she is the apple of her daddy's eye as they are so gorgeous at that age.
I very much doubt she will even comprehend what is going on around her at that age, I know my daughter never did. When ... (read in full...)
I would like to work on a proper relationship with this man. But our slim wallets and the distance between us make me doubt our chances.
Q. I've recently recovered from depression, and this guy came into my life just at the right time as I'm planning on making a fresh start. We're not in a relationship but I told him I would like to be in the future, and he said he was expecting it ...
A. 18 May 2007: Personally I think the fact that you have been coping with depression and you are both barely getting by means that you should not rush into anything right now.
Are you both likely to continue studying for much longer, do you both apply for gran... (read in full...)
Do I approache him or not? His kid complicates matters a bit.
Q. Okay here's the deal. I'm 18 soon to be 19. my last relationship lasted about 2yrs. and it's been forever since I've had the chance to meet anyone. I just started a new job a few months ago and I have been developing a thing for a co-worker ...
A. 17 May 2007: Look just relax and don't stress yourself out about it, wow if this guy does not like something with chocolate and strawberries then he is mad.
Talk about a way to a man's heart eh!!! lol
Just because he has a child does not mean that he is ... (read in full...)
What are the true signs that your partner is cheating?
Q. i believe that we could tell if our partner is cheating on us by certain signs but the thing is i don't know these signs!!! could you help me out thanks ...
A. 15 May 2007: Ooh there are so many different signs that someone can show as every one of us is an individual.
Does your partner give you lots of attention?
Does your partner go out a lot on their own?
Does your partner look shifty when asked about ... (read in full...)
She bugged me for a ring and now that I gave her one...but she won't commit to me! Help!
Q. Does she still love me? I am 24 and my gf is 21. We have been together for 2 1/2 years off and on. we have a child together and she also has an older child. the last break up we had was very bad and since then i have been trying my hardest to get ...
A. 15 May 2007: Your details on what has happened in your relationship are rather sketchy.
So you are 24 and your gf is 21 and she has already had 2 children, wow she has done a lot for a girl of her age.
How old are both of these children? Your child holds... (read in full...)
Do I approache him or not? His kid complicates matters a bit.
Q. Okay here's the deal. I'm 18 soon to be 19. my last relationship lasted about 2yrs. and it's been forever since I've had the chance to meet anyone. I just started a new job a few months ago and I have been developing a thing for a co-worker ...
A. 15 May 2007: Well you have come to this decision yourself and you sound as though you are comfortable with it so go with your gut feeling on this.
I get the impression that putting your phone number on a good luck card is too much for you right now and that... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex hasn't been sending their son to school. Bf refuses to deal with it. What can I do?
Q. i need some advice on an ongoing problem with my partner and his child from previous relationship.ive just sorted one crisis out{he was spending far too much time round his ex,s with the 14yr old being the excuse}this took 3yrs and basically drained ...
A. 15 May 2007: Hey I wasn't trying to be too judgemental of you, I just wanted to try and understand more of the background of everything and you have completely put me in the picture so I do appreciate everything you have said.
Getting stoned and just being in... (read in full...)
Do I approache him or not? His kid complicates matters a bit.
Q. Okay here's the deal. I'm 18 soon to be 19. my last relationship lasted about 2yrs. and it's been forever since I've had the chance to meet anyone. I just started a new job a few months ago and I have been developing a thing for a co-worker ...
A. 15 May 2007: Have you thought any more of the card idea?
I get the point about the cup cake and showing up at his new job.
Just go with the number in the card and putting in about a drink if he fancies it sometime, but only do it if you feel you can.
... (read in full...)
My best friend cuts, how can I help her?
Q. Hi! Well I'm worried about my best m8,recently I've discovered she's an emo.She has cuts all over her wrists nd sum on her arms.I don't know if I can convince her 2 stop doing this 2 herself even if she just dresses like an emo I want her 2 stop c...
A. 13 May 2007: I can only say that the advice you have already been given is sound advice as love-him knows from her own personal experience.
I think you should say that you are there for your friend but also have you found out what the cause of this self har... (read in full...)
should I feel insecure because my husband is watching porn?
Q. I caught my husband jacking off to internet porn. This makes my so insecure about us. Should it?...
A. 13 May 2007: Well unfortunately porn on the internet is very easy to access so it is very common place these days for a lot of men.
How is your sex life with your husband? Do you have sex very often and is it enjoyable when you do?
Does he want sex more of... (read in full...)
He wants me out of the house but half of it is mine!
Q. Today my partner has just got back from another weekend away to get away from me. He wants me to move to my mams as things are bad and he doesn't want to be around me. The house is in both our names and i keep refusing to go until he gives me my s...
A. 13 May 2007: Have to agree with all the others on this one sweetheart.
This guy is playing away again without a shadow of a doubt and the whole guilt trip thing is the only way he knows how to try to force you into a corner.
Get legal advice straight ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex hasn't been sending their son to school. Bf refuses to deal with it. What can I do?
Q. i need some advice on an ongoing problem with my partner and his child from previous relationship.ive just sorted one crisis out{he was spending far too much time round his ex,s with the 14yr old being the excuse}this took 3yrs and basically drained ...
A. 13 May 2007: I have to say that I feel that the advice rhythmandblues2 has given to you is sound advice.
There does seem to be a little conflicting information going on here though in as much as when the bf was spending a lot of time at his ex's you felt tha... (read in full...)
Do I approache him or not? His kid complicates matters a bit.
Q. Okay here's the deal. I'm 18 soon to be 19. my last relationship lasted about 2yrs. and it's been forever since I've had the chance to meet anyone. I just started a new job a few months ago and I have been developing a thing for a co-worker ...
A. 13 May 2007: OK your honesty about everything is very refreshing for someone your age I must admit and that is not me sounding condesending in any way OK.
OK so this guy is older than you and your last relationship started when you were what 16/17 and lasted 2... (read in full...)
What's the best way to get over someone?
Q. Im in my late 30's and I've just finished a 4 year relationship because i found out that he was cheating on me with another woman, i was devastated because i thought he was happy with me. How do I get over him? because i feel so depressed, i won't ...
A. 13 May 2007: Just keep reminding yourself that you are doing the right thing and the one thing he hates is the fact that you are ignoring him and he is the schmuck as he has lost you - wonderful you.
Just take one day at a time and although it is hard stay bus... (read in full...)
He said he goes to his ex when hes angry with me to know what his options are ! ! !
Q. I met a man 2 months after my son passed away from cancer. We have been dating 1 year and two months. After 5 years alone I let my walls down to allow him into my life. I immediately fell in love and trusted him fully until I found out he went to a ...
A. 13 May 2007: Hey sweetheart you are NEVER EVER alone and although your son has passed away his spirit is still close by with you every day of your life.
You say you wish your son was around to put his fist in this guy's face, well your son would want you safe... (read in full...)
GF dumped me and now I can't get a date because people think I'm gay
Q. I really need you help!! I'm still at school in 3rd year now (just done my sats) and i really need your help. i went out with a girl in 1st year and loved her to bits it lasted 7 month and i was devastated when we broke up over some jealous idiot ma...
A. 10 May 2007: Oh you poor thing, perhaps you need to start to think about the little habits you have picked up and although you think they are minor, do they scream of female tendancies?
Do you play football, cricket or rugby or do many male sports at all?
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't keep his hands off me in public. Is this normal?
Q. ok this may sound silly, but my boyfriend is obsessed with my boobs! everywhere we are he has his hand up my top. he even does this in public now. The other day we were sitting watching TV with my parents and he had his arm round me and was there ...
A. 10 May 2007: I was with a man who was obsessed with big boobs for nearly 20 years and even though he loves them completely he would never ever do anything as embarrassing as how your boyfriend has behaved.
Personally I think you need to tell him it has to s... (read in full...)
What's the best way to get over someone?
Q. Im in my late 30's and I've just finished a 4 year relationship because i found out that he was cheating on me with another woman, i was devastated because i thought he was happy with me. How do I get over him? because i feel so depressed, i won't ...
A. 1 May 2007: Wow what fantastic advice you have received from AskEve and RoyoftheRovers, I totally agree with both of them.
You have been part of a couple and when you feel content and happy in a relationship we don't always see the awful bombshell that is ... (read in full...)
He said he goes to his ex when hes angry with me to know what his options are ! ! !
Q. I met a man 2 months after my son passed away from cancer. We have been dating 1 year and two months. After 5 years alone I let my walls down to allow him into my life. I immediately fell in love and trusted him fully until I found out he went to a ...
A. 1 May 2007: I am so sorry to say this but you deserve so much better than this man.
He came into your life when you were extremely vunerable and in need of an enormous amount of support and love. He has abused this trust you placed in him.
You have supp... (read in full...)
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