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... Send *ountry Woman a private message | | | *ountry Woman's profile:OK, I wanted to just let everyone know that for now I will not be on the site as I have realised that I need to take some time out for both my own sake and also for my family. I will not delete myself from this site as I totally believe in it whole heartedly as the thanks over the years that I have received from people I have tried to advise has been amazing and given me so much in return. This site helped me get through the loss of my dad in 2007 and I think I hid my grief a lot then but now I need to find my place in my life and need to dedicate all my energy on that goal and also supporting my family as well. Don't ever be afraid to talk to the wonderful aunts and uncles on this site and remember that if Andrew had never started this site so many people would have never had the fantastic advice and help that they needed so much. I will return you can bank on it OK.
A bit about me now I think, hi everyone as it suggests I am a Country Loving woman who has grown up in the countryside and feel very at home in lovely wide open spaces and birds singing in the morning. I am 44 years old and I lived in a semi rural area for over 19 years, my relationship with my long term partner of almost 20 years ended in June 2005.
I still consider my ex as my best friend, we have good and bad days like most people but I try to stay as amicable as possible for my daughter's sake and my own, sometimes things have not always been great during our break up but life goes on.
Even though I am not in a relationship right now, hopefully 2010 may be the year that I can start to dip my toe in the water again on the relationship side of things. Just need the body to wow now, that may take a little longer unfortunately!!! lol
I think that at 44 years of age I have lived a bit and had all sorts of things happen to me so I can only say from my own personal point of view and would never qualify myself as anything other than a helper hopefully.
My motivation in life is seeing my daughter smile and laugh and just being a mum makes me get out of bed every day. I listen to my friends and have some of these since primary school. I like to think that I am a good friend and if I can help someone I will.
I think if someone needs professional help then they should try and get it and I will advise that if it appears that way.
I do believe that life is for the living and we only get one chance of actually enjoying it as too much time is spent on the trivial things of life but after my dad got bowel cancer in 2000 your life takes on a totally different perspective. My dad passed away in Feb 2007 and so I have had personal close bereavement not so long ago and even though people tell you to get on with your life, the reality of it all is not always so clear cut. Although I had to take some time out from this site for me to help my mum and sister I am back to talk any time or try and help. It helps me too if I hear that some of my advice has helped someone deal with a difficult time in their lives as well.
I hope that my advice which is from my personal life experiences help some people and I welcome any response from anyone I try to help.
I hope in some small way I can at least help take away some confusion or hurt from those who are suffering with break ups or all sorts of other problems.
I am not a doom and gloom sort of person and most days have a smile on my face, I totally understand about money worries and the seriousness of how far that can go, even the possibility of repossession, so even if your worries are not relationship based just send me a note and I will see if I can help in any way OK.
Take care and bfn.
Country Woman
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Do you think he will ever realise he has made a mistake and come back??
Q. My husband divorced me after 16 years leaving me and the children citing that he wasn't happy and that there must be more to life etc. I was terribly hurt. Since then he hasn't bothered with the children and although he is very well paid it has been ...
A. 16 September 2008: Hmm I read your response and understand how you must feel as my ex went off with someone else but our situation was different to yours as my ex did not get into a fully sexual relationship until after we split.
The lies and deceit hurt the most... (read in full...)
My older boyfriend is very controlling. I can't wear makeup, email guys, or leave the house... he thinks I'm looking for sex. Is the age gap just too much?
Q. I'm having an issue....I have been seeing this guy (we'll call him Randy) for a while now, and I'm starting to wonder if the age difference is going to take a toll on our relationship. He's 41 and I'm lets just say younger. Well, heres the problem, ...
A. 14 September 2008: Well sweetheart if he is such good friends with your mum doesn't she see what is going on here and advise you properly?
Are you trying to keep your mum happy by staying with this man?
OK so you can't work due to your condition but surely you h... (read in full...)
I cry in bed when my boyfriend has fallen asleep. Why does this happen?
Q. For the past few months I find myself crying in bed with my boyfriend. He does not know because I wait until he has fallen asleep. It is only when I am in bed with him, not when I'm alone. We have had no problems in our relationship and he has been ...
A. 13 September 2008: It makes me wonder if this is something that happens after you have been intimate with your boyfriend and you could be the opposite to sad i.e. so happy you want to burst as you feel so close to him but as he sleeps it makes you realise what you ... (read in full...)
Do you think he will ever realise he has made a mistake and come back??
Q. My husband divorced me after 16 years leaving me and the children citing that he wasn't happy and that there must be more to life etc. I was terribly hurt. Since then he hasn't bothered with the children and although he is very well paid it has been ...
A. 13 September 2008: Sweetheart you are unfortunately kidding yourself about the way your ex husband is thinking right now.
He has got to the stage in his life where I think he is either suffering from a mid life crisis and feels that by cutting himself free from his... (read in full...)
My older boyfriend is very controlling. I can't wear makeup, email guys, or leave the house... he thinks I'm looking for sex. Is the age gap just too much?
Q. I'm having an issue....I have been seeing this guy (we'll call him Randy) for a while now, and I'm starting to wonder if the age difference is going to take a toll on our relationship. He's 41 and I'm lets just say younger. Well, heres the problem, ...
A. 13 September 2008: I have to say I agree with every other bit of advice you have received from everyone.
Age aside for a minute NO one should be in a relationship if they have to have the upper hand all the time. How dare he delete your email accounts and only hav... (read in full...)
Since I gave birth, my husband doesn't have sex with me because I'm fat. Doesn't he love me anymore?
Q. after i gave birth with my son i became fat and have many stretch mark now my husband doesnt making love with me because im fat. what does it means? he doesnt love me anymore? but he's still sweet with me and have care for me. and im miss him so ...
A. 13 September 2008: Sweetheart have you ever thought that your husband is giving you space since the birth of your son?
Women are all absorbed when a new baby comes into the relationship and he may realise that you are worn out from everything you are having to do wi... (read in full...)
How can I aproach my wife so that we make love at lease once a week?
Q. Hi... I'm 32 and she's 37.We've been together for 5 years.Every year we have less sex(1-2 times/ month) but the quality of our sex is phenomenal. My desire for her is very intense but she refuses to have sex more than 1-3 times/ month and it's ...
A. 10 September 2008: I think the loss of the baby/miscarriage, whatever really happened did affect her more than she is letting on and perhaps by saying at the beginning of your relationship that she did not want children was a way in which she could protect herself ... (read in full...)
How can I aproach my wife so that we make love at lease once a week?
Q. Hi... I'm 32 and she's 37.We've been together for 5 years.Every year we have less sex(1-2 times/ month) but the quality of our sex is phenomenal. My desire for her is very intense but she refuses to have sex more than 1-3 times/ month and it's ...
A. 8 September 2008: I would say that the advice you have received from Emilysanswers is sound advice.
I would also say that has anything changed for your wife over the last year at all, like her job or her appearance at all?
Has your wife gained or lost a sizeab... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is emotionally detached. I was raised in a loving home and I'm not used to this. What do I do?
Q. Hello..my name is lisa..i am 40 yrs of age...i have been withmy partner for 8 years...the relationship has not been an easy one...in the beginning, he had a problem with jealousy (and of course it was me who paid), he also had a problem with alcohol ...
A. 6 September 2008: Sweetheart a relationship is supposed to be about two people pulling together and making the most out of life, you seem as though you are just existing and that is not a life for you.
So you have been with your bf for 8 years but if you cannot l... (read in full...)
How do women discover how to integrate a certain way of communicating into a man's thinking and behavior? How I can open up and express how I feel AND get positive results?
Q. I've been with this guy for almost 2 years. We never had "the talk" about where we stand in our relationship. I'm confuse and slightly unhappy. So, I'm trying to open up and express how I'm feeling about our relationship. I did some reading about ...
A. 27 August 2008: OK I think you are wanting to find all the answers at once and that doesn't always happen with men.
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus is a book that may be more helpful personally, I haven't read it all the way through but the one thin... (read in full...)
I accused my boyfriend unjustly and he has forgiven me, but his mother has not. Should I stay with him after this?
Q. I have to be the most stupidest person in the world, well not stupid gulible. I accused my bf of kissing a member of his family (well his cousin to be exact) cause someone told me and I believed it so when I accused him it came out as if it was ...
A. 27 August 2008: OK I don't know how long you have been with your bf but the person who told you about the kiss is at fault here and they were obviously meddling for some reason, have you confronted them about it?
There must be a level of animosity within h... (read in full...)
My husband cheated on me and got the other woman pregnant! Why am I made out to be the villain?
Q. My husband and I have been married for three years and we have no children together. We are both 24 years old. His parents never approved of our marriage due to racial factors, he is white and I am asian. A week ago, for the first time, I fo...
A. 27 August 2008: I have to say that what Lotus mama808 has said makes a lot of sense.
You have not behaved badly in this marriage and YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT, your husband is looking for someone to blame and obviously his parents just see this as a way out of the m... (read in full...)
She's taken my best friend away from me...
Q. Me and one of my best friends are not talking right now. There was this girl who I was very close 2... she humiliated me and made me feel like crap... I stopped speaking 2 her and until this day I remember what she used to say 2 me/... She us...
A. 27 August 2008: No sweetheart you are not wrong here.
You feel betrayed and rightly so, this awful girl that said the dreadful things to you in the first place was obviously jealous of you in some way, perhaps because you had a better life than her? I'm not sure... (read in full...)
I don't want to believe it, he dosen't try to kiss or hug and if I reach for him he pulls away... is it over?
Q. Hi I have been married for 10 years but been with my husband for 20 a few must ago through my doctor I found out he cheated, because we contracted STD , he denied it all the to the doctors office and then the next day he was in tears saying how bad ...
A. 26 August 2008: Well the cat is out of the bag in a big way as there was no way of hiding it was there? You both contracted an STD and the guilt he feels for passing that on to you must be enormous and rightly so.
OK it is one thing to cheat and another to not u... (read in full...)
I think I want to leave my wife!
Q. I have been married for the past 14 years. We were both 19, pregnant, and pressured into this marriage. Not an excuse, just a back story. Now I am having several thoughts of leaving my wife. I have had a couple of little flings in the past three ...
A. 23 August 2008: You have had sound opinions from both hlskitten and ChiRaven and both male and female perspectives.
I was in a long term relationship and found out that my now ex had been cheating after our daughter was born. Children put an awful amount o... (read in full...)
We had unprotected sex today, what to do now?
Q. So..me and My Girlfriend Had Sex Today..It was good and all..Problem is..we did it Six Times...Nother Problem..they were all unprotected..and I know there's a possibility that she might be pregnant..I'm not scared or anything just worried..cuz my ...
A. 23 August 2008: hlskitten has given you sound advice as I was only going to suggest the same thing, the morning after pill.
If you don't want a child till your 18 make sure you start using condoms they are so much cheaper than a child believe me. Maybe talk to ... (read in full...)
My ex has moved on but I thought he would come back. Am I settling for too little?
Q. well me and my ex has been broken up for 5months now we where together 3yrs and we brokeup and three days klater he had a new girlfriend lately we have been having sex about twice aweek he calls every three or four days but now he hasnt called in ...
A. 23 August 2008: Oh sweetheart value yourself SO much more than what you have been.
Your ex is a USER and always will be. How dare he expect sex after breaking up with you and continually tell you how great the new girlfriend is, and he was getting sex twice a ... (read in full...)
The less time my boyfriend spends with me, the more time I spend with my ex, and all the old feelings are coming back...
Q. hi there, in advance i am thankful for any advice given to me. well the thing is, i went out with this guy for about 6months. then i was wiv another guy for 2years, but we broke up wen i had a miscaridge n had a mental breakdown. no...
A. 20 August 2008: Unfortunately if communication with your bf is non-existent then it is time to face facts and start talking about what you both want out of life.
Don't continue to do the dirty on him without cutting the ties first. You are confusing yourself... (read in full...)
We broke up and he went back to his drama queen, although he says he loves me... what do you think?
Q. I have been dating a guy for 1 1/2 yrs.He is 40 I am 29.I knew him from having our horses at the same farm,never paid any attention to him as we were both in serious relationships when he moved out there. After some time I broke up with my boyfriend ...
A. 19 August 2008: Well I think this is a classic case of a guy who is so scared of being alone and keeps going back to someone who treats him badly as he doesn't know what else to do.
Unfortunately I don't think getting into a new relationship with you was a wise m... (read in full...)
He doesn’t appear to want sex and I am no longer attracted to him. Is my marriage of 13 years over?
Q. I am thinking about my leaving my husband of 13 years. I am 42 and he is 52. I met him 2 years after I divorced my violent first husband. My current husband is not violent, but I think he is controlling; I had no self-confidence when I met him and ...
A. 19 August 2008: Personally I think some couple counselling could be very useful in this situation.
Seems to me like you are talking to him and he is not listening and maybe to a degree when he talks to you the same thing is happening in as much as you are not ... (read in full...)
Was it all my fault this relationship didn't work?
Q. I need to know if i am all to blame for a relationship break up. I was with someone 18 months and at the start thought he was real nice. I believe everything people say til they prove otherwise! Quite quickly he lied about hearing from his ex, ...
A. 15 August 2008: Oh sweetheart this ex bf of yours is a complete loser and he has had to get back at you in some way for ditching him.
The fact that this guy lied to you when swearing on his daughter's life shows what a low life he is.
You are not the one ... (read in full...)
Can I have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend who lives with daugher and her family?
Q. I am in a (5 month old) relationship with a mid 50 year old man who lives with his mid 30 year old daughter, her husband and 2 children (one of which is an almost 2 year old granddaughter that he adores of course). I am very jealous of the relation...
A. 14 August 2008: By what you say you have been putting others first for so long that you have forgotten how to do that for yourself. I know how easy it is to put others before yourself as losing my dad last February and being involved in all the legal aspect of that ... (read in full...)
Can I have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend who lives with daugher and her family?
Q. I am in a (5 month old) relationship with a mid 50 year old man who lives with his mid 30 year old daughter, her husband and 2 children (one of which is an almost 2 year old granddaughter that he adores of course). I am very jealous of the relation...
A. 14 August 2008: Oh sweetheart you don't feel it right now but looking in at this situation from a different perspective shows that he was never really intending on making a committment towards you even in living with you. This guy has been deceiving his own ... (read in full...)
Sex mad husband and making me have sex whilst drugged?
Q. I am writing about my 10 year marriage, that I feel so burn out on at the moment. My husband and I have never had a fabulous sex life; in fact, I have never been that physically attracted to him at all. We conceived our daughter after only knowing ...
A. 11 August 2008: There is a huge difference between your husband being sex mad and him drugging you and making you have sex when you are not even lucid.
I think you definitely need to get some evidence of this, does your husband ever leave you alone while you drin... (read in full...)
Husbands that leave pregnant wifes, what causes them to think this is OK?
Q. I am 38 years old, married and 22 weeks pregnant. My husband has walked out on my and I have no way to contact him. He left in my 10th week and then we tried to work things out and were doing good when all of a sudden he flipped out on me and said ...
A. 11 August 2008: Sweetheart I can only say how sorry I am that your husband has walked out on you but this is the time that you should be having a wonderful time enjoying your pregnancy and not having all this stress as cupidguy points out very well.
You need to ... (read in full...)
Can I have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend who lives with daugher and her family?
Q. I am in a (5 month old) relationship with a mid 50 year old man who lives with his mid 30 year old daughter, her husband and 2 children (one of which is an almost 2 year old granddaughter that he adores of course). I am very jealous of the relation...
A. 11 August 2008: Oh my word well like you say actions speak louder than words and this guy is really not used to being in a relationship.
A woman will always remember what a man says to her about seeing her later but men tend to say things like that in an off the ... (read in full...)
I am married and I have love in my heart for another man...Help me ladies and gentlemen!
Q. Hello, I have feelings also like you and the other women on here. My husband and I are fine together most of the time, but just recently we were apart for about a year and with his new job he started to get fat. I am not a bad person or a person ...
A. 11 August 2008: Personally I think you are not being fair to your husband, you say about the stigma of getting a divorce but is it fair for you to have sex with another man and then go back to the marital bed as such, not really.
I think in your own mind you are ... (read in full...)
My husband cheated--is there any hope for us to move forward?
Q. My husband cheated on me. I am heartbroken, but still in love with him. He loves me too, I know this for certain. Has anyone out there had a spouse cheat, then eventually move forward into a loving and faithful relationship with that spouse? I need ...
A. 10 August 2008: Well I am sorry to say that I cannot give you a glossy picture but what I can try to give you is some hope but getting over an affair can work if both of you are committed to working at your marriage.
My story is different my ex who I had almost a... (read in full...)
I found porn on my dads computer - help!
Q. i found pornography on my dads computer a couple of days ago. i have always been sensitive and an only child and led a very sheltered life. i know hardly anything about sexual things or anything like that and find porn quite revolting myself. I ...
A. 10 August 2008: Sweetheart I think a girl always sees her parents as ideal role models and when you find out something by accident it knocks the whole image of this perfect person in your life.
When I was about your age I found out that my dad used to keep pag... (read in full...)
Should I have touched him intimately?
Q. There is a gentleman that I've been dating on and off for about a year and a half now. I saw him tonight (he came over) for the first time in about 5 months and we made out. I let him touch my breasts, but I did not touch his penis. I just didn't ...
A. 10 August 2008: Well I must have missed the part about the 5 month of no contact but I must say that the advice you have been given by the other aunts sounds about right.
You know how you want your sex life to continue and if this guy is staying away for that len... (read in full...)
I'm thinking about a baby. If I just stopped taking my pills without telling my boyfriend...?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years I am 22 and he's 21. We live together as well as his brother in a 2 bedroom apartment, but in about 2 months we will have an actual home. Their dad is buying it and we are renting it from him. my guy ...
A. 9 August 2008: This is just plain unfair I'm afraid.
Your bf is trusting you right now to take your pill and he is confident in his own mind that you are having SAFE sex right now. OK there are no guarantees when someone is on the pill but if you stop taking i... (read in full...)
Should I have touched him intimately?
Q. There is a gentleman that I've been dating on and off for about a year and a half now. I saw him tonight (he came over) for the first time in about 5 months and we made out. I let him touch my breasts, but I did not touch his penis. I just didn't ...
A. 9 August 2008: You are an age where it is very rare that you are still a virgin but by the sounds of things you are and that in itself is a whole other ball game.
If you have been dating for over a year and a half then you should know this man by now and by a... (read in full...)
What signs should I look for that would tell me I'm pregnant?
Q. ok im 15 and i had un protectedsex about 4 times and i dont know if im pregant i wanna know how do u know if ur pregant when u have sex like every day what sign should i look for right now im so stupid i just need help and with my mom moving out of ...
A. 9 August 2008: Sweetheart you need to go and get yourself tested or buy a home kit test as they are normally pretty good at checking. What I don't understand is why did you have unprotected sex 4 times if you weren't trying to get pregnant as condoms don't cost ... (read in full...)
My fiancee prefers porn over me - I don't feel loved anymore!
Q. My fiance and i Have beentogether for 5 years andwhen we first started dating i had no problem with his porn because it wasent a lot of it.then he went nuts with it and he had a gig of it and it hurt so bad because i felt like i wasent hot enough ...
A. 9 August 2008: Sweetheart this situation isn't going to change and it seems as though it is getting worse.
You have been with your fiance for a long time for someone still so young.
Don't sit around in a relationship that is not going anywhere and it ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my ex. What should I do?
Q. I've been split up with my ex for about 2 months now and she has started seeing someone else but whereas when we split up we talked all the time, now i'm lucky if i get a text replied to. The person she with now has told her not to have any contact ...
A. 9 August 2008: Have to say that I couldn't agree more than with the advice of the other Uncles on here.
It is always hard to see an ex move on with their life while you still have feelings for them but these are obviously unresolved on your part and this is ... (read in full...)
When I am without him I am sick over him and when I am with him I hate him - why can't I LEAVE him?
Q. I am 23 years old and have gone out with this guy since I was 18. Like most relationships we started out really happy and so in love. But as time went on I discovered he is bipolar and has a drug problem. He's been in rehabs and stuff and sees a ...
A. 9 August 2008: OK I know two people around me who are bipolar and it seems to me like you are not taking into consideration his condition in all of this.
He won't leave you EVER as his emotions are just not there, if he is on drugs to control his bipolar ... (read in full...)
What if he doesn't get me a birthday present like he said he would?
Q. My birthday was earlier this week. My bf hasn't been good about getting me gifts or making it special for me. This year I decided I wasn't going to expect anything and that way I wouldn't be disappointed. So of course when I expect nothing, ...
A. 8 August 2008: Personally OK I think your bf has finally got the message that you want a present and your birthday was a flop due to your illness but I think you took the wind out of his sail in as much as he was trying to go down the DS Lite route and due to low ... (read in full...)
You think I could change my feelings towards large women or should I try and cool things down before I hurt her feelings?
Q. I met a girl online a couple of months ago and we have met a few times since then. We get on really well and she is one if the few girls that I've met that I can talk with for hours on end and forget what the time is. We appear to have so much in ...
A. 8 August 2008: OK personally being a larger woman myself means that I see this from the woman's point of view and can't help that.
OK so is this woman happy with her size or does she tell you that she wants to be slimmer?
Not everybody has a fantastic relati... (read in full...)
Can I have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend who lives with daugher and her family?
Q. I am in a (5 month old) relationship with a mid 50 year old man who lives with his mid 30 year old daughter, her husband and 2 children (one of which is an almost 2 year old granddaughter that he adores of course). I am very jealous of the relation...
A. 8 August 2008: Well sounds to me that the words you received from us all have echoed those of your bf and if him getting his feet under your table does worry him then it is understandable that he gets comfort from his family.
5 months is no time at all and I th... (read in full...)
Can I have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend who lives with daugher and her family?
Q. I am in a (5 month old) relationship with a mid 50 year old man who lives with his mid 30 year old daughter, her husband and 2 children (one of which is an almost 2 year old granddaughter that he adores of course). I am very jealous of the relation...
A. 7 August 2008: Personally I think you are asking a lot of a relationship that has only been happening over the last 5 months.
Your bf is very close to his family and that bond will always be very special. His oldest daughter and her husband and child are obvi... (read in full...)
I'm having doubts about getting married: Advice!
Q. i am 18 going on 19 and have this guy we're engaged and i dont know what to do. i have committed myself to him at such a young age. we fight sometime about really stupid stuff. i just want to know what should i do continue the relationship or end ...
A. 7 August 2008: Sweetheart you have said it yourself you are still only 18 and just about to turn 19, it is very young to be engaged and believe me when I heard that my 18 year old niece was getting engaged I was like "what" but she assured me that she knew what ... (read in full...)
My sister had a bad experience, with a guy from an on-line dating service, how do I protect my self, if I decide to meet this man?
Q. I've recently joined an on-line dating site and have started chatting to this guy who lives in the same area as me. We haven't been chatting too long, but I rather like the guy so far. He recently asked me if I wanted to meet up for a drink or a...
A. 5 August 2008: OK well your sister was very unlucky and that is not good.
I have talked to people over the internet on dating sites and yes it is risky as someone once asked me for money after chatting for about 3 weeks and things appearing to be normal but all ... (read in full...)
What can I do so that my girlfriend accepts she is beautiful?...
Q. Do girls and woman really judge themselves harshly on their own appearance? My girlfriend is absolutely gorgeous yet she is convinced that she is plain looking!!!! What can I do to get through to my g/f she is beautiful?! I keep telling her she is ...
A. 4 August 2008: Yes I have to agree with Replacement on this one, you are not going to win on this with your gf.
It is inbred in women I guess, there is so much peer pressure to look a certain way and it is so much more thrust at us compared to men.
Look at... (read in full...)
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