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*unt honesty agony aunt

*unt honesty

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I am on here to listen to your problems, guide you and give you my advice. Some may like what I say, and some may not, but I am not here to make friends. I am simply here because I care about people who need some help with life.

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Do I keep trying to contact him? Or cut contact despite his debts to me?

Q.   Dear Cupid. I think I know the answer but I need some advice... So, I have been helping out an ex from seven years ago with rent while he's jobless for the last six months (He rents out a room in a house) (I offered to help him) on top ...

A.   9 November 2017: The police cannot do anything for you, basically you need to accept that this has happened and take from it that it is not wise to give people money no matter how close you feel to them. It is a hard way to learn but at least now you know in the ... (read in full...)

Do I keep trying to contact him? Or cut contact despite his debts to me?

Q.   Dear Cupid. I think I know the answer but I need some advice... So, I have been helping out an ex from seven years ago with rent while he's jobless for the last six months (He rents out a room in a house) (I offered to help him) on top ...

A.   6 November 2017: It is a hard way to learn a lesson, but take from this not to lend money to friends again. I doubt you will see that money again and that is why he is ignoring you. No don't go around to him and confront him, the best thing to do is learn from it ... (read in full...)

How do I lay my cards on the table? He wants to go into the Navy but I think he's missing a good thing in us!

Q.   Hi. I'm sorry for the long email - but I feel like I need to get loads of details into this to give afull picture. Here's my story: I'm a 25-year-old woman who struggles to meet guys that I'm attracted to and have a really great connection with....

A.   31 October 2017: Hi OP off course you will have better luck, you just need to remember that a guy should treat you well and don't settle for anything less. You are only young OP so enjoy your youth. ... (read in full...)

I can't bear to let him near me since I discovered he is still watching porn!

Q.   During our recent holiday, my partner and i were in our room and i decided to have a shower. To my surprise i saw my partner change channel on the tv to a porn channel! I could see the tv reflection in bathroom mirror...i alerted him to the fact i ...

A.   27 October 2017: I am sorry anon female but I have to disagree with you. You cannot pin men watching porn as degrading just because abusers may or may not have used it. At the end off the day I know plenty off women who watch porn and you have no right to say it is ... (read in full...)

He's changed how the trip expenses will be split!

Q.   So, I'm in a relatively new relationship.....we met in June but things have gotten more serious in the past 2 months where we now are exclusive......he's been talking about an event he wants to attend in the big apple in december and so we've been ...

A.   25 October 2017: Women do not usually earn less than men in this country, am not sure where about in the world you are based, but remember it is not the same everywhere. In actual fact I earn more than my Husband. I feel if a woman wants equal rights then surely ... (read in full...)

Haunted by the past and now I'm expecting

Q.   Hey, my name is Nancy, I'm 22 years old. I don’t know how to make this story short, but here we go Man, I've been feeling really depressed since early this year, my mental stability was ruined the day I accidentally found my husband's sex tape wit...

A.   25 October 2017: Nancy surely you must have some friends or family somewhere that can help you here?... (read in full...)

My ex hasn't told me his wife is filing for divorce

Q.   I've been seeing ex for some time. Yes, I know it's wrong it's a long story. anyway, his now wife is filing for divorce but he hasn't told me. heard from mutual friend. why would he not mention this?...

A.   25 October 2017: I do really hope that you are not considering taking him back after all off this. You should never be someone else's second best.... (read in full...)

I found out my husband went for an adult massage before we married

Q.   I just checked my husband phone and found out that he went to adult massage before we marry 2 months back. His friend asked him to join last week and he rejected it as he said hes broke now. Yes he is financially unstable now as he loss some from ...

A.   24 October 2017: It is normal? No I don't think it is normal and if I found out my husband had been to one and did not tell me I would consider it cheating and I would divorce him. To me trust is a big thing in my marriage, I trust my husband and if he broke that ... (read in full...)

Why am I still dreaming about my ex even though I'm in a loving relationship

Q.   I went out with a girl for a brief period 9 months ago. Although she ended it only after 3 months of dating I was crushed. I honestly felt deeply in love with her and she admitted early on that she was in love with me too. We didn't have a bad break ...

A.   24 October 2017: We do dream about the oddest off things at times, and the more we think about it the more the dream gets repeated. At this stage I would say just to try and put it to the back off your mind and continue in your relationship, you seem happy with who ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend got another woman pregnant on a break and I am not feeling good about it

Q.   I've been dating my boyfriend on and off close to 3.5 years. Nothing has been perfect, but one thing is we really do love each other. We've both been faithful, never any worries there. And when we did take a break before (a few times) we both ...

A.   24 October 2017: Have a think about your relationship, you say you have both been together on and off for three and a half years, but why after all this time are you still working on the relationship? Relationships should not be this hard, I mean yes we all have our ... (read in full...)

Am I being played here, or does he really associate being my boyfriend with one day marrying me?

Q.   My ex-boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me last month, we had a pretty amicable breakup (he told me that we have a good thing and it was hard because he loves me but he just doesn't see himself married to me one day and tbh I don't either since ...

A.   24 October 2017: Don't have sex with anyone if you have feelings for them and they are not offering more, because in the end it will be you that gets hurt. People sometimes know the right things to say so that they can have no strings attached sex, but if he is not ... (read in full...)

He's changed how the trip expenses will be split!

Q.   So, I'm in a relatively new relationship.....we met in June but things have gotten more serious in the past 2 months where we now are exclusive......he's been talking about an event he wants to attend in the big apple in december and so we've been ...

A.   24 October 2017: I don't understand why you wouldn't just ask him in the moment and say you thought all you had to pay for was the event ticket? Communication is a HUGE part in a relationship and it sounds like it is lacking in yours. Why not just ask him and then ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my long distance crush my feelings for him?

Q.   Hello, I've got a friend who I've been having crush on over a year and he had crush on me (he told me)... when we've been out few times, we made out (only kissing etc) and I've developed feelings for him...Unfortunately, he wanted just fun and no r...

A.   24 October 2017: If you are both far away from each other and neither off you are prepared to move to be with the other then is there any point in telling him? If it is not going to change anything then it might be best just to end contact and wish him well. What is ... (read in full...)

Do I keep trying to contact him? Or cut contact despite his debts to me?

Q.   Dear Cupid. I think I know the answer but I need some advice... So, I have been helping out an ex from seven years ago with rent while he's jobless for the last six months (He rents out a room in a house) (I offered to help him) on top ...

A.   24 October 2017: Having sex with someone and paying his bills does not mean that you are romantically involved it means more that he has used you and also had his cake and ate it as well. Try and not beat yourself up about this, but he has used you and you have ... (read in full...)

What is it like being a stepdad?

Q.   Hi I've got to known this girl for 1 year and she has daughter that's 5 years old, what's it like being stepdad? My parents say just be dad from start that way you see him grow in stages as you have a full dad title ...

A.   24 October 2017: I think the best thing for you to do is to talk to her and ask her what she wants you to be to her child. Does the child have her dad in her life? Does she know you and mummy are a couple? These are all things that need to be done properly and only ... (read in full...)

The relationship I am in has become exhausting

Q.   So I need to preface this by saying I am not a second-chances person. Basically once someone loses my faith or trust, they usually can't get it back. That being said, I dated this guy for about a year, from September of last year to earlier ...

A.   24 October 2017: If he truly loved you he would want to show everyone at the wedding you are together, he would bend over backwards to meet your parents and tell them how much he wants to be with you and treat you well. I have no doubt he has feelings for you, but I ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend was kissed by a gay guy and now he wonders if he is bi?

Q.   My boyfriend of 10 months just told me he was kissed by a gay guy at a party I wasn't able to attend, and also told me he thinks he might be bi now. I'm just wondering if other people consider this cheating. I'm pretty uncomfortable with the whole ...

A.   24 October 2017: Off course kissing someone else is cheating. The best thing you can do is finish with him before you get hurt. If he was bisexual then he should have been honest with you and not cheated on you. It doesn't matter that it was with a man, in fact some ... (read in full...)

Is 15 years too big a gap for us?

Q.   Hi I have been talking to a guy on line who states he is 39 although looks a little older in his picture. I am a 54 year old woman but I do not look my age and have stated that I am 43. I work as Cabin Crew and surrounded by loads of young p...

A.   24 October 2017: Everyone is different when it comes to age gaps, personally if the two people are adults and happy then that is all that should matter. However intending to lie is just going to cause a whole lot off trouble. This man might actually be looking to ... (read in full...)

My long distance love wants me to send sexy pictures of myself

Q.   I've been going out with this boy for 2 months now and it's a LDR situation. I knew it was going to be hard to not spend all that time together but I felt I could handle it. Lately he's been asking me to send naughty pictures to him and it m...

A.   24 October 2017: You say he respects your decision to not send the photos? How does he do that when he still asks when you have told him how it makes you feel. Sweetie am not sure you know what respect means, it means he would not ask again as he knows how it makes ... (read in full...)

I have the hots for my sister-in-law

Q.   I got married 3 years ago, since then i have had a crush on my sister-in-law. She is a beautiful girl. Whenever i see her i have this uncontrollable urge to have sex with her. I love my wife but i also have feelings for my sister-in-law. Neither my ...

A.   24 October 2017: Where you at a stage where you felt you loved your wife enough to want to spend the rest off your life with her and marry her? Or was it that the marriage was arranged and you did not know what the future held? Either way you must know that your ... (read in full...)

How do I make him feel for me the way he once did?

Q.   Guys, I need help. So my boyfriend broke up with me and it's different from most relationships so I don't know what to do. Let me explain our entire relationship, we were best friends for 3 years and one year he really liked this girl and couldn't ...

A.   24 October 2017: Sweetie you are both very young and your feelings are very raw at the moment. Girls mature quicker than boys. I am sure he wanted to be with you and enjoyed them ten months but now he has made his mind up and well honey you cannot make him feel ... (read in full...)

Her attitude is confusing. Should I cut her off?

Q.   Just looking for advice regarding my friend as I'm honestly confused. I have this friend I met through university (a guy) and he has a friend we are both kind of friends with (she's a girl). Anyway my problem is sometimes this girl acts like...

A.   24 October 2017: It sounds like she is threatened by you for some reason. Maybe she is jealous? Maybe she wishes she was more like you? Either way she is not acting very mature and well really you need to be asking her these questions not a bunch off strangers on ... (read in full...)

Why was he was so mad because I answered his phone?

Q.   Hi. Last night my bf got so mad at me and left my place at 2 am. He fell asleep on the couch while I was watching a movie, around 130 am I noticed on his phone maybe like 10 phone calls then like 10 messages, his phone is always in silence so he ...

A.   24 October 2017: I wouldn't even answer my husbands phone if he was asleep. It was a strange thing for you to do, and he probably felt like you invaded his privacy. ... (read in full...)

Why would a man get distant when time together is limited?

Q.   so i have been seeing someone for about 2 years now, we are both military and it is now the time for me to rotate to a new duty and he will not be able to come with me. We both love each other very much but the closer i get to leaving, the more ...

A.   24 October 2017: You need to sit down and talk to him, it sounds like he is trying to protect you both and make the separation easier. You need to sit with him and ask him is he still wanting to keep the relationship going? If you don't keep up communication at this ... (read in full...)

Should I try to see if he is available? If so how?

Q.   Ok! Where do I start? I met a boy seven years ago. We were on a summer abroad in Australia and we fell madly in love with each other. When the summer ended we both went back home. But lived in opposite parts of the country and it just wouldn’t have ...

A.   24 October 2017: What is different now to back then? If things haven't changed distance wise and all these years have passed then surely nothing will change now? Unless you are willing to move your life to be with him then I think it is best not to waste your time. ... (read in full...)

Does my FWB have feelings for me?

Q.   I've been friends with benefits with a guy for over 3 years. We hook up nearly every week. I telephoned him today to speak to him, he was busy building a draw and I didn't realise I was on loud speaker, during the call we were talking and he was ...

A.   23 October 2017: I know these comments are not want you wanted to see or hear, but if you don't listen to them now then you are going to go on wasting more years off your life and getting hurt. This guy wants sex from you, and you are giving it to him, he does... (read in full...)

Is this a ploy to make me jealous?

Q.   This guy and I decided to be friend with benefits before uni' but when we got to uni, it was quite different. The guy is in his late 20s and we go to each other's place to sleep over but we simply end up cuddling and kissing. We got into an argu...

A.   23 October 2017: If he is in his late twenties then I would hope that he is well over playing childish games. Could it be possible that he actually does like someone else? At the moment you are only sleeping together as agreed so if you are feeling jealous then the ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't my boyfriend want to delete his exes from facebook?

Q.   Why doesnt my boyfriend want to delete his exes from fb? Hes sayin that they r just friends and their break up were amicable but i notice a constant interest of them on his posts and messenger and also hints and subliminal comments One of them ...

A.   23 October 2017: OP just because you are in a relationship with someone doesn't mean you need to give up your privacy. That is why trust is so important in a relationship, without it the relationship does not work because people are paranoid or want there partner to ... (read in full...)

Being used by my boyfriend and I don't know how to get rid of him

Q.   I will try to make it short as possible, I am 35 years old gay and I dated a guy few months ago, specifically in May and I really liked him, everything was great , although he is way younger than me 24 years old, but I felt that he loves me, he ...

A.   20 October 2017: Yeah he is using you, he doesn't love you, he loves the lifestyle that you give to him. Ask him to leave. Then contact your bank and credit card companies and change all your bank details and codes as he has access to it. Get rid off him, he is a ... (read in full...)

Haunted by the past and now I'm expecting

Q.   Hey, my name is Nancy, I'm 22 years old. I don’t know how to make this story short, but here we go Man, I've been feeling really depressed since early this year, my mental stability was ruined the day I accidentally found my husband's sex tape wit...

A.   20 October 2017: OP have you actually asked your husband any off these questions instead off asking a bunch off strangers? Everyone has a past and it was an invasion of privacy in to his the moment you watched that video. I assume he was single at the time so it ... (read in full...)

Was I out of line and is my boyfriend right in not trusting me?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for about 5 years now. A few months ago I met a guy at work who I messaged after I left the job. He was quite flirty with me in this conversation but I didn't think it meant anything. About a month later he messaged...

A.   20 October 2017: If this was an old male friend who wanted to catch up with you over a drink I would say your boyfriend was completely out off order and he should not stand in your way off having friends, male or female. But this guy is not your friend, he is a old ... (read in full...)

How do I lay my cards on the table? He wants to go into the Navy but I think he's missing a good thing in us!

Q.   Hi. I'm sorry for the long email - but I feel like I need to get loads of details into this to give afull picture. Here's my story: I'm a 25-year-old woman who struggles to meet guys that I'm attracted to and have a really great connection with....

A.   20 October 2017: I am sorry OP but if he wanted to be with you he would be. He is not scared off commitment, if he was he never would have been in a relationship for years. He simply does not see you as a long term partner. I am sorry but if he did, he would fight ... (read in full...)

Why am I hopelessly infatuated with this man?

Q.   Hi, I was just wondering if someone could give me advice I'm with my husband for 16 years married 6 and have two wonderful children we had out up's and down's over the years I've been in and out of counselling due to child abuse and suffer with ...

A.   20 October 2017: You have two options as I can see. One: End things with your husband, then go and see how it works out with this guy. Worst case scenario the grass is not greener, you both don't work out and you are left single co-parenting two children from a b... (read in full...)

What should I do about feeling inadequate?

Q.   First off, this is quite the premature question, but tonight, its all I can think about. A year ago, I had to escape a mentally, physically, sexually, and verbally abusive relationship. It was difficult to say the least. A few months after we ...

A.   20 October 2017: Yeah I do feel that therapy would do you good, because you are right no matter how much he likes you, you will wear him down if you keep needing to be reassured. So yes get in touch with a therapist to allow them to help you deal with your past and ... (read in full...)

Do mixed signals just mean he's not interested?

Q.   There's a guy in my graduate program who is very handsome. I knew him previously from a class during undergrad as well. He is also a gentleman and very kind to everyone he comes by. He's naturally friendly, social, and sweet. He says and does things ...

A.   20 October 2017: It does sound like he likes you as a person it is still to soon to know if it is romantically or not, you reminding him off his mother is a big thing in this as this could be why he is drawn to you, take things slow and see where it goes. Try ... (read in full...)

This woman is getting close on the train!

Q.   I catch the busy train to work in Tokyo everyday and there is this cute younger lady who gets on along the way. I am usually standing near the door anyway but somehow she seems to find her way in front of me so we are hugged and crushed together. We ...

A.   19 October 2017: I am not sure why or how she manages to keep finding space to stand in front off you, it must take a lot off pushing and shoving to get her to do that. However it shouldn't matter, you are not single anyway so it doesn't matter why she does what she ... (read in full...)

Why would my guy friend joke about marrying me? Does it mean anything?

Q.   This isn't the first time this guy has joked about us and marriage, but this just happened recently. I was over a friend's house, it was 4 of us. 2 guys and 2 girls (myself included). I said to Guy A: Heyy you need to find me a Caribbean husban...

A.   19 October 2017: It sounds like flirty banter to me if I am being honest. Has he ever showed any other signs off liking you? Also do you actually like him? If you do then you should try and flirt more or ask him out some time on a date and see how it goes. ... (read in full...)

I think he likes another girl but I don't know how to broach the topic

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months but it's not exactly official, his family don't know and only a couple of our close friends know, it's like a need to know basis. Recently he went on holiday back to his home town with a mutu...

A.   19 October 2017: You need to talk to him. From what you have wrote it sounds like he is using you. If he cared about you he would not hide you away he would want to show you off to the world. The way he is behaving with the other girl is hurtful and disrespectful to ... (read in full...)

My ex hasn't told me his wife is filing for divorce

Q.   I've been seeing ex for some time. Yes, I know it's wrong it's a long story. anyway, his now wife is filing for divorce but he hasn't told me. heard from mutual friend. why would he not mention this?...

A.   19 October 2017: It could be possible that he has a few mistresses and he is keeping his options open. Or it could mean he just sees you as a fling and doesn't want you getting your hopes up. Either way if you end up in a relationship with him I really don't know ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend used to be a nerd but now acts like a 'Gangsta'

Q.   He's a middle class white boy whose parents pay for everything including his Mini but he keeps acting like he wants to be the "gangster hood" stereotype and idk it really annoys me for some reason. My parents are also middle class but I was raised ...

A.   19 October 2017: This is who he is, so really it is up to you if you want a boyfriend like him or not. Personally I could not date a guy like this, he would just not be my type at all, if this is who he wants to be then that is who he will be, it is your choice if ... (read in full...)

My guy friend denies being in a relationship and lied about becoming a father

Q.   Hi everyone, so this situation is going to sound kind of crazy. There's this guy who I've been friends with for about 2 years. At this point, we spend a lot of time together, keep in contact on a daily basis, and share a lot of personal information ...

A.   19 October 2017: No you don't need to confront him, he doesn't need to tell you if he has a girlfriend or a baby on the way. However him lying about it does show he has a hiding agenda with you. It seems he doesn't want to tell you for a reason, and the only reason ... (read in full...)

He's getting back together with his ex but doesn't want to lose my friendship

Q.   I met a guy on-line. We dated for about 3 months and became intimate. He recently announced that he has been talking to his ex girlfriend and they have decided to try it again but he does not want to lose my friendship. He wants to meet with me....

A.   19 October 2017: I also remember your last post, why did you not update that one instead off asking in a different way? Nobody is going to stop you meeting him, it is clear you are going to even though everyone will say its a bad idea. Stop blaming his girlfriend, ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend and I argued again, this time over laundry

Q.   I suppose this might be my fault but my boyfriend and I haven't spoken in the last 24 hours because of...laundry. Enter scene: I'm a 25 year old working two jobs currently (soon to quit one to go back to school). He is a 29 year old working on h...

A.   19 October 2017: He may not understand you, but do you understand him? I doubt this is about laundry and more about both off you feeling fed up. You both need to sit down and talk. If chores around the house cause arguments then maybe you could both do up a rota... (read in full...)

Can't seem to say no to sex anymore and actually mean it. What should I do?

Q.   Can't seem to say no to sex anymore and actually mean it. What should I do? Hi I'm 18 and I've had sex with two guys, including the one I lost my virginity to. He was a friend and still is, but he occasionally flirts and I respond to it. We hung o...

A.   18 October 2017: Well if you put out to quick then most guys will loose respect for you and not see you as potential girlfriend material. Even if they suggest sex say no you are not ready. Don't use sex as a way to get close to guys as they will loose all respect as ... (read in full...)

I can't bear to let him near me since I discovered he is still watching porn!

Q.   During our recent holiday, my partner and i were in our room and i decided to have a shower. To my surprise i saw my partner change channel on the tv to a porn channel! I could see the tv reflection in bathroom mirror...i alerted him to the fact i ...

A.   18 October 2017: You can sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel, but he is a adult and if he wants to watch porn then nothing is stopping him. You should not change who he is. It does not mean he is cheating on you it would be absurd to think that. But ... (read in full...)

Have I blown my dream job with a wrong answer?

Q.   Hi I just applied for my dream job in an IT company and got invited for interview. Interview had 4 rounds and I cleared all of them. But after the rounds we had a small question answer round about the job. They asked me whether I'm okay with ni...

A.   18 October 2017: No I doubt it was because off your answer. You where honest and most employees want to see that instead off someone just agreeing with everything. Okay so maybe they found someone who seemed more suitable on paper. That doesn't mean you done bad ... (read in full...)

Family problem has just got worse

Q.   Hi, I posted previously about a fall out I had with my sister due to her not being able to take responsibility for a flat she shares with me and also that I didn't want her drug addict boyfriend round. Anyway she has taken it to extremes and I ...

A.   18 October 2017: I remember your original post. It would be a much better idea moving out and having your own place, your sister is immature and you don't need that drama in your life. You handled it well phoning the police. I would find your own place and make a ... (read in full...)

She cheated twice! Will her boyfriend ever accept her or trust her again?

Q.   There is this girl dating someone she really love this guy and this guy also love her but she later cheat ,she went to have sex with her ex but she no longer love her ex and her current boyfriend found about it he was mad according to him he said ...

A.   18 October 2017: It will take a lot for the guy to trust her again. If she loved him like she said she did then she never would have slept with her ex while in a relationship. I think the girl should take some time to be single and learn to be happy on her own. It ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't my boyfriend want to delete his exes from facebook?

Q.   Why doesnt my boyfriend want to delete his exes from fb? Hes sayin that they r just friends and their break up were amicable but i notice a constant interest of them on his posts and messenger and also hints and subliminal comments One of them ...

A.   12 October 2017: My guess is this relationship wasn't for you if you broke up with him. I hope you will be much happier in the future. ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't my boyfriend want to delete his exes from facebook?

Q.   Why doesnt my boyfriend want to delete his exes from fb? Hes sayin that they r just friends and their break up were amicable but i notice a constant interest of them on his posts and messenger and also hints and subliminal comments One of them ...

A.   11 October 2017: I wouldn't like restriction or control either in a relationship. My husband would never dream off looking at my phone and vice versa because we trust each other. My exes have wrote to me in the past and I have always told my husband. But he couldn't ... (read in full...)

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