I feel that my boyfriend's ex wife was living my dream life and I'll never match up to her
Q. Dear Cupid, I am off for the next week due to holidays and as my boyfriend is working, I offered to work on clearing out his storage. Now he has an ex wife of 10 years(divorced in 2009) and I brought home a ton of boxes that were never unpacked. ...
A. 3 January 2018: OP you need to get rid off him, he is not the man for you, you are to jealous to be with someone who had a past.... (read in full...)
Can you help explain my boyfriend's strange behaviour?
Q. I have a bizarre problem! I've been seeing my boyfriend for ten months and we often go away and stay at hotels but the thing is he picks me up after work about 3pm then when we arrive at our hotel he wants to literally go to bed straightaway and ...
A. 3 January 2018: Have things changed yet or is he still making the effort? I mean your original post made him sound like all he was wanting was sex but your updates said something completely different. Can I ask what is it that is stopping him from staying with you?... (read in full...)
Triangle friendship double cross!
Q. Ive been friends with my friend (Samantha) for 5 years and its really had its ups and downs throughout the years but things started to get worse, the competitiveness, the jealousy etc. We love each other very much but there is a lot negativity and ...
A. 18 December 2017: No I disagree with you not all women bitch and gossip behind their friends back!! I know for sure that I don't and if I had anything to say to them then I would say it to there face. So if you are the sort off person that back stabs there friends ... (read in full...)
Does he even like me? Or is it all in my head?
Q. So I met a guy a year ago at my mothers work and he and I got along very well we had an instant connection. We grew our friendship for a while and then he left for college about 2 hours away. When he left his mom asked me to plan him a graduation ...
A. 4 December 2017: Yeah it sounds like this guy likes you as much as you like him. He probably doesn't want to be rejected by you. Would you feel comfortable asking him out? You could make it quite easy and just simply ask him would he like to go on a date with you to ... (read in full...)
I'm in a seemingly perfect relationship but part of me really wants to be single..
Q. I'm having a bit of a dilemma. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, since I was 17 and he was 16, and we really do love and care for each other. On paper, everything is great. We have had an amazing relationship, but lately I have been wanting ...
A. 4 December 2017: You are both probably very different people now to what you where when you first got together. You where both young when getting together so I think what you are feeling now is normal. I get that you feel you have an amazing relationship but deep ... (read in full...)
I've reconnected with an old boyfriend but don't want to hurt my most recent ex!
Q. Hi I've recently met an old boyfriend from years ago ,we still like each other ,I've been in a relationship over a number of years ,but split 3 years ago but are still friends ,it was a violent relationship that's why it ended but I still have ...
A. 4 December 2017: Honestly if your ex was violent and you are still being friends three years later with feelings involved then I can see why you would feel you are doing wrong by him by moving on. I don't think the friendship that you have with your ex is healthy ... (read in full...)
New in the office but I'm unsure of co-workers
Q. Should I trust this colleague? I just started at a firm downtown and in my previous role I was very talkative I would open up a lot to co-workers etc (I can’t read people sometimes) in this new job I started I noticed one of my colleagues is trying ...
A. 3 December 2017: It sounds like they are the office gossips. My advice would be to be friendly with them but also not to tell them to much or tell them anything personal and private. There are lots of nosey people in the world that talk about others to fee, better ... (read in full...)
Lost my virginity and I didn't even enjoy it but now I'm wondering if I could be pregnant
Q. I just lost my virginity, tbh it was painful and i never enjoyed it at all, according to my friend its because he never did foreplay. Even though i was not satisfied, apparently he was because he came on the inside of my thighs. The cum wasn't alot ...
A. 3 December 2017: Yes you could be pregnant but you could also have caught an sti from him if you did not use protection, I would make an appointment with your doctor to go through different options and ways to have safe sex.
Also yes it was more than likely pain... (read in full...)
What is he saying to me?
Q. I was talking with a guy online and never met him .We chat for month so. He had to travel for work. We were still in contact when he were out of country for his work. Finally, he came back to state and wanted to meet me. I told him I don’t wa...
A. 3 December 2017: Hi op am pretty sure he doesn’t mean he cannot sexually satisfy you in the future. What I get from your post is that he is willing to get to know you more and see what happens. It sounds like he is interested and it also sounds that even though he ... (read in full...)
Any advice on Dear Cupid burn-out?
Q. I know I'm not the most active poster here and I'm not hoping that anyone would recognize me but I'm just gonna post this here for a message and maybe some advice. I'm thinking of leaving DearCupid for some time, all this posts about cheating...
A. 3 December 2017: Hi Sam ?? I think it is best to come off the site for a while if you are getting negative vibes from it and it is worrying you. It’s great to hear that you take with you the fact that you have also helped people with their problems. Off course there ... (read in full...)
I flirted with another man but I never meant to hurt my boyfriend. How do I convince him?
Q. Hello, I am looking for advice. Before I get into it, I take full responsibility for my own actions, and do not shift any of the blame onto my partner. I am merely stating what got me to the point of my betrayal. Me and my (Ex) boyfriend have b...
A. 1 December 2017: Your week is over at your parents now how are you both getting on? ... (read in full...)
I wasn't interested dating because I might move soon but looks like I'm in a relationship now!
Q. So I am a 24 year old guy who had no intentions of dating anyone, because I did not want to start anything during this time in my life. I started working at a part time job and met this girl who I talked to from time to time, who eventually asked...
A. 1 December 2017: I think it is not phasing her because she has just turned 18 and is still young and living in the moment. If you don't see her as part off your future then please just be honest with her so that she knows where she stands. You at 24 should be a lot ... (read in full...)
I need to help my parents know I'm an adult
Q. Hi, I posted a question a few days ago and felt like after getting some responses, I feel quite insecure of my plan. So, I’m 18 years, 19 soon, brought up with an Asian Chinese background. So I got re-in touch with an old friend of mine who I lost ...
A. 1 December 2017: You need to accept that you are an adult now and stop allowing your parents to control you. Yes most parents are worried and get concerned but your parents at the moment are being controlling. Be straight with them tell them he is a friend and you ... (read in full...)
Please counsel me on this man
Q. Hello, I am 46 years old. I met a man from the US online and over two years we have been talking on the phone and communicating via email. We got along very well and he told me he would visit in January of the second year of our meeting. When the ...
A. 1 December 2017: I don't have a clue what his motive would be, just like I am not sure how you could say you are in a two year relationship with him when you have never even met him, don't know his real name or anything about him. Honestly don't waste your time. The ... (read in full...)
He believes lies people say about me!
Q. I've been with my bf for 6 months now , a few weeks in to our relationship we were having a nice day out when some girl accused me of being a prostitute and since then people have said horrible stuff about me when my bf has been with me and despite ...
A. 1 December 2017: He doesn't trust you. Really there is nothing that you can do, if he does not trust you then there really is not point in you both being together. Personally I could not be with someone who thinks that off me. ... (read in full...)
I'm married but starting to get obsessed with the guy my husband and I had a threesome with
Q. Over a year ago my husband and i had a sexual threesome with a single male friend of ours after a night of drinking...this was totally my husbands idea..I was always attracted to this friend but had no intentions of taking it any furthur, even ...
A. 1 December 2017: Honestly why stay married? What do you get out off the marriage? If you want to be with this other guy then why not get a divorce and tell this other guy that you want to be with him? Are you scared that he does not want anything from you other than ... (read in full...)
I feel that my boyfriend's ex wife was living my dream life and I'll never match up to her
Q. Dear Cupid, I am off for the next week due to holidays and as my boyfriend is working, I offered to work on clearing out his storage. Now he has an ex wife of 10 years(divorced in 2009) and I brought home a ton of boxes that were never unpacked. ...
A. 1 December 2017: Firstly I would suggest that you get your anxiety and alcohol usage under control. Once doing that then maybe you can look at if this relationship is enough for you. It is clear you want the wedding, the firsts and the whole package but you need to ... (read in full...)
Caught her in a lie. What now?
Q. Two years ago I was ghost. I treated her really well. She told me before that she runs when a man starts falling for her, so I never contact an ex, that's how I, get my closure, but a friend told me about a site, where you can look up people’s, ...
A. 1 December 2017: Look she is your ex for a reason, and it sounds like the lady who was your ex was keeping a lot from you. But it is not healthy now to look her up. Accept that she is part off your past, that she may not have been honest with you but she is not in ... (read in full...)
I'm like a weekend hobby for my boyfriend while his sister and nephew are his real family
Q. I have been dating a guy in a long distance relationship for 2 years. He lives 50 miles away and I only see him at weekends. In the week he lives with his widowed sister and works with her son to help him out as he is retired. The other week for the ...
A. 1 December 2017: It sounds to me like you are not wanting advice so am not sure why you wrote on here, but if you feel this bad about him then maybe you should end things once and for all. ... (read in full...)
Can you help explain my boyfriend's strange behaviour?
Q. I have a bizarre problem! I've been seeing my boyfriend for ten months and we often go away and stay at hotels but the thing is he picks me up after work about 3pm then when we arrive at our hotel he wants to literally go to bed straightaway and ...
A. 1 December 2017: Why can you not both stay at each others houses, does his mum disapprove? Your parents? I mean this sounds like a very strange set up for people in there thirties. Or is that your real age?
For me it sounds like he just wants sex from you, this does... (read in full...)
Why would he not see me in 2 months then turn around and say he loves me loads?
Q. hi everyone. person i'm seeing for a year now,we not had the exclusive talk but hes told me we friends but seeing where it goes etc we are sleeping together mostly when we see each other sex is involved 9/10 times it happens now recently iv not ...
A. 29 November 2017: Hi OP I have read and answered your other question, may I suggest that you update that one as plenty off the aunts and uncles gave you good advice yet you did not reply.
I have not changed my opinion on him, he is using you plane and simple. He d... (read in full...)
Lost my virginity to a man I don't know or like very much
Q. How do I cope? I recently lost my virginity to a guy I barely knew and i regret it so much.i don't feel innocent anymore. And the worst part of it is i lost to the wrong guy,i always assumed i would lose it to someone i loved so much and it would be ...
A. 29 November 2017: Honestly we all make mistakes there is no reason for you to feel bad at all. Although I do think that you should be honest with him and tell him you are not interested in a relationship because it sounds to me like he is looking for one so break it ... (read in full...)
I have been having an affair with a woman for 7 years and I am content. Is this strange?
Q. I have been the male equivalent of a mistress for the past 7 years. Is it strange that I don't mind? I havent dated or even tried to date because I am just fine with having her a few times a month. I am 42 years old and never been married, but I ...
A. 29 November 2017: I don't find it strange but I do find it very sad that this is enough to keep you happy in life. If you are truly happy then good for you but I know for a lot off people it would kill a part off them knowing that they loved someone yet they wanted ... (read in full...)
I am getting weird vibes from my girlfriend in regards to her friend but I don't want to tell her to stop talking to her friend
Q. So my girlfriend had this mate that they've meet on tinder. She calls my girlfriend everyday and texts her. Practically any social media she can contact my gf. Just a couple of days ago my gf said that they've kissed. I've meet the friend and all I ...
A. 29 November 2017: Do you find it acceptable for your girlfriend to cheat on you with another women? I find this whole post bizarre. Tinder is for hooking up with people and if you are in a relationship then why is she looking to hook up with other people. Is it an ... (read in full...)
Triangle friendship double cross!
Q. Ive been friends with my friend (Samantha) for 5 years and its really had its ups and downs throughout the years but things started to get worse, the competitiveness, the jealousy etc. We love each other very much but there is a lot negativity and ...
A. 29 November 2017: I don't think this friendship can be mended and I don't think you deserve Sam's friendship. What age are you 10? Honestly how you treated Sam is nothing short off bitchy, cruel and bullying. You should be ashamed off yourself and try and learn to be ... (read in full...)
Was it inappropriate for my wife to wear the revealing dress just to get back at me?
Q. A short time ago me and my wife had an argument just before we were going out to meet friends for some dinner and drinks. She wasn't quite ready, so she said she would meet up with us later. So I went and met with our friends. She came in about a ...
A. 29 November 2017: If the reason she wore it was to annoy you then that is petty and pretty childish. However did you ask her was she looking for a reaction or did you just assume? Maybe she liked the dress and felt good in it. It is her body so it is her choice how ... (read in full...)
My world has come crashing down because my wife just told me that the daughter we've been raising is not mine but from her affair after the marriage!
Q. My wife and i have been married for 3 years, 6 months ago she told me something that rocked my core. the daughter i have been raising is not mine. she had an affair 2 years ago. the reason she cheated was that she was a virgin when we got married ...
A. 29 November 2017: If you think that men 'deserve to have fun' and that by fun you mean going out and cheating on your wife then that does not make you any better than she is. I am sorry but I really don't like your attitude. I am sorry that your wife cheated on you, ... (read in full...)
I sent him a nude, I hope he hasn't lost respect for me.
Q. I posted a while ago saying i had a met a man with quite an usual job- he's a travel author (fairly successful). He is 35 years old, is in the public eye quite a lot and has a lot of female attention. I went on 2 dates with him back in june but then ...
A. 29 November 2017: To me if I was sent a naked photo I would not take the person seriously at all and I would find them very easy. Also I would think that I wasn't the only one getting these pictures. This picture is out there now, you barely know this guy how do you ... (read in full...)
Am I reasonable to choose money over potential happiness?
Q. Dear aunts, I am in a fix as I type this. I made a first attempt at online dating about 7 months ago and the only guy I really had an interest in, we hit it off. It was rocky at first but we are amazing now and not a day goes by without us chatting ...
A. 28 November 2017: I would be very suspicious here, something does not add up. Please put your safety first at all times. Remember that even though you have both spoke over the internet it does not mean you know him, he is still a stranger to you, please do not put ... (read in full...)
We still sext even though he has a girlfriend, how do I move on?
Q. For the past two years ive been sort of sexting/sending the odd nude to this guy. Recently though he's gotten into a relationship, however we have still continued sexting etc. We've never slept together its strictly 'cyber'. A few weeks ago (I ...
A. 28 November 2017: Is that how low your expectations are OP? Some sexual cyber attention from a guy and you willingly send him nude pictures? You tried to be spiteful and hurt his girlfriend, imagine if he was spiteful and posted all your nudes on the internet, that ... (read in full...)
I'm disappointed he saw a new movie with his brother instead of me
Q. So my bf had a family funeral to attend this weekend. It is out of town far away. After the funeral he was bored so decided to go to see a movie that we planned to go see next week together. All he texted me was 'I think I am going to go see the ...
A. 28 November 2017: You sound like you are being a very controlling girlfriend. Honestly you sound like you are still a teenager so am not sure if you have put down the wrong age or if you are still quite immature. Did you think to ask your boyfriend how he felt after ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him his breath smells?
Q. I am seeing the most amazing person I have ever met, but I have a problem. His breath always smells and I have no idea how to bring this sensitive subject up without hurting his feelings. I did not notice it at first, but recently I have become ...
A. 28 November 2017: Honestly I think tell him the truth. I know you don't want to offend him but he will soon get over it and I bet he will be glad to know the truth. Some people who have problems with smelly breath are the last to know as they cannot smell it ... (read in full...)
Would this relationship be wrong?
Q. I've already asked this question but I didn't outback detail in to it so I'm gonna try again! Is it wrong for me to be falling in love with my soon to be step uncle ? I've recently turned 18 and he's recently turned 21. My uncle is marrying ...
A. 28 November 2017: I can understand why your uncle might feel a bit unhappy but it is your life and your business. I am happy that you have told your family and I hope all goes well for you. ... (read in full...)
Is this the right person to hang out with?
Q. Should I go back to hanging out with this friends - I had a friend that stopped talking to me because I called her out on her actions. One of my colleagues and I started having out and became friends - it’s a new friendship and within three months ...
A. 28 November 2017: I don't think she values you as a friend and I think you would be in a much better position if you choose different friends. Not having any other friends might mean that you don't put yourself out there enough and meet new people. Personally I would ... (read in full...)
Where do you go to meet momen?
Q. I still don't get where a guy is supposed to try and meet single women. Why is it so hard at my age? Everyone says that gym is a bad idea.. the bar is a bad idea, workplace is off limits, etc. You can't approach a woman at the park because you will ...
A. 28 November 2017: I don't find chatting up women in pubs and clubs a bad idea, that is how I met my husband. Also what are your interests? What do you like to do? If you explain more off them then maybe I could help more. But in Irish society it is often true that ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my son she's cheating?
Q. My son's wife is cheating on him. Both she and my son are 29 and have been together for just over 9 years. I received an e-mail about 4 years ago from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 or 6 years w...
A. 28 November 2017: I really don't understand as a mother how you could hide this from him, I would be devastated if I was your son.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has hooked up with his best friend?
Q. I've been dating this guy, and we are crazy about each other. The only thing I'm a little uncomfortable with is the fact that his best friend is someone he's had strong feelings for and hooked up with in the past. plot twist: she is a lesbian. I ...
A. 28 November 2017: Well if it is always on the back off your mind I would tell him. He has hooked up with this lady so its gone past friendship but for whatever reason he does not want to let her go. That would worry me. ... (read in full...)
Mr Nice Guy is perfect for me but why do I feel something is missing?
Q. I have a history of dating unavailable, cheating, lying, game playing men. In fact when I look back I've only ever had one healthy relationship that I ended up pushing away with my own actions. This guy is amazing! I am insanely attracted to him...
A. 17 November 2017: I think you should take a chance with this guy, I mean come on what is the worst that could happen? Six months down the line and you feel bored with him then you can look back and say well you gave it your all you tried but you are not for each ... (read in full...)
How to deal with a more sexually experienced partner?
Q. I'm a male virgin who's never kissed a girl or been on a date. I'm not particularly handsome either and I am obese. I will be visiting an escort in a few weeks to lose my virginity. Finally I'll get to feel what intimacy is like. However I've b...
A. 17 November 2017: Believe me visiting an escort will not teach you anything about intimacy, because all she will be doing is her job for a price tag. If being obese is making you uncomfortable then why not change that? Get more active and eat more healthy, am sure ... (read in full...)
Does this guy who works with the man I'm sleeping with like me?
Q. Hello, I'm going to make this question as quick as possible haha! About 8 months ago, I got involved with my boss. He has just quit the company the day we slept together, so technically he wasn't my boss anymore that night, but you get t...
A. 17 November 2017: If you are not interested in the new guy then just let him down gently. If you are wanting to start dating then you should stop having sex with the boss. I mean I don't think it would matter if you went on a date and the boss found out anyway ... (read in full...)
What is he doing? His last text said he still wants me but that was November third!
Q. hi i am seeing a man, don't what sort of relationship it is but hes not text me in 2 weeks and not seen me in 2 months now, i did text him 2 weeks ago asking whats going on my text to him was " how are you ive not heard off you in weeks how can yo...
A. 17 November 2017: Even if he was in hospital he still could have sent you a message. Sorry OP but I don't buy his crap at all. He sounds like he is stringing you along. Block him from being able to contact you and move on and be with someone who makes the effort. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has hooked up with his best friend?
Q. I've been dating this guy, and we are crazy about each other. The only thing I'm a little uncomfortable with is the fact that his best friend is someone he's had strong feelings for and hooked up with in the past. plot twist: she is a lesbian. I ...
A. 17 November 2017: Your boyfriend obviously has more romantic feelings towards her than she does for him. She is attracted to other females and well for whatever reason your boyfriend has decided to keep her in his life as a friend. I know personally I would feel ... (read in full...)
What did you do when you found your partner was watching porn and not having sex with you?
Q. Hiya I've been with my fiance for 4 years we have a 2 year old daughter together last weekend I caught him watching porn on his phone it wouldn't have bothered me so much but the last few months our sex life has been once a month so I was hurt when ...
A. 17 November 2017: The best thing to do here is to communicate with each other. Talk to him and tell him how this has made you feel, but also sit and listen to him and ask him how he feels. It might just be the fact that communication has broke down so remember to ... (read in full...)
Help me find my way out of these abusive traps
Q. I am in a 16-year-relationship that became sexless and violent, abusive. I was thrown out the house in middle of night. I left and he wants me back. While away I met another man who I fell in love with and been seeing for a year this man seems quite ...
A. 16 November 2017: If you are to scared to live alone the what is going to happen is you are going to settle for a man who treats you wrong and try your best and be happy with abuse and control. I know I would be much happier on my own than living this kind off life, ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my son she's cheating?
Q. My son's wife is cheating on him. Both she and my son are 29 and have been together for just over 9 years. I received an e-mail about 4 years ago from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 or 6 years w...
A. 1 November 2017: I honestly am shocked you could keep this from your son for four years. My guess is when he finds out not only is he going to be heartbroken but he is going to feel betrayed by his own mother. The poor man deserves to know the truth, and as your son ... (read in full...)
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