A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 10 months just told me he was kissed by a gay guy at a party I wasn't able to attend, and also told me he thinks he might be bi now. I'm just wondering if other people consider this cheating. I'm pretty uncomfortable with the whole situation and feel like somethings different between us... But I don't want to lose him Reply to this Question
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female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (2 November 2017):
 He shouldn't have done it and it's plain wrong!
He knew what he was doing & i'm sure and he wanted to let you know what happened for a reason.
What you do with this knowledge now, is totally up to you, however, i'd assume that most people within a monogamous relationship wouldn't appreciate nor tolerate this behaviour.
He betrayed you, plain and simple!
If you choose to stick around, be very prepared that he'll most likely do it again, as he's admitted to liking it, by way of admitting that he may be bi now.
This is his way of telling you, i was unfaithful to you, i actually enjoyed the kiss from this other guy and actually, i enjoyed it so much, that i'm now thinking i may be bi.
Think about that and do something about it.
Either he change his ways, or if he can't and you can't tolerate/handle that, then you break up with him and find somebody better.
Someone who is faithful.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 October 2017):
 Yes, kissing other people is cheating, regardless of the gender of the person you kissed. In this case though, I would tell him that kissing others is not okay so if he wants to be with you he's not allowed to do that again.
But if he chooses he wants to keep kissing others, then you need to let him go, despite the heartache.
Things aren't really different between you though, relationships have ups and downs and bumps. Things can go back to how they were before, but you need to experience this side of relationships also.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 October 2017):
 Off course kissing someone else is cheating. The best thing you can do is finish with him before you get hurt. If he was bisexual then he should have been honest with you and not cheated on you. It doesn't matter that it was with a man, in fact some people would think that was worse. You should never allow someone to cheat on you and remain in a relationship, he needs to know that the way he has treated you is not fair.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (24 October 2017):
 Wait, before we condemn him as a cheater, it depends on the situation.
If the guy kissed him, without any flirting/encouragement, and your boyfriend pulled away, it's not cheating because he didn't cause it or keep it going.
However, if he flirted, encouraged or continued the kiss, then yes, it's cheating. Being bisexual doesn't mean someone will cheat, but you need to understand the situation that lead to the kiss. Bisexuals can absolutely be monogamous, but some people use it as an excuse to cheat.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (24 October 2017):
 "I think I might be bi" means "I was sexually turned on by making out with someone who wasn't you".
I wouldn't care if he's "bi", and quite frankly, that's an insult to bisexuals to suggest that BEING bisexual means that you can't be faithful to a partner. He has been attracted to other men before he kissed this guy, and he just cheated on you.
Had it been with another girl, like everyone else correctly pointed out, then this would be a no-brainer.
It's STILL a no-brainer! YOu're not his sex therapist or Mother Confessor. You're the partner he just cheated on and blamed on sexual orientation, which I think is pretty damn homophobic if you ask me!
If you stay with him, prepare to be with a guy who skillfully conceals a double life from you and others.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2017): Of course it's cheating! Why on earth would it not be?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 October 2017):
 Yep, I'm with Cindy.
If kissing a girl is cheating in your book, so is kissing a boy.
Personally? I'd end it and wish him luck in working out what he really wants. He is using the "I think I'm bi" as an excuse. If he says that... then maybe he can convince you it wasn't REALLY cheating.
I seriously doubt that the "gay" guy FORCED him to kiss. He was an eager participant.
And maybe he IS curious about his sexuality, so what? Either a person in a relationship is faithful OR they are not.
You don't "want" to lose him, but he let himself "go" with another person.
Of course, things are different now. He might have realized that experimenting with dudes is another option.
It's definitely not uncommon for older teen and young adults to come to a realization about their sexuality. Maybe start out with the "norm" setting (at least in their minds) that they are straight. Because that is "what" people do. (in general) And then they realize hmmm, maybe I'm not "totally" straight. Given that this age group also have "fun" with hormones - it's not so strange if they want to test their limits, sexually and otherwise. Not saying that all do this or that you should just "accept" that he kissed a guy. What I AM saying is that his behavior is not that strange for your age group - and since being faithful seems to be less and less in vogue these days... Maybe he thinks he can get the best of BOTH worlds... you... and experimenting with dudes.
This is up to you. Do you really WANT to date a guy who has no qualms about kissing other people at parties you don't attend? In what world is that OK? Would you go kiss other guys or girls at parties IF he can't attend? My guess is no, SO why is it OK for him to do?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 October 2017):
 Would you consider it cheating if he had kissed another girl ?
Yes ?
Then it's cheating also if he kisses another guy.
I don't see what the gender of the kissed makes a difference. Whether your bf has kissed a girl, a boy , or a hermaphrodite -- still he has kissed someone who is NOT you, and if you have agreed to be monogamous that us, obviously, breaking the rule of monogamy.
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