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My ex hasn't told me his wife is filing for divorce

Tagged as: Cheating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 October 2017) 10 Answers - (Newest, 25 October 2017)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

I've been seeing ex for some time. Yes, I know it's wrong it's a long story. anyway, his now wife is filing for divorce but he hasn't told me. heard from mutual friend. why would he not mention this?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (25 October 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI do really hope that you are not considering taking him back after all off this. You should never be someone else's second best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2017):

He called me finally. told me she filed for divorce.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2017):

He called me and has told me his wife filed for divorce.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (19 October 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIt could be possible that he has a few mistresses and he is keeping his options open. Or it could mean he just sees you as a fling and doesn't want you getting your hopes up. Either way if you end up in a relationship with him I really don't know how you could trust him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2017):

How do you know he we wasn't going to tell you? Maybe you found out before he had a chance?

I would ask him why directly. But he may not give you a direct answer. That is the problem with married men: They want it all. A wife and a mistress. Doubt he wants to lose either.

As for him cheating on you with another woman, nobody here can say that with certainty. You never know. Every individual is different. A 100 % chance of anything is rare.

It's up to you to decide what you want from this relationship and whether you think he is willing to step up to the plate if you want something more serious.

Talk to him. Just be prepared for wishy washy, beating around the bush married man mumbo jumbo.

They are very good at keeping you strung along.

I would have concerns if he married you. Then I'd always be worried he could cheat on me, being his wife, when the marriage settles down.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (18 October 2017):

YouWish agony auntThis guy is hedging his bets. He's also a MARRIED MAN which makes you a mistress, which makes him a secretive cheater just like every other cheating spouse out there.

He's also not wanting you to make any actual relationship demands on him. If he tells you that she's filing for divorce, he'll worry that you'll see him as being more "available" for commitment when all he really wants is to sleep with you while he compartmentalizes his life.

You DO realize that this is a RED FLAG, and you're being used for sex with a 100% chance of being unceremoniously discarded when he tires of you, right??

He's using you for a penis holster and an ego salve. You're Ms. Right Now. I don't know whether or not he wants to keep his marriage, but he's not interested in progressing with you beyond a "getting laid" tally with a little "simulated girlfriend experience" sweet talk mixed in just to keep you in his bed and off his back.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2017):

maybe he doesn't want the divorce and is trying to make it work.

depending on his personality, honestly, he could just be extremely private. seeing you or not

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (17 October 2017):

Perhaps it is for some other unrelated reason he doesn't want you to be aware of. Or, maybe he's been cheating on his wife and you with yet another woman, or at least has his eye on someone else. Whatever the case, this situation suggests that he is not looking deepen his relationship with you. I wouldn't hesitate to ask him about it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 October 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with Janniepeg,

He is looking out for himself here. IF he was looking to make something out of the sex he has with you (aka a relationship) HE would have been the one filing for divorce, before jumping into your bed.

If he is cheating on his wife, with you... at some point, he will cheat on YOU with someone else. That is almost a given.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (17 October 2017):

janniepeg agony auntI would say he's trying to cover up the reason for his divorce, and it has to do with his own wrongdoing besides his cheating. He doesn't want you to know that he's only seeing you because his wife doesn't want him anymore. It would make your rekindling with him much less romantic.

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