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Why is my ex boyfriend still so angry at me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 6 January 2017)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

why is my ex boyfriend still so angry at me? He broke off our relationship six months ago for no reason that I could see.

When I asked him all he could say was that he wanted someone who was the same every day.

Makes no sense as I am always in the same good mood every day. He was always the moody one.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (6 January 2017):

N91 agony auntWho cares?

He's your ex. Leave him to it. If he wasnts to spend his time resenting you when you've done nothing wrong then allow him to.

Move on with your life and stop wondering what you've done wrong.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (5 January 2017):

YouWish agony auntAfter 6 months, it's time for you to open the prison door and let yourself out. I agree with Honeypie in this - It's long past time for you to move on from him.

Something in HIM is broken. For whatever reason, he chose to break up with you. You didn't cheat on him or verbally or physically abuse him. You weren't controlling him or smothering him or constantly nagging him.

If he is the moody one, he could be dealing with some sort of depression or mental illness, in which case, he did you a favor by ending it. Oftentimes when I hear of a guy breaking up, trying to make the girl look like the "bad guy", and being purposely vague, it means he's embarrassed by something or trying to cover up for something he did. It could be as serious as cheating and blaming you for his cheating (i.e. the "same" comment was because he was comparing you to someone he was cheating on you with in secret), or as stupid as his impotence, where the guy blames the girl for his erectile dysfunction rather than accepting that it's a medical problem he needs to handle.

But the point is - you will NEVER know. It's time to stop trying to know or get closure. You must be your own closure by cutting off all communication with him. Cut off looking him up online, asking friends about him, block his number, no more calling him or texting him. Everything. Make him dead to you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 January 2017):

Honeypie agony auntAre you still in contact with him? If so... CUT the contact, stop letting him drag you down.

If he is MAD at you, then LET him. You can't change or control how he feels. BUT you can control the contact and how YOU deal with it all.

But CUTTING him off you can move forward and stop trying to figure him out. There is NO point to trying to figure him out. He is an ex and someone you should put in your past.

Focus on YOUR life, YOUR future. Screw him and the horse he rode in on.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (5 January 2017):

Fatherly Advice agony auntWow that was a bad spell correction when I wrote "Breakups are ridicule at any stage" I intended "Breakups are difficult at any stage" Although his comment could be seen as ridicule . . . .

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (5 January 2017):

Fatherly Advice agony auntNot enough information. If it makes you feel better you could believe that he wanted someone else, and had to find an excuse to explain to you that he wanted someone who was different than you. Or that he wanted someone (specific) and it wasn't you.

Breakups are ridicule at any stage. While I generally advise people to believe what others are telling them, I would not (in this specific case) suggest that you change your behavior base on what he said to you. You have already thought about it and are comfortable with your level of stability. You can generally trust yourself, although it is true that we all tend to see ourselves in a good light.

The best thing you can do at this point is to leave him in the past and focus on your happiness and future. The best revenge for a break up is to be happy in your new situation.

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