A
female
age
41-50,
*elpisontheway
writes:hi i am 29 year old woman in love with a man, weve been dating 10 months now and live in different cities, i know this sounds silly but its valentines coming up and i have bought him some lovely presents, i did for his birthday and christmas too,just that he lives in a remote place and claims he can not pick up even a tiny little piece of paper for me. i mean he has the money and he does travel and he ridicules the idea of presents and keeps telling me that it doesnt mean a thing..i know i am not a teen but are some men like this ..i want it to be the perfect first valentines how should i put it across to him..cos ive picked up some great things that i know he will like!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): i would like to add that this guy might just be one of those people who thinks that holidays like valentines day are just another invented celebration, designed to screw money out of the general public, im only 21 and ive talked about more personal stuff with my girlfriend than i ever thought possible but its made things alot easier for the both of us, my suggestion would be to TALK TO HIM ! confront him, ask him how he really feels, get an explanation out of him, explain how you feel. once you've sat and talked to him you should know whether or not he is right for you ....
A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Ok, so has he ever bought you a birthday present? Would it kill him if he had to ..god forbid get his wallet out and buy you a little gift because it would make you happy? Your not expecting him to lavish you with presents,your not a gold digger but I always thought that in the beginning of a relationship,if a guy really liked you or had strong feelings he would WANT to treat you now and again.
There is men that dont believe in valentine's day and thats ok but for him not to get you a birthday present or a xmas present really does sound mean and tight fisted to me.
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A
female
reader, helpisontheway +, writes (3 February 2011):
helpisontheway is verified as being by the original poster of the question Guys, no, he's alright with picking up the tabs, though I have paid at times. He isn't tight fisted that way, but I don't know, looks like he doesn't have a romantic bone in his body..I mean the truth, is a little greeting card or any small gesture would be so lovely! I'm 29 and he's 32. Am I too old to expect cupid and candy? I don't know if I am overreacting.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 February 2011):
 my first husband was like this. never gave me a card or a gift for any holiday or birthday.... it was an indication of his inability to give me other things too.. unconditional love... support, acceptance...
People do not exist in a vacuum... one behavior often impacts or indicates other behaviors.
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (3 February 2011):
This boyfriend of yours is a tight fisted user.You make all the effort to buy him lovely things for his birthday and christmas's yet he gets you sweet FA? I bet his arse squeaks everytime he walks by....and I bet when its his round at a pub he makes a quick exit out the door...he is a joke.I agree with Caring Guy...he is using you, dump him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): Hi there, it isn't silly at all. I have the same thing going through my mind. I have been with my guy for 5 months and it's my birthday this sunday. He has asked me when it is, but I know he has forgotten, and I am seething! I will wait until Valentines (as I have gotten him some gifts) .... then he is sooo dumped if he doesnt 'put out'. A card or even just acknowledgement should be enough. Your man can get on the internet and send you some flowers or something, I don't think there is any excuse. Good luck to you, I hope he gets you something really nice, you derserve to feel special. x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 February 2011):
To me, this guy sounds like a bit of a cheap-stake. I'm not exactly a 'present' person, but I know that presents do have meanings for people. So I would never stop buying presents just because I'm not so keen on them. To me, you seem to be putting a lot of effort into a guy who basically turns up, then goes away. I know you want this valentine's to be perfect, but you might be setting yourself up for a big fall here. I think you're seeing this guy through rose tinted glasses - you need to open your mind up a bit more and really look at his behaviour towards you. He sounds like he's just using you at his pleasure and little else.
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