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*rafter

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My sister has been diagnosed with cancer and I'm wishing for a X-mas miracle.

Q.   my sister is 16 and has recently been diagnosed with cancer and she is really sick. im soo worried about her because she like my best friend and i dont know what i would do with out her. the doctors say she will be in hospital on christmas day. i ...

A.   19 December 2008: Sorry. It's not impossible for a cancer to go into remission, but chances are rather slim. Don't loose hope though. Miracles do happen every now and then. I've seen it.... (read in full...)

I really like my boy friend, but it would be weird if we went out!!

Q.   me and this guy i really like were walking and the bell had just rung and we were going to our classroom and there was a charity gig on in the great hall and we look in on the balcony and there was this teacher band and it was a really romantic song ...

A.   19 December 2008: OmG, that is so cuuute!!!!111oneone!11!eleven! But seriously: I think you're stuck with waiting. Especially considering the fact that he's friend was your ex. It's tad complicated. Try to be more flirty though. Get some physical contact goi... (read in full...)

Why the heck is he calling me "buddy"?!?

Q.   Ok, so I've known this guy since May of this year..met him thru an online dating site. At the time I was starting a new relationship, so I just saw it as friends. We get along just great and have so many things in common. After the break-up we went ...

A.   19 December 2008: Oh, come on. Maybe if he spells your name with capital letter in the text messages, he has hairy feet? Instead of trying to read into signs, look at the HUGE picture - he asked you out on a date. Twice at that. How much more obvious can it get, ... (read in full...)

Guys view on what girls they chose as girlfriends

Q.   are a girl's physical looks very important to guys and how he chooses a girl? ugly ,fat girl= great personality? or gorgeous ,slim girl = rotten personality what do you think lads?...

A.   19 December 2008: Yes, like of on the previous answer stated: Looks give you the firs ten minutes, but then you'll need to present something more than blue eyes and long legs. Just about any girl can look pretty if she spends some beauty time. But if you carry no... (read in full...)

Do men like getting texts from women and can she text too much?

Q.   One for the guys:- Do men like being texted by women? If so - what sort of messages do you want to hear and can a woman text too much?...

A.   19 December 2008: Sure we do. "Dinner is ready" ;"I've lost my voice" ;"I think mom will never come here again" ;"Pride & Prejudice is over :( " But, I wouldn't suggest to overdo the texting. It can get annoying especially if you don't have important informat... (read in full...)

After everything she has done to me is it worth trying to be with her or am I flogging a dead horse?

Q.   Hi everyone, this is my first question on here. And I'm using this service because I am in complete bits over recent events with my ex-girlfriend. I am 30 years old, am in a top job at a top bank in Canary Wharf, London. Career is going brilliantl...

A.   19 December 2008: Good for you, buddy. I'm happy to hear you're rid of her. It will be tough at first, but it gets better with time. All the best!... (read in full...)

Is boob play and hand jobs considered cheating?

Q.   hi my best guy friend and I have been fooling around, for example he will feel my boobs and i am going to give him a hand job it is just fun between the two of us my questions are 1) how much do you think i mean to him? 2) is he cheating...

A.   18 December 2008: Do you really? If you did, shouldn't you stop doing it? What do you expect to read here? "Sure, it's fine. Knock yourself out". If you're looking for judgment then you better be ready to take it. Just a thought...... (read in full...)

Why can't I forget about this man?

Q.   I need your advce guys, I met a guy in 2006 while I was in my second last year at uni, he was working as a legal adviser and some how we liked each other, he use to call me almost 5 times a week, we use to meet mostly at night because I was doing ...

A.   18 December 2008: Wait, wait. You've been meeting for several months, you had sex once and then he asked you to get pregnant? Yeah, I totally love him too now. Perhaps you should reconsider the whole situation. Especially the part where he left and never called... (read in full...)

How can I stop thinking about my coworker, when I like her more and more?

Q.   hi, well where to start. i really like this girl at work, and i'm not sure if likes me back. we are quite good friends, flirt around, etc. however, i don't really want anything to happen between us because i'm very busy all the time at work, an...

A.   18 December 2008:  She's engaged - end of story. If she had a boyfriend, yeah, it's gray area, but once the ring has snapped you gotta back off. How would you feel if someone tries to snatch your wife? Probably not all that fresh. And if she flirts around (actual ... (read in full...)

I never have the chance to talk to my girlfriend in private because of her friends!...

Q.   Hello I'm a 23 years old guy with a big problem well at least to me ! .. here is the whole story .. i used to go to some uni where i met this amazing beautiful girl whom i liked and loved but the problem is .. she's always with her friends .. our ...

A.   18 December 2008: Hate to burst your bubble here, pal, but you've missed that train. Once a girl asks for your help before you were intimate, you're in her "friends" pocket. I'm not sure you can even get out of there. I never could. And don't give damn excuses... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is away for a week and I'm a mess... how to cope?

Q.   Ok my boyfriend of a few months went to Las Vegas for a friends wedding. He'll be gone a week and I'm losing it! We are still in that see each other 24/7 phase. We never go more than an hour or 2 without getting at least a text from each other. Last ...

A.   18 December 2008: Exactly. He never gave you a reason to be suspicious. And to be honest, it's not healthy to rely on somebody else that much. Try harder to be self sufficient. I'm not saying it will happen, but one day he might leave you and then what? Havin... (read in full...)

My friend is being used for sex

Q.   MY friend need help please....she have a best friend(a boy),they have been in good friendship for 5 years now, one day this boy come into my friends room and they chart until they have sex since that day they been sleeping together for 5 years ...

A.   18 December 2008: Yeah, story of her life, huh? Yet another poor, innocent girl is being used by those mean, mean men. So sad... How is this any of your business anyway? Did she come up to you and told you "Go to the agony aunts and tell them my life is over"? N... (read in full...)

I want my b/f to buy me a Christmas gift

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for a year now, we moved in together 5 months ago and everything is going great. However, I'm from a broken family and have a bad relationship with my father and I think that might be the reason why it is difficult for me ...

A.   18 December 2008:  First off you should know that our brains work (or not that much)a bit different. What may seem important you, he might not even think of. So the present thing could be the last thing on his mind right now and not because he doesn't like you... (read in full...)

I hate rejection - I have a fear of being rejected solely on my looks.

Q.   There is a girl in my History class that I recently became attracted to. We haven't had any prolonged contact besides this year of school. She is sending me some mixed messages that I don't understand. She'll tell me about her personal life and all ...

A.   17 December 2008: I've got a friend and we've known each other for over ten years now. And let me tell you, pal, he is butt ugly. I mean it. I love him with all my heart, but he's just not someone I'd call attractive. Bet get this: he's amazing with the ladies. I ... (read in full...)

My emotions are all over the place after losing my dad last month...

Q.   Last month my dad past away with MS and my emotions are all over the place, if someone starts to get me in a mood I just lose it and my boyfriend said he is there for me but he's not, he thinks evry thing is okay when it's not. I tell him I'm not ...

A.   17 December 2008: I'm sorry that happened to you. I know how it feels to lose a close relative. Not a parent, but still... I think you should give yourself much more time before thinking of going back on track. Death often catches us unprepared. It leaves us dumbf... (read in full...)

Silent treatment after six months of constant contact

Q.   Six months ago I met a man on-line. We e-mailed each other several times a day, talked on the phone constantly and developed a great friendship. Being on different coasts I suppose made it safe for him. He's 43 and has never been married and ...

A.   17 December 2008: That's like me 20 years from now. But on the current topic: Yea, he's definitely breezing out on you. Odds are that it's not even remotely your fault. He's just got problems of his own. Loneliness can do that to people. And as the years pass yo... (read in full...)

Even on meds I'm always stressed!

Q.   why can't i just be happy? i always have to worry about something. i hate it. i'm like a big stress ball. and it wont go away.. i take anxiety medicine from my doctors. but it clearly doesn't work.. my doctors don't know that and my mom doesn't. i ...

A.   17 December 2008: Hah! You're one step closed to solving it. And the painful truth is that anxiety never really goes away completely. You're gonna have to accept that. Once you do, you'll be on your way to recovery. I use to worry way too much. For years I thought ... (read in full...)

Will he forget me?

Q.   Will he forget me? I am involved with a man who lives in another city who has his own life but we ring and meet up from time to time! - The problem is although I am madly in love with him, think of him ALL of the time and keep photos of him n...

A.   17 December 2008: Have you met? Cause if you haven't it's a bit spooky to keep his photo. And to answer your question: No. Most long distance relationships don't last. It's too complicated, time consuming and worthless, because in the end you're here and he's the... (read in full...)

After everything she has done to me is it worth trying to be with her or am I flogging a dead horse?

Q.   Hi everyone, this is my first question on here. And I'm using this service because I am in complete bits over recent events with my ex-girlfriend. I am 30 years old, am in a top job at a top bank in Canary Wharf, London. Career is going brilliantl...

A.   17 December 2008: There are all kinds of freaks out there. And when I say freaks I mean all of us. Nobody is normal by any standards or does what they are supposed to, but I'd still expect to get some love back if I give any. It's okay to be more tough or ... (read in full...)

After everything she has done to me is it worth trying to be with her or am I flogging a dead horse?

Q.   Hi everyone, this is my first question on here. And I'm using this service because I am in complete bits over recent events with my ex-girlfriend. I am 30 years old, am in a top job at a top bank in Canary Wharf, London. Career is going brilliantl...

A.   17 December 2008: Here's an afterthought, Jason - save yourself. Nobody deserves the kind of relationship which robs you of everything and gives nothing in return. I am positive you can do way better for yourself if you can break the cycle and get out of this ... (read in full...)

Bad taste in guys!

Q.   Would a very skinny guy fancy a fat girl? When I am round a very skinny he doesn't want to be seen with or talking or even acknowledge me all because I am heavy and short with a chubby face. I am nice person and I have good taste in jewellery, ...

A.   17 December 2008: If you're worried about your taste in guys then why worry if he likes you? A bit of a contradiction there, huh? My advice: Be who you are, 'cause you couldn't really be anyone else. If he likes you, he likes you. It will show sooner or later. I... (read in full...)

She acts likes she's possessed by a demon during sex!

Q.   Hi guys i have been with my current girlfriend for 2 months now. Things are going great, and we have just started having sexual intercourse recently. The sex is great, but is sort of getting over shadowed by the way her reactions are during. Her ...

A.   16 December 2008: You've got a succubus in your bed and you're complaining? Oh my God, dude! You just killed Kenny. Seriously though. I don't see how she can hurt herself by overreacting. Maybe she just likes to play it rough. ... (read in full...)

Two long distance romances at once.

Q.   in the world there are 2 people i really really have a crush on. but they live so far away. one of the girls is 16, she lives 5/6 hours away by car (but still in england) and the other girl is 16, and lives in New Zealand... and im a 16 year old boy ...

A.   16 December 2008: Yeah, life's pain, dude... well, among other things of course. Let me tell you that I've been there myself and it's not pretty. Actually it is pretty... hopeless. This whole "internet dating" is not all butterflies and sunshine. It's a time bom... (read in full...)

How can I keep my online guy interested. He is not ready to meet yet.

Q.   Hi there all, iv met this guy a month ago on internet, i do like him alot, he lives near me too. jus from talking, i can tell we get on well. we swapped numbers and talk everyday, through sms. And we flirt like crazy. I asked if he wanted meet...

A.   16 December 2008: Can I suggest to actually confront him? Cause being shy is not a personality trait, it's a sickness and the only cure is to fight it. Time won't help him and I know it from my personal experience. You're best bet is to ask him out and tell him... (read in full...)

After everything she has done to me is it worth trying to be with her or am I flogging a dead horse?

Q.   Hi everyone, this is my first question on here. And I'm using this service because I am in complete bits over recent events with my ex-girlfriend. I am 30 years old, am in a top job at a top bank in Canary Wharf, London. Career is going brilliantl...

A.   16 December 2008: That was a long material there, pal. I'm gonna spill a quote from "Good Will Hunting" that went something like "bla-bla it's important if you're perfect for each other". So are you? There comes a time when you should be able to evaluate the ... (read in full...)

What does it take to make a girlfriend or get the number one spot?

Q.   What do guys look for in a girlfriend? Brains, beauty, good physique, sophistication? What do they want?...

A.   16 December 2008: I knew a girl I thought was unattractive, but when I got to know her she suddenly seemed more and more beautiful. At one point I was head over heels for her, but then things messed up. That's not important. What I'm saying is that you can't hide... (read in full...)

Living in somebody's shadow?

Q.   Hey, Have you ever felt like you live in somebody's shadow? Like you're a support beam for someone who's meant to be happy and prosperous and at the same time your one and only purpose in life is to make them feel better? Well, this is just abo...

A.   3 December 2008: Can't I take a pill or something? Anyways... Thanks a million, guys. Pepper27: By what you've written I can tell that you're a very compassionate person and I was sad to read that you're parents never really paid you their respects. Tha... (read in full...)

Why are all men selfish, disrespectful, ignorant bastards??!

Q.   Why are all men selfish, disrespectful, ignorant bastards??! Theyre so nice when they want sumthing then they discard you like a piece of rubbish. They can be the best boyfriend ever but wont think twice about dumping you for another woman and ...

A.   30 October 2008: Great to "read" that, babe. I'm happy for you. Keep us posted.... (read in full...)

Why are all men selfish, disrespectful, ignorant bastards??!

Q.   Why are all men selfish, disrespectful, ignorant bastards??! Theyre so nice when they want sumthing then they discard you like a piece of rubbish. They can be the best boyfriend ever but wont think twice about dumping you for another woman and ...

A.   29 October 2008: Come on now. Just because you've had few unsuccessful relationships, doesn't mean that we're all like that. Yeah, nobody's perfect, but sometimes people just don't match. Besides, you don't want to get me started on women. I've had bad experien... (read in full...)

How can we stop this awkwardness around each other?

Q.   This one girl and I, we've had a complicated past, but we are currently going steady with each other. I am convinced that I'm head over heals over this girl, and am also convinced that she's head over heals of me. Now, a few days ago we had a sor...

A.   29 October 2008: Hey Uhm, let me see if I got this. You're not together, but you both like each other a lot? But if you like each other so much then why the awkwardness? I don't get it. Either way... Maybe back then she didn't feel so connected to you? Or... (read in full...)

How to give a hand job?

Q.   Ok, so not the easiest of questions. I am in my 20's and want to know how to give a hand job as i don't know how and have just recently started dating someone and want to try it out but i am too embarrassed to tell this guy that i don't know how to ...

A.   28 October 2008: Couldn't you just google it? http://sexuality.about.com/od/tipstechniques/ht/give_a_handjob.htm A little tip: the "g" spot is right at the base of the head.... (read in full...)

How to handle crushes on guys 'out of your league'?

Q.   What to do when you have crushes on men that are far above your head and wouldn't like you anyways?...

A.   28 October 2008: Bite down hard and beg it won't last for long. I hate "crushing".... (read in full...)

How do I get more comfortable with sex?

Q.   I am in a new relationship...about 3 months old and my boyfriend is ready to have sex but im not sure that i am ready. I am a virgin...well he penetrated one time and there was some blood but he didnt penetrate again because I was nervous. I can ...

A.   27 October 2008: This may sound a bit primal, but might I suggest alcohol? Have a few glasses of wine just so you can feel more relaxed. I can guarantee it will help. Of course YOU have to be reluctant to the idea of having sex. Otherwise you'll just need to get ... (read in full...)

A virgin male, a girl, and her boyfriend... going mad!

Q.   Hello! First time poster here! This is about, well, two problems really. I’m posting here to get it off my chest because this is never the sort of thing I’d talk about – or at least not all of it – with people I know. OK, first I’ll give you so...

A.   26 October 2008: I'll mail you some stuff, dude. No worries. There is nothing wrong with you that we can't fix. I know it, because I've fighting it too. It's been a busy day today, but I have not forgotten you.... (read in full...)

A virgin male, a girl, and her boyfriend... going mad!

Q.   Hello! First time poster here! This is about, well, two problems really. I’m posting here to get it off my chest because this is never the sort of thing I’d talk about – or at least not all of it – with people I know. OK, first I’ll give you so...

A.   25 October 2008: You, idiot! How could you let her walk all over you?! Seriously, man! Instead of holding it in you, why didn't you tell her? Spit it out! And it's your fault. Putting her on pedestal, thinking she is unreachable and at the same time some morons... (read in full...)

Do I have a trust or control issue here?

Q.   I am still asking myself what went wrong after what seemed to be a perfect 5 year relationship in which we lived together. I was ready to get married, I always have felt that I am a good man. The problem... I couldn't say no, I basically waited o...

A.   23 October 2008: Hey Adam, Let me start by saying that you are insane. Thanks. Obviously you're a very responsible person and I see no reason to torment yourself over a girl. Someone that loves you and cares for you will not let you do all (almost all) of ... (read in full...)

A virgin male, a girl, and her boyfriend... going mad!

Q.   Hello! First time poster here! This is about, well, two problems really. I’m posting here to get it off my chest because this is never the sort of thing I’d talk about – or at least not all of it – with people I know. OK, first I’ll give you so...

A.   19 October 2008: I feel your pain, mate. From where I stand it seems your best bet is to wait. I'm not saying find another, but also be on the look out, ok? By what you've written you appear to be intelligent young man. Combine that with enough amount of confi... (read in full...)

We are having a baby through incest - what can I do?

Q.   To everyone that doesnt understand, this will seem really wrong but i've been in love with my brother (no not step, my actual brother) for the past 2 years after he helped me get over my cheating ex. At the start i thought it was just an admiration ...

A.   19 October 2008: Do not have this baby! Chances are that it will be severely damaged. For all I care, inbreeding should be forbidden by law. Being in love with a family member is not quite acceptable in most social circles, but it's not unheard of either. Havin... (read in full...)

Are they jealous that I was getting all the attention or was I really behaving slutty?

Q.   I went to this party with my girlfriends. There were about 5 guys there that I used to be friends with and havent seen in a long time. I said hi and started drinking and dancing with them, while they were hugging me and flirting with me but I ...

A.   18 October 2008: Don't mean to sound harsh, but I think it was both. Admit it, you were kind of flirty. To me it's personal, because I knew a girl which behaved just like you did (or at least I think so) without giving a damn how much damage she is causing.... (read in full...)

Sometimes when we're kissing he has his eyes closed, which is very odd to me.

Q.   I've been dating a guy for about four months now and I really care about him a lot. He tells me he loves me and I tell him I love him. He's eleven years older than me but I don't think that really matters. I love him. I do have a concern though. ...

A.   17 October 2008: Absolutely with you on the one, Deejuliet. It's rather creepy when you have your eyes open whilst kissing. It's like... well, it's just creepy.... (read in full...)

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