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... Send *eterPan a private message | | | *eterPan's profile:What qualifies me to answer your relationship question? ...I'm human too? Seriously, I'm probably no more qualified than anyone else, but at the same time, I've dated quite a bit... been married and divorced (so I guess I know what *doesn't* work).
Plus, this seemed interesting. At the very least, I know I'm not the only one out there suffering and trying to figure out a path through life... If my experiences can help you from falling into a sinkhole, then all the better, right? :) Also, I get a big kick out of helping my fell-man ..um, woman-kind too ;)
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My girlfriend is overwhelmed by life and is unsure of my love for her! What's best here, space?
Q. My g/f seems unsure of my love for her. Shes overwhelmed by life overall and me, and needs space(but not breaking up). What would be my best bet here? I don't want to give her too much time, I'm afraid that may lead her to think I really don't love ...
A. 8 May 2008: When I read these questions, sometimes I see myself faced with the same situations and problems, then as what would I do? Here's what popped into my head...
Buy a nice arrangement of flowers, vase and all of whatever her favorites are. Bring th... (read in full...)
I think part of the problem is that she doesn't realize that I'm in love with her, or why
Q. My girlfriend seems to have control of the relationship. Lately I've been impatiently waiting on her to call, and anxious all day until that point, while on the other hand, she seems fine without talking as often as we used to. I feel like we're ...
A. 7 May 2008: To me, it kind of sounds like she's got a little self-esteem issue brewing under the surface. That kind of thing can materialize in many ways, but the hardest one to figure out is that "self-fulfilling prophecy" or self-destructing the relationship. ... (read in full...)
He says he needs space once in a while-or is it me?
Q. My boyfriend said he doesnt want to see me 24-7. He says he needs space once in a while. Have I done something wrong? is this a bad sign? ...
A. 7 May 2008: IMO? You probably haven't done anything. It's completely natural for guys to need that "lone wolf" time. We're kind of self-contained types... some more so than others. Plus, sometimes that feeling of being boxed in by a relationship is a little ... (read in full...)
My parents hate her-help!
Q. i have a perfect girlfriend and we have been very happy together for the last two years. she is everything i wanted and i love her more than anything in the world and i know she loves me to. the problem is my parents hate her. she used to live in ...
A. 7 May 2008: Wow... OK, here goes my best shot... In order for this idea to work, I think you're going to have to confront your parents face-to-face (since it seems that they aren't taking your calls any more... which for the record is pretty childish for par... (read in full...)
I feel as though he's having second thoughts about us, is he giving this guy a chance to be with him and pushing me away?
Q. I am gay and in a relationship with someone that i love and care for so much. We have been together for a year. He was married once before to a woman but divorced after she found out that he was sleeping with a guy friend of his. Iam currently livi...
A. 7 May 2008: I agree with mylonelyself. To me, this is a clear cut case of respect... and you're not getting it. I think it's time to cut your losses and move on and find the one that is all that you want... love, respect, honestly...... (read in full...)
He's nervous when he talks to me...why is he acting like this?
Q. For the past year, I've been running into a crush at a local bar. I've known him for a while through a ex-friend (I can't ask my friend about him), but I never sat down and spoke to him. I would always say hi to him, and he would say hi back and ...
A. 7 May 2008: There's no clue why he's acting like this... My first impression, general nervousness? Oh, and he is attracted to you if he's stealing glances, but he may be shy about making that all-important "first move".
It sounds like you need to make it ... (read in full...)
Do you think he will say yes for going to our big dance? Answer fast please!!!!!
Q. I asked a guy out today, to our 8th grade dance and did not get a reply yet. Do you think he will say yes? I am in madly in love with him. I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM...i can't believe it - wow, what a way to get that off my chest. Here are some signs th...
A. 7 May 2008: Yes, yes, yes! Don't waste time here!! Go ask him!!! Why are you still reading this? Call him NOW!!
Good luck!!... (read in full...)
How should I ask a girl out..at night when the stars are out to make it romantic or what? .
Q. Hi people, i just wanted to ask, how should i ask a girl out? Should it be during the day, at night when the stars are out to make it romantic or what? Should i ask out by a note or get a friend to ask her? Please help, i'll appreciate it very muc...
A. 7 May 2008: It may be harder, but directly from you and your mouth is 1000-times better than relaying it through a friend. Yeah, there's a chance you may get shot down, but at the same time, you might not. In either case, it's better to face it.
As far as w... (read in full...)
How do I get my mind off my ex?
Q. I am having trouble getting my ex off my mind. It is strange because we haven't been together in over a year, and I don't feel sad about it anymore, but still I think of him all the time even though we don't talk and I am in a new relationship now. ...
A. 7 May 2008: This is a simple suggestion. To me, it sounds like you need to build new fond memories with your new boyfriend. Go out to dinner, museums, shows... whatever you guys like. The more fond memories you build together, the old ones will simply turn to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend called me a freak! Will I ever have sex?
Q. my penis is 10 inches long and when my girl saw it she left me and called me a freak will i ever have sex...
A. 6 May 2008: Wow... impressed and respectfully clapping
Dude, you've got a problem that most men have wasted good money trying to achieve with creams and pills!
Summer's coming. Sport the Speedo at the local pool and you'll have to scrape them off you as ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always asks my friend to have sex, is he cheating?
Q. my boyfriend always ask my best friend to have sex with him and he told me once that he dont have the desire to have sex with me im a virgin and im not ready so do you think he's cheating should i break up with he evening calls my cousin everyday ...
A. 6 May 2008: I read the first reply and I had to add that I completely agree! Move on! There are a ton of respectable men waiting to see you come walking down the street!... (read in full...)
I don't know who I am anymore...I think I must be depressed!
Q. I believe I am depressed even though this isn't clinically proven. I hurt all the time and I get headaches daily. Today I decided to go for a walk and sat behind a pile of hay for quite some time before I heard a truck, then I ran home. Please help ...
A. 6 May 2008: DO NOT KID AROUND WITH THIS!
You are sounding like you need to take some time, find a therapist and vent your troubles. Having thoughts of death is serious! Please find somebody and talk to them. If you can't get into a doctor, find somebody... (read in full...)
I need space...now he doesn't want me back!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years---we've been through A LOT together (car accident, stolen vehicle, living together for a month, etc) so there is that attachment. Back in October I told him I needed some space---I had a HUGE job commitme...
A. 6 May 2008: In a word: "Wow"...
To give you an answer, yeah it's possible to get things rolling again. If he's just dating around and doesn't have a committed thing going on, I say that it sounds like in the time you were in your space for work, your relation... (read in full...)
I'm too embarrassed to buy a dildo so what do I do?
Q. ok to tell you the truth i masturbate regularly but now its starting to not feel good and im not getting any pleasure from it im too embarrassed and shy to buy a dildo what should i do?...
A. 6 May 2008: I'm guessing that you mean walking into a shop and buying one in person. There has to be a million places to order whatever you want from the internet. Just make sure that they send in discrete packaging... if you're nervous about having it ... (read in full...)
Should we get it on with each other while her fiancee is away?
Q. Hi, I have a kinda tricky situation here...Any advice would be really helpful.. I've got a female friend called Sam...she's 18..We've been great friends for 3 years now and we connect on everything so well. However shes engaged now...and bac...
A. 6 May 2008: You know, somebody's going to get hurt in this... you, Sam or the fiancee in Canada -- I'm not sure who, but that much is sure...
Should you and Sam "do it"? Well, if you do, and you and Sam don't do something about this unrequited love (like co... (read in full...)
I want to gain confidence and lose my virginity?
Q. I haven't been in any relationships, had sex, kissed or even held hands with a girl before. I always get anxious when I talk a girl talks to me let alone when I have to approach a girl. I lack a lot of confidence and am very shy because of this. I ...
A. 6 May 2008: OK, you're right in understanding that you need to work on building your comfort with girls. I'll make the assumption that you must have a female friend that you feel comfortable talking to and hanging with (or a close guy friend has a group that ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'm going to scare him away, how can I stop this before it ruins my relationships?
Q. Hello I really hope someone here can help me. I seem to be suffering from some sort of, abandonment issue of some sort. I mean, I am in a long distance relationship and if my boyfriend doesn't email me or call me for a few days I feel...panic. li...
A. 6 May 2008: OK, I'm going to tell you this because you need to hear it. You have a serious self-esteem issue that seems to be centered on panic and/or fear of abandonment. That seems to have started with your mother and escalated to include past close ... (read in full...)
I love him with all my heart but hes in love with the fake picture of me!
Q. I met this guy and we talked online alot and we got on really well and he said he loved me and i loved him he asked for a picture a few weeks later and then after he saw my picture he didnt want to know he still talked but as friends and he ...
A. 6 May 2008: Wow... now that's a story! I have often wondered if something like this has ever happened to somebody. I guess I know now...
The problem here is no matter how you slice this one up, this will never end pretty. You can't meet him because you look... (read in full...)
She was my best friend before we started dating and I hope we still can be....but
Q. dear cupid. Me and my girlfriend broke up on saturday ( she dumped me) and I just randomly get this strong feeling of sadness and loss......I loved her. I essentially cried when she dumped me. But I thought I was like over the emotional parts of it ...
A. 6 May 2008: If you guys had a solid friendship before you started going out, then I don't see a reason why you still can't maintain a friendship. But, here's a thought for you: since her grandpa died, maybe she needs a close friend that knows her well to help ... (read in full...)
What exactly should I shave/wax to improve my appearance?
Q. This may sound a bit strange, but I am relatively new to the world of sexuality, and decided that this would be a good place to ask this slightly embarresing question (seeing as this is what this site is devoted to). But I'll cut to the chase. The ...
A. 6 May 2008: I'll be the bold one and ask... why are you worried about shaving or waxing anything? Unless you're some young bodybuilder, leave the hair be! Most women love body hair so don't be self-conscious of it. And, I'll pass along the same advice my father ... (read in full...)
How do you know if you're in the "friend zone" with a guy?
Q. how do you know if you're in the friend's zone with a guy?...
A. 5 May 2008: To the first anonymous reply... I agree, except in one particular case: the boy is in that "painfully shy" stage. All the usual signs of interested are a lot less obvious. I would say that if you're interested in this guy, you need to make it a ... (read in full...)
Still in love with my ex, I broke up with him because he had a drinking problem. What do you think?
Q. I am not even sure why I am writing; maybe I just need some kind of assurance toward the situation, but I am still in love with my ex boyfriend with whom I had ended things last May. Even though we had only been dating three months in our long ...
A. 5 May 2008: Have faith... things will work itself out in your favor! ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of trying new sexual positions!
Q. I am afraid to try new sex postions what do i do?...
A. 4 May 2008: I don't understand? What's to fear? You try something new, you like it, you keep doing it... you don't like it, never do it again. I'm sure you head the expression "variety is the spice of life" -- embrace it...
Is the problem that you don't kn... (read in full...)
Is what he's saying normal or not?
Q. I have met a guy through some friends and we were just friendly to begin with. I was interested but I thought he wasn't. Then as I had planned a trip to Greece, I went out the night before my flight and he happened to be there. We just acted ...
A. 4 May 2008: This was a mouthful to get through... but I read the whole thing and I'm gonna try to give some kind of answer.
The first thing I'm wondering is if you are getting a little overly obsessed with this guy. I'm saying that because something like thi... (read in full...)
Still in love with my ex, I broke up with him because he had a drinking problem. What do you think?
Q. I am not even sure why I am writing; maybe I just need some kind of assurance toward the situation, but I am still in love with my ex boyfriend with whom I had ended things last May. Even though we had only been dating three months in our long ...
A. 3 May 2008: Alcoholism is a serious problem. If indeed he is an alcoholic, then I think you made a good choice in breaking it off with this guy. Granted, you may have strong feelings for him, but you've got a lot going against you -- the distance, the fact he's ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin but I told him I wasn't. Will he be able to tell?
Q. theres this guy who i was nearly going out with. i'm a virgin, but for some stupid reason i came up with this story that i wasnt and he believed it. i was just wondering, if i had sex with him, would he be able to tell that i am a virgin or not? ...
A. 3 May 2008: Speaking clinically for a minute, women have a vaginal membrane called a hymen. In the traditional since, a woman is considered a virgin if the hymen hasn't been broken. I don't know if he could tell if you were a virgin on your first sexual ... (read in full...)
I get self-conscious about being loud during sex. Is that wierd?
Q. I am not in a relationship right now but a question has been bugging me since my last boyfriend. Everytime we had sex it's like I tried not to be loud. I guess I was self concious about it. Also I didn't want him to see me pleasuring him. I had to ...
A. 3 May 2008: I'm so sure why you're so concerned about being seen or making noise. Hell, as a guy, I have to tell you... other than having a box seat with blow-by-blow commentary from a sportscaster, your guy is not sure if what he's doing is giving you pleasure ... (read in full...)
Do you think he'll cheat? He has his cell phone off! I don't even know if it counts as cheating!
Q. Me and my BF are kind of on a break... He went out of town and is returning on Saturday. Just before going away yesterday, we fought and he dumped me. I had seen him a few days before. he almost criend when he said he'd miss me. I gave him my...
A. 2 May 2008: Wow... this is a lot to sort out, but I'm going to be bold and give it a shot.
First of all, I really think you're doing too much thinking here. You're racing down a blind alley at 100 mph with no real evidence that he's going to cheat on you... o... (read in full...)
Can't find guys that share my sex fetishes
Q. since I started having sex Ive always been into some wierd fetishes; like facials, anal, smoking fetish, and especially- BDSM. I enjoy pain during sex and many other 'strange' things.... I won't go into details.... but all the guys I end up shagg...
A. 1 May 2008: Since it wasn't suggested, I just toss this into the ring...
Have you created a dating profile on alt.com or bondage.com? It seems that either one of those might hook you up into the local scene... just a suggestion (besides the club/gro... (read in full...)
Does he have an anger management problem?
Q. My husband is normally a loving caring man, but once in a while he looses control of his anger and verbally explodes. He often does this over seemingly small things. It doesn't bother him if our 3 year old daughter is around, or if he is in a publ...
A. 1 May 2008: The first question is "was he like this when you were dating?" If so, then yeah, he's got anger issues...
If this is a recent behavior change then I think there's something else going on here... what? That answer is in his head. A few suggesti... (read in full...)
I've totally lost my trust in her, and we don't seem to communicate. Please help.
Q. I spent some time abroad because of some family issues, nothing to do with my wife. She was very understanding. Whilst I was there, she told me she started talking to somebody on the internet and he was just a friend, so I did not think much of it. ...
A. 1 May 2008: ...this one is kind of tough... yes, it's clearly a trust and deception issue playing out. Other than this "other" guy, are you guys getting along otherwise? Is she avoiding you? If so, it seems like that would be a guilty response.
You'r... (read in full...)
Could it be something more than a crush? I think I'm falling for him...
Q. Hey everyone, i have this huge crush on one of my friends. He is very good looking, has a wonderful personality, and we have a lot in common. Everytime i see him I get a weird feeling in my stomach and i get all tingly. I think about him all the ...
A. 1 May 2008: If you guys are sitting on a couch, cuddling up... I'd say go for it! In fact, stop reading this and go hand out at his place! This the fate knocking on your door! If you two end up in different med schools, you're going to spend the rest of your ... (read in full...)
Should I just be patient and wait for his call?
Q. Hi, I just recently got back from a vacation where i met an absolutly wonderful guy. He wrote me a little letter before we left, and we were romantically involved. He gave me his cell number, even though it went into the ocean and doesn't work. I al...
A. 30 April 2008: Try the cell number he gave you (having his home number might seem a little creepy if he didn't give to you himself, know what I mean?). If the phone isn't working by now, he's probably replaced it. Either you'll get a private line to him and at ... (read in full...)
The bomb my wife has dropped on me was her telling me that she is not sure she is still in love with me!
Q. My wife and I are working out our problems in our marriage. The bomb that she dropped on me was her telling me that she is not sure she is still in love with me, but she still shows me affection, and we still are very intimate. Is she confused or ...
A. 30 April 2008: Opinion 1 -- as a man, you roll up being intimate and having a deep love as one overall emotion.
Opinion 2 -- women see sex and love as two separate distinct things.
So, when you said that you are still intimate with your wife, although she say... (read in full...)
What turns men on when they masturbate?
Q. What do married men think about when masturbating to porn or thinking about another women????? (mod note: this first passage was virtually unintelligble so I have given it my best guess) PLease help??? Do they want the same thing with their ...
A. 30 April 2008: Try this out... it might help to break the ice on a discussion like this. I think I picked this up from Men's Health online articles (if you want to try and search for it).
The summary is that you need a round-about way of opening the lines of... (read in full...)
Is it fair my married lover wants me 100% yet he is still committed to his other life?
Q. My married boyfriend seems to really love me and forsakes his family for me quite often.I feel guilty at times and when i tell him so he really gets angry at me.I know i can never have him 100% so i also keep abit of a distance from him but he ...
A. 30 April 2008: I agree. In this instance, don't bend a bit. Get yourself somebody that isn't obligated to somebody else and will give you the love and affection you deserve with no strings attached!
... (read in full...)
My husband will not stop looking at porn. How can I make him understand?
Q. My husband will not stop looking at porn. i have asked him to stop but he does it behind my back. when i catch him he turns the argument around on me. i am a heavy woman and i am trying to lose weight. it hurts me because i believe he thinks i am ...
A. 30 April 2008: Boy, this is a BIG deal these days. I spent the last day reading blogs on the very topic of husbands/partners being overly absorbed in internet porn. I think that there's something going on between you two... or more direct, there's a lack o... (read in full...)
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