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... Send *eterPan a private message | | | *eterPan's profile:What qualifies me to answer your relationship question? ...I'm human too? Seriously, I'm probably no more qualified than anyone else, but at the same time, I've dated quite a bit... been married and divorced (so I guess I know what *doesn't* work).
Plus, this seemed interesting. At the very least, I know I'm not the only one out there suffering and trying to figure out a path through life... If my experiences can help you from falling into a sinkhole, then all the better, right? :) Also, I get a big kick out of helping my fell-man ..um, woman-kind too ;)
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I'm too scared to tell him about my past in case he doesn't want to see me anymore.
Q. Hi, I married when i was 22 (i'm now 27). I was with the guy for 5 years and we have been separated 3 years now. It was an amicable separation, we just grew apart and were too young I guess and rushed into it. I've started seeing this guy who I r...
A. 16 May 2008: Good deal!! Glad things worked out!!... (read in full...)
We have agreed to take it easy but it's hard when we are together so much. Any advice?
Q. Hi, I have been single for 3 years now and up until now, I had no desire to change that. For the past 4 months I have been hanging out with this guy that I dated 15 years ago, we haven't kissed or even held hands but, have discussed somewhat...
A. 15 May 2008: No courage is needed... just the conviction to speak plainly and openly and be available to accept the happiness to follow!... (read in full...)
Did he lose interest or get scared?
Q. I met this guy (24 yrs old) through a friend. We started dating right away and seemed to really hit it off. He was so funny and outgoing (great to make me laugh), but it took him many dates before he kissed me. (Guess he was shy? didn't seem like ...
A. 14 May 2008: No, you'll probably always have a passing thought of it now and then. Sometimes there are no answers coming no matter how hard you might wish it. I'm sorry but those are the hard facts of being human. Sometimes ex's can be friends... sometimes you ... (read in full...)
I want her to be my wife, not his!
Q. I'm in love with my cousins girlfriend and they are engaiged. I want to tell her how I feel before they get married. I know my cousin will be mad but I can't live without her. what do I do? I know that she still loves me we dated two years ago and ...
A. 14 May 2008: I always try to take on the tough questions... here I go head first!
I think that if you can get a private moment with the old GF/wife-to-be before the ceremony, do it... and fast! Basically, you should just be straight forward and honest with her... (read in full...)
Did he lose interest or get scared?
Q. I met this guy (24 yrs old) through a friend. We started dating right away and seemed to really hit it off. He was so funny and outgoing (great to make me laugh), but it took him many dates before he kissed me. (Guess he was shy? didn't seem like ...
A. 14 May 2008: The first thought that entered my head was the significance of being shy. Walking hand-in-hand with shyness is insecurities... sometimes really minor, sometimes really big, but it's there someplace. In any case, I kind of get the idea that he got ... (read in full...)
Am I falling for him or clinging to him?
Q. I was with my ex for 2 and a half years, and he left me last week. However there was this guy who was there for me and helped me alot.. I think im falling for him, is that possible? or am I just being clingy? ...
A. 14 May 2008: Yes, you could be falling for him, but in my honest opinion, you should wait before making a move. See how you feel in a few weeks. You could be in "bounce back boyfriend" mode and not really be be falling for him. It could be that you're just ... (read in full...)
How much longer should I wait for him to ask me out?
Q. I have been working with this company for 2 years. The man I am extremely interested in is a manager of a different department. He is extremely low key and shares most of my interests. He is funny, smart, quirky and very nerdy. I love that about ...
A. 14 May 2008: Why are you waiting? IMO, if he's not acting himself, then you do it. Ask him out for dinner or lunch or some other activity. Look, most nerds I know are dense. If it doesn't hit them over the head, they may be completely oblivious to your ... (read in full...)
Did he break up with me over sex?
Q. ugh=( heyy everyone! I have been so stressed out lately, you see me and my ex split up about idunno 2 weeks agoish and drama seems to circulate me whereever i go. People have told me that he broke up with me due to me not letting him hit it...He ...
A. 14 May 2008: Unfortunately, yes some people would start dating just to get into somebody else's pants. It's an unfortunate truth.
Now, I think that if this was his goal and you called an end to it, then great for you for standing up on the moral high-gro... (read in full...)
Any tips on how to let the guy at work know I like him?
Q. I like this guy at work. How can I let him know without being too foward or unprofessional? Any tip? I'm super shy around guys. (I've been turned down several times before) ...
A. 14 May 2008: Well. do you have a reason to be working together? A common project maybe? That would work. If that doesn't work, have you considered a "chance encounter" in the company cafeteria? If you're feeling a little more bold, you could suggest an innocent ... (read in full...)
I'm scared I'm going to get hurt again, in this weird situation we're in...
Q. Hi all, I wanted to share my weird situation with you and to maybe get some good advice.. The deal is, me and this girl broke up some months ago, we've been together for almost a year. She couldn't continue seeing me the way it used to be cause...
A. 13 May 2008: OK, first I would say that you need to keep the vision of her boyfriend in your head. I'm big on fidelity as a personal credo. If she separates from this other guy, then make a move. Otherwise, hang with her as much you feel comfortable doing. ... (read in full...)
He's asked me to hang on, but I don't know if he'll ever break up with her!
Q. I am 27 years old, I met this guy 2 months ago, we talk everyday for hours and really like each other. He says he has a girlfriend in another country whom he can't marry for culture reasons and wants me to hang on. I dont know if he will ever break ...
A. 13 May 2008: I'm going to take "like each other" as not meaning "love each other". That said, it seems that you've developed a strong friendship with this guy. My suggestion would be that you should think of this as a deep friendship to spare yourself the ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to fall in love with this woman!
Q. I've been dating this girl for a little over a month. We have this amazing connection, not just physical but intellectually. She's perfect, except for one thing; I can't seem to be able to allow myself to feel more profound feelings for her. I ...
A. 13 May 2008: I often like to fall back on psychology when I answer questions like this. My thoughts here are if something in you makes you pause about creating a deeper connection with this woman, then I would say you should listen to that little voice. I would ... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair which resulted in the other woman falling pregnant. The child is almost due, what is the best way to handle this?
Q. This is complex - and difficult to write about succinctly...I'll give it a go! My husband had a year long affair. He tells me he tried to "end it" many times prior to me finding out - but felt guilty and like he owed the OW something. To make mat...
A. 13 May 2008: After reading you reply, my first thoughts are if you really care about the welfare of both children, I would recommend laying all the cards on the table in front of a child psychologist of some other professional in that vein and ask for their ... (read in full...)
Men, please help me understand my boyfriend's jealousy!
Q. My boyfriend gets jealous when he sees me training another guy on my job. It's still dark out (5:00a.m.) so I understand men think weird things when it's dark, especially when my BF can't see us during this training, but why should he call this guy ...
A. 13 May 2008: I'm going to attempt an answer for you. I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm not the "jealous type" (translation: I could be off on this one).
IMO, your BF has serious jealousy issues because of something floating around in his head... ... (read in full...)
If he does these things does it mean he likes you?
Q. -Stands near you, almost touching -If a part of your body is touching and he doesn't move -His pupils get big when you talk -Supports your ideas -Finds little excuses to touch you (appropriately) -Tease each other -Voice changes sometimes whe...
A. 13 May 2008: In a word, yeah -- it's young teen-age love... if you're interested, go for it!!... (read in full...)
She didn't email when she said she would, what should I make of this?
Q. I met a girl in my guidance class at my college and we have exchanged email to each other last friday. I kind of like this girl and i told her to email me. After 2:00 PM, I did email her about emailing me after 6:00 PM because I was eating my dinner ...
A. 12 May 2008: I think it's WAY TOO soon to be jumping to conclusions here. Do you have any other contact info for her? Address? Cell number? If so, I'd say still remain calm then try her again no earlier than this coming Wednesday. You don't want to come across ... (read in full...)
Can someone please tell me how to trust my boyfriend? He's cheated in the past.
Q. I have really bad trust issuses with my boyfreind, the problem is he has never done anything to betray my trust. My ex boyfreind cheated on me so much and i never found out till we had broken up...Im jsut worride my boyfreind is doing the same. Even ...
A. 12 May 2008: I think that as time goes by, you're going to grow to trust your new boyfriend. The problem is the bad experience you had is seriously haunting your present situation. If there's any way to let this go, it would be to (rightfully) assign the blame ... (read in full...)
Can someone help me understand his behaviour?
Q. I dated a guy (Ulises) July of 2007 to Nov. 2007. We had a really ugly break-up and did not talk to eachother. Until the middle of Feb, 2008. He apologized many times for all the things that he did and the way that we broke up. I had decided to give ...
A. 12 May 2008: Placed in the same situation, I would "cut and run". Wasting another minute on this guy's probably not in your best interests. Don't be friends, don't contact him, don't take his calls... just cut him off and be done with it. Move on to greener ... (read in full...)
Is 21 too young to know if you've found 'The One'?
Q. is 21 too young to know if you have found "the one"? I spent my whole life thinking I didn't believe in marriage, or I didnt want kids. Now I have been in the most amazing relationship for a year and a half and that has all changed. I don't want ...
A. 12 May 2008: I agree -- there are no limitations other than those you put on yourself. If you feel the time is right, then the time is right. If you two have mechanisms in place to deal with issues that come up, great! -- hell you're already ahead of the ball ... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair which resulted in the other woman falling pregnant. The child is almost due, what is the best way to handle this?
Q. This is complex - and difficult to write about succinctly...I'll give it a go! My husband had a year long affair. He tells me he tried to "end it" many times prior to me finding out - but felt guilty and like he owed the OW something. To make mat...
A. 12 May 2008: First, I'm sorry to see that both you and your husband have found yourselves in such a situation. I am sure that both of you are going through a lot of pain right now and I hate hearing about bad news like this.
I agree that the OW would be haunt... (read in full...)
I'm too scared to tell him about my past in case he doesn't want to see me anymore.
Q. Hi, I married when i was 22 (i'm now 27). I was with the guy for 5 years and we have been separated 3 years now. It was an amicable separation, we just grew apart and were too young I guess and rushed into it. I've started seeing this guy who I r...
A. 12 May 2008: Do you have anything in particular you are ashamed of? It doesn't sound like that to me at all. To me, I think you shouldn't be afraid of the past... everyone has one. IMO, you were a bit traumatized by that guy that made a big deal out of it, so I ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure how to give head. Help please?
Q. The past weekend, I was asked to give head, but I'm not sure how to. I really liked the guy who asked me to give him head, but I had to tell him no, becuase I don't really get how to. Help please?...
A. 12 May 2008: Better idea... start with these blog entries...
http://theovereducatednympho.com/2007/03/14/blowjob-part-3-hand-mouth/
http://theovereducatednympho.com/2006/11/22/how-to-give-a-blowjob-the-proper-technique/
Good luck... and have fun!... (read in full...)
I am not sure what is causing these drunken angers towars him...
Q. I am currently 22, 7 months into my first relationship. Things are going great, we have tons of fun together and get along wonderfully. The only problem comes with "going out" to bars and such. I used to go to bars all the time but as of late I ...
A. 12 May 2008: I know somebody that had a similar issue. It's kind of funny, but alcohol effects everyone differently. I've known people to become brutally honest or really shy or gabby when they've had a few too many.
The first suggestion might be to step dow... (read in full...)
He told me the all the other girls he's had sex with, even with out a condom, never got pregnant
Q. Ok...so i'm 15 and my boyfriend is 14, we've known each other and been with each other for a long time...and my boyfriend isn't a virgin. He says he lost it when he was young and has had sex with other girls ever sence...but he wants to have sex ...
A. 12 May 2008: Considering that your sister caught hell for getting pregnant so young, why are you even considering risking the same thing? The other thing is no matter what, if you aren't interested if having a baby of your own, have sex with a condom - plain and ... (read in full...)
Which of the four should I choose?
Q. Okay so this boy loves me, well says he loves me, and he's also my ex. This other boy says he misses me and stuff, which is another ex, and this other kid always says he loves me but we're really close and we hangout alot, and then there's this ...
A. 11 May 2008: Simple and straight forward, I would give the new one a shot for a simple reason: you broke up with the others for some reason. I'm guessing that those reasons are still valid in your mind. Why go back to them and (possibly) experience that all over ... (read in full...)
Unbearable truth....do I move on or wait for a cheater to reform?
Q. I am 38 and my ex gf is 23 going on 24. We had been together for over a year and a half. Chance meeting at a bar and I wasn't looking for someone this young. Firstly, she's geniunely naive, stupid and weak. I slept with her the first night. I had ...
A. 11 May 2008: OK, let me say this right off the bat...
IMO, it is completely possible for people to do a 180-degree shift from where they are into a complete personality make-over. I'm sure you've heard cases of reformed alcoholics and drug abusers... so, it i... (read in full...)
Ok now what?
Q. Ok did I over-react this time? I was ignored by the boyfriend yesterday after I sent him text asking to clarify the some things about us - He NEVER responded from 9am Thursday till 2:30 this Afternoon - He said some people were coming over to watch ...
A. 10 May 2008: Now what? You get yourself a REAL boyfriend... somebody responsible, responsive and reliable! If you were looking for a pat on the back for making the right choice to bail... well, here's your standing ovation! GOOD FOR YOU SEEING THINGS AS THEY ... (read in full...)
He dosen't have any ambition.
Q. I'm scared, to be blunt about it. I've been with my boyfriend now for a year and two months. That might mean nothing to some of you, but it's my longest relationship. We planned on going to college together next year, and all that stuff, but no...
A. 10 May 2008: Hi there... well, that's quite a story! There were a few thoughts I wanted to pass along to you immediately after reading this... First, no matter what you do, do NOT live with this guy if you have even the slightest suspicion that he's going ... (read in full...)
He's changed, what can I do to get him back to how he was?
Q. Hi, Please help I am deeply crazy about my boyfriend, and i know he cares about me too. However he's very jealous and gets angry very quickly, it's the reason why we have been not together. He always comes back, i know he loves me, but why does he ...
A. 10 May 2008: I think I'm going to try and hand off two pieces of advice here... one of which you said you're not interested in hearing...
But first, if your boyfriend is (let's say) ballistic, then there's most likely something else going on. Examples... (read in full...)
Can someone shed some light on my secret fantasy?
Q. okay I am hoping someone can shed some light on my secret fantasy. I am not normally turned on by other women, and have a boyfriend, but sometimes certain women really turn me on (if they are attractive and have the right personality). ...
A. 9 May 2008: I guess I'm going to be the bold one here and try my best to help you...
Personally, I actually don't see the harm in any sexual experimentation at all. If you decide to follow through with your secret fantasies, great! If you decide not to, that... (read in full...)
Why is she taking so long in deciding whether she loves me or not?
Q. Please help me! I've been with this girl for 6 months and I love her, she told me she'll feel the same way soon about me. She's said before that she wants to make sure everything will work between us. I'm doing my best to wait for her to make up h...
A. 9 May 2008: How long have you been waiting? ...and for what? A phone call or some kind of message that she wants to date you? If you've been waiting for a good long time, I'd either remind her that you are waiting for some kind of response or consider it a lost ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend who I still love moved away, and I miss him so much!!
Q. Okay there is this guy at my school who i really like but he moved away. We went out once but not for very long. He is sooo shy. All his friends said he liked me still, but i don't know if it's true. I really miss him. What should i do? I real...
A. 9 May 2008: Why don't you contact him? Do you have a phone number or an email address? If you do, it seems like either the call or an email (and I'd do the email first, if you've got it). I think that would be nice... and even a shy guy can reply to email.
... (read in full...)
Why does he not reply to my messages or call..Is it me?
Q. Ok here goes, since i've been single i've only met men that just want sex. Now i have met a man younger than me that is a sweetheart. He is not afraid of his family and friends meeting me. He lives an hour away from me which is not bad. Ho...
A. 9 May 2008: I kind of think you hit the nail on the head yourself here. Assuming that you are pressuring him, maybe the option of backing off some would help the situation. I know that from my past experience, there's something about being crowded that makes a ... (read in full...)
I know we could have a future but she says only as friends
Q. Before Christmas me and this girl got together. We had known of each other for years and used to see each other on public transport but never knew each other liked each other. Fast forward 7 years and I have come out of a long relationship and am n...
A. 8 May 2008: I know it's all a bit confusing and her noncommittal attitude isn't helping... but have you tried to speak - directly - with her about how you feel and what you see for the two of you? It seems like your desire to be in a committed relationship with ... (read in full...)
Anybody give me any tips on how to back off with the flirting etc without seeming like I'm going cold?
Q. Hi, I started a new job about six months ago and its great. I get on really well with everybody but there is one girl in particular who I've got close to really quickly. We flirt quite a lot at work, and we text each other quite often outside of ...
A. 8 May 2008: The first suggestion might be to speak with her about this. Explain it just as you have here. If she's mature, then she should completely understand. The workplace is a fragile environment. You want to be social and nice with the people you work ... (read in full...)
Suggestions about new positions?
Q. okay i love being on top and missonary just as much as everyone else... but could someone please give me new postions that will keep me on my toes?!??!??!...
A. 8 May 2008: ...cowgirl, reverse cowgirl... the options seem endless!! Take a little time and type in "sexual positions" into Google... then sit back and get creative!!
Now go have fun!!
... (read in full...)
We have agreed to take it easy but it's hard when we are together so much. Any advice?
Q. Hi, I have been single for 3 years now and up until now, I had no desire to change that. For the past 4 months I have been hanging out with this guy that I dated 15 years ago, we haven't kissed or even held hands but, have discussed somewhat...
A. 8 May 2008: Are you two moving at the same speed? From your question, it's not clear if you are the one that might want to step things up or if it's the both of you. In either case though, I think a sit-down, heart-to-heart is what's called for here, don't you? ... (read in full...)
Is it just pillow talk or does my wife really want a threesome?
Q. Hello Over the past few months whenever my wife and i have sex she like to talk about other men, mainly friends of ours. The more she does it, the more it turns me on. she says i perfore better. I have always had a fantesy about seeing her wi...
A. 8 May 2008: Here's something you should probably check out... I came across this today and your question made me remember it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2Hip6b80bk
Granted, they're specifically referring to swinger's lifestyle, but I think the advice... (read in full...)
How am I going to last 6 months without him?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. We see eachother every weekend and only on the weekends because it's somewhat long distance (he lives in NY and I'm in NJ). I love every minute with him, but I miss him so much during the week. I ...
A. 8 May 2008: Here's a suggestion that I didn't see posted. Have you thought about writing him love-letters while he's away? ...yeah, that means backing away from the computer and actually using paper and pen! I'm sure that he can get an address to send things to ... (read in full...)
Young and not sure I want to commit yet
Q. I have dated only one guy for my entire high school career. I love him so much. There isn't really as much of a spark anymore, but we still think of each other in a romantic way and we know each other better than anyone else in the world. It's a ...
A. 8 May 2008: Hi there...
Well, I kind of think that you're right: you are a bit too young to (first of all) be thinking in a long-term relationship kind of thing. There's a whole world full of people you haven't met yet!
My opinion is to follow through w... (read in full...)
I feel his response shows his lack of interest in me. What do you think?
Q. There's this guy who is in one of my classes at university and I kind of like him. He always sits next to me in class and we talk about stuff other then class work. He doesnt talk to any other girls in our class. He asked me to work on a project ...
A. 8 May 2008: Here's my opinion... I really hate cell phones... and I used to design the stupid little things. For me, it's easier to call somebody and speak to them than punch little cryptic messages trying to spell something out from 10 little numbers on a ... (read in full...)
He's fighting for his kids..but then again - is he just keeping me on the side while he sees if it is going to really work with her?
Q. Well i wrote about a week ago with the problem i had with my boyfriend not being honest.. well it just got a little more complicated!! I started seeing my boyfriend about a month after he had filed for divorce.. but him and his wife had been se...
A. 8 May 2008: In a few words, divorce is hell! And that's speaking from experience. A manipulating ex isn't an unheard of thing at all. Unfortunately, it's even harder with children in the middle of this at Ground Zero.
There's a lot of drama you describe... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is overwhelmed by life and is unsure of my love for her! What's best here, space?
Q. My g/f seems unsure of my love for her. Shes overwhelmed by life overall and me, and needs space(but not breaking up). What would be my best bet here? I don't want to give her too much time, I'm afraid that may lead her to think I really don't love ...
A. 8 May 2008: When I read these questions, sometimes I see myself faced with the same situations and problems, then as what would I do? Here's what popped into my head...
Buy a nice arrangement of flowers, vase and all of whatever her favorites are. Bring th... (read in full...)
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