A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend seems to have control of the relationship. Lately I've been impatiently waiting on her to call, and anxious all day until that point, while on the other hand, she seems fine without talking as often as we used to. I feel like we're drifting apart, and so does she but we can't seem to figure out why.(we've talked about it) Is this a result of lack of communication somewhere? We're in a long-distance relationship, but we see each other at least a few days a month and talk everyday. I think part of the problem is that she doesnt realize that I'm in love with her, or why. She always asks why I love her, and either shes just insecure or truely doesn't believe I love her for some reason. Shes beautiful, caring, sweet, true to herself, honest, smart, she makes me laugh, and I'm just happy when we're together, and I've told her this. Maybe I've just been trying too hard? Ugh, I don't know. If anyone has advice, I insist.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): Long distance relationships are tough, talking on the phone, emailing, its just not the same as face to face time. Honestly, my husband has a phone voice that makes me think he's going to take a leap off a bridge at any moment, he's not sad but on the phone he really does sound depressed, everyone thinks so, he's tried to fix his phone voice but it remains so absolutely forlorn. If that was mostly what I had to go on, I probably would've rushed him off to therapy long ago lol The thing is you can tell much in person that's not conveyed electronically and everyone knows actions speak louder than words. Try spending more face time with her, sending her more tangible things via snail mail. Show her how much you love her, its not enough to say it.
I really do think PeterPan has made some excellent points and I agree that what he said is a big possibility.
If you don't love yourself, it makes it almost impossible for you to accept love from another even when its offered up on a silver platter, either you don't think you deserve it or you simply miss the signs altogether b/c Depression alters your perceptions. You really do need to talk to her, in person is the best way. See how she feels about the relationship as is, find out if there's anything troubling her, etc, just really have a good talk.
It may also be she feels the long distance things isn't working or meeting her needs, talk to her about that as well.
A
male
reader, PeterPan + ♥, writes (7 May 2008):
 To me, it kind of sounds like she's got a little self-esteem issue brewing under the surface. That kind of thing can materialize in many ways, but the hardest one to figure out is that "self-fulfilling prophecy" or self-destructing the relationship. I've known people that expect to get dumped (because their low self-esteem is telling them to expect it any minute now) and when it doesn't come along as expected, they start self-sabotaging the relationship to start the process.
So, the solution... well, communication. You've got to get into head and try to figure out what's going on. If she's not willing to share, then I'm not sure what to suggest (assuming that I'm even right in the first place). Again, she might very well realize that you are in love with her, but her internal strife is finding it wrong.
Just my impression. I wish the two of you luck in getting this resolved.
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A
male
reader, binhquangdao +, writes (7 May 2008):
 i've been there and done that. you need to solve the problem and the only way to solve this problem would be to 1. live closer to her and 2. break it off cause she is drifting away due to space and she might see someone else she feels interested in and won't tell you and they won't tell you ever a female will do whatever to protect her feelings even it involves hurting you.
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A
female
reader, Honey Sweet  +, writes (7 May 2008):
 I get the anxious all day thing all the time. She probly think u dnt love her cuz she also feels youre drifting apart. Its a pretty ugly feeling. especially when its a long distance. Youve got to try and spend more time together. or maybe this is an early and painful sign to let go.I hope this has helped.
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