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... Send *eterPan a private message | | | *eterPan's profile:What qualifies me to answer your relationship question? ...I'm human too? Seriously, I'm probably no more qualified than anyone else, but at the same time, I've dated quite a bit... been married and divorced (so I guess I know what *doesn't* work).
Plus, this seemed interesting. At the very least, I know I'm not the only one out there suffering and trying to figure out a path through life... If my experiences can help you from falling into a sinkhole, then all the better, right? :) Also, I get a big kick out of helping my fell-man ..um, woman-kind too ;)
"The request lines are now open!..." (that's Cheech and Chong)
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Is it wrong that I like to "tease" guys?
Q. I don't really like to hook up with boys any more but I like to have fun and the attention they give me. At parties, I dance and flirt with guys all the time and they think they will have sex with me but I don't even give them a kiss. Is it wrong to ...
A. 14 January 2009: Teasing... good... excessively flirting without ever intending to follow through? ...not so good. I suppose that the first thought (warning?) that comes to mind is that old saying: "What comes around, goes around." One day you may find yourself on ... (read in full...)
His confession is haunting me!
Q. I'm not sure why I'm so upset and whether or not I should be. Little background info: I've been married for 3 years (we've been together for 6). We share common interests (the same profession, passion for diving, love for animals, we have two cats ...
A. 13 January 2009: First, on the dream thing... I came across this site and used it to pick apart a dream that I didn't understand. Maybe it might help the both of you to better understand that dream:
http://www.dreammoods.com/
Second... and I don't mean this ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with her or should I forgive her again?
Q. hallo, I'm kind of confused. I have a gal for four years now and it seems each year, she has an affair and call me lucky but I always find out about it. well, now it's a couple of weeks into the year and I happen to have the password to her email ...
A. 9 January 2009: I definitely think it's time to cut her loose. It's obvious that she's not as committed to you as you seem to be to her. Simply forgetting that this is your girlfriend for a moment, would you be as forgiving with a friend (of either sex) if they ... (read in full...)
I think in order to help her get over this argument I need to gain her trust again.
Q. Me and my girlfriend have got on great until a few days ago, she hasn't long gone on holiday abroad to Madeira for new years with a friend and her friend's family. In the middle of the week we had a huge argument and she claimed I'd been off with ...
A. 4 January 2009: I've read this twice, but I'm assuming there's a lot missing here. I don't see where the trust issue was violated... I'm guessing that's in the details of your discussions together... no matter ...and I'm not so sure that it's completely a trust ... (read in full...)
How can I make it up to her?
Q. My girlfriend, Sydney (of four years) is mad at me because I forgot her birthday (again I did it to her last year as well). This time she let me gave it and ended sleeping at a friend's house. To matters worse when I called her to apologize and ask ...
A. 1 January 2009: I'm going to say this again -- you're a lucky camper... now PLEASE!! Get that calendar account so you never forget another important date again!!... (read in full...)
Found explicit pictures while snooping on his computer!
Q. My fiance moved in a few months ago. I was snooping around on his computer and found several explicit pictures of him with other women.I am ticked off! I really didn't need to see any of that! They were is a hidden file created a few days after ...
A. 31 December 2008: You've opened a big can of worms here. Technically, you're between a rock and a hard place...
"Honey, I found scandalous pictures of you!"
...Really? Where?
"On your computer in a hidden file folder"
...hmm, so you are going to accuse me o... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he won't be 'in love' with me. Is 4 months long enough to tell?
Q. so i've been dating a new guy since my last relationship ended horribly. he's wonderful- older than me by a few years but he cares for me and shows it very often. we've been together for about 4 months- i have issues with trust and he has been ...
A. 31 December 2008: I get good vibes from what you've said here... and I can also see that since both of you have been burned in the past, both of you are taking cautious steps... this is all good, but don't let your past fears limit your future happiness! Moving 3000+ ... (read in full...)
I'm so depressed in my marriage, I don't even want to wake up in the morning...
Q. Im 18yrs old and i just got married about 3 months ago. I find myself becoming more and more depressed, i dont even wanna wake up in the morning. I started feeling this way about 2months ago, its makes me wonder if its bc i wasnt ready to get ...
A. 31 December 2008: I think you're on the right track here -- an affair is definitely not going to help you at all. At the same time, fears of facing your husband the next morning isn't helping either. I agree with the counseling... definitely agree with trying to ... (read in full...)
How can I make it up to her?
Q. My girlfriend, Sydney (of four years) is mad at me because I forgot her birthday (again I did it to her last year as well). This time she let me gave it and ended sleeping at a friend's house. To matters worse when I called her to apologize and ask ...
A. 31 December 2008: ...oh man! Let me just say this first... there are probably three things that women around the world really hate... and you jumped squarely on two of them, back-to-back I might add -- forgetting her name and forgetting her birthday... actually ... (read in full...)
I need some pointers on how to make my marriage strong again.
Q. I have quite a long story to tell here and I hope it's not too long. I am a happily married man of 37 (wife is 36). We have been together since high school. We always got along great! We also have an 11 year old daughter together. About 3 years ag...
A. 24 December 2008: I had two ideas -- one you can act on today and the other with some planning. The first one is to go to the closest local bookstore and look for books by John Gray. He wrote the now famous "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" book and series. ... (read in full...)
He says the relationship is one sided and I need to prove to him that I love him...
Q. My name is Sam and me and my boyfriend had one of the best relationships ever and then I had to move to another country and we continued it through long distance. Then because of my work schedule I stopped remembering things I was supposed to at ...
A. 23 December 2008: Send me a private message... let's deal with this offline...
... (read in full...)
I know he's shy, do you think I should call him?
Q. Hello everyone, well I've known this guy for about a year and even though we like each other and have great chemistry we're just friends. A week ago his friend sent me a message on facebook telling me he was wondering why haven't I called him yet, ...
A. 18 December 2008: Why not? Grab destiny and give it a little push in the right direction!! ... (read in full...)
We split up, he got married, he calls and wants to get together, I still love him, why?
Q. I feel like I am in limbo. I am still in love with my ex boyfriend who I split up with 3 years ago. He met somone else soon after we split up and he is now married to her. I thought I would soon move on and find someone else but I realised I havn't ...
A. 17 December 2008: First, ask him kindly to loose your number... if he still calls, have the number changed. I think that he's stunting your ability to move on from "what was" to a better, happier you. Calling you while he's still married suggests to me he's trying to ... (read in full...)
He says the relationship is one sided and I need to prove to him that I love him...
Q. My name is Sam and me and my boyfriend had one of the best relationships ever and then I had to move to another country and we continued it through long distance. Then because of my work schedule I stopped remembering things I was supposed to at ...
A. 17 December 2008: Sam can you see that he's putting you through Hell needlessly? He seems only concerned with his needs and what will satisfy them ...over and above the pain you're feeling. Again, if you are feeling stifled in telling him how you truly feel, that ... (read in full...)
He says the relationship is one sided and I need to prove to him that I love him...
Q. My name is Sam and me and my boyfriend had one of the best relationships ever and then I had to move to another country and we continued it through long distance. Then because of my work schedule I stopped remembering things I was supposed to at ...
A. 16 December 2008: I have to share with you my first thoughts reading this... my first impression was "get another boyfriend". One of the key elements in any intimate relationship is trust. To me, it sounds like your current boyfriend has very little (if any at all) ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain phone sex please?
Q. My Bf asked me if i wanted to have Phone sex later tonight. I said no politly, not really wanting to ask, and have him laugh. All my friends do, and ugh! what is it?...
A. 13 December 2008: Fast answer?
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/sex/steamy-connection
In general, phone sex is the art of seduction with words and descriptions... it can be tremendous fun! ... (read in full...)
I'm having lunch with a guy friend I really like. How should I act?
Q. I'm having a lunch "date" with a really good friend of mine in a couple of weeks. We haven't seen each other in over four months. We get along great and we talk and laugh a lot and frankly enjoy each other's company. We email frequently and also ...
A. 12 December 2008: First the movie -- why not? Go for it! I would recommend something that's more in line with the mood you want to set -- something romantic (or at least not as explosive as the new James Bond movie).
As far as flirting at lunch without being ov... (read in full...)
What causes some people to be unintentionally so hurtful?
Q. I thank in advance anyone who helps here. My question involves a co-worker. This is not a clear cut case of a nasty co-worker. I am a consultant and work with this woman once a week as I work in other offices as well. She seems a very real person ...
A. 12 December 2008: It's been my experience that people like that have "something to prove" ...mostly to themselves. They have this kind odd *something* about them at all times. It's like they keep everyone and everything at a distance and the abrasive attitude just ... (read in full...)
My rational side tells me to run away from my married boss, but my emotions say something else!
Q. i am 18 years old and i am absolutly head over heels in love with my 30 year old boss, and yes, the feeling is mutual. the problem is he is married with two young children. now, the rational side of me is telling me to run away from this...
A. 9 December 2008: Wow... well, feel some comfort in the fact you are not the first to have this problem, that's for sure. The best advice here is to tread lightly and so very carefully! Believe it or not, it's not the age difference that gives me cause to worry... ... (read in full...)
I like him but he won't ask me out, do I wait for him or take the other opportunity?
Q. Ok I really really like this guy and I'm sure he likes me but he won't ask me out.his friends told me that he's making the transition from player and boy to manhood he also told me to patient. its hard because I'm starting to get to know this really ...
A. 8 December 2008: Not to be flippant, but is there anything wrong with asking him out first rather than waiting and wondering? You don't have to be blunt or direct -- just suggest an event or get tickets to something (other than anything sports related). If he says, ... (read in full...)
We are scheduled to get married, do you think we are ready?
Q. my fiance just got back from iraq. he had been there a year. when he left we had been fighting and had been seperated. he came back 10 days before he left for iraq when our son was born. he is back but now wants to pretend like he never left me when ...
A. 8 December 2008: Lessons learned from my life -- if you aren't 100% sure you are ready to get married, then don't... it's that simple. But, if you and your BF are interested in getting married, I would seriously recommend couples classes (private or through a church ... (read in full...)
Should I send him a birthday message? Will he think I haven't moved on?
Q. Should I send him a birthday message? He broke up with me saying he wasn't in love with me. It hasn't been too long and I don't talk to him. I don't want him to think that I didn't move on but I don't want to be rude either. Maybe a late message?...
A. 8 December 2008: Hmm... having been on the receiving side of this, an ex-GF sending me birthday email messages... I would recommend letting this birthday slide by unrecognized, especially if you're already not communicating at all with each other right now. An ... (read in full...)
How can I find out if I'm allowed to have a girlfriend?
Q. hello this is mostly for teens or parents i really like this girl and we want to go out but i dont know if i am aloud or not can someone please tell me how i can find out if im aloud to have a girl friend without straight out asking if i am aloud ...
A. 3 December 2008: I'm sorry -- I'm not a teen, but I feel compelled to answer here... if the age you've given is correct, who would prevent you from having a girlfriend? You're an adult and can make your own choices and decisions... It seems like you wouldn't need to ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he want me living with him full time?
Q. my boyfriend said he didnt want anyone to live with him full time right now. but for some odd reason we are living together right now what gives?...
A. 3 December 2008: Maybe I'm tired... but I'm not getting this, so I'll ask -- are you saying that you're currently living together right now, but he's come out and told you that he doesn't want to live with anyone (relationship or roommate) right now... did I get ... (read in full...)
Can't get pregnant but they have been trying....
Q. Hello everyone. I need some advice. My friend has been trying to get pregnant since August. she's 22 in a stable relationship (engaged) and is financially stable. Both she and her boyfriend even purchased a house instead of planning a large fancy ...
A. 3 December 2008: Since your friend and her BF have been to a doctor, then I'm sure they're aware that there are times in her cycle where she's got "the best odds" of getting pregnant. If she isn't leveraging those times, then maybe she should... but I have a better ... (read in full...)
Will he talk to me again or now ignore me?
Q. Im not sure what to do! Theres this guy Ive been hanging out with for a while. He had a thing for me and we fooled around last year but ended up sleeping with/talking to 2 other girls at the same time. Over summer, he liked one girl, then jumpe...
A. 3 December 2008: ...um, so how long has it been since you two hooked up and now? Have you tried to talk to him since? "Talk to you later" is such a non-committal thing to say, but to me I wouldn't read too much into it...
Look, to me, if you want to speak with him... (read in full...)
Is it okay to like someone who's older than you?
Q. is it right for you to like someone thats older then u? i am 13 and i have been going out with an 16 year old guy. i dont see anything wrong with it we love each other is it right?...
A. 26 November 2008: I'm not seeing a problem with this... unless you are! :) Three years isn't a big age difference at all...... (read in full...)
Can you sue for emotional and financal abuse?
Q. I was in a relationship with a man who is a narcissist. Abused me and my mother financially. Very emotionally abusive. My question is, Can you sue for emotional and financial abuse? We have proof. Thanks...
A. 26 November 2008: It seems like you can sue for anything these days... the best advice is to speak with a lawyer and see if you've got a case. Spell out the whole thing for the lawyer and they will tell you if they think there's a possibility of winning or not. It ... (read in full...)
I feel awful for having retaliated at my violent girlfriend!
Q. Hi guys, Ok here goes my girl is violent she attacks me and pushes me and even pullled a knife on me once this has been going on for at least 8 months and tonight she attacked me. she slapped me at least 4 times and started pushing me and t...
A. 26 November 2008: Let me give this a shot... Let me say this -- getting out a of an abusive relationship is CLEARLY the best -- be it a man or a woman! Call this dead and gone... and move on...
Regarding you and your fears for the future, let me say this: if you a... (read in full...)
Should I confess my feelings to my ex when I have a BF?
Q. should i tell my ex i still love him even though i have a boyfriend?...
A. 25 November 2008: ...well, that depends... are you trying to win him back or are you and your current BF having "issues" and the old BF seems like a better choice? ...or even that you want to simply let it be known that you still care for him? No matter what your ... (read in full...)
Since he's given up porn he's given up giving me orgasms!
Q. the last few times i've had sex with my boyfriend (i have initiated it) i have felt objectified. one of those times we were engaged in mutual oral sex. when he came, i was close, but he stopped cunnilingus and penetrated me (even though he was ...
A. 17 November 2008: So here's the first question that pops to mind... if you are the initiator of your sexual encounters and you're expecting to be taken to an orgasm because of it, does he know that? In short, have you shared your expectations with him? If he's not ... (read in full...)
He lied about watching porn for 3 years. Should I dump him??
Q. My boyfriend have been together for nearly three years. The topic of porn is something that has come up in our conversations before and he knows it is something I really do not approve of. I found out back in June that he has been watching porn ...
A. 11 November 2008: For the sake of argument, I'm going to assume that your boyfriend is within your same age bracket (the 18-21 you've indicated for yourself). That said, as a young man, he's got raging sexual desires that run through him all the time. I think the ... (read in full...)
He wasn't that hard! Am I unappealing to him?
Q. ok so i theres this boy who i been talking to the past 2 or 2 1/2 years but we only see each other over the summer when he comes by where i live and we hangout alot then but during the year when hes not here we talk on the phone almost every night ...
A. 11 November 2008: After reading this, I was just thinking that this was a case of "opening night jitters" -- was this the first time that you two had ever gotten this close before? If so, then I definitely think it might have been just his nervousness overshadowing ... (read in full...)
My bf went back to his ex wife without saying a word to me! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend of 8 months, has in the last month has gone back to his ex wife without even telling me,i dont know what to do or think, we did not live together but i thought that he could have wrote a letter or something to tell me but i have not ...
A. 3 November 2008: The best suggestion? Move on and forget it. Yeah, it's a terrible situation that he wasn't man enough to face you and tell you directly or leave that note you mentioned. I'm sorry it happened to you.
... (read in full...)
Does he still love me?
Q. I've been with my treasured and beloved boyfriend for over 2 years now. I've had my share of bad relationships. But none of them turned long term like this one. I am a picky person. Down to the some of the hobbies or interests he should have. ...
A. 3 November 2008: It might be hard to hear, but don't you think that it's better to know the truth?... (read in full...)
Does he still love me?
Q. I've been with my treasured and beloved boyfriend for over 2 years now. I've had my share of bad relationships. But none of them turned long term like this one. I am a picky person. Down to the some of the hobbies or interests he should have. ...
A. 2 November 2008: I still think there's something else under the surface that needs to get out. Perhaps something he's embarrassed to discuss or perhaps he's not sure how you might respond and is therefore hesitant to bring it up...
... (read in full...)
Does he still love me?
Q. I've been with my treasured and beloved boyfriend for over 2 years now. I've had my share of bad relationships. But none of them turned long term like this one. I am a picky person. Down to the some of the hobbies or interests he should have. ...
A. 2 November 2008: From purely the "guy's point of view" here, we tend to be reclusive creatures. We tend to want to have solo time and follow our own interests... so, the first thing that tossed up a flag in my mind is are you really trying to control what hobbies ... (read in full...)
The boyfriends nasty habit
Q. I have a boyfriend now... haha... anyway.. he is constantly touching my sides and leaning his head on mine. He is always slapping my butt in front of his friends just to show off and it gets really annoying. we are only 13 and I know that's young, ...
A. 2 November 2008: At your age (and his), I would say that young men are a bit more uncomfortable with their sexuality. They don't really know what to do with all those developing hormones... but the bottom line here is that if he's being annoying and won't stop that ... (read in full...)
Copying GF
Q. Hey all kind of a trivial matter, love my GF lots shes awesome lets me do what i want doesnt winge (much :P) really sexy and i wouldnt trade her for the world, now heres the problem: weve known each other for about 3 years ive liked her for al...
A. 2 November 2008: She's starting to use your phrases and mannerisms? That's not uncommon at all. People that spend a lot of time together tend to pick up on other people's expressions and mannerisms... I think it was once said that mimicry is the highest form of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend, porn habit, no sex, being told I'm manipulative
Q. Okay..my boyfriend of about a year has always used porn as an outlet. He's upfront and honest about it, how he spends hours browsing and downloading it. He's even shared some of it with me, etc. I DO enjoy some of it. Although deep down I feel ...
A. 1 November 2008: Just my 2-cents as well ...I'm going to take this to the 10,000ft level and simply say that after readying your post, that old book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" came to mind... why? From up here, it seems like you're having a ... (read in full...)
I personally don't believe in breaks, only break-ups. Please help.
Q. My boyfriend wants to take a break and have his space. I personally don't believe in breaks, only break-ups. He keeps texting me saying he loves me. Do I ignore or respond? Please help...
A. 24 October 2008: This is difficult to judge. Everyone is different so every relationship you have will be different. So where a previous relationship that you might have had that wanted to take a "break" may not necessarily end in a "break-up". I suppose the ... (read in full...)
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