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... Send *eterPan a private message | | | *eterPan's profile:What qualifies me to answer your relationship question? ...I'm human too? Seriously, I'm probably no more qualified than anyone else, but at the same time, I've dated quite a bit... been married and divorced (so I guess I know what *doesn't* work).
Plus, this seemed interesting. At the very least, I know I'm not the only one out there suffering and trying to figure out a path through life... If my experiences can help you from falling into a sinkhole, then all the better, right? :) Also, I get a big kick out of helping my fell-man ..um, woman-kind too ;)
"The request lines are now open!..." (that's Cheech and Chong)
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Why can't I just tell him I love him?
Q. why is it so hard for me to tell the guy i love how i feel about him, like discuss my feeling for him instead of beating around the bush...
A. 19 June 2008: ...because like the rest of us on the planet, you are intimidated by rejection. On one level, if you never ask, you'll never know and are safe with your own strong (but hidden) affections. On the other hand, if you come out and confess your ... (read in full...)
Talking to him is like talking to a wall... and these bitter feelings burst out every other month.
Q. I'm having more bumps in this relationship. Every other month all these bitter feelings burst out. Again I'm telling him that I want romanticism. I had to beg him today to cuddle with me. He knows i'm jealous of his female friends so he sneaks out ...
A. 19 June 2008: When he's out, are you sure he's with his female friends? He could be with the boys... but, if you're sure, then it seems like you need to consider just how serious this relationship is to him... and it doesn't sound like it's at the top of his ... (read in full...)
I'm confused that he likes to kiss me and touch me like he is my boyfriend? Can this FWB relationship actually be something else?
Q. I know this guy for about 3 months. We saw each other mostly in our university class, and then decided to hang out, which by the way only happened twice.The 1st day, we hung for a long time,then at the end of the day, he wanted to do it to me, and ...
A. 19 June 2008: I can't quite get the picture of how this whole thing rolled, but I'm going to give you the basics here. If he wants FWB and you want something else -- like a steady, developing relationship, then the answer simple. Stop hanging around him and go ... (read in full...)
My husband left and got another girl pregnant, how to deal with all this?
Q. A month a go my husband left our home. He said he didnt know what he wanted. We have been married one and a half years and togther 2 and a half. He was going to come home and then met a young 18 yr old girl. He is 24 I am 26. He came back come leav...
A. 19 June 2008: That's quite a story. At the very least, I am sorry that you have had to experience all this. Since you didn't specifically mention if his accusation regarding your infidelity was true or not, I am curious... but be that as it may, it seems that in ... (read in full...)
I want to meet an online friend who lives in Italy... should I make him come to the UK first?
Q. I have met a man on line - we've been talking since February and would like to meet. He is in Rome, Italy and I am in Hertfordshire, UK. We've spoken over the phone and I've checked him out (I wasn't meaning to be devious but I had to do it ...
A. 18 June 2008: I think that my opinion is a little more of the opposite... I think it doesn't really matters who steps first on the other's soil. I would be more concerned if you were heading into this completely blind... like you hadn't checked him out at all or ... (read in full...)
Will my Internet 'boyfriend' change his mind once we meet in person?
Q. Please comments, advise, help. What should I do? I have been talking to this guy online for about 3 months, we say we like each other and that we are deeply in love. We wanted to meet and we had set up to meet in December but I was able to get the ...
A. 18 June 2008: First of all, ignore everyone else! Don't let them invade your happiness with their negative rhetoric!! I mean, were they over your shoulder while you were web-phoning? Did they read your messages back and forth? No!!
There are a few facts yo... (read in full...)
I feel trapped where I live but I don't want to leave my boyfriend who I love... any advice?
Q. Lately I've been feeling as though I made the wrong decision as to what diretion to take with my life. I've been dating my boyfriend for over three years, and its because I love him very much that I chose to stay close to home. We both moved about ...
A. 18 June 2008: You have an interesting dilemma here. It kind of boils down to your wishes and desires are in contest with his wishes and desires and the love you feel for him is the connecting bridge. I might be able to contribute specifically to this because I ... (read in full...)
Why is he backing off?
Q. i have been seeing a guy for 7 weeks. i have worked with him for 6 months and before we got together we became really good friends. we have had some lovely times together but lately he has backed right off. i don't know why cos last time i saw him ...
A. 17 June 2008: Before you drive yourself nuts with mental gymnastics, just talk to him! I still think that you're the best person to figure out what's going on!... (read in full...)
Am I too scared to fall in love?
Q. I'm falling in love and i'm scared... I've known this guy eight months and I have really fell for him. He knows I like him and he likes me too I know that much! I'm just scared i've been hurt so many times in the past i've been cheated on, li...
A. 17 June 2008: Hi there... sit, relax, take a deep breath... there... OK? Let's go...
I want you to know that everyday of your life, you take a risk. You get into a car, your drive (or ride) someplace. You proceed into an intersection (another risk)... you go i... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with best friends cousin,how am I suppose to tell him.
Q. Im having a problem I hope someone can help me with.Im 15 still in school and I met this new girl in my school this year.She is very sexy and spanish,the only problem is she is my best friends cousin.My best friend is also mexican and he is very ...
A. 17 June 2008: The phrase "carefully" comes to mind... Seriously, I'd say that if this girl is a part of the family and you're very close now, why don't you ask her how you both should break it to the rest of the family. To me, it sounds like you're not Mexican ... (read in full...)
Why is he backing off?
Q. i have been seeing a guy for 7 weeks. i have worked with him for 6 months and before we got together we became really good friends. we have had some lovely times together but lately he has backed right off. i don't know why cos last time i saw him ...
A. 17 June 2008: Has something changed at work? Has he been a bit more separated from your physically? Is he having second thoughts? ...some of this might be going through his mind, including that he might not be as sure about the relationship as he thought he ... (read in full...)
How can I pleasure him more in bed?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have good sex. I just want to please him more. I'd like to return the favor in bed. I just want to know better positions and moves he might enjoy more. Can any one help me please. I hope I don't seem to despearate I would just ...
A. 17 June 2008: Try exploring some new positions. Here's a guide I found on the internet. I liked the graphics!
http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_index.shtml
Good luck and have fun!!
... (read in full...)
Would you have a problem moving in with a partner if they had lived there with a previous partner?
Q. I would like to know if anyone would have a problem with moving in with there partner, if there partner had lived there before with a previous partner....
A. 16 June 2008: I would think that the only issues here would be with you. A home is a home. I would say that if it's that much of an issue with you, then discuss the issue with your partner. He might suggest as eyeswideopen has expressed here.
Best wishes f... (read in full...)
I really like him a lot, but is it worth the possibly of losing our friendship in the end?
Q. Despite all of the drama in my life, (ex boyfriend - new girlfriend) and alot of other things consuming that. I feel like I have opened up a new chapter in my life that I never knew existed. Yesterday, as I was drinking with some friends of mine. My ...
A. 16 June 2008: The only way to get any kind of answer on if you should move forward here is to lay the cards on the table and see where everyone stands. I would suggest starting with your girl-friend and see what she thinks of this guy (is she still interested in ... (read in full...)
I split with my partner of 4 years as we fell out of love, now his brother and I are in love, will this cause problems for my daughter?
Q. i have recently split with my partner of 4 years within that time we had a baby girl who is now 2. for the past 2 years we have been having problems and we fell out of love. since then i have been texting and seeing his brother and have fallen in ...
A. 16 June 2008: This situation is difficult to get a perspective on. First thoughts on my mind would be to ask how well you relate to your in-laws (or former in-laws, I guess). If the still respect you relate well to your daughter, then that's a good start. Another ... (read in full...)
How can I be self-confident?
Q. i have no self esteem and no self confidence whatsoever although i make friends easily.my bf said me making friends easily shows that i have got some self confidence .is he right? and how can i be self confident?...
A. 16 June 2008: Self-esteem is a very important characteristic to have. There are two suggestions I would make to you. The first is that you either go to the local large book store and inquire on book regarding rebuilding your self-esteem. There are many choices ... (read in full...)
I'm fed up with waiting for someone to find me - what do I do?!??
Q. Lately, i've completley given up on guys and everything to do with them. I haven't been in a relationship since october, and i've had a few crushes which have turned out to hurt me. I've been hurt by guys so many times, I don't know what to do ...
A. 16 June 2008: Let me offer another aspect that you might not be aware of. It may appear to you that your friends and other couples on the street may not be as harmonious as you might think. It's hard to look upon these friends and couples and not be a little bit ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still in love with his ex, but wants to be with me, what should I do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 5 months now, he was previoulsy married for 6 years with 2 little girls. He is in the process of finalizing the divorce in which he filed for but he is still in love with his ex. They didn't get ...
A. 16 June 2008: Yeah, I think you guys can work. Listen, he's right in that he's always going to be attached to the ex-wife, but it will grow to being solely through the children and their best interests and welfare. I really wouldn't worry about it and definitely ... (read in full...)
Help me make sense of my ex?
Q. So i can a little confused. I dated this guy before i left for college for 3-4 years and broke his heart because i was being selfish and he wanted to follow me to school.Now i am moving back intown, and want to catch up. I dont really know many ...
A. 16 June 2008: So it's been 5 years since you two were dating. Maybe he simply didn't want you to know about his new girlfriend. Not to mention that there was a 6 month gap between your last face-to-face and him starting to date this other girl. Perhaps he's just ... (read in full...)
In love with a guy but his problems are too much...
Q. I have a problem, I'm very much in love with my boyfriend who I've been dating for a while. He told me that he had PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) after an accident in which his close friend died. He keeps himself to himself in his own spac...
A. 15 June 2008: I am going to say that I don't know a thing about PTSD, but I did find this article about it through Google. I would definitely suggest getting your boyfriend in for treatment if he isn't in some kind of therapy now.
http:... (read in full...)
Watching lesbian porn with my boyfriend, and I'm enjoying it!
Q. me and my boyfriend have recently been watchin porn togther before having sex and my boyfriend likes to watch lesbian porn because it turns him on alot more, but recently ive noticed that i quite enjoy watchin lesbian porn and it turns me on alot ...
A. 14 June 2008: I really doubt that it makes you lesbian. At best, it MIGHT make you bisexual. In reality, watching the images of somebody in the heat of passion might start your brain's endorphin rush... think of it as a tool that you two use to get in the mood. ... (read in full...)
My fiance has confessed to having feelings for my sister, what would help us?
Q. My fiance is having strong feelings for my older sister who which he works with. He has already confessed to me that he has thought about her during sex and has thought about kissing her (and she's married!!!) He says he cant help it but he just ...
A. 14 June 2008: Wow... OK, this is COMPLETELY off the cuff here... it was my first thought and I don't know if would be helpful or even if it's realistic (so don't ding me for giving you a bad suggestion here).
Is it in any way possible for you, your sister a... (read in full...)
Why is he so insensitive towards me?
Q. We broke up over a stupid, petty argument last night! Ok, so the stupid, petty argument led to something more serious - I self harmed. Let me explain a bit... We both have some jealousy issues. And I had asked him why he had been so eager to ...
A. 14 June 2008: Let me try to give you some new insights to contemplate...
It's not uncommon for people to feel a sense of threat by the so called "more beautiful/handsome than me" bit. You mentioned a level of jealousy you both have. Think about what the root... (read in full...)
Can't have my secret love, so should I continue with my convenient lover?
Q. hey well i've been seretly inlove with my best male friend for about a yr and i'm starting to get over him but to "help" i was messing about with this guy i met for the last few mnths and i know he's just using me but i'm really just using him so ...
A. 14 June 2008: Yes, ultimately the choice for maintaining the "booty call" is completely up to you. If you are still getting something out of it (other than an "aid" in getting your mind off the other guy), then there's probably no real harm in continuing it.
... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, but is he in love with me now? Have I pushed him too hard in the past?
Q. I have been with "Bill" for 7 months... We were very close .. close to the point he was going to move in till I pushed him to many times..Meaning, I would tell him not to come back..(past relationships made walls real high with me).. He lived about ...
A. 14 June 2008: My first "off the cuff" response to this is that you've made him gun-shy. He's probably testing the waters with you and not necessarily trying to get a friends with benefits out of you, but he's probably feeling somewhat cautious about completely ... (read in full...)
I want to be a better boyfriend, how do I do that?
Q. Why can't I be honest, true and loyal to my girlfriend? She is great to be with, puts up with my mood swings, my moaning, my unromantic side, my laziness, basically everything, yet she always forgives me and makes the 1st move to sorting things out....
A. 14 June 2008: You know, it seems to me that you're asking two distinctly different questions here. First, how can you be a better boyfriend to your girlfriend and second, why are you holding onto your female friends?
So, the first one is probably easier t... (read in full...)
Am I over emphasising the sex thing?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for 6 months now: we say we love eachother and I certainly want him, but he is not really into much physically. He is more wary than me about any public shows of affection (though with all respect to straight readers ...
A. 14 June 2008: This is kind of a tough one, no matter what your sexual orientation is. To me, I always think that this boils down to personal happiness in a relationship vs. personal desires in a relationship... and the balance between them. I suppose that in your ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to have feelings for him, even though he has a girlfriend?
Q. Hi! I've been friends with this guy at college for about 2 years now, and then about 7 months ago I started having feelings for him. Last June we were both at a party, got drunk, and snogged, but the next day it was like nothing had happened. Sa...
A. 14 June 2008: I can see this easily being confusing... I mean, you know he's got a girlfriend, but is flirting with you online. I would suggest having a straight conversation with him and trying to see what's going on -- you know, be direct and get the straight ... (read in full...)
Anyone knows of an Internet site to meet people?
Q. I am a divorced woman in my mid-40s. I'm thinking of signing up with an Internet dating site. Which sites are the best is I want to meet a man interested in a long-term exclusive relationship? ...
A. 14 June 2008: Just for the heck of it, I posed your question to Google, then found this site and it's reply to your question, giving their recommendations for the top 10...
http://www.myonlinedatingservice.com/?sct=IDS
From their list, I wouldn't recomme... (read in full...)
My best friend just moved and I miss her... will I get over it soon?
Q. well i have a freind who is like my best freind in the whole world but something bad just happend my freind moved away going to a new school. she is gone now :( and i will probably never meet her again all i ahve to member her is the yearbook i h...
A. 14 June 2008: Sorry that happened to you. But here's a suggestion for you: if you'd like to get in touch with her again, why not contact your old school and find out where they forwarded her records to. Once you get that, then at least you'll have a start at ... (read in full...)
I saw my ex after 6 months without contact and he just held me for about 15 minutes... what does this mean?
Q. This is probably a very silly question that no one can really answer, but... I got back together with my BF after being separated for six months - no communication. I broke up with him because I felt he was taking me and our relationship for granted ...
A. 14 June 2008: I'll side with caution here and ask that you not read too much into this. There are things that we don't know that only you can answer, but before letting your mind wonder into the realm of positive alternatives, I would remind you that you broke up ... (read in full...)
Does having sex in a pool raise the risk of pregnancy?
Q. would it be ok if i had sex in a pool with a condom or will it raise the risk of pregnecy...
A. 14 June 2008: I can't think of a reason to think it would raise the risk of pregnancy. In fact, I can think of more reasons why it would be more unlikely... chlorine in the pool, being the first thought that comes to mind.... (read in full...)
After 5 years of friendship we had sex but he doesn't want a serious relationship... should I tell him how I feel?
Q. please someone help me........ im in love with my guy best friend. we have known each other for ten years but have developed a great friendship over the last 5 years. we have just gotten into a sexual relationship......we even talk about having ...
A. 14 June 2008: I'm kind of curious why he wouldn't want a dedicated relationship with you if things have been relating so well with you now. It seems that if he's not willing to start something more serious, it seems like there's little other choice than to leave ... (read in full...)
I dated this guy's half brother about 3 years ago, is it okay if we start dating?
Q. okay i need some advice..... a few years ago i was in a relationship with a guy i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with.i ended up growing real close to his half brother. we became best friends. i have been broken up with the guy for ...
A. 14 June 2008: If I'm following this correctly, he's not related to you (that's what I was thinking when you first said "half-brother"). So I think it seems fine with me. The only other thing that comes to mind is that the guy you were dating 3 years ago... if you ... (read in full...)
Is this considered dating?
Q. is this consider a date? we've been talkin on the phone alot. almost everyday. we live in diffent states. im gonna be where shes at and i asked her to go to dinner and a comedy show with me.she said yes.i really like this girl but i just cant tell ...
A. 13 June 2008: Well, I'm wishing you the best -- sounds like the Force is with you!!... (read in full...)
Is this considered dating?
Q. is this consider a date? we've been talkin on the phone alot. almost everyday. we live in diffent states. im gonna be where shes at and i asked her to go to dinner and a comedy show with me.she said yes.i really like this girl but i just cant tell ...
A. 12 June 2008: Well, it seems like there's a connection there. I would call you a couple... I think you should ask/tell her how you feel... Trips to Vegas and Hawaii should be the big clues here. With the price of flights these days, nobody does that kind of thing ... (read in full...)
Pains. I have an appointment to see the doc, but I'd like to know what anyone else thinks it might be
Q. Hi all, Before i start, id like to say i have booked to see my GP, but i just want to see other peoples views. Ive just finished my AS Level exams (i'm 17), and have been experiencing quick pains (they arnt very painful, if you get my meaniing) in ...
A. 12 June 2008: At your age, I would think it's stress. I would also ask if you take vitamins and exercise. If you don't do these things, then consider starting (at least taking a multi-vitamin). I discovered that I thought I had a problem with my heart, but it ... (read in full...)
My husbands lack of sex drive is driving us apart
Q. I have been married for 6 years with one child. My husband and I have been sexless for months. If we complete the act, it will be months before it happens again. I get upset with my husband for his lack of interest. Yet, when he attempts to ...
A. 12 June 2008: If your husband is willing, I would recommend that you both get some kind of couples therapy. I think that there might be an hidden issue that's effecting his drive. It could be mentally related -- examples like excessive stress from work or ... (read in full...)
My live in boyfriend cheated on me with his ex
Q. Im in a relationship with a man who told me he has slept with his ex. We have been together for under a year, i live with him. I love him very much, i dont know what to do?...
A. 12 June 2008: Wow... first, I'm sorry that happened to you.
I would suggest that you two have a serious heart-to-heart conversation. I consider fidelity as one of the cornerstones of a relationship. He has broken that trust and must be accountable for it. I th... (read in full...)
How do I get a guy to know I like him, but subtly? I don't want to be too obvious.
Q. hi, i know everyone has herd the story about boys but i really do need to help! so yeah i really really really like this guy in my class how do you get him to notice you? I want him to kind of know that i fancy him but not in a obvoious way if you ...
A. 12 June 2008: Well, if he's got a girlfriend, then do you really want to get in the way of that?... and since it seems that you are friends with this girl to boot. I don't exactly think that's a nice thing to do...
But, if you insist on it, the easy way is t... (read in full...)
I've fallen in love with my friend, but he just wants to have fun!
Q. My Best Guy Friend and I are extremly close.I've secretly fallen in love with him over the past year.well one of his relatives told me a week ago that my best friend said he liked me but didnt think i knew,and wouldnt wanna go out with me anyway ...
A. 12 June 2008: Depending on where you are in the States, you realize that he's technically committing statutory rape, right? I mean you ARE 16 right now and he's 18 and therefore considered an adult. So, if your parents disapproved of him, one quick call to the ... (read in full...)
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