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... Send *eterPan a private message | | | *eterPan's profile:What qualifies me to answer your relationship question? ...I'm human too? Seriously, I'm probably no more qualified than anyone else, but at the same time, I've dated quite a bit... been married and divorced (so I guess I know what *doesn't* work).
Plus, this seemed interesting. At the very least, I know I'm not the only one out there suffering and trying to figure out a path through life... If my experiences can help you from falling into a sinkhole, then all the better, right? :) Also, I get a big kick out of helping my fell-man ..um, woman-kind too ;)
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My problem is that she seems to believe that I am stupid!
Q. A little background first. I am a 22 year old male dating a 20 year old single mother. He have known each other since High School and dated one for a short period of time. My problem is that she seems to believe that I am stupid. When asking about ...
A. 9 June 2008: Pack your stuff and leave. You're getting brow-beaten and you don't deserve to be mistreated. Please seriously consider it -- let her find another housekeeper!... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my wife wanting to be a surrogate mother to help her twin sister have a child?
Q. Hi everyone. I came home Monday happy to be home to my wife and our newborn twins. I was met at the door by my wife who excitely told me that she wants to carry a baby for her twin sister. She is 41. Her sister recently recovered from breast canc...
A. 4 June 2008: There's an interesting thing to think about here. Neither you and your brother-in-law are ever going to be as close to your wives as your wives are to themselves. Twins have an extremely strong bond between them (something a lot of sociologist could ... (read in full...)
When will the jealousy end?
Q. My new husband is incredibly jealous, he keeps checking my phone, isolating me from friends, and last night, when he saw a phone call to another man (the person who I buy boat parts from, which he knew I was ordering!), he now accuses me of cheating ...
A. 4 June 2008: Jealousy stems from a real or perceived inadequacy. What your husband's specific issues are... well, the only person that can answer that is him. I'm thinking that you need to get him to concede that he has an issue and needs to find the source of ... (read in full...)
He says he's suffering from loss of sex drive, but has been using porn as 'relief.' I'm confused!
Q. My partner has confessed that he is suffering from loss of sex drive. I recently found porn on his PC and he says that he used it as relief. He said that if guys don't have sex for a long time, their testicles fill up with semen and it can cause ...
A. 4 June 2008: Yeah, he's *kind of* right. The testicles don't actually fill with semen, but some glands do (I can't remember my anatomy right now). But, if a man hasn't masturbated, he'll most likely have a "wet dream" that will flush the build up of semen.
... (read in full...)
I feel like I never will be thin enough, even when I know that those are my ribs I am seeing in the mirror. Please Help!!
Q. I think I need help. I'm 21 years old, 5' 4", and 118 pounds. I can't eat. Every time I look in the mirror, all I see is a disgusting mess and I hate myself more and more every time I feel a hunger pang. Two months ago I was 135 pounds, and I should ...
A. 4 June 2008: I would really like you to listen to me very carefully. You may not like what you hear, but I think you should do as I suggest. You need to speak to a psychiatrist as soon as you can. Print this question and bring it with you. You need somebody that ... (read in full...)
How can I know if my boyfriend is gay?
Q. Hi All, I have been in my relationship for nearly a year. My boyfriend and I are quite happy together, but recently there have been some issues, but most notably he has stopped wanting to have sex. When we first started dating, everything was fine...
A. 4 June 2008: To me, it just seems like there's more of an issue of something between you two and not an issue of sexual orientation at play here. Stereotypes aside, if you were passionate at the beginning and they're not so much now, that (to me) implies that ... (read in full...)
Dreams about the dad I disowned, what so they mean?
Q. i havent seen my dad in lyk 3-5 years because i have disowned him and im happy and not bothered about it but l8ly i have been having dreams about him. What do you think it means?...
A. 4 June 2008: Deep psychology isn't my thing, but if I were to guys, subconsciously you might be missing that "father figure" in your life. Like I said, that's just a guess...... (read in full...)
Why is he being so stubborn? continued...
Q. I just posted something not too long ago and well i want to add to that..( why is he being so stubborn) Though him and I are going through a huge dillemma and ive been told to run away! Well for some reason I just cant do that. Its weird to me ...
A. 4 June 2008: OK, now I'm caught up here... DEFINITELY walk away from this. You guys really have that love-hate-control thing going BIG-TIME here! I'm sure that there has to be other guys on campus you could hang with... it's a target rich environment! Have at ... (read in full...)
Why is he being so stubborn? continued...
Q. I just posted something not too long ago and well i want to add to that..( why is he being so stubborn) Though him and I are going through a huge dillemma and ive been told to run away! Well for some reason I just cant do that. Its weird to me ...
A. 3 June 2008: I haven't read your other post, but it seems to me that you should back off a little (well, maybe more like a lot) and leave him be. Stop calling, texting, paging -- stop all of it and let him stew for a while see if he gets back to you. "Teaching ... (read in full...)
Sexual Harrassment at work - how can I make it stop?
Q. i recently started a new job which i love the man who was head of my department was selected to train me, after only a month he started to put his arm around me, and make sexuall remarks, this has now delveloped into him groping my bottom, and also ...
A. 3 June 2008: How large is the company you work for? The reason I ask is most large companies have HR departments and clearly defined policies on sexual harassment problems/issues. Usually, they'll instruct you to speak to the person and have them stop the ... (read in full...)
I can't let go of my ex now we are just friends
Q. hey, broke up with my boyfriend about 8 months ago, and I have constantly texted him I dont know why. Think I still want to feel close to him as he has moved away. I have wished him best for the future and have not tried to get him back, just wanted ...
A. 3 June 2008: Sometimes trying to be friends with the ex is a hard thing to do. If you can pull it off without either of you feeling uncomfortable ...or feeling like you're holding the other one back, try. But, if you think that having a friendship isn't an ... (read in full...)
The female orgasm - what is it?!!
Q. I was reading a book called Seduce Me and it's pretty much just a book about different sex stories/fantasies. In a couple of them, it had said something about the girls coming, too. As far as I knew only guys could really come, so I'm kind of ...
A. 3 June 2008: Females "coming" is more properly referred to as an orgasm... and to that end, here's a quick link I found (with Google) for you. I'm sure that another woman is more qualified to answer more specific questions for you... but once you have one... ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dated someone else. I don't know what to do
Q. My boyfriend went out on a date with another girl. He says he was angry at me for asking him about cheating on me (someone said they saw him at a bar with another girl). I gave him another chance, but then heard that one of his friends thought ...
A. 3 June 2008: Wait a second... you accused him of cheating... that split you up, then he goes out and ACTUALLY cheats on you? My head is spinning now...
But, before it comes completely off, let me ask this simple question: you didn't actually SEE him out on t... (read in full...)
I'm in love and it freaked him out
Q. Dear Cupid, One Of My Friends told the guy iv been meeting that im totally in love with him, im not sure why but i know its not out of jealousy, anyway the point is i think it freaked him out and he doesnt talk to me anymore, and i dont know if ...
A. 3 June 2008: I always advocate talking before giving up -- what's the complication there? And why would your friend purposefully sabotage you?
... (read in full...)
Torn between two guys, don't want to hurt either of them
Q. I have a boyfriend of 4 years (i'm 22), but recently I met another guy, and we really hit it off. We would talk on the phone all night long, and recently I cheated on my boyfriend with him. I feel so low, believe me, I am not proud of what I did, ...
A. 3 June 2008: Wow... the first thing that comes to mind is that the issues with your BF are real, in at least they are your perception -- you see yourself as not having the romantic notions you desire from him (which is probably what lead you to the other guy in ... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with him, even though he has a girlfriend?
Q. I really need your help..this is really killing me! i feel for my friends and he knows how i feel i told him about 7months ago...after i told him i didnt keep in touch with him but he did with me mainly through text messages etc..then one da...
A. 3 June 2008: I'm not going to harp on you about the email thing - it's done and can't be undone. What is curious though is that you've kind of assumed that he moved on while knowing you still had an interest in him. To me, it seems like you guys kept missing ... (read in full...)
Do I have a problem with my direction?
Q. Hi! I'm a 15-year-old girl who is straight and who loves boys! My sister is a lesbian and she gave me some episodes of the L World to watch last week.I wasn't ok with that coz'i'm not a dyke!!!I watched the show and I loved it!!! Now when I go on...
A. 3 June 2008: Although I've never seen the show, I'm familiar with its subject matter. Personally, I think that you are probably too young to know exactly what you like and don't like in a relationship. But, just for the record, there is the "third option" of ... (read in full...)
What would be the obvious signs a girl liked you?
Q. Hi people, i just wanted to know the most obvious signs a 15 year old girl would show you if she liked you (im 16)...
A. 3 June 2008: Obvious? The first one the comes to mind is laughing at your horrible jokes. Then maybe followed by it seeming that she's hanging around more than some of your other friends (or just as much), increased email traffic (or MySpace if you've got ... (read in full...)
Help me, I am a loner in love!
Q. please I really need an answer to this question. I am really in love with this girl that I used to go to school with before I graduated. The problem is that I am a pale loner and she is one of the most social girls I ever met. we would talk every ...
A. 3 June 2008: Definitely keep sending emails.... (read in full...)
I fancy somebody but I'm not sure how to find out if he is single!
Q. I fancy somebody but are not sure if they are free, the trouble is that i am not sure how to find out if they are single without it getting back to him, as the company he works for is a gossip ground and i dont want to show myself up and find out he ...
A. 3 June 2008: Well, you could simply just speak to him and see what he's got to say. Yeah, it's direct and maybe a little embarrassing, but assume he is available -- then you've already broken the ice!! And if you're wrong and he's a gentlemen, he won't be ... (read in full...)
Help me, I am a loner in love!
Q. please I really need an answer to this question. I am really in love with this girl that I used to go to school with before I graduated. The problem is that I am a pale loner and she is one of the most social girls I ever met. we would talk every ...
A. 3 June 2008: First, I would recommend that you try and establish a regular communication channel. Continue with the emails... then maybe move to IM's and chats... then perhaps moving to actually speaking to her (phone or in person). I don't think dropping the ... (read in full...)
Should I try to move on, or ask her to be my girlfriend again
Q. ok I was dating this girl for bout a week or two. Plus she listens to alot of people and sometimes even does wat they say. Then there is this other guy that likes her but she said she would never date him okay ill get along with the story. Okay she ...
A. 2 June 2008: Personally, to me it seems like another window of opportunity has opened up for you. I think you should tread lightly on it, but move nonetheless. Approach this slowly and carefully -- don't scare her off. Do some more hinting... try a few "buddy" ... (read in full...)
I've been seeing a married man but now when he wants to move in with me I get cold feet, what do you think I should do?
Q. i have been seeing a married man for eight years and now he tells me he wants to leave home and move in with me. problem is i dont want him to i know if he cheated on his wife with me for years i cant expect anything but the worse from him but at ...
A. 2 June 2008: Of course, you could give him something close to the truth... something like you're simply not ready for him to move in with you right now, which is the truth, but it doesn't say when you'd be ready.
Personally, I can understand your trepidat... (read in full...)
Should I get a pregnancy test for my girlfriend as she is a bit worried?
Q. Hey I'm 16 and I'm afraid. My girlfriend and I had sex, and We DID usea condom (and I'm pretty sure we put it on right, she put it on) and after about 10 minutes, I decided to check the condom and nothing wrong, but she noticed it was like whitish...
A. 2 June 2008: You can buy a test, but I think you're wasting your time and money. One of the woman here can give you more details, but what you've described is common discharge from a woman's body (I just can't remember the details enough to tell you for sure... ... (read in full...)
Why cant she get pregnant?
Q. My girlfriend and i are trying to have a kid. We have had sex so many times so why wont she get pregnant?...
A. 2 June 2008: I'm going to assume your age is wrong on your profile... you might want to look into that... I would think that if everything is functioning normally, then there might be something only a doctor can figure out. It's not unheard of to have artificial ... (read in full...)
I've fallen completely in love with her, like nothing I've ever felt before. Problem is she has a boyfriend!
Q. I met this girl about a year ago. The problem is that I've fallen completely in love with her, like nothing I've ever felt before. She's in all my dreams, my thoughts, I can't get her out of my head. Here's my problem: I'm 18 years old and s...
A. 2 June 2008: I'm sure she appreciates it... I'm still standing firm on my original advise. Find her, talk to her... tell her how you feel... as a friend of mine just told me, you never know until you try... sound, if not sage, advise!... (read in full...)
I've fallen completely in love with her, like nothing I've ever felt before. Problem is she has a boyfriend!
Q. I met this girl about a year ago. The problem is that I've fallen completely in love with her, like nothing I've ever felt before. She's in all my dreams, my thoughts, I can't get her out of my head. Here's my problem: I'm 18 years old and s...
A. 2 June 2008: Well, it's gallant to be concerned about the "other fellow", but it seems that he's the way out the door. But, you're in a great position to know more about their relationship than any of us. I still think that you should start fielding hints (at ... (read in full...)
My problem is that she seems to believe that I am stupid!
Q. A little background first. I am a 22 year old male dating a 20 year old single mother. He have known each other since High School and dated one for a short period of time. My problem is that she seems to believe that I am stupid. When asking about ...
A. 2 June 2008: I COMPLETELY agree with rhythmandblues2's advice! You either need to be respected or you need to move on... So, I second the motion on the floor!... (read in full...)
Can't stop thinking about the guy I met during my holidays!
Q. i have just come back from a holiday. i met this really great guy there called james. we liked each other but because he worked there it was difficult as he could get into trouble. the night before last we met up and had an amazing time (everything ...
A. 2 June 2008: I hope that you got his contact information before you left! Because at the worst you could write each other (regular post or email)... if you didn't, then it sounds like you were at a resort for your vacation. If that's the case, or you know where ... (read in full...)
I've fallen completely in love with her, like nothing I've ever felt before. Problem is she has a boyfriend!
Q. I met this girl about a year ago. The problem is that I've fallen completely in love with her, like nothing I've ever felt before. She's in all my dreams, my thoughts, I can't get her out of my head. Here's my problem: I'm 18 years old and s...
A. 2 June 2008: Well, you're further ahead of the game than you seem to think. If you two are constantly speaking on the phone, doesn't that tell you that there's a deep friendship there?
What I think you need here is a little old-fashioned honest conversa... (read in full...)
Does he like me? Can you tell me if I love him 'cause I don't know!
Q. Ok, hi...well. I really like this boy, his names Brian, he's cute, funny, has beautiful eyes and is just wonderful. I wanna know if he likes me. In 6th grade we were in the same class but now in 7th grade were not (that sucks). He stares at me alot ...
A. 2 June 2008: ...ah... puppy love...
Sorry -- I'm back now :) OK, just a few things. Do I think you're in love with him. Probably not. Do you like him a lot... probably so. I reserve the use of the word "love" for something a little further down the road lik... (read in full...)
My BF of 4 years constantly cheats on me and does not even try to hide it...
Q. My boyfriend of 4 yrs ( within this time frame has been unfaithful over 6 or more times that I am aware of) but within the last year has been faithful until 6 months ago, but now is in another side bar relationship with a married women, I also know ...
A. 2 June 2008: Vaya con Dios... be strong!... (read in full...)
I am bothered by his best female friend to whom he tells everything... so I am having second thoughts about moving in together!
Q. My best friend of 17 years and I started dating 1 1/2 years ago and he has lots of female friends but one really bothers me because he seems to tell her everything he even calls her when I am in the shower to tell her about a disagreement we have ...
A. 2 June 2008: Well, as the car dealers say, "You milage may vary"... but, as one of those guys that has many friends that are women, I can tell you it's not out of the ordinary. In fact, I'll extrapolate here and guess that you think of you BF as one of the rare ... (read in full...)
Which guy would be the right one for me to choose?
Q. im in a bit of a mess and would love some advice, i went to a work party on friday night and a guy i work with who ive always liked but had a feeling he didnt like me (name calling teasing ect) went aswell we started flirting with each oth...
A. 2 June 2008: I'm one of those "high moral" types. As far as I see it, anyone in a committed relationship -- going well or going sour -- is a hands-off deal. It also implies to me that old adage "Having your cake and eating it too". If you would prefer to date ... (read in full...)
I've shaved my pubic area... Now what do I expect? Is there a major risk of ingrown hairs or itches?
Q. My question is simple guys - I've shaved 'down there'... Now what do I expect? Will it start growing back straight away? Is there a big risk of in-growing hairs? I'm really worried about those! Will it hurt and itch and never grow back the same aga...
A. 1 June 2008: I should have thought about that a little more... so let me fix the coarse hair part... FOR A GUY'S FACIAL HAIR, it will get thicker over time as you continue to shave. But that's probably because we tend to shave everyday and we're loaded with ... (read in full...)
I'm willing to have anal sex though I have no clue about it. Can anyone please give me advice?
Q. My boyfriend has asked me to have anal sex with him, im willing to do it but i have never done it before. Can anyone please tell me does it hurt or any advice, tips, etc. Thanks xxx...
A. 1 June 2008: My personal approach regarding any given question like this would be to NOT make judgement calls unless specifically asked to do so.
This question was regarding anal sex, does it hurt and if there were any tips that could be offered. I did my b... (read in full...)
How do you get over the heartache?
Q. how do u get over someone who u liked for 3yrs more than life? Someone who rejected you in a extremely nice way but u can't get over it. Someone who comes in ur dreams every nite? Someone pictures u luk at every nite. Someone u wish u saw everday ...
A. 1 June 2008: I'm not going to lie to you -- relationships are powerful things. When things are great, they're SUPER GREAT... and of course the opposite is just as true. One think that helps you move on would be to stop forcing yourself to have her in mind... in ... (read in full...)
Should I wait for him to make the next move?
Q. He definitely knows now that I'm interested in having sex with him. Should I wait for him to make the next move?...
A. 1 June 2008: I think you might get further if you took this opportunity to be a bit more aggressive. Just suppose he's being shy about a delicate subject... and you're coyly waiting for him to make the first move... in other words, both of you are stuck going ... (read in full...)
He was still saying he misses me the morning of the break up! Do you think there's a chance I can get him back?
Q. early may - i told bf we needed a break 2 days later - he moved to another city i sent him off at the airport next day - we talked about our issues on MSN and solved it. After which things were great 2 weeks later - I visited him in his new ...
A. 1 June 2008: Sorry -- I never watched enough of that show to know the intimate details, but at least I know what you're talking about. :)... (read in full...)
I am scared to try BJ again!!
Q. I was recently told I was awful at giving a guy a blowjob. I mean, it was my first time and all, and he knew that. He just simply told me I was awful at it. I asked him what I could do to improve and he just said "get better" while shrugging. I know ...
A. 1 June 2008: While I agree that you are having relationship issues with your boyfriend (because simply put, he should respect you for trying something you've never done before), but I'm not going to pass along comments related to that -- I think the other ... (read in full...)
I've shaved my pubic area... Now what do I expect? Is there a major risk of ingrown hairs or itches?
Q. My question is simple guys - I've shaved 'down there'... Now what do I expect? Will it start growing back straight away? Is there a big risk of in-growing hairs? I'm really worried about those! Will it hurt and itch and never grow back the same aga...
A. 31 May 2008: Yeah, it can be. But don't worry about it too much -- I mean, you're getting worked up over something that might not happen at all (or very infrequently).
When I get in-grown hairs (and mind you, this is for my face you might find this a little d... (read in full...)
I'm willing to have anal sex though I have no clue about it. Can anyone please give me advice?
Q. My boyfriend has asked me to have anal sex with him, im willing to do it but i have never done it before. Can anyone please tell me does it hurt or any advice, tips, etc. Thanks xxx...
A. 31 May 2008: First, yes -- it might hurt if you are not properly lubricated and relaxed. The muscles around your anus are designed to keep things in and not let them out readily. I did a fast Google search and found this link -- there's tons more stuff out there ... (read in full...)
I've shaved my pubic area... Now what do I expect? Is there a major risk of ingrown hairs or itches?
Q. My question is simple guys - I've shaved 'down there'... Now what do I expect? Will it start growing back straight away? Is there a big risk of in-growing hairs? I'm really worried about those! Will it hurt and itch and never grow back the same aga...
A. 31 May 2008: Oh, one more tip: I get in-grown hair on my face all the time. To help lift it, I use the course side of a wash cloth when I'm showing, but nonetheless sometimes still get them. If you continue to shave, the hair will probably get more course itself ... (read in full...)
I've shaved my pubic area... Now what do I expect? Is there a major risk of ingrown hairs or itches?
Q. My question is simple guys - I've shaved 'down there'... Now what do I expect? Will it start growing back straight away? Is there a big risk of in-growing hairs? I'm really worried about those! Will it hurt and itch and never grow back the same aga...
A. 31 May 2008: Your hair will definitely grow back. Shaving is (obviously) not a permanent removal of hair. And, biologically speaking, your hair has never stopped growing. As far as in-grown hair, if you have curly hair, then you might have something to worry ... (read in full...)
He was still saying he misses me the morning of the break up! Do you think there's a chance I can get him back?
Q. early may - i told bf we needed a break 2 days later - he moved to another city i sent him off at the airport next day - we talked about our issues on MSN and solved it. After which things were great 2 weeks later - I visited him in his new ...
A. 31 May 2008: Wow... interesting story... well, there's always a chance (I'm an optimist). It is completely possible that he was overloaded with all the activities that he's trying to juggle and spoke impulsively... but, you're not going to know until you can ... (read in full...)
My BF of 4 years constantly cheats on me and does not even try to hide it...
Q. My boyfriend of 4 yrs ( within this time frame has been unfaithful over 6 or more times that I am aware of) but within the last year has been faithful until 6 months ago, but now is in another side bar relationship with a married women, I also know ...
A. 30 May 2008: I've used this phrase with others, now it's your turn... It's time to trade up!
So, let's review... he cheats on you (and is not only forthright about it, but is a repeat offender), he lives with his ex-wife (hmmm), and has some kind of commitme... (read in full...)
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