Like what
he writes?
... Add *eterPan to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *eterPan a private message | | | *eterPan's profile:What qualifies me to answer your relationship question? ...I'm human too? Seriously, I'm probably no more qualified than anyone else, but at the same time, I've dated quite a bit... been married and divorced (so I guess I know what *doesn't* work).
Plus, this seemed interesting. At the very least, I know I'm not the only one out there suffering and trying to figure out a path through life... If my experiences can help you from falling into a sinkhole, then all the better, right? :) Also, I get a big kick out of helping my fell-man ..um, woman-kind too ;)
"The request lines are now open!..." (that's Cheech and Chong)
|
|
What happened to our sex life? Seems like she is avoiding me sexually.
Q. My girlfriend and I have had fantastic sex. She would even brag to a couple of her close female friends how this is the first time she has such great sex. However, the past couple of months our sex life is practically nill. Not for my lack of trying ...
A. 21 May 2008: This is what I was talking about before. This page says it's a once a month contraceptive.
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/youth/health/contraceptives/ring.htm
... (read in full...)
What happened to our sex life? Seems like she is avoiding me sexually.
Q. My girlfriend and I have had fantastic sex. She would even brag to a couple of her close female friends how this is the first time she has such great sex. However, the past couple of months our sex life is practically nill. Not for my lack of trying ...
A. 20 May 2008: Oh, and now that I think about it, there's also some kind of skin patch too!... (read in full...)
What happened to our sex life? Seems like she is avoiding me sexually.
Q. My girlfriend and I have had fantastic sex. She would even brag to a couple of her close female friends how this is the first time she has such great sex. However, the past couple of months our sex life is practically nill. Not for my lack of trying ...
A. 20 May 2008: I don't have an answer for you regarding how you're baffled about what to do, but I wanted to say that there are other birth control options. There's some kind of insertable ring (I don't know the name) but it seems like it was a once a month kind ... (read in full...)
I don't know where to go from here, should I try to work it out with him or move on?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going through a rough time and no matter how much i tried to discuss it with him or how i was feeling he never seemed to want to talk, he just said i was being stupid. i began to think i was for a while and then one day ...
A. 20 May 2008: I'm more inclined to tell you to pick up and move on... ignore his text messages and phone calls... that's what I would do in your situation.
...but, this is your life. As long as you are not fooling yourself by still having feelings for him and ... (read in full...)
He's messed me about but now wants to talk, should I go and talk to him?
Q. Me and my bf had been going out for 6-7 months. I got pregnant pretty quickly but everything seemed to be going good between us. Then a few months ago he started to change and seemed distant. i always foned him but he neva bothered to phone me. at ...
A. 20 May 2008: Talking is good... talking at his place is probably bad. Have him come around to see you at your place or meet him someplace on "neutral ground" (coffee shop, restaurant, etc. -- something not too loud though).
No matter what, be firm on what you... (read in full...)
Why is this happening to me? Why is my girlfriend this way???
Q. (background info)Me and my girlfriend met back in Sep of 07. We worked in the same town and I would often see her at her job. I fell in love with her smile and how she always made me laugh. She said she was talking to someone and that she was not ...
A. 20 May 2008: Well, unfortunately, my original advice still stands. I think that you two need to sit someplace on neutral ground and have that big discussion about if you are going to continue or move on from each other. You've got to get her to open up and tell ... (read in full...)
Do I ask him out? Do I wait for him to ask me out? What do I do?
Q. Ok, I really like this guy at my school. I ended up telling him (even though it was through a game of truth or dare). His Gf just broke up with him a week ago and I dont know if he likes me back. Do I ask him out? Do I wait for him to ask me out? ...
A. 20 May 2008: I'd play it like this: give him the opportunity ask you out. That means being in his group of friends, out at restaurants with the gang, sharing homework... something... and flirt with him...
If all that doesn't work, then I think it would be... (read in full...)
Why is this happening to me? Why is my girlfriend this way???
Q. (background info)Me and my girlfriend met back in Sep of 07. We worked in the same town and I would often see her at her job. I fell in love with her smile and how she always made me laugh. She said she was talking to someone and that she was not ...
A. 20 May 2008: This is going to be blunt, then I'll try to explain it in the following paragraphs.
My first impression?... she's no long happy and you are a bit of a control freak. Yeah, that's harsh, but let me explain both...
Your GF just isn't acting hap... (read in full...)
She insists that we be friends, is she saving me as an option to be with later in life?
Q. This girl that i've known since 8th grade has been one of the closet friends that I have ever had, we always talk, hang out, flirt, party together, kissed here and there, have the same group of friends etc....but we do have our share of nasty ...
A. 20 May 2008: I doubt that she's saving you for later use in life. This is going to be hard to explain, but I guess it's the simple truth. You are going to find that you will have many encounters where you love somebody (or think you do) and they might love you ... (read in full...)
What do boys think of girls that get horney?
Q. do boys think it is good if girls get horney ? i am embarresed to ask that question. ...
A. 19 May 2008: I can't see a reason why men don't like horny women... or at least I don't mind it at all... but I would also add that shy men/boys might find it a bit intimidating to deal with... like most things, it depends on the guy, but most like it... IMO... (read in full...)
Why was she afraid to tell me about meeting her ex for dinner? Is this ok?
Q. why would my gf of 4 yrs.not tell me about her talking to her old bf? then i found out she met him for dinner and are now just friends.we were planning to get married,but the trust thing just went out the window.help! we love each other so ...
A. 19 May 2008: Did you think that she might have thought you might have had a jealous reaction to it... and possibly didn't want to risk that? Maybe you two need to have a chat about it... another thing to consider that from her past, somebody less understanding ... (read in full...)
Thinking of giving him sexy pictures of myself to be remembered during the short while he is away, how to have them done professionally?
Q. Hi My BF is going abroad for about two weeks, and I want to give him something so he can remember me ... I was thinking about some "sexy" pictures for each day ... but dont know where to go to have them done (want to have it professionaly done,so ...
A. 19 May 2008: BTW: I am a photographer, so I know what you're asking for. Search around, I am sure you'll find somebody to help you. ... (read in full...)
Thinking of giving him sexy pictures of myself to be remembered during the short while he is away, how to have them done professionally?
Q. Hi My BF is going abroad for about two weeks, and I want to give him something so he can remember me ... I was thinking about some "sexy" pictures for each day ... but dont know where to go to have them done (want to have it professionaly done,so ...
A. 19 May 2008: If you're interested in professional images, try looking up "boudoir photography" for your area of NY and see if there are photographers in your area that can help you out. I just tried it for my area and it hit on lots of locals in Texas. I would ... (read in full...)
I fear being alone and find myself jumping from one short relationship into another. How to move forward?
Q. Hi, I'm 27 and have been separated from my husband for about 20 months. I moved away after the split and found myself changing, becoming more confident, independent and enjoying life but I seem to have relationship demons. I seem to find myse...
A. 19 May 2008: Let's try to look at this from a more positive angle. Maybe you are jumping around from relationship to relationship because you haven't found what satisfies you. Perhaps you're looking for more of a commitment from the guys you've met, or maybe ... (read in full...)
He's a manipulator. Why would someone play games like this?
Q. Hi Maybe i shouldn't even bother trying to analyse this but.. Me and my ex had a row the other night, and he grabbed me and pinned me up against a cupboard. I fought him off, and got him out the house. My children and his child were in the hous...
A. 19 May 2008: This might be completely wrong, so please take it with a grain of salt...
It's been my experience (for a completely different reason) that some people will seek justifications for their actions (good or bad) by trying to sway the opinions of other... (read in full...)
We've been on and off, should I stay with him?
Q. I was dating a guy for about a month when I did something very stupid and started talking to another guy on the side. This devastated him. However, he stayed with me. Then, it got to me and I just broke it off. He was so heart-broken. Then, we got ...
A. 19 May 2008: The first comment I want to make is that "the past is the past". It seems to me that if you've apologized for something once, you shouldn't need to do it again, or worse yet, be constantly reminded of it. This makes me think that he's trying to ... (read in full...)
I've never kissed. Should I ask this girl out?
Q. im 15 i really like this girl but ive only met her once we talk alot on msn but i really dont know how she feels for me how can i tell if i should ask her out or not? and im also very shy ive not actualy kissed a girl and ive had only 1 girlf...
A. 19 May 2008: On the kissing issue, don't worry about it too much, just do what's natural -- your DNA will figure out the rest.
As far as if you should ask her out, I don't see a reason why you shouldn't. If it's easer for you to do it over MSN, then go for i... (read in full...)
Can I get rid of a UTI without prescription drugs?
Q. Is there anyway to get rid of a uti without prescription drugs? I've had several in the past, so I'm pretty sure I know I have one. But I don't have insurance right now, and can't afford a doctor visit. I've heard of home remedies, but don't know ...
A. 19 May 2008: I came across this link... down the page are a few suggestions (home remedies) that you might try.
http://www.home-remedies-for-you.com/remedy/Urinary-Tract-Infection-(UTI).html
... (read in full...)
I'm sleeping with my ex again, does he still have feelings for me?
Q. My ex and I broke about a year ago we both had got into new relationships, and then both of us ended single again at the same time. We agreed to have a sexual relationship with each other with no strings attached, but I didn't have any time to ...
A. 18 May 2008: To anonymous: if your relationship is working, cool... great!! I just saying that in my experience I have yet to hear where there's a clear definition where both sides of the couple are on equal footing. I'm guessing, but it seems that you have a ... (read in full...)
I'm sleeping with my ex again, does he still have feelings for me?
Q. My ex and I broke about a year ago we both had got into new relationships, and then both of us ended single again at the same time. We agreed to have a sexual relationship with each other with no strings attached, but I didn't have any time to ...
A. 18 May 2008: Depends... what was he asking? Look, I see this "friends with benefits" relationship thing that most people find themselves in as "troubling". I have yet to hear of a relationship where both people were on equal ground... as in, one or the other is ... (read in full...)
I'm working more at my job than my studies, am I making the right move?
Q. hey dudes/dudettes! man, i need some advice-non biast advice. im in my second year of uni, i work (pretty decent job part time) and along with my current job im doing some training to help me to progress further. the thing is, this yr in uni...
A. 18 May 2008: Here in the States, it's hard to get ahead of anything other than a minimum wage job without graduating from college of some kind. I would seriously recommend completing your degree requirements and call it done. And, just because you have a degree ... (read in full...)
Do I need to worry about STDs even though we're both virgins?
Q. I've been dating a guy for almost 13 months. I'm a virgin and so is my boyfriend, but I give him blowjobs and handjobs. We're not going to have sex, because we've agreed that we're too young and not ready. We don't use condoms when I blow him, but I ...
A. 18 May 2008: If you are absolutely sure that you're both virgins, then the likelihood of getting (or giving) an STD is really really low... like nonexistent IMO. But, again, that's assuming that he hasn't been with anyone else.... (read in full...)
He moved on and married, and I'm engaged. Should I talk to him if I see him again?
Q. hello, i meet this man 9 years ago when he was my pe coach and i fell in love with him but i never told him because he left but i told him after 5 years . then he told me that he was not good for me and that iam a good girl.then he travelled we ...
A. 17 May 2008: Well, I can't understand why you would want to speak with him. To me, that's just opening up a can of pain. It seems that your attraction is over and done with. Not to mention that you're engaged and have decided to be in a committed relationship. I ... (read in full...)
I'm too scared to tell him about my past in case he doesn't want to see me anymore.
Q. Hi, I married when i was 22 (i'm now 27). I was with the guy for 5 years and we have been separated 3 years now. It was an amicable separation, we just grew apart and were too young I guess and rushed into it. I've started seeing this guy who I r...
A. 16 May 2008: Good deal!! Glad things worked out!!... (read in full...)
After marriage is over, how do you start again?
Q. How so you start life al over after u go are going through a separation from marriage headin for divorce especialy when u care someone about that person but they dont care much back? :(...
A. 16 May 2008: The answer is "it's not easy", but there are some priorities that you need to do that will help your recovery. First and foremost, YOU should be your priority ALWAYS. In other words, you have excess baggage that was dumped in your lap: pain, anger, ... (read in full...)
I'd like to go out with her but I'm afraid what people will think!
Q. hey I have a question concerning one of my friends. WE have known each other for quite some time. but just recently have become interested in each other. Like at the moment we are just friends with benefits. But she wants to go out with me. i'd love ...
A. 16 May 2008: Welcome to your first adult decision!
Simple answer (details in a minute): do NOT let others dictate to you when you have an attraction for somebody based on appearance!
Longer answer: personally, it's none of anyone's f*cking business who you... (read in full...)
I want to give her a good romantic time but I can't get it up!
Q. hi im 22 i can get any girl i want i've been with more than 8 girls i did every thing with them but sex, i just get so nervous when it comes to sex most of the time i get orgasm during the oral sex and it last for a minute, or some times i cant just ...
A. 16 May 2008: You've got a serious case of "performance anxiety" -- you're working yourself up by worrying if you're going to perform or not.
That's the problem... the solution is to relax some more. Simple solution is to relax and enjoy as much as you can with... (read in full...)
I need immediate help.. please! I'm being blackmailed!
Q. I need immediate help, please. Before I explain my situation, I just want the people to know that I'm not really.. 'this' kind of a person. I don't know why I acted this way, and now I'm paying the price for my stupidity. I've always been independ...
A. 16 May 2008: Just for your information, it is a Federal offense in the United States to pose threats via the internet or telephone across state lines... and you implied that he drove across the country to leave this note on our front door. If needs be, it could ... (read in full...)
How do you train a man to be more respectful towards women?
Q. How do you train a man to be more respectful towards women? My b/f of 3 yrs. blows hot and cold constantly. One minute he's all, 'ooh baby you're the best thing that ever happened to me...' and the next minute he's yelling at me over something ...
A. 16 May 2008: I don't actually know that you can "train" him to be generally more respectful. It seems to me you are or your aren't. The first related question that pops in my mind is if he behaves like this to friends... family... the average joe in the street? ... (read in full...)
We have agreed to take it easy but it's hard when we are together so much. Any advice?
Q. Hi, I have been single for 3 years now and up until now, I had no desire to change that. For the past 4 months I have been hanging out with this guy that I dated 15 years ago, we haven't kissed or even held hands but, have discussed somewhat...
A. 15 May 2008: No courage is needed... just the conviction to speak plainly and openly and be available to accept the happiness to follow!... (read in full...)
Is he making enough of an effort? Or am I being unreasonable?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I recently joined an internet dating site, after my long term partner and I split up, as I thought it would be a good way to meet people. I initially went on for friendship (with men and women .... i do already have my ...
A. 15 May 2008: I don't think you're being unreasonable... but I do think you're being a bit too paranoid. I've only recently become aware of the European system for exams (it's completely different in the States), so it seems like he would be exceptionally busy ... (read in full...)
I lied to him, so now I'm coming clean. I know this time, I'll lose him for good. What can I do?
Q. Me and my bf have been together for almost two years. In the beginning it seemed as if we were perfect for each other; I could be myself around him, I let him be, and everything went great. From the beginning I knew he was jealous (asked me not to ...
A. 15 May 2008: I'm having a hard time imagining what you did to be so sure this is your swan song and end of your relationship...
In any case - and I usually never suggest this but - if you are attempting to preserve what you have with your boyfriend, why are ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best mate I'm in love with him?
Q. Hi, Ive known this guy since i was about 6 -7 years old, I'd visit his town every christmas and we'd see each other for the fornight that i was there. We had always had a little bit of a crush on each other, and our parents thought it was cute. ...
A. 15 May 2008: I think you should go for it! To me, even from across the globe, it seems like he's laying out all the clues, waiting to see if you'll take the hint since he's too shy to say it for himself. If you two are as close as you say you are, then it seems ... (read in full...)
Help me please, should I trust her?
Q. hi my names jon im going out with my girlfriend weve been going out for around 2 months and its all going great and then she tells me that this other person has told her he's in love with her, and shes going to his house next week !? she tell me she ...
A. 14 May 2008: To me, that seems rather disrespectful on her part to tell you somebody loves her and she's going to his place. That doesn't make sense to me. Why would she bother to tell you all this other than to make you jealous?
What should you do? Unfortun... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to love my step-step-3rd cousin?
Q. My dad got married in June (2007). I was hanging out with my step mom and we went to her cousin's new house. I have never met her cousin, until that day. Her cousin, has a step daughter. I couldn't help but tellin her how beautiful she was etc etc. ...
A. 14 May 2008: I can never get those family hierarchy things, but sounds to me that you guys are about as related as you and I are. That said, other than your current relationships, I don't see an issue here. ... (read in full...)
Straight guy turned on by gay porn!!!
Q. i'm a normal, straight, 20 year old guy. I've had a couple of girlfriends before, and have one currently. Recently i've been getting attracted to gay porn. It turns me on much more than the straight stuff, so i'm beginning to wonder if i'm turning ...
A. 14 May 2008: OK, first off, having fantasies or watching gay porn won't turn you into a homosexual -- you either are or you aren't, plain and simple. What you could be though is bisexual, and that another "you are or your aren't" as well.
If you want to explo... (read in full...)
I've been cheating. I need advice on how to move forward.
Q. i have been cheating on my boyfriend of 8 years i have been unhappy for about a year .i have now finished with other man but despite this i am still in love with him .my boyfreind knows i cheated and left but i told him to come back and he did. i ...
A. 14 May 2008: Wow... another tough one to deal with. I'm curious - are either of these guys the father of your children?
OK, somehow, you've got to get closure on the other guy. You need to figure out how to put him out of your mind and call it an "in the past... (read in full...)
I'm scared of failing to please him. Giving him oral isn't working.
Q. I have recently hooked up with a new partner. After a certain amount of guidance from me he can give me fantastic oral. I have been told many times previously that my blow jobs were the best ever but I don't seem to have what it takes any more. Last ...
A. 14 May 2008: As the second guy to reply to your post, let me say that the old adage "Slow and steady wins the race". You gotta remember, we were all created differently. What works for one doesn't always work for others... so definitely cut yourself a break ... (read in full...)
My long distance partner is confusing me!
Q. Hi all! I have posted a question here a few months ago about my long distance relationship. It has gotten better, still no flowers, but he calls a couple of times per week, we txt each other frequently as well as email. He is comming over again - ...
A. 14 May 2008: This is a tough one to answer. You're in Latvia, but where is your "boyfriend"? I'm just trying to get a cultural read on it to add a little more perspective on my answer.
But, going with what I've got from this, I get the feeling that he's pla... (read in full...)
I started dating a player, broke up with him, now cant get him out of my head, help me!
Q. A couple months ago, I was dating a guy that went well for the first 2 weeks (infatuation phase), and then we got physical (kissing, hj, fingering. no sex). I enjoyed it and felt that he sincerely liked me (although he seemed like the player type, ...
A. 14 May 2008: Oops! Forgot one more thing: if you're sure this guy was a playa, then it was better in the long run to be away from that.... (read in full...)
I started dating a player, broke up with him, now cant get him out of my head, help me!
Q. A couple months ago, I was dating a guy that went well for the first 2 weeks (infatuation phase), and then we got physical (kissing, hj, fingering. no sex). I enjoyed it and felt that he sincerely liked me (although he seemed like the player type, ...
A. 14 May 2008: Well, it's clear that you need to COMPLETELY move on from him. As I was saying in another answer, sometimes you don't get a clean, clear end to relationships (you don't get something you can point to and say "A ha! That's the reason we split!!" -- ... (read in full...)
Did he lose interest or get scared?
Q. I met this guy (24 yrs old) through a friend. We started dating right away and seemed to really hit it off. He was so funny and outgoing (great to make me laugh), but it took him many dates before he kissed me. (Guess he was shy? didn't seem like ...
A. 14 May 2008: No, you'll probably always have a passing thought of it now and then. Sometimes there are no answers coming no matter how hard you might wish it. I'm sorry but those are the hard facts of being human. Sometimes ex's can be friends... sometimes you ... (read in full...)
Did he lose interest or get scared?
Q. I met this guy (24 yrs old) through a friend. We started dating right away and seemed to really hit it off. He was so funny and outgoing (great to make me laugh), but it took him many dates before he kissed me. (Guess he was shy? didn't seem like ...
A. 14 May 2008: The first thought that entered my head was the significance of being shy. Walking hand-in-hand with shyness is insecurities... sometimes really minor, sometimes really big, but it's there someplace. In any case, I kind of get the idea that he got ... (read in full...)
I'm too scared to tell him about my past in case he doesn't want to see me anymore.
Q. Hi, I married when i was 22 (i'm now 27). I was with the guy for 5 years and we have been separated 3 years now. It was an amicable separation, we just grew apart and were too young I guess and rushed into it. I've started seeing this guy who I r...
A. 12 May 2008: Do you have anything in particular you are ashamed of? It doesn't sound like that to me at all. To me, I think you shouldn't be afraid of the past... everyone has one. IMO, you were a bit traumatized by that guy that made a big deal out of it, so I ... (read in full...)
We have agreed to take it easy but it's hard when we are together so much. Any advice?
Q. Hi, I have been single for 3 years now and up until now, I had no desire to change that. For the past 4 months I have been hanging out with this guy that I dated 15 years ago, we haven't kissed or even held hands but, have discussed somewhat...
A. 8 May 2008: Are you two moving at the same speed? From your question, it's not clear if you are the one that might want to step things up or if it's the both of you. In either case though, I think a sit-down, heart-to-heart is what's called for here, don't you? ... (read in full...)
| *eterPan's friends
These are mutual friends, so *eterPan has
added them and they have added *eterPan!
|
